Slaeynie
Joined 26th Dec, 2012 ·
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well, that was the most depressing clopfic I've ever read. in other words, good job
I didn't finish it. But I loved it.
Well... that was depressing. Decently written but... yikes.
Somepony finally made a clopfic dealing with the horrors of rape from a male perspective. I was wondering when that would happen.
I can't say that it's too far out of character for Dashie. Strong, insensitive, hedonistic, epicurean... why do I have the feeling that she'd do this?
Ooh oooh! Rainbow! Pick me! Me next!
1857112 What if you open the box?
1858241 i think you'll find princess molestia with a nubby strap-on, saying 'gotcha'
I liked it don't let the dislikes get you down.
1859778
Heh, I expected way, way worse. Considering how badly rape fics are usually received here I posted this fully expecting to be burned at the stake.
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/380/373/03a.jpg
ill keep an eye on this fic. Would have liked to not have the pegging scene though
Wrapping it around herself? What is it? A strap-on Snuggie?
If it were me, I'd consider changing the line to "Rainbow said as she tightened the straps of her intimidating sex toy."
That was my favorite clopfic ive read so far! please make another, or part two.
1860251
Eh, I hadn't really planned on adding any more to it. Considering how niche of a fetish femdom rape is I was pretty sure that the fic would bomb. Also, how it ended doesn't really leave much to expand upon.
To be honest I just wrote this on a whim. I guess if it proves popular I might think about writing more on it, but I'm in the process of writing a non-clop fic as well and I want to get it finished and polished before I touch this again, if I decide to at all.
@Shadow Stalker 206
@ Shadow Stalker 206
>Shadow Stalker 206
> Shadow Stalker 206
>>Shadow Stalker 206
>> Shadow Stalker 206
Sorry, I'm trying to figure out how to do the address thing that make the name appear in blue text and gives a notification in the inbox.
If you open the box, you get raped.
BTW, does anypony else think that it would be fascinating to write a fic where Rainbow Dash does have a thing for geeky, adorkable stallions?
EDIT; I finally got it to work.
1858241
You gonna get raped.
1859802 Well I liked it. If you could continue into it that would be totally cool!
1860276 1860389
Actually, there is more to continue on it. Namely, we can track his progression into complete submission and even Stockholm-Syndrome–type love for Rainbow Dash. That said, do you want a proofreader? A lot of the grammatical errors I saw here seemed to deal with homonyms: words that sound alike. Submitted as an example:
>clearly aroused even more by Midnight's vein attempts at resisting.
clearly aroused even more by Midnight's vain attempts at resisting.
However, were you to continue it, I'd suggest switching the Story and Chapter Titles. They would make much more sense that way.
Before I begin I would like to say that I did enjoy reading this fic, and I think it has some potential to be something excellent. However there are some points which I believe require further work.
First off in terms of characterization Rainbow Dash has apparently gone from somewhat overconfident thrill seeker to a sociopathic rapist who gets off on the physical and mental agony of her victims, There should be a greater connection between the two, perhaps give her some scenes to show the aspects of the latter display in the everyday Rainbow Dash that wants to join the wonderbolts and loves her friends.
Midnight himself could do with some fleshing out as well, all we have is a traumatized stallion who we are told is friends with Pinkie Pie. He is shy and withdrawn, but that is all we see of him before he is reduced to Rainbows' toy. Give us something about how he thinks, what he feels, let us see him before Rainbow Dash ruins him.
His coat colour, at least, would be nice.
Now, on to the bits that I think were well done;
The sex scenes, specifically how Rainbow Dash uses him is very degrading. In most materials it would be the case where Rainbow Dash does things in such a way that she is merely being aggressive with her attentions rather than being a true predator. In this case however, the vaginal sex is not agreed upon, she then forces him to debase himself with the remains of their unwilling copulation with his life in her hands, and finally she penetrates him, doing so until he is utterly broken and begging for mercy. This is not the behavior of an aggressive lover, it is that of a monster.
