Envy and Arrogance

by Mindblower

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

*******

Twilight and her small group of survivors started to help Apple Bloom out of sickness.

We don’t really have a plan at this point, Rarity thought, but we’re not going to just sit here and let her die. I’m not sure if we’re making a mistake or not by doing that, but I could care less. I would never forgive myself if I left her here without giving her the proper care that she justly deserves.

Applejack and Pinkie were stirring soup for their dinner that night. Applejack was gathering wild fruits and vegetables, and Pinkie hummed a tune as she tended to the various instruments around the kitchen. There was a giant pot on the stovetop, with enough soup that the nine ponies present could share.

Fluttershy, Rarity, and Sweetie Belle were tending to Apple Bloom, reading to her, and telling her stories. “Her life has been hard for the past few years,” Fluttershy had said. “I want to make it better, as much as I possibly can.”

Twilight was rehearsing the spell she had chosen. It’s not a very specific spell, she thought as she muttered magical phrases, but if I pull it off, Apple Bloom should survive. In fact, I guarantee it, with my new talent. Still, it doesn’t hurt to practice.

Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo didn’t have as central a role, but mainly were just hanging about. This wasn’t to say they were being lazy; it’s just that when you try and have eight ponies all trying to help the same pony at the same time, the results don’t typically involve anything really getting done. So, they ran errands, but for the most part, they were reminiscing and just having fun, like friends should.

Apple Bloom was fast asleep.

“She’s been sleeping for a while now,” Fluttershy remarked. She felt for a pulse on Apple Bloom’s neck. She’s still alive, she sighed to herself, relieved, and she looks like she’s recovering.

“That’s good,” Rarity said. “I’m sure she’ll be better in no time.”

Apple Bloom was wrapped in her blankets. The herbs Fluttershy had given her had knocked her out within minutes, and Fluttershy was fretting about whether she had given her too much, even though the yellow mare had triple-checked to make sure that it was the right measurement.

“If she doesn’t wake up around dinnertime, I have a spell somewhere in my library I can fetch,” Twilight said, briefly interrupting her complicated incantations.

“What are you doing over there, Twilight? I mean, with all the gibberish and stillness?” Rarity asked. “I’m a bit worried.”

Twilight paused. “Um, you mean, incantations?”

“Well, if that’s what you call gibberish, then yes,” Rarity said.

Hmm… Usually my magic has been limited to concentration. Just how long have I been practicing? Have I lost track of time? It’s only been a few minutes, I think, Twilight remarked to herself. “How long have I been sitting here?” Twilight asked. Why am I all stiff? I think I’ve been sitting here a little longer than I thought.

“Well, you’ve been here since Applejack and Pinkie started dinner, and they said that it’s almost done now,” Sweetie Belle said. “Why?”

“Oh, I must have lost track of time,” Twilight said, getting up. Ack, now I’m really stiff. Twilight shook out her limbs. “Ugh,” she said. Incantations are usually reserved for intensive study; just how powerful has my magic become? Twilight shifted the crown on her head. It had a faint glow, but nothing too noticeable unless you were six inches away from it.

“Soup’s on!” Applejack called from downstairs.

“It smells wonderful,” Fluttershy said, wafting the air. She was hungry as well; it had been five or six hours since they first woke up, and it was nearing dusk.

“I’ll take a bowl up for Apple Bloom first,” Rarity said. “Twilight, do you think you could wake her up?”

Twilight looked at Apple Bloom, a peaceful lump lying in a cluster of blankets. She needs her rest, but she hasn’t eaten in days. That’s probably more important. The purple mare got near Apple Bloom. There’s no sense in getting a spell if I only have to, well, ‘knock on the front door,’ I guess.

Twilight shone a somewhat bright light near Apple Bloom’s snout. “Wake up, sleepyhead.”

“Ngh... Ah was sleepin’, ya know.” She shifted.

“Food is ready,” Twilight said, putting out her light and nudging the little filly. “Rarity’s going to feed you some. It smells delicious.”

“Can’t she do that while Ah’m asleep?” Apple Bloom mumbled, turning away from Twilight.

Twilight laughed a bit. “Come on, it’s dinner in bed!”

Apple Bloom didn’t respond.

Twilight looked at Rarity. “Once you bring the food up, I’m sure she’ll jump at it.”

Rarity nodded. “She’s a lot better than she sounded earlier. I think she’ll be fine.”

“I hope so,” Twilight said. She went down to have dinner.

