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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Just finished this chapter [after lots and lots of procrastinating].
Pretty cool to see a peaceful fallout 3 start. a bit weird too, but nothing bad about it.
The only two things I'm really sure of with your story are:
-The way the younger of the two keeps calling the other 'brother' in such a formal way. I mean, if that's the pony he is, so be it. but if he's supposed to be the average pony, and not super formal, then yeah - but then again, he does have mumma's boy perk right?
-The "do you want to level up" at the end of it.
Should be a simple, flowing "Level up; Adam. yadda yadda. Level up; Neo. yadda yadda" in my mind.
otherwise, really good so far.
edit: sorry if you get three notices for this comment. for some reason it triple posted o___O
IT's always off to see a story where the leaving of the stable is one of calmness and trepidation. Most of the time its viloent or scary.