At last comes the logic behind the whole thing, does Rainbow Dash keep her 'pets' in her house? Unless she is exceptionally good at brainwashing there is no way she could let them out for their day-to-day lives, someone would notice their absence, certainly Midnight who has an established group of friends that includes Pinkie Pie. Are her previous victims walking around in Ponyville, do they move away after being released, or does Dash break her toys in a permanent manner? Who besides Dash and her victims now about this? Does Pinkie know? Is the whole town in on it? Is this sort of thing so common and accepted that Stallions being treated like Midnight has been is accepted?
I would greatly like to see the answers to these questions, and a more in depth look at the horrors Midnight must now suffer through. For inspiration, should you chose to continue or alter this fic, I recommend you take a look at the Ask Zerum Hooves blog: http://ask-zerumwhooves.tumblr.com/
This fic was interesting, so thank you for writing it
BlackWinter
Dafuq did I just read? I'm scared and confused but imma leave a like anyway
Oh look.
Another fanfic of a black OC, getting raped by a Mane Character. Aren't you orgigiANAL. HAHAHAH
AM I FUNNY NOW. 
Wow.... That was... That was something else.
google.com/search?q=my+little+pony+poker+face&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&client=safari&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&authuser=0&ei=BuvdUPKqFIja9ATopoHADQ&biw=1024&bih=672&sei=CevdULW_C5Sm8gSm7IHQCg#biv=i|1;d|Y1w1qHpuWf90ZM:
My face when reading it
google.com/imgres?hl=en&safe=off&tbo=d&rlz=1G1GGLQ_ENUS328&biw=1036&bih=597&tbm=isch&tbnid=4gATbkNf2r9pjM:&imgrefurl=http://iambrony.com/gif/11485&docid=clRiQ5q7kb8aEM&imgurl=http://iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/132988456850.gif&w=720&h=405&ei=QjPeUKD1FqrO0QGBxYHACA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=4&vpy=169&dur=209&hovh=168&hovw=300&tx=183&ty=102&sig=101284912663558343221&page=1&tbnh=118&tbnw=211&start=0&ndsp=16&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0,i:88
!!
Botched images, botched images everywhere.
I absolutely liked it!
Perhaps something similar to my horrible one that i scraped?
1868222
That's even worse than the fic itself!
Say, would you mind helping out a new author and give Last One Standing a look and review? Thank you regardless.
1869664
Because when you need your sad fic about the death of Twilight reviewed, the most obvious source is the guy who wrote an erotic femdom clopfic.
I might read it tomorrow if I remember, I'll see what I can tell you.
*takes dawn breaker and shoves it through her vagina and out her throat*
No. Bad rainbow dash.
1857112 I must open that box
So now I have another food for my "no-eat" list
1. Cupcakes
2. Strawberry Milkshakes
...
OMG!!! MIDNIGHT GOT BUTTSEX'D!!!
I played the drinking game and died from alcohol poisoning.
Very good read!
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/how+a+gentleman+says+stop+it+boner.+made+in+mspaint+sry_99577b_3591738.jpg
that's all i have to say about this
1889692
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=LxcOaOTLuIg]
2127509 BAHAHA!!!
Want! Want! Want!
Celestia gets raped. I demand it. Because there are none.
I would like more please.
Would you mind if I borrowed Midnight for a story?
2287976
Go right ahead.
2294547
Thanks. Could you at least tell me what Midnight look like, please?
2295349
Well, nothing particular really. I intentionally left him a blank slate so that the reader could easily put themself in his place...if they're into that kind of thing.
I pictured an Earth pony version of this:
images.wikia.com/mlp/images/d/dc/Dark_blue_constellation_stallion_s02e22.png
Very depressing clopfic - well done. I shed man tears.
Would you mind if I made an alternate ending for the story?
2298424
Do whatever you want with it. It's public domain.
2298840
Ok, thanks
For those whom it may concern, here is an alternate ending:
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/92074/i-just-wanted-him-to-love-me
And here's the finished fic. It's the antidote to this story.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/93809/a-pleasant-surprise
Oh myyyy.
This was good.
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbpiszWWHw1r05905o1_400.jpg
Such a shame it's complete.
There were a few grating issues, but I still enjoyed it a lot.
MOAR PLZ:
