Chapter 2: Apology
As Diamond Tiara trotted off towards the schoolhouse, Scootaloo got up from her table, finishing her blueberry muffin. Walking to the door of Sugar Cube Corner, she turned around.
"Thanks again for the muffin, Mr. Cake. It was wonderful.” said Scootaloo, smiling at the orange stallion.
"No problem, Scootaloo," Mr. Cake replied, returning the mare’s smile. "It was nice seeing you again." He finished, returning his attention to another customer.
Walking out of the shop, Scootaloo started thinking. 'Rainbow Dash is in Canterlot today with the Wonderbolts, so she's out of the picture.' She started walking down the road, 'Twilight’s always nice to hang out with. I’ll go see her.’ she thought, smiling to herself she changed course and headed for Golden Oaks Library.
After a brief trot to the library, Scootaloo opened the door and walked inside. Closing the door behind her, she noticed a lavender unicorn with a purple mane and violet highlights.
Hearing the door close, the lavender mare looked up from her book, smiling as she closed it.
“Hey there Scootaloo,” she said. “I thought you’d be with Apple Bloom today?”
“Hey Twilight. I was hoping to hang out with her today, but she’s busy helping Applejack on the farm.” Scootaloo said, grinning at Twilight. “Are you busy today?”
“Sadly, yes. Princess Celestia asked me to do some research into Star Swirl the Bearded,” Twilight replied, sighing. “This is one of his personal spell books,” she continued, holding up a book with her magic. “The spells in it are incomplete though, and don’t work right. The Princess sent it to me thinking I might be able to find out how to complete them. So far though, no luck.” Putting the book down, she looked over at Scootaloo. “Did you want my help with something?”
“Not really. I was hoping we could chat.” Scootaloo replied, feeling down.
“Sorry, Scootaloo,” Twilight started. “I would love to chat, but the princess is counting on me,” she finished, sadly.
“It’s okay, I understand,” the pegasus said, faking a smile. Turning around, she headed for the front door. Waving goodbye to the unicorn, she said, “See ya later, Twilight.”
As she exited the front door, she could hear Twilight say, “See ya, Scoots.”
Closing the door to the library, Scootaloo started walking down the street. 'Well, Twilight was a bust. Who else might wanna hang out and chat?' she thought to herself.
Stopping, she turned around, hearing somepony calling her name. "Hey, Scootaloo!" She heard again, turning around to see a silver grey mare, sporting a grey mane with silver streaks. "Wait for me, will you?"
"Hey Silver Spoon," Scootaloo said, smiling. "I thought you were still in Manehattan?" She said, curious.
"I was, till just a little bit ago. I didn't expect to see you though," Silver Spoon replied. "What were you doing at the library?" She asked, tilting her head to the side.
"Nothing really. Today’s one of my days to just relax." Scootaloo said. "I came here to see if Twilight was free to chat, but she's busy.” She finished with a sigh.
"Don't you normally hang out with Apple Bloom or Sweetie Belle on your days off?" Silver Spoon asked.
"Normally I do, but Sweetie's out of town this week and Bloom is helping on the farm," she said dejectedly. "What about you-- doing anything today?" She asked, hoping she wasn't busy.
"Not really, to be honest. When I get the chance to come home, I normally just relax," the grey mare said, hanging her head down. "Life in Manehattan is... rough."
Scootaloo looked at Silver Spoon. "Would you like to hang out?" She asked the earth pony. "I know we've never been close friends, but I think you're a good friend." She finished, grinning.
"You think of me as a friend?” She wondered out loud. “I thought I was just an acquaintance to you, and the other crusaders."
"I don't know about the others, but yes, I do think of you as a friend." The pegasus said sweetly. "We might not talk very often or anything, but ever since you apologized to us, I've kinda seen you as a friend. Anyone who's strong enough to admit they were wrong, deserves a second chance." Finishing what she was saying, Scootaloo started remembering what happened that day, four years ago.
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"So what do ya'll wanna do today?" Apple Bloom had said, as they sat in the old crusader club house.
