• Published 10th Jan 2013
  • 4,630 Views, 673 Comments

Buck My Life - JasontheDemon



Yes, I am a brony... the rare kind that DOESN'T WANT TO BE STUCK IN EQUESTRIA! This story is one about me, my life, and my overwhelming desire to return back to where I belong. But the longer I stay, the more my resolve weakens.

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Twilight's stand

Twilight's stand

“Forget me?! Okay! Sure! JUST FORGET ME! FORGET ALL ABOUT ME! FORGET I EVEN EXISTED!” Jason turned and stomped towards the door as he said, “Come on Discord, were leaving.”

After slamming the door behind him, I just broke down. I cried like I never had before, even more than when I was a filly and lost Smarty Pants. He was always a bit grumpy and could sometimes be mean to me, but this... this was just not like him. I couldn’t deny that I liked him more than a friend. He was pessimistic, yet within that he was sincere, profound, and wise. He spoke like a philosopher and talked about life in a way that made you think. His views on kindness and friendship were what I really loved about him. He would say things like ‘kindness is a two way street, when you are kind to others it comes back to you’ or ‘true friends are those who never ask you to change because they love you as you are’. Through all the ‘crap’ as he put it, he was pure of spirit... but he never saw himself as anything but cruel. Now I was beginning to think he was right.



The way he shouted and said all those things. It was horrible. Not only did he claim that I wasn’t real, he also said that the princess didn’t care about me. That was what hurt the most. The way he said she would have not cared if I died. That wasn’t true! I knew her far more than he did! What made him think he could say such things about her?! No, he had no right... but what if he was right? What if he was telling the truth? Sure he kept thing from me, but as far as I could tell he never lied before so what chance was there that he would lie to me now? And for that matter why would he have reason to lie?

While I was sitting in the middle of the room in thought, Spike returned from his walk with Vlad. Jason hadn’t spent too much time with him since we returned from Canterlot. It didn’t make sense before, but now I knew it was so Vlad wouldn’t get attached to him any further than he already was. He left us both, but spared the bat heartache...

“Twilight I’m ba- oh not you too! It seems like everypony is upset today. First Fluttershy, then Dusk, and now you. All this sadness is starting to bum me out.” Spike said as Vlad flew to my side in worry.

“I’m sorry Spike its just that... wait, did you say Dusk was sad?” I asked wiping my eyes.

“Yeah, it was weird. I bumped into him in the street and it was like he didn’t even notice. He just kept walking. It was like he was a zombie pony or something. He didn’t even call me ‘mailbox’, what’s up with that?”

I was about to ask what he thought was the matter but I changed my mind. I didn’t need to care about him anymore if he didn’t care about me... right? No, I am right! I know I am! He was leaving and it was completely fine with me. I don’t want him and his bad attitude around anymore... but there was still the question, why was he sad? If he meant everything he said, why would he be upset? Who was the real Jason? The calm, thoughtful stallion... or the fierce, bitter one?

I went up to my room away from Spike to think some more... and cry. It was like every stallion who I started to have feelings for broke my heart or turned into some complete jerk. First it was Written Script, then the earth pony Noteworthy (mom and dad were not happy with that), after that it was Pokey Pierce, and now it was Jason. The strange thing was that out of all the ponies I dated, not a single one was like him. He didn’t even try to be anything but himself, which was a brash, insolent, wisecracking, offensive stallion... and somehow that's what made him great.

He wasn’t afraid of what anypony thought of him. He was brutally honest and sincere, no matter who was present and listening. He was also gentle and caring even if he didn’t see it. He thought of others before himself and did what he thought was right, not what he was told. He put the life of another before his own and believed everypony deserved to live a full life that he constantly denied himself. He made you laugh even if he didn’t mean to through smart aleck comments and witty retorts. He was like an odd combination of every element of harmony except one... the magic of friendship.

Jason was the loneliest pony I had ever seen. He told me that he only had two friends in his world, but it was even worse than that. His friends never saw him and didn’t seem to care how he felt, so in reality he was all alone. I once felt sorry for him but now I wasn’t sure I still did. How was it that he could make you feel sorry and upset at the same time?

At that moment, something grabbed my attention. It was the painting he made. I pulled it from the wall above my bed and looked at it. The picture gave me mixed feelings of joy and sorrow. He said he didn’t make it for me, but that wasn’t the point. The point was he was thinking of me while he made it and that made me smile.

“You like him, don’t you?”

I looked over to see Spike. I didn’t know how long he had been watching and was about to scold him for spying but he was worried about me and that was reason enough to check on me.

“I thought I did...” I responded sadly.

“Don’t give me that. Ponies say the crush I have on Rarity is obvious, but I've got nothing on you two. As much as I wish it wasn’t true, you’re in love with him. I know the signs and you guys are totally head over hoof for each other.”

