So I feel like I owe you all an explanation. I know you're all wondering where in the heck I went... well, a bunch of crazy things happened at once. My life started getting hectic, and my time for writing got severely decreased. At the same time, a story I wrote totally bombed, and I got super discouraged... like hardcore. As in, "I'm a terrible writer, why should I even bother." But, my life has calmed down now. I have more time to write. And I feel like I owe it to you guys- and myself- to at least finish this. I don't know if I'm even a semi-competent writer, so this might be the only fan-fiction I do. But I'm gonna finish it. So, without further ado, I present the penultimate chapter of 7 Days in Heaven.
And just like that, you leave me hanging on for more. Why is helping others so much easier than helping yourself? Because when you help others, you don't need to worry about self esteem.
481498 We owe you support and fair opinions. NEVER stop writing! This here? This is FANTASTIC material. You are a brilliant writer! Don't believe me? Look at the comments! What he said.
481498 man you are a great writer and i hope you do more fics like this one... when i read these chapters i can atleast find one thing in each of them that i can relate back to my life and that makes me happy and sometimes it makes me sad knowing that i do need to change my ways and other stuff like that....basically don't stop man just write if nobody likes it then sucks to be them thats what i'm doing with my fic. i can't wait for the last chapter!!!!
Dude, this has been a awesome story you have written, to the fact it was the first bit of Fanfiction I have shared with others. Your a awesome writer and while I felt that there have been some rough spots here and there. You have gotten me very emotionally involved with the characters to the point where I have shed tears when I have gotten to certain parts. So man don't get discouraged by a bad story, we as writers all have them at one point or another, all we can do is learn from them and grow so we can make the masterpiece we as writers are continually seeking to write.
To be honest, seeing this fic come up in my favorites list as updated and everything made me very giddy, given all of the pony related crazy I've been through today. To be fair, this story is great. People who say otherwise just aren't into your style, and that's something you gotta just ignore. Coming from a bit of experience, nothing helps more than constructive feedback saying how great the story is.
Can't wait for the conclusion of this story, whenever you get the chance to write/post it.
Just read this story and wanted to say that the Pinkie chapter really hit me hard. I lost a brother when I was young. I've not cried to something written like I did reading the Pinkie chapter in a long, long time. This entire story has been very touching and beautifully written, that chapter in particular for me.
I'm not much for commenting around on here, but I feel I owe you an explanation for something too. I've been reading this fiction since chapter two was posted, meaning I caught it on the 'new updates' list, and I've been enjoying it. It's not because it's MLP fanfiction, although that's what drew me to the site, it's because the story is worth the read. It definitely hasn't disappointed so far kid.
I'm an editor, both in my free time and professionally, I work for two publishing businesses and my day job (if you'll call it that) is a printer and designer for magazines, newspapers and advertising in the UK. So what I'll say for this is simple; I'm enjoying your work. How's that? I want to read more.
If you're interested, I'll even take a look at this other story of yours that supposedly bombed, I can pick apart why and how, and suggest ideas and methods you could use to learn from it in the future. Doesn't matter if it's fanfiction or not, I don't honestly mind. In return for this story, and the messages in each chapter, I'd be happy to help you out.
Drop me a line kid, and even if you don't do that, do me a favour; finish this story up, I want to see how it ends
Jace, you are an amazing writer, managing to pull off 2nd person like this is simply brilliant. I for one can't wait to see more like this from you, one of the best stories I've read in a while. Do not give up!
Well, after all that time, I've but a few things to say. First ... Worth. The. Wait. Totallyworth the wait.
Second. WOW, Fluttershy got pissed, Jesus Christ. ...Completely killed my boner, holy shit.
Third. YES! This is almost ending! ...Wait, that came out wrong. What I mean is, the big finale is coming up! Which either means an awesome sex-scene with one (Dash), or a five...six...sevensome?
