Just wanted to give some thanks to everybody who stuck with this story. Writing this was a long, wonderful, and painful journey for me- but I feel vindicated for sticking with it. I've thought about it, and this will NOT be my last story. When will my next story come out? Well, who knows? But it will come. I also might write some bonus endings to this, if I feel like I have reason. Many, many thanks! P.S. This story did not go in the direction I imagined it going at all when I first started writing it. It was originally going to be a sort of harem clop, but I'm really glad I moved away from that. But now that I feel like I'm a better writer, I might atempt that in the future. Who knows. P.P.S. I listened to Fluttershy's Rapshody by ColaEuphoria, Micheal Bolton, Ne-Yo, and Metallica when I wrote this. Favorites include- Go The Distace, Mad, Master of Puppets, Closer. I'm a weird guy. Okay, I'm done now, for real.
Also really glad to hear that this wont be your last fic, I remember you mentioning this would have been the last. Good to know I'll have more too look forward too. Thanks for this and all the best in everything you do!
Wow... That was amazing. Thanks for finishing this, Jace.
750734 I like the idea for an "Alternate ending". For the harem clop, I mean. Because honestly, I think everyone here was expecting that, including me.
750734 I've been following this story since the beginning and I must say it turned out to be one of my favorites. Just a week ago I got this urge to re-read this but I couldn't find it I didn't even know about the previous update. On rambling am I. I just wanted to say this story AWESOME! You sir/madam have earned a follower.
I really loved this ending. I really did, it was beautiful and it made me smile.
On a personal note, you stated in your last chapter you would end up with who you want. Now I took that as an option that you could pick the girl that you wanted. Now I am not mad about that, only it was slightly disappointing that we couldn't see how another relationship would've turned out. But like I said, this ending felt good and more importantly, it felt right751597
After, or even in the middle of each chapter - including this one - I found myself imagining what would've happened if another relationship had been chosen, or even, what could potentially happen in the future of this universe; for example, Fluttershy said the reader would always have her. What if something happened between the reader and Dash, and that statement came into question or effect despite her being with Big Mac?
I believe that if a story can make me pause while I'm reading it, or once I've finished reading it, to imagine different or possible outcomes, it means that I'm totally immersed in an excellent story.
I've been following this since the beginning and I've loved every chapter of it. It's brilliant.
Don't know why I didn't have you on watch before, but I do now.
Great to see this story wrapped up, and I gotta say that I loved the ending. Like TimbukTurnip said: "Don't know why I didn't have you on watch before, but I do now." Definitely keeping my eyes open for if you write up any great stories like you did this one. Congratz
The final part of this story was damn well worth it. I was expecting a longer and more in depth scene when Dash and the main character finally do come together, but I glad it is what it is. A longer sexual scene could have ruined the entire mood this story was trying to set and it is certainly better for it. The ending also left me with a good feeling and more or less of a sequel wanting rage. Even if there isn't a sequel, it is still an amazing story that ended in absolutely an amazing way.
Thanks for finishing this, I really did enjoy reading it.
Powerful stuff there, not too much, not diverging off into a lot of what would be pretty useless stuff in relation to the actual story. But most importantly it reminded me a lot of how I used to write and how I used to see the world.
There's a lot of hope in this story, and a lot of escapism, but at the same time, a lot of desire to be better because you know you need to be.
The writing's fine though, just so's you know, maybe have an editor (like me, for example, I do that) give you a proof read to pick up the occasional phrasing or spelling errors. And the other thing you could benefit from on your next one is a more solid story construct; give yourself a start, middle and end point to work to so that your mind doesn't wander in the mean time (also helps with writer's block; if you can't get one bit right, then having a plan means you can move on and write a later bit until it gives you ideas about how to bridge that gap you've created).
But in the end, when all my advice is exhausted, I just want to say thankyou again, this was a story that I really wanted to see you finish, an epilogue I wanted to read, a conclusion that I wanted to reach. Well done, that author, well done indeed
I'll admit. I was a tad skeptical when I read the synopsis for this when it first came out. But good lord, I am glad I stuck with it. A crazy roller-coaster of emotions and beautiful backstories made for a helluva good fic. Keep up the good work, my comrade.