“He does not like me the same way... he made that perfectly clear earlier.” I said solemnly. Spike was confused and asked what happened. I told him all about how Jason snapped and started yelling, what he said... including how we were ‘fake’ and Celestia wasn’t the kind protector we all believed her to be. Spike was upset at some of it but not anywhere near like I had been. We sat in silence for a short time after I was done.

Suddenly Spike spoke up and quietly said, “Twilight... I don’t think he meant it. I think he was trying to make you happy.”

“HOW?! By saying I was only keeping him around for selfish purposes and friendship didn’t exist?! By saying I didn’t exist?! How was what he said supposed to make me happy!?!” I shouted with new tears welling up in my eyes.

“By keeping you away. Hasn't that always been his reason? You told me yourself that he told you to forget him, but last week he told me something while you were sick. I thought it was weird at the time but he said he ‘didn’t know if he would be the same guy next week’. I think he knew that this was coming and he didn’t want you to be sad when he left.”

Spike was growing up faster than I thought. For him to figure out what was right in front of me before I could told me he was no longer that baby dragon I hatched all those years ago. I had no doubt he was right. I couldn’t get him out of my head... I was in love. I gave Spike a hug and began to head downstairs.

“Where are you going?” he asked looking down at me from the staircase.

I smiled and chipperly replied, “I’m going to stop him before its too late! You were absolutely right Spike and I can’t let him leave now. However I will need a little help convincing him to stay... Vlad!”

The bat clinging to the ceiling overheard everything that was said and quickly flew down to thank me with a series of screeches and squeaks. I thought that if I wasn’t enough to change his mind about staying then he wouldn’t be able to resist Vlad with his trademark pout. As strange as it was, his beady black eyes and fangs that would protrude slightly from his mouth was too cute when he would look up at you with that quivering bottom lip. We were the two who Jason was most attached to, so it stood to reason that this was our best shot. After Vlad situated himself on my back, I opened the front door to leave... but I was greeted by a familiar bright light.

Standing before me was Princess Celestia. She never came without notice unless something was wrong and I could tell that something was indeed very wrong. Her grim expression and breathlessness told me that disaster had struck. I hadn’t seen her this frightened since... well, ever.

“Princess?! What are you doing here?! Has something happened?” I asked nervously, backing up to let her inside.

Entering the library, she replied, “It’s Discord. He’s up to his old tricks again... and this time he has help.”

I gasped and asked, “Help?! From who?! Is it Queen Chrysalis!? Or King Sombra!?!”

Celestia sighed and quietly said, “...No... it’s Dusk. He has started to corrupt the land near Canterlot. He is using some form of chaotic magic to spread anger and darkness. There are few ponies who can resist the evil force and they are cruelly lashing out at one another. Right now it is only effecting the ponies in Canterlot, but I fear if it keeps spreading, we won't be able to stop it.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. Jason would never do something like that! The princess must have been joking.

I laughed half heartedly. “That’s funny Princess, what’s really going on?”

“I am not kidding, Twilight... we need to gather the elements to-”

“I AM NOT GOING TO USE THE ELEMENTS AGAINST MY FRIEND!” I snapped suddenly, surprising even myself. Princess Celestia and I were struck silent for a time because of my outburst. I had never yelled at her like that. The quiet gave me time to think and I remembered that there were a few things I wanted to ask her.

“Princess...?” I said quietly.

“Yes?”

“Are we real?”

Celestia jerked her head back and blinked a few times in confusion before asking, “Whatever makes you say that?”

“Before Jason left, he said we weren’t real. He said that we were just something humans made up.” I said, my gaze facing down in sadness.

“Oh... I am sorry to say this, but in his world, we are just make believe...”

My heart sank. Did this mean that our lives meant nothing? That we were only here because we were some kind of children's entertainment? Before I could start spiralling into depression, Princess Celestia pulled me out of the dark place in my mind.

“However, in our world he is the one that is fake. In the Crystal Empire Library, there is a book... a book about humans. It is a fictional tale of strange creatures and a strange dangerous world. This is how things work. Whatever is made up or fantasized is real in another plane of existence. Do you remember that little book you wrote about that living star race?”

I nodded as I began to understand what she was telling me.

“That civilization of living stars exists. You may never see them but they are out there and you imagined them because their reality had a connection with your heart. Ideas of fantasy are the endless possibilities of everything reaching out to you through the thin layer of existence.”

What she told me left me speechless. The wisdom she held was astonishing. To think that every story was based on truth whether it was fiction or not, it was just mind-blowing. Everything existed, yet it only existed because we imagined it and it imagined us! My head was spinning from the grandeur of it all, but I still had one more question.

