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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm thinking how far mini-engy can get on her own, she can probably be a good stowaway.
I hope Spike is able to at least steal a kiss from her at some point. Not like a passionate one, but something to register in readers while not exactly shipping them together, like other fics, but making it charmingly romantic (or is that romantically charming?). It'd be a good thing to add to the story, should you so desire to.
There was a diamond heist in Brussles recently. It reminded me of this.
This fic has me actually rooting for Sparity. You go, boy
Easy, Drake.
One step at a time. We has to learn how to stand and ride a bike before you try to ride the Tour de France. Otherwise, you're gonna get hurt in ways that cannot be completely healed. Same thing with relationships. I told this with my brother a couple of years ago.....he and his ex are good friends because of this. But I also know that it can suddenly and explosively turn into something more.
Patience is a virtue...
2165980 2167844
I actually wasn't sure about it at first, heh. I mean, we had talked about it, but I wasn't sure we could pull it off. Might still be wrong but... After Merc and I wrote this scene--well, I was blown away. When we finished, I went back to read and edit it, and it was one of those things where you ask yourself, "Did I write this? Really did I?" because it seems so well done, so excellently put together... It's astounding. Which is one of those joys we writers get to experience. Thank you for your comments, and I hope you continue to enjoy it as we go.
Rarity should have backhanded Spike across the lips for acting like an entitled little prick who thinks she owes him muff for being such a swell guy.
“Not when you’ve never even given me a chance.”
barf
Still, good chapter otherwise.
2171824
Spike ain't in it for the muff.
He's more of a hiney guy.
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/Twilight%20Sparkle%20Party%20hard.gif?1323451575
2171824 Spike never came across as wanting muff. I tend to see it more as he wants a chance to prove he could be a good partner for her. Not necessarily sexually. She has often taken advantage of his affection for her and she does rather lead him on. I can see feeling hurt after that.
Beautiful story and oh god that van...Did they perhaps have an extra passenger?
2184003
I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say here. She's never once rebuffed his friendship or been anything less than a good friend to him. How does one take advantage of freely-given affection, and how would you suggest Rarity 'repay' him?
2184048 I'm not even sure it's a case of Rarity "repaying" him. Since the personalities are based on the characters from the show, and we've seen Rarity take advantage of his feelings for her in the show I felt it wasn't too much of a stretch to think she nay have done the same in this universe as well. I acknowledge we haven't seen this though so it could easily be a baseless accusation.
I think repaying isn't really the right term for it. It implies more of a give and take than I think friendship typically is.
As for taking advantage of freely given affection, like I said the show has given examples of him allowing her to come across as looking down on him for his feelings and not treating him as well as she could. I suppose my issue is with her continuing to give him the hope of a relationship rather than making it clear as she does in this chapter. To me it should've come sooner.
I'm interested to hear if you disagree though.
2190823
Fun fact, I'm basing Rarity slightly on a girl I knew and pursued as a freshman in college (and a few situations that occurred). So, yes, people--regular, good, nifty, smart people--can be that crazy!
2190901
Continually pleased by feedback. Thank you!
2191548
This made my night. I... There are no words. Thank you.
2184048>>2184842
You are right, Ferret, to be taking the show into consideration. While the specifics are obviously different from the show, I am keeping them in mind. And it's not so much a repaying....
The way I see it is this. Does Rarity take advantage of Spike? Sure. Does he let this happen of his own free will? Mostly. Does this excuse Rarity, who is savvy enough to notice? No.
To Chuck, you can totally take advantage of something given openly and freely. Yes, I know from more experience than should be allowed (though I'm tempering Spike somewhat). That's the way I've seen it, and what I'm building on. Spike is more than willing to do near next to anything for Rarity. This is wonderful...except it's built on the hope--not expectation, there's a key difference--that something might be built from that. Rarity is well aware of this and, though she takes advantage of it, she doesn't do it with malice. Which is a key point and gives her room to redeem herself--which I've laid the foundation for here. Will it lead to an actual relationship? Time will tell. But at the least, it'll lead to more honesty between the two, and therefore more trust and openness. He's not acting entitled to anything less than what he deserves (because there's YEARS of relationship here, keep that in mind) and she's beginning to realize she should be honest with herself in how she should handle that, whatever might come of it.
2191761
What, pray tell, does Spike 'deserve'? He already has Rarity's undying friendship, after all.
Rarity what the hell. I know a quarterly appointment is a big deal, but... weigh the consequences, woman! Three months from now you won't care if you missed the Works, and if you let her get away now Alice may still be missing. What would literally any one of your friends say if they found out you and Chylene were luxuriating while the clock was ticking on a missing little girl? Would you even consider this if
SweetieStephanie were missing? Augh. So many things wrong with this idea.The Cakes seem... oddly terse in their interactions with Pinkie today. Like, those aren't "oh god hurry move move move" speech patterns, those are "shut up shut up shut up I want to get out of here without mentioning X" speech patterns. I hope this comes back into the story.