First off, it's nice to see that you took my advice from last time and started tagging your dialogue with who is talking. That eliminates any chance for speaker confusion, although I do encourage avoiding using more that just "said X," in most cases. You often don't need to use words like "murmured," "admitted," or the like, especially if the dialogue already suggests it.
But now I've also noticed another rookie mistake in your writing: It's too dry. You only give short, rapid descriptions for a lot of your scenes, and as a result, it makes the chapter read too fast to give any of the events any real weight to them. I could somewhat understand this for the more graphic scenes if you aren't entirely comfortable writing them, but it's also evident outside of them.
For example, the part where Fluttershy plays guitar for everyone and they embrace her occupies all of one paragraph. It's a big paragraph, sure, but for an event as important as that one, it's not enough to give it any sense of weight. To the reader, it's almost no more effective than if you just said "She played for her friends and they hugged her," and moved on.
Now I'm not saying you need to bog down the story with unnecessary details. Sometimes, simply taking the same amount of information and using more detailed words (i.e. words that evoke the senses more, not unreadable purple prose) can be a good improvement. I would suggest reading some of the more well-received fanfics on this site (clopfics or otherwise), as well as "The Color Purple" section of this document to get a good idea of how to write in better detail.
you are a great writer you just have a few small misspellings that should have be seen before posting but im still looking forward to the final chapter and not everything some one writes is going to be great but a great writer learns what was wrong with it and makes the next one better. loved the character contrast in flutteryshy, soft spoken then a real go getter when she wants something
I cant even begin in saying how good this is. I read the other comments, and they summed up everything I can hope to say. this is simply great, no if's and's or Butt's.
I WOULD turn a chance at being with Fluttershy, because I'm going after Dash And if that doesn't work, well then I do have AppleJAck to look forward too.
Welcome back to the world of the living. You're a good writer, and we all hope to see more from you. If not, well, we're glad you're finishing this at least. And thank you. (salutes)
To everyone who has been encouraging me- thank you! It really means a lot... and don't worry, I'm finishing this fic. The end is coming soon... in a good way! Also, if there are any artists interested in doing a cover picture for the story, message me or something- I think it'd be nice to have one.
Almost done... there's a reason it's taking so long. I think it's really going to pay off. I'm just going to say this: you're going to end up with who you want to end up with.
What I love about your story is that each character has problems, wants, needs, frustrations and personal growth. Maybe I find it personally similar to my life, a constant helper who never helps himself but your writing resonates with a living rhytm. We want the character to all be happy, but they won't get everything that you want them to get. That is the coolest thing about this, it feels like a growing experience. SO keep writing my friend, you just have to have the soul for writing. Grammar can be learned, but passion can only come from within . Also AWESOME ENDING!? HOOOLLLLYYYY SHHHIIIIIIITTTTTTT
So I feel like I owe you all an explanation. I know you're all wondering where in the heck I went... well, a bunch of crazy things happened at once. My life started getting hectic, and my time for writing got severely decreased. At the same time, a story I wrote totally bombed, and I got super discouraged... like hardcore. As in, "I'm a terrible writer, why should I even bother." But, my life has calmed down now. I have more time to write. And I feel like I owe it to you guys- and myself- to at least finish this. I don't know if I'm even a semi-competent writer, so this might be the only fan-fiction I do. But I'm gonna finish it. So, without further ado, I present the penultimate chapter of 7 Days in Heaven.
481498 YES, you are amazing man! never stop this!
YES. YES.
YESH!
Glad to see you writing again! I can't wait for the last chapter! UPDATE ASAP!
And just like that, you leave me hanging on for more.
Why is helping others so much easier than helping yourself?
Because when you help others, you don't need to worry about self esteem.
481498
HE'S ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!
481498
We owe you support and fair opinions.
NEVER stop writing! This here? This is FANTASTIC material. You are a brilliant writer!
Don't believe me? Look at the comments!
What he said.
