Derpy Writes A Fan-FIc

by AppleSeed454

Derpy Writes A Fan-Fic, Celestia Help Us All!

Derpy Writes A Fan-Fic: Celestia Help Us All!

It was a cold winter's day in Ponyville, outside the wind was blowing, snow was falling, and the young fillies & colts were out and about playing, working, and enjoying various winter activities. However at the edge of town, in a house not all that different from the others, a particular pegasus pony was stuck in bed, having a rather tuff time dealing with her boredom.

"Carrot Top! Carrot Top! Where are you!?" A high pitched voice said with a whine.

"I'm right here Derpy, calm down!" The earth pony known as Carrot Top said as she trotted up the stairs.

"Did you get the Muffins?" Derpy asked.

"Yes Derpy, I got your muffins." She replied.

"Good!" Derpy said rubbing her hooves together and licking her lips. "With the power of muffins I shall beat this nasty Feather-Flu in 10 seconds flat!"

"10 Seconds ey? I didn't know these were magic muffins." She said with a laugh as she handed Derpy the brown paper bag.

"Oh yes" Derpy said, with a smile "Muffins have magical healing properties you know."

"Well magic or not, the Doctor told you to stay in beed for the rest of the week, and of course to take your medicine."

"Ugg" Derpy said, sticking her tongue out in disgust. "I HATE THAT STUFF!" she huffed. "It taste like rotten cranberries!" "Sides I'm f--fu... ACHHOO!! Fine" Derpy said to Carrot as she grabbed a Kleenex and blew her nose. "Besides i'm bored, I wanna get out and do stuff!"

"I know, I know, but you can't, at least, not yet, but thats why I brought you a gift, think of it as an early Hearthwarming's present."

Derpy's eyes widened and she smiled from cheek to cheek. "Oh is it a lifetime supply of muffins!?" She asked.

Carrot Top laughed "No, its something much better then that!"

"Better then muffins?" Derpy asked, "What could it be?" she wondered.

"OK Dinky, come on in!" Carrot Top chimed. Then slowly Derpy saw it, her daughter using her unicorn magic to levitate a box on to her bed, the package slowly dropped into Derpy's lap, and magically unfolded, and inside... A metal square?

"Uhh, what is it?" Derpy asked, looking at Carrot Top and Dinky with a confused look about her face.

"Its a laptop computer silly" "A lab cop what?" Derpy asked. Carrot & Dinky chuckled. "No Derpy, A Lap-Top computer, you can use it to log onto the Pony-Net and entertain yourself while your sick!"

"Oh..... Whats A Ponynet and what do I do on it exactly?" She asked.

"Geez Mom, get with the times!" Dinky said rolling her eyes.

Carrot Top just giggled some more and then looking at Derpy explained " The Ponynet is like this...well, its a big database, no thats not right, its kind of like, well its a way to bring ponies from all over Equestria together to talk, play games, and have fun!"

"So theres a lot of stuff to do on it then?" Derpy asked. "Oh yes, quite a lot, although you'll probably want to explore it with Safehoof on, theres some pretty crazy ponies out there, might be some stuff you don't want Dinky, or yourself to see."

"So... what do you think I should do on it?" Derpy asked Carrot & Dinky.

"Well, I usually play video games or talk with my friends, infact just the other day I was talking with Twist & Snails in a insta-chat and I heard the funnies joke, oh and I beat Applebloom's High score on Apple Shooter 3000! Oh and I read this super-cheesy fan fic!"

"Fan-Fic?" Derpy Asked. "Whats that"

"Oh you know, its when some pony takes something they like and make up their own story for it, like an origional story for The Trotting Dead, or Doctor Whooves or something like that." Dinky explained.

"Oh, well, that sounds fun, I know, I'LL WRITE A FAN-FICTION!" Derpy exclaimed with a bright big smile on her face.

"Ahh, are you sure about that dear?" Carrot Top asked the bed ridden pegasus "Yeah mom, I mean your not exactly a writer" Dinky replied. "Why not play a game or talk with Dash or one of your buddies on a forum!"

"Nope, I'm going to write a fan-fic!" Derpy said "Its decided, i'm putting my hoof down."

"Well, OK, whatever you want, its your computer after all." Carrot Top replied.

"Good, glad we see eye to eye" Derpy smirked. Then the Wall-eyed Pegasus turned the computer on, listened to it click & whurr, then after some loading and initial set-up, she accessed the writing program on her laptop.

" OK, now, what should I write about?" Derpy asked, looking at Dinky & Carrot Top. "Well anything you like dear, right Dinky?" Carrot top said looking at the little unicorn "yeah whatever you want mom!" Dinky answered.

Derpy looked at them, then out the window, then at the ceiling, then at her muffins, then back at her laptop.

"OH, I KNOW!" Derpy said excitedly "WHAT!?" The two asked. " I'll WRITE A FANFIC ABOUT ALL MY PONY FRIENDS!"

"But ahh mom, thats not really humufufuf" Dinky tried to reply as Carrot Top covered her mouth with her hoof.

" Haha, thats a great idea, isn't it Dinky!?" Carrot Top said looking at the foal.