2192371 Spike likes Rarity. Rarity likes Spike. Rarity knows Spike likes her. Spike knows Rarity likes him. They've both made their feelings clear to each other- hell, Rarity acknowledges here that Spike would make a good boyfriend. I can see the similarity to the classic "nice guy" problem, but there's a key difference here, which is that Rarity likes Spike. She hasn't been turning him down because she doesn't want to date him- she's been turning him down because she thinks she shouldn't want to date him. Which is bullshit, especially when she can't even explain her reasons for thinking that.
2197413 I didn't so much see it as her being a selfish bitch as a sort of coping mechanism for her. I got the feeling she was incredibly stressed and upset and realized she needed to calm down before she'd be of any use to anyone. I figured she thought Chy felt similarly.
Kinda feeling like you're being too hard on Rarity right now. I think just because she can;t immediately put a finger on why she feels she shouldn't date Spike doesn't mean it's bullshit. I more see it as something she's not really given herself a chance to think about and hopefully recent events have forced her to realize that so she will sit down and think hard about why she feels the way she does. some of it likely stemming from social morals regarding age and similar.
I'd be interested to hear more on your take though.
2197805 Re: the spa visit: Ohhhh. That makes much more sense. Unfortunately it did not come across in the dialogue. At all. I got the feeling that she was more stressed and upset over the idea of missing her spa appointment.
I agree! Just because something is intuitively felt rather than reasoned doesn't mean it's wrong- it could just mean that your brain is quicker than you give it credit for.
This, however- this is in fact why it's bullshit. As you said earlier, there are years of history between these characters, and in all that time Rarity's only ever given a knee-jerk negative response to the idea of actually dating him. It shouldn't take you years of being asked the same question before you actually take a minute and think about the answer, especially when it pertains to the feelings of someone you care about.
2192371
Her clear recognition of his feelings. Treating him as an equal, rather than just a younger friend. He enjoys their friendship, but he's older now, more mature, but she still treats him like the little 'Spikey-wikey' she always has. And he's tired of that. And, considering his age, I don't find that a particularly extreme request on his part, though he's putting it in an emotional way because he's frustrated. Why is he frustrated? Because for Rarity, all she has known for so long is Spike the boy, Twilight's charge in an effective mother-son relationship. There's some justified awkwardness and difficulty in just suddenly switching how you view a person. We humans are creatures of pattern and habit--barring extreme circumstances, deep-rooted opinions do not change overnight. Not without effort and struggle.
2193060
Luna is not a pirate. She is simply fighting them. As for Mansfield, those thanks go to Merc. He just pulls those sorts of things from God knows where. I'm rather jealous and impressed by it.
2197413
Spike actually doesn't know that Rarity thinks anything of him except friendly, cutesy thoughts. She's never been honest with him in that regard. That's the point, that's why he's so frustrated. As I explained above--Rarity is still treating him like a boy, but he feels more mature than this (somewhat justified, somewhat not). It's not the classic nice guy problem, I assure you. I didn't write it that way, and, yes, I know it very well. Rarity does like Spike--but the key word is how does she like him? For years, she's found his actions and feelings cute, flattering, but ultimately childish and clearly temporarily. Except she was wrong--it wasn't temporary, it's lasted, it's grown. And she doesn't know fully how to handle that--her usual game of playing it off, that it's like some sort of cute game, is being found offensive by Spike. Which has her at a loss. She must reassess her relationship with Spike, learn to treat him like a young man, rather than a boy as she has for so long. She doesn't know if she wants to date him, because he's a different beast from the young boy in the care of her friend.
Even if this was true, which it isn't, doesn't necessarily make it bullshit. You keep thinking in absolutes, but there often aren't so many in the game of relationships. From her perspective, not putting herself, Spike, and the rest of their friends (though mostly Twila) into a potentially disastrous, at-the-least super awkward situation can be a perfectly valid reason.
2197805
This, more or less, yeah. Though it's a little bit of both. In my view, Rarity is one of the most individualistic of the gang--her sensibilities and thoughts on many issues are likely different than the others. Though they overlap in some ways, this was one where it didn't. Though she was worried about Alice, she ultimately believed she couldn't do much. And to her, the fact that all the others were looking justified her taking some time to allow herself to relax, since she needed it. But even still, she is savvy enough to realize that that's not the most considerate of decisions. Which is why it bothers her, why she feels a little outside the group.
Yes, this more or less as I've explained. Spike wants her to recognize his feelings for what they are, the truth, even if only to him. To treat him like an adult, respect his emotions, and be honest with him. She has not done that so far because he was a kid. He is nearly a decade younger than all of them. She's only now just realizing that how she's usually responded, in a cute, playful way, has not helped and is even hurtful for Spike. This is a new revelation for her--one that will take time and thought to truly work out.
