Scootaloo's Childhood

PaleRider

PaleRider #1 · Jan 20th, 2013 · 1 · ·

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No.

Congratualtions if your goal was infuriate your readers.

wYvern

wYvern #2 · Jan 20th, 2013 · 2 · ·

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Wow, this was... infuriating, as PaleRider already pointed out. I think you tried to go for a sad angle, seeing as you tagged it as such, but the pity one might feel for Scootaloo is wiped away by mind-comsuming rushes of hatred towards her stepmother, who is deliberatly evil. While your story is not badly written, it clearly failed at being sad for that reason.

There are many ways this could have turned out well, the mother using doubtful, but in HER mind righteous and good means of education, Scootaloo being neglected because her caretaker needs to work all the time to keep clothes on their backs, stuff like that. I think you should eliminate the sad tag from this story, this is just dark--and I'd add the gore tag for good measure, although I don't know if blood is enough for that, but it'd do it.

Listie The Scribe Maid

Listie The Scribe Maid #3 · Jan 21st, 2013 · · 1 ·

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(Joke) Alt. Title: In My Life: Scootaloo's Childhood Sucked

Frost Wind

Frost Wind #4 · Jan 21st, 2013 · · ·

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Not bad. Not bad at all.

mandopony

mandopony #5 · Jan 21st, 2013 · · ·

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I agree with wYvern fellow. A dark tag would be more appropriate for the story. However the sad tag could stay if in later chapters there are sad scenes such as her step mother taking away her CMC cape, baring her from hanging out with her friends, or some important pony she idolizes blows her off causing her to question whether its worth being alive or better being dead. As well as other things of this nature.

Darkentrophy

Darkentrophy #6 · Jan 21st, 2013 · · ·

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Out-and-out Scootabuse. The story is pretty much one scene after another of her stepmother finding new reasons and ways to punish her. Go watch Cinderella or read the first entry in A Series of Unfortunate Events to see how this should be done.

Abuser

Abuser #7 · Jan 21st, 2013 · · ·

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1992211>>1992033
Sorry it was infuriating, I figured it would be easy enough to feel sorry for Scootaloo while feeling anger towards the mother, I didn't think one would over power the other. I actually thought the two would work together well, but I guess I was wrong.

PaleRider

PaleRider #8 · Jan 21st, 2013 · 1 · ·

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1995773

Look, I don't hate what you done here. It's just that I don't understand the goal. If was feeling despair towards Scoot situation, then yes, I feel it. The problem is that her mother is so cruel and cold that the anger you feel towards her for doing those things to Scoot is enough to want to nail her head with a bat and take the filly from her claws. The sadness you are supposed to feel gets overpowered by the anger...

I want to be a father someday, and I know that I will love my child with all my heart. That's why I can't withstand this fic. Now let's immerse ourselves in some fantasy for an instant: If you, by god-knows-why motives found a My Little Pony character, a filly pony in some dark corner, would you be able to treat her like this?
When I read it, I kept thinking that her mother was spiting on a gift that she received, a gift that I would turn into a treasure. And I hate when someone have something that is a dream come true to me, and don't give a fuck, let alone treat it like trash.

I didn't even saw that the fic was incomplete. Sorry, not going to read this one anymore, it make me want to vomit, but I praise your flawless text, and impecable execution.

I know that all this rambling is just a bunch of personal opinions, I dunno if they can give you any kind of support, but that's what I feel towards this fic. Hope you can squeeze something helpful, sorry.

FenrisianBrony