=====================================================================

It was safe to say that the Cutie Mark Crusaders, namely Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, ate more in one night than all of the others combined. So much was consumed that it even impressed Applejack, who was used to eating huge portions after a day out in the field.

I guess this is normal for teenagers, Twilight sighed to herself. She wasn’t actually too hungry; a bowl sufficed for her, and two bowls for Applejack and Dash, but Sweetie Belle had three and Scootaloo had four.

“And Ah thought there would be leftovers!” Applejack laughed.

“Nope,” Sweetie Belle mumbled, watching Scootaloo sip her last bowl.

“It was excellent,” Rarity said to Pinkie and Applejack.

“Well, it’s safe to say that Applejack’s the master of huge meals. I was actually going to make this half the size it is now,” Pinkie giggled. “Guess we know how that would’ve ended, huh?”

The others laughed. Scootaloo didn’t, but that was only because she had a bellyache.

Applejack looked at Scootaloo, a bit amused. The orange pegasus had gone to lie down, having eaten too much. Everypony knows not to eat so much at one time. Guess that’s something you have to learn the hard way. But I don’t blame her; two days without food and I’d be stuffing my face, too.

So, in general, it was uneventful. Apple Bloom looked like she was making a steady recovery, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were fed, and everypony was happy.

*******

Then Pinkie suddenly stood up, an unusually serious look on her face. Something’s wrong. Like really, really, super wrong. “Girls, there’s a problem. I can feel it.”

Pinkie felt little needles and pricks all throughout her body, like she was sitting on a cactus. The pain that spread throughout her body was so intense that she began to feel a bit dizzy; her Pinkie Sense was going out of control. This is the most pain that I’ve felt in my life! she thought, twitching a bit and scratching her leg. Applejack and the others looked at her, a bit frightened.

“What’s wrong, Pinkie?” Applejack asked.

Pinkie cringed; the pain was getting stronger. “Ow, ow! I think—We’re in danger, serious danger. Like life-or-death, mega-ultra-daredevil danger. Ouch!” she yelped, beginning to chase her tail around in a circle.

Sweetie Belle was a bit frightened. “What’s going on? I’m scared.”

Twilight stood up. Pinkie’s never been wrong with these things before... If she says we’re in danger, then I’m going to take that seriously. She went upstairs to grab Rarity quickly, but stopped to grab a kitchen knife first, in case she might need it. She tossed the weapon into her saddlebag.

“Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, you stay inside and protect Apple Bloom,” Twilight ordered after coming back downstairs. “Dash, could you check and see if there’s anything outside?”

Dash darted outside, and looked around. She didn’t expect to see the threat so quickly, but that was because she had seen her before.

It was Trixie.

She was a blue unicorn. Her mane and tail were a paler shade of that same color. She wore a purple, star-spangled cape and matching witch’s hat. From what Dash knew of her, she was an arrogant magician that had disappeared into the crowd as soon as her and her friends made her admit that she had been telling lies, and hadn’t been seen since.

However, there were a lot of things that were different about her now. One, she looked paler, and thinner. She had neither the confident aura she usually flaunted about nor the dominating presence that she, as a street performer and powerful magician, possessed twenty-four/seven. But her scariest feature was the shackles that hung from each of her limbs; they were ghostlike chains, each one only had a few links. They hung in midair as if they were underwater.

By the time Dash had taken all of this in, everypony was outside.

“T-Trixie?” Rarity asked. “What in Equestria has happened to you?”

Trixie took a deep breath, then exhaled. “If you want to live,” she began. “Run.”

*******

The group didn’t have to be told twice.

Dash took off across rooftops, along with Fluttershy. The others took off by hoof, Pinkie and Rarity going one direction, with Twilight and Applejack going another.

Trixie bent her head low and murmured, “Sorry, Twilight. I… I wish I had been stronger.” None of them heard this; they were too busy running.

Trixie’s horn began to glow, and the chains around her legs started to vibrate. They extended immeasurable lengths in almost a second, and Applejack soon saw chain links above her head. They plowed toward her, and because Applejack didn’t have a chance to react, she was tangled in the embrace of the chains and dragged backwards.

“Help!” Applejack screamed. Twilight looked back to see her friend being dragged back at almost the same speed she had been running.

Twilight summoned the full force of her magic and tore at the chains. They snapped in two like a rubber band. Trixie yelled in pain, but nopony paid attention.