I have waited for this, AND YOU DELIVERED! How about for a bonus chapter, you write one big chapter that is a complete harem clop with everyone(maybe even Mac)! IT WOULD BE AWSOME!
Glad to hear it's only your first. You're a great writer and I expect great things. Speaking personally? I wouldn't mind a few bonus endings including a special harem ending. All in all though, well done and beautifully written story all around my friend! VERY well done, and congratulations. Hats off, indeed, to you.
When I first saw this fic I thought it was going to be the kind of fic where "you" get all the girls. I am so glad I was wrong. Great work with this story man. Looking forward to more work from you.
Oh God... This was beautiful... I never EVER fucking say this, because I think it is cheesy as fuck; buut.... Manly fucking tears, were manly fucking shed.
750734 through thick and thin I stuck with it friend from the day this story was published and it was beautiful easily one of the greatest fics of my time of reading it was a blast and good luck friend with many other fics you will probably write and if you consider doing that then were all with you
This was the most passionate fic I've ever read. It had more emotion in it than anything I've ever read, including in published works. Sure, some master writers like C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien, Shakespeare, Paulo Coelho and the like have written works of immeasurable depth and quality, but I've never experienced emotion of this magnitude of anything I've ever read, and I've read a lot of books, and a lot of fics. Not even the poetry I have read, or written myself, comes close to the raw emotion here.
I can feel the emotion in your words and the personal pain and toil that you clearly have experienced for yourself in every word. Just after reading this I can feel deep empathy towards you, and all I can say is I send my love to you. I know that you cannot fake what you have written. I know this as I feel the same pain you do, the same desperate longing for love. The same lack of self-esteem, regardless of the knowledge of your own value... I better stop now, as I'm starting to cry here.
Edit: Oh, and, one song to describe this: Nothing Else Matters by Metallica
The fact that this was supposed to be a harem clop story makes sense to me, if only because it's all pittering about with no actual direction and each chapter could pretty much be a self contained story...
That said though it was well written and I enjoyed it.
I was able to relate to the point I was questioning myself....
I think I legitimately need to change some things about myself now, that was amazing. The whole story was just amazing. The little velvet case at the end made it for me.
I rather enjoyed this story, it was surprisingly emotional.
The ontradictions between the earlier and later chapters is a bit disconcerting when you read it in one go (I've never kissed before != I almost had sex with Fluttershy ), but otherwise a very enjoyable read.
There were few grammatical errors, and no spelling issues jumped out at me. More foreshadowing and interaction between the other characters would have been nice, as well as a chance to see the group together as a whole more.
And damnit, do a Harem-Ok-Clop-tastic alternate version already!
Just wanted to give some thanks to everybody who stuck with this story. Writing this was a long, wonderful, and painful journey for me- but I feel vindicated for sticking with it. I've thought about it, and this will NOT be my last story. When will my next story come out? Well, who knows? But it will come. I also might write some bonus endings to this, if I feel like I have reason. Many, many thanks!
P.S. This story did not go in the direction I imagined it going at all when I first started writing it. It was originally going to be a sort of harem clop, but I'm really glad I moved away from that. But now that I feel like I'm a better writer, I might atempt that in the future. Who knows.
P.P.S. I listened to Fluttershy's Rapshody by ColaEuphoria, Micheal Bolton, Ne-Yo, and Metallica when I wrote this. Favorites include- Go The Distace, Mad, Master of Puppets, Closer. I'm a weird guy. Okay, I'm done now, for real.
This is definitely one of my favorite stories ever. I'm glad to hear this won't be your last, I hope to see more like this from you in the future.
Nothing expresses happiness better than a Pinkie Pie emoticon.
Woo, the story is finally done!
Also, I don't think crashing a plane is something to be taken lightly. I mean, I've seen some pretty horrible videos...
Damn good job. Waitin' for this since January.
F*CK YES FINALLY. Good job completing this baby man.
Edit:"I love you two sweetie," you reply, and give her a peck on the cheek.
Isn't it "I love you too"? Check for errors man.
This was great! Really!
Also really glad to hear that this wont be your last fic, I remember you mentioning this would have been the last. Good to know I'll have more too look forward too. Thanks for this and all the best in everything you do!
Yay for updates!!!
