- Member Since 28th Oct, 2011
- offline last seen Dec 1st, 2021
Cloudiest Nights
Just your average teenager who loves life and everything about it.
Cloudiest Nights
Joined 28th Oct, 2011 ·
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I was going to attempt this (sill might) but I'm glad you did it. This is quite how I imagined it would go. Well done.
This was nice. It needs a little touching up here and there, but it does a good job of exploring the dysfunctional world of Twilight Sparkle. Thumbs up.
Thanks for that! What parts need touching up? I was up kinda late last night so I may have missed some things here and there.
That was fast! It's too short to submit to EqD, unfortunately, but I liked what I read here. The paragraph that began with "It is worth noting what Twilight did not remember" was very well crafted, and I could totally see a little filly Twilight diving into her first Daring Doo novel ever. Great job with the very last paragraph, too--repetition is a device few people know how to use effectively, but I found the iterated mentions of fading to work very well as Twilight comes back to the real world, ready to talk to Applejack.
There was one bizarre change of tense to the present in the third and fourth paragraphs of this story, but otherwise this was well-executed. I hope you enjoyed reading the source material, and hopefully it gave you some things to think about.
o.o
This was legitimately beautiful if a little unpolished, a very well crafted story. Well done sir.
1881415
It got featured!
Got its own post too.
However I'm also totally confused as to what this is (Random tag is random)
Guess I shall have to take a look
I'm goin' in!
EDIT: Ooh this is was a nice read! I'm really pleased for you it got featured. Looks like those extra 1.2k words were worth it! Awesomesauce!
1948208
Thanks for the compliment! I'm glad you liked it
Woah, that...that..http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/33134406.jpg
It kinda lost momentum after the sixth or seventh 'she did not remember' but throughout the story it was filled with.....emotion, lets call it that.
Faved and upvoted, because those are now verbs.
I felt a bit bogged down about 2/3 of the way through Twilight's life story being not-remembered, like it was just a bit much. I do like how you managed to give so much significance to a completely random action on Applejack's part, though.
La marcación con esta función de reloj sobredimensiona Algunos marcadores y las manos amplia punta de flecha. Estos elementos son perfectos para la visibilidad. Me gustan los 6, 9 y 12 marcas. Vienen en un tono más fuerte que hace que el aspecto de replicas relojes línea aún mejor. Hay aussi es una ventana de fecha. Incluso si no se amplía, se puede leer fácilmente. Todo se ve igual que en el original, desde el dial para los marcadores, bisel y así sucesivamente rotación. Realmente es una bonita habitación, y muchos no podía decir si se trata de una réplica que pondría uno al lado del otro.