“Move!” Twilight yelled to the dazed Applejack, who quickly got back on her feet.

Meanwhile, Dash and Fluttershy were trying to escape chains as well. They weren’t nearly as successful, however.

Dash tried to dodge in mid-air, but the chains were quicker. Two of them, working in unison, tangled Dash in an unbreakable grip. Dash screamed as she was slingshotted back toward the ground. Fluttershy broke her fall to some extent, but both pegasi spiraled toward the ground and landed with a dull thud near Trixie.

A chain tripped Pinkie and, while she was in mid-air, twirled around her leg and up her thigh. Pinkie grabbed onto a nearby fencepost, but had to let go; otherwise, the chain would have ripped her in half. She was the next to go down.

Twilight watched in horror as Trixie’s chains slowly engulfed the rest of her friends. It was all the purple mare could do to dodge them herself, batting them away with her telekinesis.

Rarity was next. With three chains on her, she really didn’t have many options. They tangled her up in a mess of wire, practically strangling her, and deposited her next to Pinkie, where she was promptly restrained.

Then Applejack. Twilight was busy with five chains; the sinister metal links seemed to be multiplying. Applejack couldn’t even fend off one. It shot behind her and wrapped itself around her back legs, flipping her over and dragging her away, earning Applejack a nasty brush-burn on her already chafed back.

Last was Twilight. She tried to tangle the chains together, anything that would buy her some time, but she couldn’t. It was too much. She was only one unicorn.

The chains wrapped around her with such efficiency that she was in a metal prison, only the tip of her snout showing. She felt herself flung up into the air, then land with an awful thud next to her friends.

*******

“I thought I said run!” Trixie sighed. She stomped the ground in defeat and yelled in frustration.

The group didn’t respond. Dash knew she at least had a broken leg, Applejack probably had a twisted ankle, and Fluttershy had a broken wing. Twilight would have nasty bruises tomorrow and Rarity felt her belly bleeding where it had been cut. Pinkie seemed to be the only one uninjured. The chains had restrained all of them, hooking them into the ground to the point where they couldn’t even move.

“Why, Trixie?” Twilight asked.

“Why?” Trixie asked. She laughed a bit. “Huh, that’s a good question. Maybe it’s because I was captured and enslaved. Ever think of that?!” she yelled. She bowed her head low in sadness, and a tear slid down her neck and to the ground. “The Great and Powerful Trixie, reduced to fighting against her own allies. And in such a barbaric way…”

“Can’t you… can’t you break free?” Pinkie asked.

“What a stupid question!” Trixie barked. “If I could, I would have already. You know that. You’re smart enough to know that…” Trixie was crying. “Why couldn’t I be stronger? I don’t want to do this, not when you’re so close to winning!”

Rainbow Dash looked up at her captor. She looks like she hates what she’s doing, but then why is she doing it?

“How were you enslaved?” Pinkie asked.

“I was looking for all of you!” Trixie yelled, her emotions taking a rollercoaster from sadness to anger to guilt. “I wanted to find you, so that you could save us. I was sent out by Luna herself. Princess Luna! That would have redeemed me in the eyes of everypony… but that’s not why I volunteered.”

“Then why?” Rarity asked.

“Because I saw a colt murdered, that’s why!” Trixie cried. “Snails was his name. He was one of my fans. He was ripped to pieces by the Daymare! I saw it with my own eyes, so I went looking for you all. You’re the only ones that can fix this. You’re the only ones that can save the world! Now look at you! You’re nothing!” she yelled through her tears. “The Daymare found me first. She cast a spell on me, and now… Now I have as little control over my actions as you do right now. I can’t move on my own; I can’t do anything! I’m pathetic! I’m weak!” she screamed, tears falling down her face.

Trixie was so passionate about this point that even Dash wanted to pity her. She was frustrated to begin with. Now she’s just a wreck.

“I didn’t want to find you,” Trixie continued, “but I did anyways. And now…” she laughed a bit out of sorrow. “Now, you’re all going to die! And it’ll be all my fault. All my fault… The Great and Powerful Trixie ending the world that was supposed to be her oyster from birth.”

I want to say that there’s still a chance that she could break free, Twilight thought, but Trixie knows magic well enough that, if there was a loophole, she would have found one already.

That didn’t stop Applejack from asking, however. “Can’t ya break free? Don’t tell me you’ve given up!”