"I'm not sure Bloom," answered a white mare with a purple and pink mane. "What about you Scoot?" She asked, tilted her head to the side as she looked at the pegasus across from her.
"I'm not really sure either, Belle. Been so long since all three of us could hang out together," Scootaloo started, using the name Sweetie Belle asked them to call her. "I just wanna make sure we have a lot of fun today." She finished, getting up and walking to the window to think. "Hey guys. We have some company," she said, seeing Silver Spoon approaching the clubhouse.
"What's that bully want here?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"I don't know Belle, and to be honest, I don't give an apple buck what she wants." Apple Bloom said, scowling.
"Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo? Are you three up there?" Silver Spoon called up to the clubhouse.
"What are you doing here, Silver Spoon?" Scootaloo spat. "You can't really call us 'blank flanks' anymore since we have our cutie marks."
“I know. I'm not here to bully you. I was hoping I could talk to you.” Silver Spoon said, with sadness in her voice. “Please?”
“What do you guys think?” Scootaloo asked, turning around to her friends and lowering her voice so Silver Spoon couldn't hear. “Should we go talk to her?”
“I don't know if I trust her, but what harm could there be in talking to her?” Apple Bloom said. “Do you have anything against talking to her Belle?” She asked, turning her head to look at Sweetie Belle.
“Not if you guys don't,” Sweetie Belle said, unsure of Silver Spoon.
“Alright, lets go down there though. Agreed?” Scootaloo inquired.
“Agreed,” both mares said in unison.
“Alright then,” the pegasus said turning back to the window. “We’ll be right down.” she called down to Silver Spoon.
“Okay,” Silver Spoon said, sighing, relieved that they would talk to her.
Silver Spoon watched as the three friends descended from the clubhouse, shuffling on her hooves, noticeably nervous. As they reached the ground she flashed them a small smile.
"Alright, Silver Spoon. What do ya want?" Apple Bloom said, with a little more venom in her voice then she meant.
Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo all sat down, waiting for Silver Spoon to start talking.
"Alright, first thing I wanna say is I'm sorry." Silver Spoon started, shuffling on her hooves. "I've done a lot of thinking in the past years. I should have never let Diamond Tiara talk me into bullying you three, like we did. I'm not saying its her fault," she continued, her voice shaky. "What I did to you three was my fault. I choose to do what Diamond Tiara said, so I could be cool in school, but I know now that I was wrong." Silver Spoon's voice was normal now, as she continued speaking. "I don't expect you three to forgive me, after everything I did to you, but I had to apologize to you. Its been eating me up for a while." She finished, noticeably calmer. She looked up at the mare and noticed their mouths agape, speechless. "I'll be going now. I just had to get that off my chest. Goodbye."
As Silver Spoon turned around and walk away, Scootaloo called out to her. "Silver Spoon, wait." Silver Spoon stopped, turning around and looking at the orange pegasus. "Do you mean every word you said?" Scootaloo said, walking up to her and looking her in the eye.
"Yes, Scootaloo. I meant every word." She responded firmly, looking Scootaloo in the eye. "I've seen you guys together so much, even though you guys are so different. It makes me think... maybe I could have been friends with you guys if I wasn’t so mean to you." Silver Spoon continued.
Sweetie Belle walked over to Silver Spoon, placing a hoof on her shoulder, smiling. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to give her a chance," she said, looking over at her two friends. "If she means what she says, then I'm gonna give her a second chance."
Silver Spoon looked at the unicorn shocked.
"I guess yer right Belle, everypony deserves a second chance." Apple Bloom said, giving a sincere smile to Silver Spoon. "What about you?" She asked, gesturing to Scootaloo with her hoof.
"I'm willing to give her a second chance." The pegasus said, smiling.
Silver Spoon was on the verge of tears. "I don't think I deserve your kindness, but thank you for giving me a second chance." Silver Spoon said, starting to cry at their kindness.