481498 man you are a great writer and i hope you do more fics like this one... when i read these chapters i can atleast find one thing in each of them that i can relate back to my life and that makes me happy and sometimes it makes me sad knowing that i do need to change my ways and other stuff like that....basically don't stop man just write if nobody likes it then sucks to be them thats what i'm doing with my fic. i can't wait for the last chapter!!!!
Jesus man you were gone so long I thought you were dead
Dude, this has been a awesome story you have written, to the fact it was the first bit of Fanfiction I have shared with others. Your a awesome writer and while I felt that there have been some rough spots here and there. You have gotten me very emotionally involved with the characters to the point where I have shed tears when I have gotten to certain parts. So man don't get discouraged by a bad story, we as writers all have them at one point or another, all we can do is learn from them and grow so we can make the masterpiece we as writers are continually seeking to write.
481698
...You used the wrong "your." "You're" = you are.
To be honest, seeing this fic come up in my favorites list as updated and everything made me very giddy, given all of the pony related crazy I've been through today.
To be fair, this story is great. People who say otherwise just aren't into your style, and that's something you gotta just ignore. Coming from a bit of experience, nothing helps more than constructive feedback saying how great the story is.
Can't wait for the conclusion of this story, whenever you get the chance to write/post it.
NEW CHAPTER! HE LIVES!
Just read this story and wanted to say that the Pinkie chapter really hit me hard. I lost a brother when I was young. I've not cried to something written like I did reading the Pinkie chapter in a long, long time. This entire story has been very touching and beautifully written, that chapter in particular for me.
I'm not much for commenting around on here, but I feel I owe you an explanation for something too. I've been reading this fiction since chapter two was posted, meaning I caught it on the 'new updates' list, and I've been enjoying it. It's not because it's MLP fanfiction, although that's what drew me to the site, it's because the story is worth the read. It definitely hasn't disappointed so far kid.
I'm an editor, both in my free time and professionally, I work for two publishing businesses and my day job (if you'll call it that) is a printer and designer for magazines, newspapers and advertising in the UK. So what I'll say for this is simple; I'm enjoying your work. How's that? I want to read more.
If you're interested, I'll even take a look at this other story of yours that supposedly bombed, I can pick apart why and how, and suggest ideas and methods you could use to learn from it in the future. Doesn't matter if it's fanfiction or not, I don't honestly mind. In return for this story, and the messages in each chapter, I'd be happy to help you out.
Drop me a line kid, and even if you don't do that, do me a favour; finish this story up, I want to see how it ends
Jace, you are an amazing writer, managing to pull off 2nd person like this is simply brilliant. I for one can't wait to see more like this from you, one of the best stories I've read in a while. Do not give up!
Oh mai gawd.
...An update?
Well, after all that time, I've but a few things to say.
First ...
Worth. The. Wait.
Totally worth the wait.
Second.
WOW, Fluttershy got pissed, Jesus Christ.
...Completely killed my boner, holy shit.
Third.
YES! This is almost ending!
...Wait, that came out wrong. What I mean is, the big finale is coming up! Which either means an awesome sex-scene with one (Dash), or a five...six...sevensome?
Last, but by no means, least.
Wooh!
Tits!
Some more constructive criticism for you:
First off, it's nice to see that you took my advice from last time and started tagging your dialogue with who is talking. That eliminates any chance for speaker confusion, although I do encourage avoiding using more that just "said X," in most cases. You often don't need to use words like "murmured," "admitted," or the like, especially if the dialogue already suggests it.
But now I've also noticed another rookie mistake in your writing: It's too dry. You only give short, rapid descriptions for a lot of your scenes, and as a result, it makes the chapter read too fast to give any of the events any real weight to them. I could somewhat understand this for the more graphic scenes if you aren't entirely comfortable writing them, but it's also evident outside of them.
For example, the part where Fluttershy plays guitar for everyone and they embrace her occupies all of one paragraph. It's a big paragraph, sure, but for an event as important as that one, it's not enough to give it any sense of weight. To the reader, it's almost no more effective than if you just said "She played for her friends and they hugged her," and moved on.
