The demon lord Ghirahim has filled out his directive. Now free and in a world of innocence and technicolor ponies, he's out to cause some havoc.
MLP and Skyward Sword crossover. Comment and critique please. All feedback appreciated!
Chapters (3)
Spokes
Joined 14th Dec, 2012 ·
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I have a feeling the destruction he causes is going to free Discord
Either way, I'm tracking this
So...who will stop Him? Will
Link just appear out of nowhere like he did? I konw u just posted this today, but so far the prolouge wasnt so great. But I like it. Sorry if I sounded to harsh (and please no grammer nazis).
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All feeback is goodback...wait. no but this will get better i assure ye. tell me how to improve and i can do so.
this will focus solely on ghirahim and be more about his character development from souless puppet of destruction to maybe nice guy?
While this is a good premise, and I'd like to see more, there are a great number of spelling and grammar mistakes that I feel need addressed. However, I would like to help, if you would let me. I'd like to be your proofreader, or beta-reader, whatever they call it. I would only correct grammar and spelling errors, not change anything in the story itself. People will take a story more seriously if there is proper grammar. Do you accept?
I feel I should let you know about a couple things. One, Vaati's eyes only go cat-like when he gets really angry and is on the verge of changing forms. Two, Vaati would recognize Ghirahim from knowing so much about Hyrule's history, but with Ghirahim now as a pony, Vaati might dismiss it as just the usual Equestrian weirdness. And finally, Vaati would kick Ghirahim's ass if they came to blows. Just sayin'. :3
I accept wholeheartedly good sir and would appreciate any input/help you would give Allow me to address a few of your concerns. Vaati would own Ghirahim' s ass, there is no doubt about that but Ghirahim was created as a puppet to make others into puppets, not for full on confrontation. Thus he would avoid it were possible, he makes others do his dirty work and only directly fights where he thinks he can win easily; he fought link seeing him as just a stupid kid with an enchanted sword and later on out of desperation as he was so close to disrupting his plans. Vaati is of emotion and power (didn't he control the triforce at one point?) whereas Ghirahim was created solely as a puppet, however now that he has no directive anymore, he will simply seek power and destruction as he knows nothing else (he was once a sword). While Vaati may have knowledge of the old gods (hylia and demise) he may not know specifically about Ghirahim or the events that transpired to demise's defeat. This is because he doesn't show (or anyone else) that he knows that link is the reincarnation of hylia's chosen hero or zelda is hylia plus Ghirahim is not a large part in the legend (if at all).
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I'll give you a little info on the Hyrule history Vaati is familiar with. (my headcanon one, so it differs hugely from Hyrule Historia, which my theory-happy mind will never accept as canon) The "old gods" does not include Demise. The old god that represents Evil is Majora, and he created Demise as a sort of herald/ruler for the demon tribe (which consists of every non-Ganon/Vaati antagonist in the series) which he also created. And since Minish Cap comes chronologically right after Skyward Sword, (somehow) knowledge of Demise's fall would still be known to Vaati. If Vaati ever does realize Ghirahim is in Equestria, he could rub Demise's defeat in Ghirahim's face, as well as point out that every single member of the demon tribe that has ever gone against Link's reincarnations has lost. That could make for some delicious drama for Mr. Fabu--I mean Ghirahim, knowing his efforts were utterly wasted.
Yeah, that would work, the mad bastard was sooooo close to snapping in skyward sword I really wish in the final confrontation he had just gone bat shit insane on me instead of being annoyingly calm in his fighting style. Him snapping properly with prehaps his ineffectuality against the elements doubled with his fury at Hylia's hero could be an interesting plot element......
Finaly a new chapter.
I have been wating for this a long time
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Sorry man, this has actually been done for quite some time.... but it's summer now in little ol' England and I can finally start making this interesting.....
Excellent as always, good sir.
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Merci
I think you meant Lord. While can certainly be "loud", Ghirahim would probably object to having that pointed out.
Wait, wheres the rest??
Your grammar.... your spelling...... my eyes.....
I would really recommend you go through this and fix the errors. There are so many in only the first paragraph that I simply skipped down to leave this review. It might be smart to find somebody to proof read your chapters for you.
I like the concept, and I don't know about its execution, but the spelling and grammar have got to be fixed.