“Okay, there is one more thing I need to know...” I said looking up at my mentor with a soulful, yet serious stare. “Were you going to let the dragon back at the palace eat me? Were you going to just let me die?”

All I got in return was a pained look. I couldn’t believe it was true. I wanted to scream just to let out some of my pain. The Princess was like a mother to me for so many years that it seemed impossible, however I found out what she was really like and I felt betrayed. My eyes started to tear up yet again, but I gritted my teeth and bursted out the door running as fast as I could, trying desperately to run from my sorrow. Celestia called out for me but I didn’t stop, I just kept running. I couldn’t let her see me cry and I couldn’t let her manipulate me into hurting Jason with the Elements of Harmony.

I galloped all the way to the edge of town and then I saw it... the dark clouds and ravaged land that seemed to be spreading near Canterlot. Looking upon it sent a chill down my spine. I could barely see it from this far away but it was by far the most terrifying thing I had ever witnessed.

As I shook from the fear of the calamitous scene, Celestia spoke and being unaware that she had already caught up startled me for a moment. “Now do you see why you must stop this?”

I thought for a few second and shaking my head, I replied, “No... I don’t see why. I don’t understand why we have to save Equestria time after time. I didn’t notice until Jason and I spoke one day about it, but you have never taken part in saving your own kingdom, and... and... I’M TIRED OF IT! Why does it come down to us?! I know we are the Elements of Harmony, but that doesn’t make it right for you to sit back and do nothing!”

Celestias expression softened and she turned away as if in shame.

“I knew this day would come”, she said, her voice barely over a whisper. “I just wish it had come at a better time. I am truly sorry for all I have put you through my faithful student, but I had no choice. I... I no longer have the power to aid in the bigger tasks I give to you. Both my and Luna's power came from the Elements. When I sealed Nightmare Moon away, it took a sacrifice... I had to relinquish ownership of the Elements and break our connection with them.

“Nearly one thousand years later, I saw signs of great and terrible forces coming to power. At the same time I saw something that signaled the coming of the six bearers of harmony. I am not proud of what I have set upon the shoulders of you and your friends, and I pray that you can forgive me for throwing you all into the middle of this...”

I was stunned. The thought of my great and powerful teacher being reduced to needing my help in order to keep everypony safe was unbelievable to say the least. I always saw her as this ultimate power that ruled over all with her limitless ability and magic, but now she seemed so helpless and scared. I was scared too, but not for myself or Equestria. I was scared for her. I had no idea how awful it must of felt to put your hope in everypony else when disaster struck. To keep faith in the bleakest situations was commendable... however it didn’t excuse the fact that she had hid all this from me for who knows how long. I felt sympathy, yet at the same time betrayal. I trusted the princess with my life but she didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth. However that was something that could be discussed at a later time, right now I needed to figure out what to do.

Discord was no doubt at the bottom of everything, and knowing him, he had more than just one trick up his sleeve. Somehow Jason was involved but I was sure it wasn’t as black and white as Celestia said. It may have seemed like I wasn’t doing much over the past two months but I was actually building up a personality chart of him since day one. I now had a fairly good understanding how he worked, and although he was very complex and seemed to contradict himself at times, I knew that he would never purposely harm another without very good reason. He never hurt anypony except that one thief in the street that one time. Gilda was tricked into hurting herself and the dragon at the palace was just put to sleep.

Something about this whole mess smelled fishy. I was never going to stop anything if I just thought about it so I started walking.

“Where are you going?” Celestia asked, coming up beside me.

“I am going to fix everything...” I replied.

“But what of the other Elements? Don’t tell me that you are going alone!”

“I am... I want to show you what a single pony can do with just a little bit of determination. Plus, I don’t like endangering those I care about... do you?” I asked turning around to face her with a glare. She momentarily flinched and then sighed.

“No... you are right. I shouldn’t put the lives of others on the line so carelessly. You are shaping out to be a more benevolent leader than even I.” The princess said, showing her motherly smile as she often did when she was proud. “But do you think it is wise to bring him along if it is so dangerous?”

My eyes followed to where her hoof was pointing on my back. I completely forgot about Vlad. He was riding along with me the whole time, and by the looks of it he was still exhausted from clinging to me for his dear life while I was galloping at top speed here. I blushed and levitated his limp panting body over to Celestia.

“He doesn’t seem to have much endurance.” Celestia said looking at the poor thing as he struggled to catch his breath.

“Blame Jason. He feeds him way too much junk food.” I said, trying to keep my aggravation from showing. I turned once again towards my destination but before I could get going, I was interrupted.

“Before you leave, can you enlighten me on something? I am curious as to why you still refer to him by his previous name.”

