A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
Shortly after the Second Battle of Geonosis, a Republic probe reports the discovery of a new planet outside of their galaxy, a seemingly insignificant occurance, if not for the CIS frigate seen orbiting the planet. Curious to see what the Separatists have found, the Republic sends a cruiser to the planet, only to be suddenly ambushed by several CIS ships. Determining that the CIS has discovered something important and prehaps vital to their war efforts, Mace Windu and Obi-Wan Kenobi dispatch Victor Squad, a group of...special clones, to the planet's surface to investigate it.
Their mission carries more weight than they think.
Shoutouts to Nathan, my friend Fernando, kento124, and to Legion222 for proof reading and editing.
Shoutout to Ultima Fatalis on DeviatArt for the awesome cover art.
Follows MLP canon excluding S3E13 and beyond as closely as possible.
If you're going to dislike, at least have the courtesy to explain why.
Undeservedly featured on 6/15/2015. Not sure why, but hey, that's cool.
Well, this here is my first attempt at writing anything outside of school, so I hope that it's not too intolerable. With this being the case, I hope you enjoy it and any feedback, whether good or bad, is welcome.
If you like it, a thumbs up is appreciated.
On another note, since this is my first big writing project, updates may be a bit slow; so if I manage to get you thouroughly intriuged by this story, I apologize for any delays.
Enjoy!
Good! Want moar!!
And you shall get more!
Later...
Is this modelled after Republic Commando or is it completely different?
Anyways is it okay if I write something similar? I was gonna collab. with someone but we haven't got started yet.
DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!!!!
2064600 You'll find that it will be kind of similar once Victor Squad gets introduced, though hopefully still original enough for you.
As for your second question, I can't control what you write, so feel free to be as similar to this as you want.
I am honored to have been an inspiration to you. I am very impressed with what I have read thus far, keep up the good work.
Insert text here! Blarg! Rabble Rabble!
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Story: Victor Squad: New Frontier
Grammar: 8/10
Pros:
- The chapters are well written.
- The story is interesting and the plot is solid.
- You’ve intrigued me; I want to see what happens.
Cons:
- Some minor spelling and grammar mistakes.
- It feels like you’ve underestimated Equestria’s military and magic, to me at least.
- Luna seams slightly out of character.
Notes: I like it. I’m not a major Star Wars fan (I’ve seen the films and the Clone Wars series and played some games, that’s it), but you have me hooked. I’m debating on what Celestia’s decision will be. Part of me really wants her to side with the CIS (I would support them if it weren’t for the Sith).
If you don’t mind, could you please look at, and review, my story The Lion and the Unicorn. I would appreciate it.
2067507 Thanks, I'm glad you like it. About Luna being out of character, I haven't planned for her to be a main character in the story, so as of now, she's mostly for comedic effect (cause even in a serious story, some humor is good).
Thanks for the review, I'll take at look at your story shortly.
Edit: After finishing the review of Feather Book's story, I have concluded that it is a must-read. Read it now!
hrm.. I don´t know if I like the story or not... but it is interesting.
2071507 Well, you can't please everyone, I guess. Still, I hope that at the very least you continue to read it and are entertained.
2072975
I´ll read your good work til the very end.After that, i shure can decide if i hate it or like it ;)
2074415 Thanks, glad to hear it!
Great job!
2075917 Thanks!
I'm thinking about adding a comedy tag to this story, but I don't know how funny you guys find it so far, or how humorous future chapters will be. Let me know how you feel about it!
2096993 If you do decide to add a comedy tag, I feel compelled to ask you to have implement a Grievous nutshot... if you want to, that is...
If you want it to have comedy then put the comedy tag. Everyone’s sense of humour is different.
I also like how the clones are all unique… It’s a bit of an oxymoron but it’s true.
2098473 With regards to your first statement, good point.
With regards to your second statement...have you read my plot summary already?
2098675 I missed that
2098686 Missed what?
2098706 I reread the plot summery. The part where it says “special clones”…
Am I making any sense or did I miss what you meant?
2098734 I see what you mean, but I must say that this converation ends here for fear of spoilers. Sorry.
Edit: Just to clear up some confusion, the plot summary I mentioned is a document on my computer with all of my story related stuff on it. What you read was the description, not the plot summary.
I’m the first comment for this chapter… well, my lateness makes that slightly embarrassing.
Good chapter, although I’m surprised at the decision to move all of Equestria to Canterlot, I would imagine it would be like moving the entire of the USA and Canada to a mountain top Washington DC.
Also that paragraph about the moon made me wonder whether Luna could discover the clones. You know, with all that dream walking and observing all under the moon thing she does…
But it’s your story, do whatever you want.
So again, good chapter. I didn’t notice any grammar problems, I like the clones and I sense changelings on the horizon… unless I misread that last sentence of course.
2156195 With regards to your statement regarding moving Equestira to Canterlot, that will be explained next chapter.
With regards to your statement regarding Luna discovering Victor squad and their dreams, my head canon is something like this: the clones are trained to not dream while they sleep, since they need to be alert, especially out in the field, and doing so would prevent them from possibly having nightmares, which could be compromising, depending on the situation. Keeping this in mind, Luna would be clueless as to the presence of Victor squad, since they don't dream.
That sorta makes more sense in my head...oh well.
With regards to your statement regarding changelings, be prepared for some [INSERT SPOILER HERE] next chapter
2157512 I can’t wait.
I sense something big is about to happen.
Although I found those lines about Fluttershy disliking the idea of being with Discord a bit confusing. Quite a few paragraphs latter they were like the friends that Keep Calm and Flutter On showed them as.
Still, once again, good chapter.
2167702 You see, form my interpretation of the episode, Fluttershy didn't quite befriend Discord, but instead formed a relationship that was more like aquaintences. Discord, on the other hand (or paw/talon in his case), really treasured that relationship and wanted to improve his standing with her, since she was, in fact, the only one to give him a chance at changeing at first.
In the chapter, she has her reservations about talking with him at first. Recall that she had just seen the labyrinth, bringing back memories of him corrupting her and almost ruining her frienships to the forefront of her mind. It would make sense that, after reflecting on the person/draconequus that almost ruined one's life, one'd be somewhat unwilling to talk with them. Had somepony else been in that scenario, they would've just shrugged him off or something similarly rude. But, being the element of kindness and the only pony that actually has some sort of positive relationship with Discord, she's willing to see and accept the genuine concern he feel.
That makes more sense in my head, but I hope that clears it up for you and anyone else who gets confused by that.
Anyways, thanks for reading, and expect Chapter 6 in approximately the next week and a half.
Oh, spoiler alert, some changelings are about to have their sh
t fu
ed.
So let's get some conversation started. Anyone got any speculations? Anyone think that Shining Armor, Discord, and Fluttershy are correct in their apprehensions? Will Gore finally snap and end Spy's rambling once and for all? What was that thing that Shy had in his grenade pouch? Are these all spoilers? What do you think?
Love it. Keep up the good work.
2168034 A new approximately 6-8 thousand word chapter in a week and a half? How do you do it!?
As for speculations? Well, no matter what side Equestria ends up on they will eventually fall to the Sith unless you find a way to kick out all ‘aliens’ and remove all trace of the planet from the galaxy. Or Equestria’s addition could cause events that would stop the Empire ever forming and then Equestria will become bogged down with the senate and stuff… I don’t know what is worse.
One other thing I thought of, Celestia decided essentially the fate of their planet without any say form any other species. Did she even let the Gryphons, Minotaurs, Zebra and any other nation’s/species know that aliens had arrived? It’s a tiny point that doesn’t have anything to do with the story; it’s just a thought though.
2171674 Well, you see, ponies are basically the dominant civilization of the planet (to get it out of the way, the planet is called Equus). After all, they do control the sun and moon, which are vital to the existance of all life on the planet. As a result, at least in my head-canon, the other species will have to respect Celestia's decision.
Recall that in Chapter 1, Grievous tells Dooku that he has located the leader of the dominant species of Equus (or something to that effect, I don't remember the exact wording). This indicates that Grievous only has interest in Equestria.
One thing that I should mention that may/may not be significant: Celestia hasn't allowed the Republic any say in her decision. Curious?
Does Celestia have a little crush...?
Oh Celestia you are so easy to betray...The CIS is going to expoit Equestria and the Ponies are going to die...Thats what is going to happen^^
2194849 Umm...yes.
2195045 Yes, it is sad that the kind and loving ponies are capable of allowing their excessive trust of others to potentially lead to the utter destruction of their civilization.
2097209 A Grievous nutshot has been implimented
...though maybe not in the most humorous of context, but it's there nonetheless!
2195048
Not likely.
I’m late
Yet another great chapter. I can’t wait for the chaos that the clone’s appearance will cause.
No matter who wins, unless Equestria can hide themselves they will still fall to the Sith. I just hope for Celestia’s (and everypony else’s) sake that the damage can be kept minimal.
2223156 Isn't it wierd knowing that the clones are good guys but they're the ones causing chaos?
Why this sin't on the featured page, I do not know
2224408 I'm flattered that you think that
, but I must say that I'm certianly not skilled enough for a honor like that. But, if you could help spread the word about this story, publicity is always appreciated! And stay tuned, Chapter 7 is coming out soon!
Yay! Chapter 7!
The ARC Trooper's decals are a reference to a certain video game villain...whoever can guess it right first wins a Scootaloo.
So this is the first chapter where the point of view switches a lot very quickly, and the headings might start getting a little confusing, so I'm going to quickly let everyone know what the deal with them is.
The headings indicate the specific loaction, general location, and time for the group that is being followed. And the names of locations will change as the group learns about where they are (for example, at first, Equus is called EGP-01 in the headings for any time the POV switches to the CIS until Grievous learns that the planet is called Equus, at which point it is updated in any future headings from the same POV).
Hope that makes sense.
Anyways, if anything confuses you, just let me know and I'll try to clarify. And, as always, enjoy!
Why is everything in italics
I have no idea who the ARC trooper is referencing. Although, I’ll probably kick myself when you say who it is.
One thing did occur to me as odd though. Why does it seem that Celestia has suddenly grown a crush on a giant metal alien with a bad temper?
Anyways, another good chapter. Even if everything after the sentence “The commandeered vessel made straight for the Loyalty, which wasn't a very far path due to the dangerously close proximity it had ended its jump with” is in italics.
This getting better with each chapter.