“You think I haven’t tried?!” Trixie screeched in Applejack’s face. “I’ve spent all my waking hours trying to break free! Now it’s all over, and I couldn’t beat her...” Trixie cried a river, so much that it made the ground beneath her moist. “I couldn’t beat her! I couldn’t!”

“What are you waiting for?” Fluttershy mumbled. “Just kill us now, and g-get it over with.”

“No,” Trixie mumbled. “Envy wants to meet you personally. I can’t kill you. Not yet.”

As if on cue, there was a dark flash of black nearby.

It was a black portal in the ground; a swirling mass of dark energy that made Twilight’s horn buzz. Rarity’s horn was irritating her as well in response to this new magic, making both unicorns’ heads rattle.

A young unicorn stepped out of the ground, as if she had been walking up stairs. She was a dark turquoise unicorn, her mane an extremely pale cyan, almost white. It was braided, hanging about down to her neck. Her cutie mark was of a fiendish-looking harp. Her pale yellow eyes with daggerlike pupils widened upon seeing the Elements of Harmony.

She looked like Lyra.

“L-Lyra?” Pinkie asked.

The unicorn laughed. “You couldn’t be farther from the truth,” she remarked. She glanced at Trixie. “Very nice hoofdiwork. I would have preferred more blood, but since you cut up Generosity, I suppose I can let it slide.”

Trixie only whimpered, hanging her head in an effort not to meet the unicorn’s gaze.

“Who are you?” Twilight asked. “What are you?”

“Who am I?” the unicorn asked. “Well, I suppose you could say I’m Nightmare Moon.”

“You’re kidding,” Dash scoffed. “You don’t look anything like Nightmare Moon.”

“Oh, but it goes much farther than just looks, Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty,” the unicorn explained. “However, if you want to be specific, my name is Envy. The sixth Element of Discord.”

You could almost hear the group’s jaws hitting the floor.

Envy laughed, and motioned to Trixie. “You can let them go, now. They won’t cause any trouble.”

Trixie nodded, and the chains around Twilight and the others receded back into their creator, who stepped behind the group.

“There are Elements of Discord?!” Fluttershy asked. “B-But…”

“Oh, now I’m much scarier, aren’t I?” Envy cackled, circling the group. “Though I can’t say I’m surprised. Nightmare Moon was mostly Luna. I couldn’t control her as properly as I control this body.”

“What have you done with Lyra?” Dash asked menacingly.

“Lyra? Well, let’s see,” Envy said. “She was a very nice young unicorn. Very pretty. She had a nice personality, a best friend, and great support from the rest of the community. She really felt at home in Ponyville, I’m sure. She had everything going for her; an education, a job, and she was probably looking for a lifetime partner. But I don’t envy her. No, not at all.”

“Why not?” Rarity asked.

“Because… she’s dead,” Envy finished, her chilly gaze piercing through the group.

Twilight’s heart turned to stone. The others had similar reactions; even Dash was speechless.

“She was killed to order, actually,” Envy continued, pacing around the stunned group of friends. “I prefer a special quality of body; typically I go male, but I chose female for a change of pace. Lyra fit all of my standards. Once she was dead, I forced my way into the shell that was left behind, and, well, rearranged it.”

“Monster!” Pinkie yelled. “Lyra was our friend!”

“Keyword there, was,” Envy pointed out. “Now she is only a memory. I believe her friend BunBun was quite upset, but I didn’t stick around long enough to find out.”

“Her name is Bonbon!” Dash screeched. The blue pegasus flew at Envy, but a force field blocked her path.

“Patience, Loyalty,” Envy said, smirking. “Wait your turn.”

Twilight thought for a moment, examining her options. She didn’t have many. But why is she just talking to us? Why hasn’t she killed us already? Twilight asked herself. Her eyes widened suddenly and then narrowed.

Using telekinesis, Twilight slowly drew the kitchen knife she had picked up earlier and pointed it at Envy.

Envy laughed. “What, you’re sending a kitchen knife after me? How crude,” she remarked.

“I may not be able to hurt you,” Twilight growled, pointing the sharp end of the knife at her chest. “But I can hurt myself.”

“Pardon?” Envy asked.

“Twi, Ah’m not followin’,” Applejack said, a bit worried.

“There’s only two reasons why you would have kept us alive until this point,” Twilight continued slowly, glancing backwards in case Trixie tried anything. “Either us dying would hurt you, or it would mess up your plans. If you don’t leave now, I swear I will plunge this thing six inches into my chest!”

“Twilight!” Fluttershy exclaimed in shock.

“You’re bluffing,” Envy laughed. “You don’t have the guts to pull a stunt like that. Give me some credit.”

Twilight only glared at her. It took a great deal of willpower, but Twilight slowly began to sink the blade into her chest. “Stay back,” she snapped at her friends when they ran up to stop her. This might be our only chance of survival.

Envy paused, and stared at the rapidly increasing blood flow coming from Twilight’s chest. It was agonizing, but Twilight continued while retaining a straight face. Her will to keep her friends alive overpowered her pain, and she could see that it was working. It took all of her concentration to stay conscious, but Envy was looking less sure by the second.

“You can’t be serious…” Envy muttered. She raised her voice a bit. “You know what happens if you die, Twilight.”

Twilight didn’t answer, but continued pushing the blade toward her rapidly beating heart.

Envy scowled. “Trixie, let’s go. They want to take the coward’s way out.”

Trixie looked up in shock, but smiled once she realized that the side of Discord had lost. She nodded.

Envy and Trixie disappeared, as if they were never there.

*******

Twilight gasped and pulled the knife out of her chest. It had penetrated at least two inches, and blood was rushing from the wound. She fell unconscious within seconds.

“Twilight!” Pinkie exclaimed, trying to catch the dying mare. The others rushed over, as well.

Fluttershy put pressure on the wound in an effort to seal it, but the injury was too large. “Get Sweetie Belle!” she yelled to Rarity.

“Huh?” Rarity asked. “Why?”

“Her ability!” Fluttershy yelled. We can’t save Twilight without it!

Rarity dashed inside and found Sweetie Belle with Scootaloo in Apple Bloom’s room. “Hurry outside, Sweetie Belle, we need you!”

“Huh?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Just go!” Scootaloo said, realizing the seriousness of the situation and pushing the confused Sweetie Belle off the bed.

Outside, Twilight’s blood had formed a small pool on the ground that was rapidly growing. Sweetie Belle looked at the frantic situation in shock, not sure what to do.

“Please, Sweetie Belle, use your ability!” Fluttershy begged, pushing on the unicorn’s wound. The others had cleared away, and Rarity was trying to seal the wound with her telekinesis, but blood was dripping out of the corners anyway. Twilight had become pale, and her pelt felt cold to the touch.

“Uh…!” Sweetie Belle said. She felt like she was in a nightmare, her heart rate accelerating in response to the panic of the situation. She bent down near Twilight and tried to sing.

“Hush-a-bye, d-don’t you c-c-c…” she stammered. The young mare started to cry. “I can’t; I just can’t! Twilight’s going to die, a-and it’s all my fault…”

Fluttershy was panicking. She only had one thing going through her mind: HELP! She blinked in realization. “Calm down, Sweetie Belle,” she said calmly, but with authority. She rubbed Sweetie Belle’s back in an effort to get her to settle. “The bleeding’s not that bad.”

The young teen opened her eyes and sniffled. The others didn’t dare argue about what Fluttershy was saying, but for a more behind-the-scenes reason.

“You have as much time as you need to sing,” Fluttershy soothed. “Don’t be scared.”

Sweetie Belle nodded, and wiped her eyes. Calming down, she began to sing clearly and with a passionate voice. “Hush-a-bye, don’t you cry…”

As she sang, Twilight’s wound began to seal up. The blood flow vanished, and Twilight’s rapidly beating heart slowed. Twilight’s pelt regained its color and warmth. By the time the song was finished, she was fully recovered and had gently fallen asleep.

Sweetie Belle was shaken, to say the least, but Scootaloo gave her a big hug in order to ease the trauma. “You did great,” she whispered as she led her friend indoors.

Pinkie walked over to Fluttershy once the others had carried Twilight inside. “Where did that come from, Fluttershy?”

“I think… I think that Obsidian and Verba helped me,” Fluttershy confessed. “I would never have been able to do that on my own.”

Pinkie leaned in close and looked at Fluttershy’s chest. “Thanks!” she chirped.

“You’re welcome,” Fluttershy said. She blinked. “Um, why did I…?”

Pinkie laughed. “C’mon, Fluttershy. Let’s get some sleep.”

After Sweetie Belle had healed the others as well with a group song, the Elements of Harmony had their first night’s sleep in the real world.

