Eighteen year old James West doesn't really live a normal life on Earth; he and his father scrape by, attempting to make ends meet while they ignore the gaping hole in their lives. When James too is ripped from his fathers life due to a cruel twist of fate, however, the young man must create alliances with Equestria's best (and worst) if he wants to come back home.
As he spends more time in this, new, strange world, however, James has to make an important decision; can he sacrifice his new friends in order to return to his father? Or will he remained bound to Equestria forever in order to protect those who would take him in?
This is the tale of a human who can't seem to decide who's worthy of being saved, and who should live a life of misery.
Also he tells really bad jokes.
Cover art done by the Great and Generous Sonson21! Go check him out!
Love it
Hey guys, my computer wigged out and Chapter two ended up being posted prematurely. It was incomplete, and really unpolished, so apologies about that. I'm looking to release it on Saturday, should I not run into any problems. Thanks for all the positive feedback, and sorry about any confusion.
Okay so he's okay with being on a different planet/dimension/universe/time with talking ponies and he is perfectly fine with going with them through a supposed dangerous forest... i would of just been like "Strange. How did I get here? Well time to find civilization but i better grab that big stick over there for protection."
You've interested me enough to see where this goes.
Discord... DUNDUNDUUUHHHH
Instant dislike, right there. A dollar for every time I saw this exact same sentence.
I swear, It's like you guys are using a template, or something.
*reads first paragraph*
[sarcasm] Hm. Why did he wake up in a human body? Why not go all the way, and make him a black alicorn with red mane? [/sarcasm]
...
Ok, getting attacked by RD. This cliche is sore from overuse. It hurts, and begs for the pain to stop. Please, have mercy on it.
Ok, ok. *deep breath* Water under the bridge, man, water under the bridge... *vaas.jpg*
Anyway. You're not a terrible writer, it is mostly well-written, actually.
It just doesn't impress us anymore, because it's been done wa-a-a-ay too many times.
HOWEVER, what you need is Original Idea.
Like I said before, your plot is terribly generic. Wake up in Equestria with an amnesia, meet Mane6, blah-blah-blah. Boo-ring.
If you need an original idea, pm me. I'm willing to help.
_____________
EDIT: I fixed the sarcasm tags for trekee.
1968245
Your one of those people who watch the first 5 minutes of a movie and then say it sucks and stops watching it, seriously dude?
Also who is "us"? Really how do you know that everyone here hates stories like these? Also if you even bothered yourself to read the second chapter im shure you would find something that doesnt copy everything else. Besides in most stories the Human is instantly liked and peace is made instantly, I have only seen a few where the Humans are hated and are already known about.
Also you contridict yourself. You spend the first paragraph bitching about how its booring and cliche then you turn around and say he needed to NOT be in a human body but be in a PONIES one instead. I mean really do you know how many more times that idea has been used in compare to these? ALOT!
Now get off your soap box.
1968293
No, I am not. You don't know me. I was talking to the author, not to you.
1968321
You said yourself that you disliked the story as soon as it began so I can only assume. Also IDC if you were talking to the author, there are two ways to give contstructive criticisme.
The first is to be nice and kindly give the author help.
The second is what you did, basically act like a huge dick while ocassionaly putting in some info to help.
1968357
There are plenty of people who like to criticize. More importantly, why do you have a problem with me criticizing someone? I thought that's what this website was for. You know, write a fic - get some feedback, improve. Authors who want to improve their writing are usually grateful for criticism.
And I have seen plenty.
Have you no understanding of sarcasm? I'm sorry. Maybe you should take a look at my profile page. I'll insert [sarcasm] tags from now on, so people like you wouldn't get confused. Also, that 1 dislike, you see it? Yeah, it isn't mine. I didn't mark the story. I do not act like a huge dick over here, if I want to act like a huge dick, I go to 4chan.
Anyway. I don't understand who you are, and what you want from me. I wasn't even talking to you, I was talking to the author. You can clearly see that I've offered my help, and asked him to pm me if he wants it.
1968245 Ya, I knew as soon as I came up with the idea that it had probably been done like... A billion times before. I have a few plans for it down the road that should shake things up a little bit, but I'm really just using this one as a way to improve my writing skills.
1969417
DUNDUNDUHHHHHH........
I vote yay for AJ and James
I vote for James to get hurt in the everfree and has to hide out in a old haunted house near the edge
A Canadian, finally! It was getting to the point were I thought only americans where allowed in Equestria.
2081182
Yea well I vote neigh.
wow rainbow is a dick
best part"...and then Optimus Prime was all like, 'Freedom is the right of all sentient beings' and Megatron was like, 'Aww dammit' and got the... oil? kicked out of him."
Twilight looked at me in wonder as I recounted the tale of Canada's creation and independence. "Thatsh incredible Jamshe! But what happened to the Prime Minishter Batman?"
I nodded sagely. "Oh, he just escaped the Tardis in time to save Finn and Jake."
Twilight smacked a hoof to her forehead. "Of course! How could I have missed that?"
I just shrugged. "Happens to the best of us, Purple Smart."
Dude, TARDIS is all caps.
2103102 Thanks for telling me, I'll be sure to fix it. I'm not a hardcore Who fan, so I really only knew it by name.
2102953 I agree 100%
2084874 im an 'murican and and i say that seems to be the truth. But I've seen good story from atlest 5 difficult Nations also..... DAM you phone!
Damn funny chapter.
"I never even got my second glass of water."
I lol'ed
dailyhaha.com/_pics/i_need_an_adult.jpg this was going threw my head with that last bit.
This just keeps getting better, and James is one funny bastard.