2197967
I'm sorry you didn't manage to get that out of the dialogue. I felt it was there rather well, just more subtle. Did Rarity act more upset over the loss of the spa appointment? Oh sure, of course she did. But that's purely a defense mechanism, and more of an unconscious one at that. She's not an active, open worrier, or even super vocal about her feelings for the others. She's the type to downplay it, or dramatize some other, trivial issue to cover that fact. It's there, just different from the others--part of how I feel she stands a bit apart from the group in some ways.
Not so much 'knee-jerk', just downplayed. He was a kid, I can't stress that enough. It's perfectly understandable that she felt his crush was a temporary thing, a little harmless game to play, that he would grow out of. Instead, he grew into it. A very different beast, and one she didn't expect. Maybe this will be an 'agree to disagree' thing, but a relationship between a teenager and a twenty-something is, most often, unhealthy. I don't see any issues that she never took it seriously, young crushes on an impressive older woman are not unheard of. But you don't just say, "OK, let's do this for real." That's inconsiderate of the situation, and how would Twila have reacted if a 24, 25 year old Rarity was dating a 14 year old Spike? I find that distasteful, myself, not to mention foolish. But Spike's close to an age where that sort of age difference doesn't matter so much, that's the development here. That's why she has to reconsider, and why I justify the whole thing.
To all--please keep in mind, this isn't as cut and dry/black and white a universe as Equestria is. This is a much more human universe, these characters' foibles and faults will be played realistically, not for humor as they usually are in the show (though this can overlap). Some of these comments I feel are judging it as you would judge the show, though I may be wrong.
Regardless, I do appreciate every word. I hope my explanations suit your questions or concerns, and I'll try and do better to get that through in the dialogue in the future.
2198970
Ah. Looking back I seem to have confused "with the black crest" for some reference to "flying the black flag", which would mark a ship as a pirate vessel. This changes nothing regarding the benefits of a potential appearance by Pipsqueak in the Guard, or perhaps more appropriately, in the Royal Navy.
Regarding the spa appointment:
To be honest, though, I'm not. Her motives as they've been pointed out certainly don't seem to me like anything that she'd be so bold as to mention out loud, and downplaying the real reason in favor of something both outwardly trivial and in line with what the others have come to expect from her seems very practical and in character. Sometimes in real life you don't understand the reasoning behind someone's actions until well after the fact when an alternative to the obvious has been proposed, and I think you've done a good job conveying such a situation here.
As for Spike... maybe it's just me, and maybe I've missed something in the text, but we don't actually know how long ago this group formed, or the age of any member more specifically than the tens digit, do we? So it's hard to form opinions on when Rarity should have started taking Spike seriously. But judging by his level of competence in the first story and the degree to which even hardened criminals/mercenaries seem to care what he has to say, I still feel comfortable saying it's a bit overdue at this point. Regardless of what the ESRB has to say on the subject, I believe if you consider someone to have enough emotional maturity to be involved in your bank robbery, you should also feel comfortable considering the possibility of their being in a romantic relationship.
2199383
The black crest is referencing Luna's personal sigil on her Royal Guard. She'd be flying the Torani flag. As for Pip, well, I'm having nothing to do with him.
You're a bit unclear on what you dislike about this scene and what you don't, decrying the take and saying it unlikely or unjustified on one hand, and saying it was well done on the other. Oh well, whatever works I suppose.
There have been mentions, here or there, though I admit they are small and easily overlooked. As for more details on the characters... You might give this a look. So, yes, we could perhaps be blamed for not providing these details in the story itself, but generally I see no issue with it.
The group has been together for a few years, less than ten I'll say, but more details I'm reluctant to give hard face to. Such as the fact that Spike's maturity levels are a bit...unusual, compared to the girls.
2199444
I said I didn't get it the first time through. I never said it was bad.
Oh my, so much going on in here x) I dunno, I thought everything in this chapter was pretty clear.
Honestly don't know how to feel about Spike x Rarity. It normally doesn't work for me whatsoever since he's still a kid compared to her. In this fic I don't really have a solid feeling about it though. I suppose we'll just have to wait till this story arc unfolds more :b
2198970
Awww...
Can't say I necessarily agree with Rarity's call. Visiting the spa while Alice is missing seems a tad not ok. And poor Pinkie. To see such grimness in one so happy is a shame. But at least she has family to support her.
And we're getting kind of intense with the Sparity, aren't we? Spike and Rarity didn't dance around the issue here at all, they cut right to the chase. Since it's my otp for this fandom, I'm rooting for them to get together. Rarity is starting to question and consider it, so there maybe is a chance. Though Spike could have restrained himself a little better. I can understand his anger, but it's important to keep a cool head. Oh well, nobody is perfect. I'm hoping they get a happy ending.