=====================================================================

*******

Twilight gasped, her eyes flying open. She flailed her limbs, finding herself suspended in empty space. However, this space wasn’t black like during Obsidian’s test; it was a soft, gray color with a watery texture. Still, this peaceful atmosphere didn’t make Twilight panic any less as she grasped for a hoofhold.

“Woah, woah! Take it easy,” she heard a voice laugh. “Jeez Louise, are you fidgety! Let’s get this straightened out, huh?”

Gravity kicked in, and Twilight’s hooves abruptly landed on a gray rock face. She shook her head. “Verba?”

“Yessum?” Verba asked, though his form wasn’t clearly visible. It was a myriad of flashing, undefined lights that dotted the space surrounding Twilight.

“Where are you?” Twilight asked, looking around.

“Well, I’m with you in spirit,” Verba began, “but my connection isn’t so good here. Envy’s magic is blocking me a little bit, so I can’t fully form right now.”

“Well, then... Where am I?” she asked. Wisps of white fluff were weaving through the air daintily, and waves of gray light washed over the horizon like the ocean on a breezy day.

“Glad you asked! I kinda dragged your consciousness into your dreams. Since you haven’t dreamt up anything just yet, it’s a little empty,” Verba explained. “It gets kind of boring here when you’re awake, and I wanted company for a little while. That alright?”

“You exist in my dreams?” Twilight asked. It’s so calm here... I should be asking a lot more questions, but none really come to mind.

“Well, sorta,” Verba said. “See, I’m a part of your mind. I try my best to guide you through life, help you make good decisions, pick your first date, the whole deal. I can’t really overrule what you want, but as long as you wear your crown, you’ll find yourselves making better choices, y’know, for the most part. I’m not perfect.”

“Oh, okay,” Twilight said, beginning to drift off.

“Leaving already, huh?” Verba chuckled. “I’m not surprised. Most mortals find it hard to even stay awake a few seconds here. You’ll get better in time, trust me.”

Twilight yawned, nodding. “Hey, Verba?”

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Am... Am I dead?” Twilight asked.

She expected laughter from Verba at such a question, but she didn’t even receive a chuckle. After a long pause, Verba said, “You came close, Twilight. You came pretty darn close. Be careful, though, because you won’t get that lucky ever again.”

Twilight didn’t hear the last part. She was fast asleep.

=====================================================================

[Note]: I do not own anything in this story that already belongs to someone else.
This entire storyline takes place BEFORE season two, but AFTER season one.

Comments

[bradhadair12]

Envy referred to Dash as "Generosity". Was that intended?

Other than that flow-breaker I enjoyed this. Adding Trixie always makes a story better

[Apocalypse Pony]

5322

Nonono, The chains had wounded Rarity along her stomach, Envy pointed out that blood was drawn from Generosity. She was talking about Rarity

[CluelessDetective]

I almost cried. Twilight's my favorite pony and if she died I would've just gave up reading it.
Bravo good sir bravo!!!!
You made sure I didn't stop reading!

[Balancer]

Way to go twilight

[Molotov Delivery]

you should've given me another excuse to listen to the hush-a-bye song, like implementing it into the music, but you didn't. Boo. Otherwise, awesome, and Twilight was epic.. keep up the great work.

[Blazing Dawn]

5322

Actually Rainbow Dash broke her leg, while Rarity had her belly cut.

[Starcat5]

Lyra is... DEAD!?!?

I stand corrected, Balancer. You were RIGHT about the Zombies. *Head Desk*

[LastOfLancas]

Just a few suggestions/comments:
1) To me, Verba sounds like Axel (for obvious line few chapters back) and Obsidian sounds like Terra/Xemnas. Envy sounds like Larxene/Malevolent. Not sure if that's a good thing or not.
2) Would it be possible if you used OSTs other than KH series? Just asking. I mean the series is good and accompanied sections are also good, but would be great if there's more variation, y'know.
3) Good pacing, so far. Keep up the good work.

[Mindblower]

173756
174408
Finding good music is harder than you'd think. It's all about setting the mood and unifying themes without having lyrics or in-your-face melodies getting in the way. If you have any suggestions, though, feel free to shoot me a message! I agree that I use far too much Kingdom Hearts music.

[YourPrivateNightmare]

Wow,...impressed, but seriously, this needs a "Dark" tag. Definitely, since Trixie mentioned the death of Snails.

[deathtap]

By threatening to kill herself, they win?

I sense foreshadowing here...

[Dante Kami]

JEEZ THAT WAS CLOSE.