Great job. I love this story
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP, this has been a fantastic story, i've loved every chapter, but the worse part of it is that it has to end
Clap's Clap's Clap's Clap's Clap's Clap's Clap's Clap's.
fantastic, when I first saw this I thought it was just a clop fic with random sex with all the girls. I was wrong and I am really happy I was.
Thank you for writing this for us to read. I hope you are proud of it.
750734
*Flails arms wildly* WOOOOOOO!!!!
*Does a random, hyperactivity-filled dance* YAY BONUS ENDINGS!!!!!!!!!!
Wow... That was amazing. Thanks for finishing this, Jace.
750734
I like the idea for an "Alternate ending". For the harem clop, I mean.
Because honestly, I think everyone here was expecting that, including me.
that was perfect
750734 I've been following this story since the beginning and I must say it turned out to be one of my favorites. Just a week ago I got this urge to re-read this but I couldn't find it I didn't even know about the previous update. On rambling am I.
I just wanted to say this story AWESOME! You sir/madam have earned a follower.
I really loved this ending. I really did, it was beautiful and it made me smile.
On a personal note, you stated in your last chapter you would end up with who you want. Now I took that as an option that you could pick the girl that you wanted. Now I am not mad about that, only it was slightly disappointing that we couldn't see how another relationship would've turned out. But like I said, this ending felt good and more importantly, it felt right751597
After, or even in the middle of each chapter - including this one - I found myself imagining what would've happened if another relationship had been chosen, or even, what could potentially happen in the future of this universe; for example, Fluttershy said the reader would always have her. What if something happened between the reader and Dash, and that statement came into question or effect despite her being with Big Mac?
I believe that if a story can make me pause while I'm reading it, or once I've finished reading it, to imagine different or possible outcomes, it means that I'm totally immersed in an excellent story.
I've been following this since the beginning and I've loved every chapter of it. It's brilliant.
Don't know why I didn't have you on watch before, but I do now.
Great to see this story wrapped up, and I gotta say that I loved the ending. Like TimbukTurnip said: "Don't know why I didn't have you on watch before, but I do now." Definitely keeping my eyes open for if you write up any great stories like you did this one. Congratz
The final part of this story was damn well worth it. I was expecting a longer and more in depth scene when Dash and the main character finally do come together, but I glad it is what it is. A longer sexual scene could have ruined the entire mood this story was trying to set and it is certainly better for it. The ending also left me with a good feeling and more or less of a sequel wanting rage. Even if there isn't a sequel, it is still an amazing story that ended in absolutely an amazing way.
Thanks for finishing this, I really did enjoy reading it.
Powerful stuff there, not too much, not diverging off into a lot of what would be pretty useless stuff in relation to the actual story. But most importantly it reminded me a lot of how I used to write and how I used to see the world.
There's a lot of hope in this story, and a lot of escapism, but at the same time, a lot of desire to be better because you know you need to be.
The writing's fine though, just so's you know, maybe have an editor (like me, for example, I do that) give you a proof read to pick up the occasional phrasing or spelling errors. And the other thing you could benefit from on your next one is a more solid story construct; give yourself a start, middle and end point to work to so that your mind doesn't wander in the mean time (also helps with writer's block; if you can't get one bit right, then having a plan means you can move on and write a later bit until it gives you ideas about how to bridge that gap you've created).
But in the end, when all my advice is exhausted, I just want to say thankyou again, this was a story that I really wanted to see you finish, an epilogue I wanted to read, a conclusion that I wanted to reach. Well done, that author, well done indeed
I'll admit. I was a tad skeptical when I read the synopsis for this when it first came out.
But good lord, I am glad I stuck with it. A crazy roller-coaster of emotions and beautiful backstories made for a helluva good fic.
Keep up the good work, my comrade.
I have waited for this, AND YOU DELIVERED! How about for a bonus chapter, you write one big chapter that is a complete harem clop with everyone(maybe even Mac)! IT WOULD BE AWSOME!
aw, nice ending, if not a bit short.
(can you go fix those typos? I don't wanna highlight em', and it's a really nice story. best not to ruin it with silly little typos! )
750734
Glad to hear it's only your first. You're a great writer and I expect great things. Speaking personally? I wouldn't mind a few bonus endings including a special harem ending. All in all though, well done and beautifully written story all around my friend! VERY well done, and congratulations. Hats off, indeed, to you.