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"I didn't think you three would be so forgiving," Silver Spoon said, smiling at Scootaloo. "If you wouldn't mind having me, I’d love to hang out with you.”
"I would enjoy that as well." said Scootaloo, returning the smile.
"Would you like to have a picnic?" She asked. "It would be a wonderful chance for us to learn more about each other."
"That would be wonderful." She replied, smiling and throwing her hooves around the other mare in a hug.
After getting a basket of food and a blanket, the two mares went to the park to have their picnic.
Ooh Update! Been waiting for this!
Ok, frstly, I'd like to say that for your first fic, the pace and grammer is perfect; You don't rush encounters, nor do you spend an eternity describing a simple walk. Reading through, I for one couldn't find any grammer mistakes, so thats good.
There is one thing that caught my eye; you tend to overuse the phrase 'Finished (x)...' after (x) talks. A suggestion would be just to remove it;
e.g.
.... nice seeing you again." He waved a hoof in Scoots direction before turning his attention to another customer.
Also, your characters dialogue is a little broken, being interupted every sencence by and action descriptor. She blushed, She continued, She sighed. To make it flow better, try only doing this when you have a large chunk of talking, describe at the end if short enough, or describe when the character pauses in talking ( "Well, I..." She paused, trying to find the right words.)
But apart from that, great piece, I congratulate you and your editors/pre readers.
2327730 Thank you for the advise... Ill try to incorporate it during the next chapter ^^
im glad your liking this story.... makes me really happy I started this story, knowing someone was watching for an update.
Grammer Mistakes you can Thank my Editor for lol... he fixed a lot of them
Hopfully you wont have to wait as long for chapter 3 as you did for this one lol
As I told you on that PM, I liked it!
It's always good to show what happened in the past
2329564 Just you wait ^^ more back story coming in the next few chapters ^^
2329571 Yay!
This is Kalash93 from Authors Helping Authors. I am writing your review.
Grammatik: 5. Your spelling is fine. However, your grammar has numerous recurring errors, especially with your usage of commas.
Pros:
1. Your story does not drag.
2. Adult Scootaloo is handled with a new spin.
3. You put effort into it.
Cons:
1. The story is extremely choppy.
2. You tell far too much.
3. Your scene construction is woeful.
Comments: To be honest, this story is bad. I can't be nicer about it. Your story does not drag. Something is always happened. The action is always moving. The style is laconic, which helps to distract from the problems. I do like how Scootaloo is an adult in this story. You did show that things have changed for her since she was a filly. I do have to commend you on putting effort into the story. What you really need is practice. Now, your story is very choppy. You cut far too many scenes short. You have far too many flashbacks and jumps. It completely breaks any sort of atmosphere or flow that might be. You also tell too much. Spelling everything out is boring and not good writing. Finally, you are veyr bad at constructing scenes. Everything might as well be happening in white voids without any backgrounds. You need to develop things.
You earn 2/10 flutteryays. You need to practice and study good writing. Don't be discouraged, for everybody sucks at the start.
Please review one of my stories. It doesn't matter which one; take your pick.
2477157 I thank you for your Review and will aim to improve my work on this story and future stories i am working on.
I like this fic, but, if you don't mind me saying, it could be executed a bit better, for example, the characters seem too different from the way they are portrayed in the show, even with the leap in time, and another thing, more of a personal annoyance really, but what are the CMC's marks? I'm very anxious to see how everyone's favorite fillies found their destinies, but for the sake of this story, I'd at least like to know what that destiny is, I'll be watching this story to see how it progresses over time. Well Done!
If this is Sweetie Belle I would ask you to look at her again. Her coloring is white much like her sister and father.
My opinion thus far is not optimistic. My major concern oddly to me is just how forgiving Scootaloo was to Silver Spoon. This may be my head-cannon talking but Scootaloo seems like the type to hold a grudge. I'm not saying she wouldn't eventually forgive Silver and move on but I feel that Scoots would have her do some petty thing for revenge (like climb a tree and get covered in tree sap) then forgive her. I may revise this after I read the next chapter.