Now I'm not saying you need to bog down the story with unnecessary details. Sometimes, simply taking the same amount of information and using more detailed words (i.e. words that evoke the senses more, not unreadable purple prose) can be a good improvement. I would suggest reading some of the more well-received fanfics on this site (clopfics or otherwise), as well as "The Color Purple" section of this document to get a good idea of how to write in better detail.
you are a great writer you just have a few small misspellings that should have be seen before posting
but im still looking forward to the final chapter and not everything some one writes is going to be great but a great writer learns what was wrong with it and makes the next one better.
loved the character contrast in flutteryshy, soft spoken then a real go getter when she wants something
dang, it's almost over
You...you're telling me that I turned away a chance at Fluttershy?
...
i.qkme.me/35rg3i.jpg
I cant even begin in saying how good this is. I read the other comments, and they summed up everything I can hope to say. this is simply great, no if's and's or Butt's.
I WOULD turn a chance at being with Fluttershy, because I'm going after Dash
And if that doesn't work, well then I do have AppleJAck to look forward too.
Muy Awesome-O
Fantastic work, can't wait for the next chapter.
This is some intense stuff.
Welcome back to the world of the living. You're a good writer, and we all hope to see more from you. If not, well, we're glad you're finishing this at least. And thank you. (salutes)
To everyone who has been encouraging me- thank you! It really means a lot... and don't worry, I'm finishing this fic. The end is coming soon... in a good way! Also, if there are any artists interested in doing a cover picture for the story, message me or something- I think it'd be nice to have one.
Don't ever think you're a bad writer, this story is brilliant.
As for the chapter, I find it delightfully ironic that the girl the reader has gone the furthest with is also the shiest.
Looking forward to the next part.
Huh, didn't see that coming.
Great chapter, and Poets of the Fall went really well with this chapter. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Some grammatical errors:
When this pops up "What, can't stand to hear the truth? Well to bad..." That should always be "too".
~Jack
485258 Dashie, or AJ are really my choices in this matter.
Fantastic story! One of those ones where I sat down and read it all in one go.
Update on the way?
Almost done... there's a reason it's taking so long. I think it's really going to pay off. I'm just going to say this: you're going to end up with who you want to end up with.
What I love about your story is that each character has problems, wants, needs, frustrations and personal growth. Maybe I find it personally similar to my life, a constant helper who never helps himself but your writing resonates with a living rhytm. We want the character to all be happy, but they won't get everything that you want them to get. That is the coolest thing about this, it feels like a growing experience. SO keep writing my friend, you just have to have the soul for writing. Grammar can be learned, but passion can only come from within . Also AWESOME ENDING!? HOOOLLLLYYYY SHHHIIIIIIITTTTTTT
696035
PLEASE STAND BY WHILE DA BEEJEES SEARCHES HIS PONY FOLDER FOR (AN) APPROPRIATE GRAPHIC(S) TO EXPRESS HIS CURRENT EMOTION(S)
4.bp.blogspot.com/-TRBdkiuh134/T3SlNnPc_nI/AAAAAAAAAJw/svcASr00QCo/s1600/112315+-+caption+rape_is_about_to_commence+twilight_sparkle.jpg
static.fjcdn.com/comments/The+1st+episode+of+the+new+south+park+season+is+_2914dacb5a5bd6fac8b0edb0407f19e9.jpg
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/130/667/130711802685.gif
Why must waiting be so hard??????
I'm not sure how I didn't comment on this chapter when I read it! However, I'm excited (and a little saddened) to hear that the end is almost nigh.
This story is already marked as "read later". If it is finished, I'll give it a shot.
Er... Vinyl wasn't the girl that killed herself and Pinkie went all Pinkamena about, right?
i1306.photobucket.com/albums/s565/Nicole_Tetrev/tumblr_m6y2pptpWu1qh2o7zo1_500_zps389c5d1e.gif
1640087
No, that's after it I'm pretty sure.