When I first saw this fic I thought it was going to be the kind of fic where "you" get all the girls. I am so glad I was wrong. Great work with this story man. Looking forward to more work from you.
Oh God... This was beautiful... I never EVER fucking say this, because I think it is cheesy as fuck; buut.... Manly fucking tears, were manly fucking shed.
So awesome.
750734 through thick and thin I stuck with it friend from the day this story was published and it was beautiful easily one of the greatest fics of my time of reading it was a blast and good luck friend with many other fics you will probably write and if you consider doing that then were all with you
vanshardware.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Picard_full_of_win.jpg
Here, have gifs of approval.
assets0.ordienetworks.com/images/GifGuide/clapping/1292223254212-dumpfm-mario-Obamaclap.gif
assets0.ordienetworks.com/images/GifGuide/clapping/Kurtclapping.gif
chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-gifs-dale-cooper-approves.gif
i162.photobucket.com/albums/t264/thompsk/joker.gif
jasoneley.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/slowclap.gif
mlkshk.com/r/WFA
gifsoup.com/view/754962/applause-o.gif
I want a mothafuckin' standing ovation up in this bitch.
I'm seriously fucking speechless right now.
freshideasnutritainment.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/shocked-man2.jpg
750734 Glad I stayed with this as well. I was totally expecting the harem clop, but was more than happy with the actual outcome. Thank you so much.
This was the most passionate fic I've ever read. It had more emotion in it than anything I've ever read, including in published works. Sure, some master writers like C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien, Shakespeare, Paulo Coelho and the like have written works of immeasurable depth and quality, but I've never experienced emotion of this magnitude of anything I've ever read, and I've read a lot of books, and a lot of fics. Not even the poetry I have read, or written myself, comes close to the raw emotion here.
I can feel the emotion in your words and the personal pain and toil that you clearly have experienced for yourself in every word. Just after reading this I can feel deep empathy towards you, and all I can say is I send my love to you. I know that you cannot fake what you have written. I know this as I feel the same pain you do, the same desperate longing for love. The same lack of self-esteem, regardless of the knowledge of your own value... I better stop now, as I'm starting to cry here.
Edit: Oh, and, one song to describe this: Nothing Else Matters by Metallica
I told you guys! I knew he was cooking up something good! I knew I was right for sticking with this story. Great work man.
Awww, that was lovely. I'm glad you've decided to write on, Jace, and I look forward to your next work.
The fact that this was supposed to be a harem clop story makes sense to me, if only because it's all pittering about with no actual direction and each chapter could pretty much be a self contained story...
That said though it was well written and I enjoyed it.
Carry on.
great story bro.
This got to me, like....
I was able to relate to the point I was questioning myself....
I think I legitimately need to change some things about myself now, that was amazing.
The whole story was just amazing.
The little velvet case at the end made it for me.
Wonderful but no six em orgy
This just might be my favorite story of all time. You sir, are a God. And I thank for that.
No wait, forget that: it IS my favorite story.
I rather enjoyed this story, it was surprisingly emotional.
The ontradictions between the earlier and later chapters is a bit disconcerting when you read it in one go (I've never kissed before != I almost had sex with Fluttershy ), but otherwise a very enjoyable read.
There were few grammatical errors, and no spelling issues jumped out at me. More foreshadowing and interaction between the other characters would have been nice, as well as a chance to see the group together as a whole more.
And damnit, do a Harem-Ok-Clop-tastic alternate version already!
Damn, that was good. Azurini wasn't wrong when he took inspiration from this.
1304317 I could not agree with you more, it was amazing.
1449459 Only you would reply to an older comment of mine at 3:30 in the morning
1451246 Only the pros do it, hahahaha
759145
I agree with everything you said. For a first story; the emotion it brings is better than some people's 100th story written.
This was an amazing story, extremely well written. A few screw ups here and there but it was really great
Dear God,
1.bp.blogspot.com/-vL74Jy05PFY/UYP5nOpIJJI/AAAAAAAAAD4/VGfel6yGCJk/s320/34912-so-many-feels-gif-uQy0.gif
Flawless.
They saw you Rollin they were hatin something something something
This story is beautiful, now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in my glass case of emotion.