Without turning to face her, I took a deep breath, lifted my head to feel the breeze in my face, and said, “Its not who he is, its who I wanted him to be. I wanted to have a nice stallion to be there for me and tell me I was everything to him. Somepony with a name that accented mine and loved me so much I would forget all about my faults, but that's not love...”

Celestia chuckled lightly, “So that’s why you don’t want to hurt him... I understand now. You have been learning of something far more advanced than magic without my knowledge and I am glad you have. You will need it’s power just to survive this. I suppose all I can say at this point is good luck and be careful. Oh and one more thing...”

I groaned, getting tired of waiting around, and looked back at her, “What now?”

* * * * * *

Before I could even blink I was teleported to the bottom of a rather steep cliff near what seemed to be the epicentre of the dark magic that was changing everything. I realized that it must have been Princess Celestia who got me here. I was gratefull that I didn’t have to run the whole way or waste magic in teleporting myself, especially since it was going to take everything I had to stop Discord alone.

I took a few steps back to take in the immensity of the cliff face, but as I did, I stepped on something. I looked at my back hoof and took hold of what I had nearly broke. As I looked at it, my heart was gripped with fear and uncertainty. It was Jason's glasses! They were bent from where I had stepped on them, but they were indeed his. I never saw him go anywhere without them, so what were they doing out here, discarded like garbage? My mind instantly went to the worst case scenario, however I had learned over time that doing that was the worst thing I could do and snapped myself out of it.

“He’s fine! Nothing can stop him! There is nothing to worry about!” I shouted to myself, but convincing nopony. Once again I looked up the sheer rock face and gulped. ‘Twilight, what have you gotten yourself into this time?’ I thought looking at what appeared to be rips in the sky with red lightning shooting out. Black spikes with red thorns were scattered everywhere. It looked like they just bursted through the ground and served no purpose other than looking scary, but something told me they were actually what was draining the land of it’s life.

I shook my head and reminded myself that I wasn’t here to look at the (dreadful) scenery. I used a spell that I came up with while studying spiders. It was able to give my hooves a special electrical charge to grip onto surfaces on a molecular level. Spiders used many microscopic hairs to create something like a static charge that allowed them to stick to anything, I just changed it so I put out the same effect.

* * * * * *

It took a while but I eventually made it to the top and released the spell. I found what looked like a castle at the top of the cliff, but what got me was that it used to be in ruins. Now it appeared to be brand new with a pair of wooden double doors and everything. I only came to this place once as a filly during a field trip but I know it wasn’t in this good condition. The castle was supposed to be over a thousand years old, and even if they tried to keep it maintained, time wears down all things. This had Discord written all over it... not literally but you know what I mean.

I slowly pushed open the doors and peered inside expecting something dramatic like a monster jumping out of the shadows to attack me or maybe an explosion or something. I waited for something to happen for a few moments but decided I should at least go inside before letting my fears get the best of me.

As I walked down the dark hall of the castle, something struck me as a bit odd... there were no turns. I was walking straight but it seemed like I was going in circles. I began to quicken my pace, hoping that I would get somewhere. A few minutes went by and I began to panic, increasing my speed yet again to a gallop. I ran and ran but I just kept seeing the same thing... endless hallway with columns on both sides of me.

At that moment I stopped abruptly. I looked at one of the marble columns and walked towards it. I turned and gave it a quick buck. A crack appeared on the on it and I was satisfied. I continued to run and found that I passed the same cracked pillar every two minutes and thirty-four seconds. I put my average running speed into account and discovered that the hallway was about 1,868 feet long before it looped.

I went back and sure enough, I came to the entrance rather quickly. I started walking back inside and counted my steps. I calculated my distance per step and stopped right before I got to the point where it would place me back at the beginning. I stretched out a hoof and it vanished as though it was immersed in some invisible liquid. It was a portal spell and now that I found it I could take it down. However, before I could break it, it started to fade by itself.

Frustrated by the trickery, I shouted. “I don’t know what you are planning Discord, but when I get a hold of you I will-!”

I stopped my threat as I began to hear laughter... eerie, psychotic, and demented laughter. It wasn’t Discord’s laughter and it gave me chills. It seemed to move around me, yet no matter where I looked, I saw nothing. Then after I thought it couldn’t get more creepy, I heard his voice... Jason’s voice. He started singing a song by the tune of ‘pop goes the weasel'’... but with different words.

“All around the castle, Twilight looked for Jason, but he is no longer sane, YOU CAME FOR NOTHING! HA HA HA HA HA!”

Afraid out of my mind, I began to back up, but I bumped into something... or I guess you could say somepony.

“Can I kill her now Master Discord?!”

Walking out behind Jason was Discord.“Please be more patient my apprentice, we will get to that in due time. I’m sorry about his behavior but when you are raising the new embodiment of chaos, what can you do?”, He said shrugging.