The world has changed a lot in just a century. Cheerilee and her sidekick Golden Ring must fight terror in a modern world, and as they say, you have to fight fire with fire...
The descriptions of putting in the armour were incredible. Just the right amount of suggestion to let the mind carry the rest of the imagery. The piece with her covering her heart was really incredible. The small mention of her nosing aside her lungs was what really struck me. It wouldn't even occur to me to think of the lungs being in the way and your small mention of them sharpened the scene so much from such a small thing. Truly incredible. You likely will be the holder of my favourite Golden at this rate. Your dedication and focus really shows.
I won't lie. The fact I'm complimenting you on describing someone getting their skin torn off and having armoured plates fitted inside them is a bit weird and definitely not something I pictured myself doing. Now that I am though I want to compliment you on your descriptions of the pieces of armour. I really shows you did your homework on figuring out what would work in terms of shaping. My main curiousity is actually how think or noticeable they will be. Are the outside plates very thin and hard to spot or is it clear she has something under her skin? I could see each one having pros and cons. Pros could certainly add to the horror aspect, though for cons letting your opponents know of your advantages is never a good idea.
On Cheerilee I find myself recalling a character in a novel being attacked by something from his nightmares and refusing to budge. He is beaten almost to death but is described as being so strong and tough that the damage is merely physical and nothing was able to penetrate his mental barriers. No matter how much the monster wants him to be he refuses to be scared.
And yes, this is going to be a bit darker, what with all the terrorizing to be done. (BTW, that avatar pic is awesome, Curious)
2053504 Wow, thanks! I put a lot of effort into getting that visceral feel, and TNaB was a huge help as well, so it's nice to know that it impacted you so much.
2053841 Whoops, I didn't notice who the actual author was, I thought this was totallynotabrony! Still, my point stands, this is pretty dark, and not the lame 12-year-old-loledgy kind of dark. This is the good stuff.
Also, thanks, I get that a lot (as you can imagine).
Just finished reading chapter two. I'm squemish around blood and this made me shiver, I LOVE when a fic can get a RL reaction out of me, fucking perfect. So far this newest installment in the vampire Cheerilee serious really seems to be pumping fresh life into it, I was worried with the last installment that it was beginning to become stale but that no longer worries me, great job, both of you.
This is one of those stories I'm going to have to tread lightly on since my mind paints very (and I mean very) detailed pictures when I read. It got to the point that I nearly passed out from that armor installing scene.
Not to say it's a bad thing. I thought I got over my squeemish side ages ago, this just proved otherwise.
This is quickly going somewhere amazing. Darker than your usual stuff too. I like it.
I like where this is going
The descriptions of putting in the armour were incredible. Just the right amount of suggestion to let the mind carry the rest of the imagery. The piece with her covering her heart was really incredible. The small mention of her nosing aside her lungs was what really struck me. It wouldn't even occur to me to think of the lungs being in the way and your small mention of them sharpened the scene so much from such a small thing. Truly incredible. You likely will be the holder of my favourite Golden at this rate. Your dedication and focus really shows.
I won't lie. The fact I'm complimenting you on describing someone getting their skin torn off and having armoured plates fitted inside them is a bit weird and definitely not something I pictured myself doing. Now that I am though I want to compliment you on your descriptions of the pieces of armour. I really shows you did your homework on figuring out what would work in terms of shaping. My main curiousity is actually how think or noticeable they will be. Are the outside plates very thin and hard to spot or is it clear she has something under her skin? I could see each one having pros and cons. Pros could certainly add to the horror aspect, though for cons letting your opponents know of your advantages is never a good idea.
On Cheerilee I find myself recalling a character in a novel being attacked by something from his nightmares and refusing to budge. He is beaten almost to death but is described as being so strong and tough that the damage is merely physical and nothing was able to penetrate his mental barriers. No matter how much the monster wants him to be he refuses to be scared.
2039902
Indubitably.
2050518>>2051824
Glad to hear it!
And yes, this is going to be a bit darker, what with all the terrorizing to be done.
(BTW, that avatar pic is awesome, Curious)
2053504
Wow, thanks! I put a lot of effort into getting that visceral feel, and TNaB was a huge help as well, so it's nice to know that it impacted you so much.
Oh my god!
That was very descriptive.
2053841
Whoops, I didn't notice who the actual author was, I thought this was totallynotabrony! Still, my point stands, this is pretty dark, and not the lame 12-year-old-loledgy kind of dark. This is the good stuff.
Also, thanks, I get that a lot (as you can imagine).
2055307
Well, TNaB did write about half of it, so I think I can understand why you'd miss that.
Just finished reading chapter two. I'm squemish around blood and this made me shiver, I LOVE when a fic can get a RL reaction out of me, fucking perfect. So far this newest installment in the vampire Cheerilee serious really seems to be pumping fresh life into it, I was worried with the last installment that it was beginning to become stale but that no longer worries me, great job, both of you.
One Word: OUUUUCH.
This is one of those stories I'm going to have to tread lightly on since my mind paints very (and I mean very) detailed pictures when I read. It got to the point that I nearly passed out from that armor installing scene.
Not to say it's a bad thing. I thought I got over my squeemish side ages ago, this just proved otherwise.
And thus, RoboCheerilee was born