"But!" Dinky was about to reply "Listen if she's busy with that she won't be complaining any more and you'll have more free time to go play with your friends, I might get some piece of mind as well"

"Oh, OK I get it" Dinky said winking up at the orange-maned earth pony. "Yeah mom, thats a great idea! Well if you'll excuse me I think i'll go out and play with Twist, later!" Dinky said as she quickly trotted off.

"And I think i'll go tend to my indoor carrot garden." Carrot Top said. "Wait CT, you gotta stay!"

"Me, stay? Why!?" The pony asked "because I need an reditor!" Derpy said.

"Ahh, Derpy hon, I think you mean editor."

"Yeah, that, whatever, now time to get crackin!" Derpy said as she put her hooves on the keyboard and began typing *how ponies can type is beyond me, but hey who am I to question*

It was a cold and windy day at Sweet Apple acres, 2 little fillies were huddled close together, the fire dwindiling, the two only having each other for heat! O ITS SOO COLD! Applebloom said, I can't stand et any moar! Where is AJ with that fire wood!? she axed? "I dunno, and aim too cold ta care" Babs Seed exclaimed. "But what will we doo to keep worm" AB asked. "Well I hear that making out keeps you warm? Really? Sure why not. And then the two ponies made out all night!"

"DERPY!" Carrot Top shrieked. "What the hey is wrong with you!?" "My cousins would never do something like that!" Carrot said with an angry look on her face.

"Oh I know I just wanted to see if you were paying attention" Derpy said, chuckling.

OK this time i'll do one for reals!" Derpy exclaimed.

" It was a bright sunny day in Kanterlot and Princess Celestia was sitting out on the veranda, waiting for her lover to to come, it had been eons since they last made love, and yes her body was ready! Then out of the corridors came the giant hulking figure, the one Celesita yearned for, with a bottle of wine and a refined voice, the figure moved towards Celestia and sand. "are you ready to make a little chaos-harmony pie my dear?" Whay Yus Diskord, I Yam!" Celestia said in rebutel"

"Derpy, just...STOP!" Carrot screamed.

"Ugg! What now CT!? Can't you see i'm in the zone!" Derpy huffed.

"Derpy, dear, maybe romance just isn't your thing, how about trying your hoof at someting else, OK." Carrot said giving the best fake smile she could.

"*sigh* OK I'll try something else" She said with a sad whine.

"Good, Oh I know how about a scary story, you were always good at those back when we'd go camping as fillies." Carrot replied.

"OK, i'll try." Derpy said with a cough.

"It was a dark and stormy night and Pinkamina was stalking her pray! U Can-knot escape me you foal she screamed as the poor pegasus ran away as fast as she could, unable to fly bekuz Pinker had torn her wings. But then she tripped, unable to go any further she set there in the mud, waiting for the evil penk pony to arrive, and then, it happened Pinkie stabbed the ponies bag, and TOOK ALL OF HER MUFFINZ!"

"Yeah, sorry Derps, thats really not scary" Carrot said with a sigh, try again.

"Ugg, fine!" "Lets see, oh I know!"

" The unicorn heard a knock at her door, she went downstairs, trotting, slowly, the knocking got louder, louder, and louder, the closer she got to the door, she opened it up, and standing there, in the door, NOTHING! She breathed a sigh of relief, and went back up stairs, only to find, they were gone, her muffins had been stolen, and a pike of muck was on her floor, she looked out the window, and saw it, a changling devouring her sweet treats! All she could do was scream NOOO!!!!"

"Yeah, still not scary, sorry" CT replied. Give it one more go."

Derpy just stared at Carrot Top and simply said "OK"

" AND THEN SPIKE AND RARITY MADE PASSIONATE HAWT DRAGON ON PONY LOVE AND HAD LOTS & LOTS OF KIRIN FOALS!!!"

"OK, now that one is kinda creepy" Carrot Top said, with a cringe on her face.

"You know CT, this fanfiction stuff is hard, fun, but hard" Derpy replied.

"Well yeah, it can be pretty tough, I mean I never put much stock in it till I started watching Doctor Whooves and got totally adicted, I tried writing afew fan-fics myself, but well, lets just say while I may be good on the creative side, I suck on the technical side of writing." She said, blushing.

"Oh well, I mean c'mon its just for fun, not like people get serious about it or anything, right?" Derpy asked.

"Oh no no no no no Derpy, you must never say that!" "Some fanfic writers get really mad if you do that, not to mention many wish to be actual writers some day themselves!" They take it very VERY seriously!.

"Oh, well, sorry, I didn't know" Derpy said sheepishly. "Do, do you want to be a writer Carrot Top?" She asked.

"Well" CT said blushing. "I, kind of would like to write a cook book or two, maybe some sci-fi or fantasy novels, but, again, i'm really no good at it."

"Oh I see, well, don't give up, i'm sure you'll be able to do that someday!" Derpy said giving her friend a big ol smile.

"But, until then" Derpy said with a sly smirk on her face.

"Until then what?" Carrot asked. "LETS WRITE MORE FAN FICTIONS ABOUT OUR PONY FRIENDS!!! OH I KNOW RAINBOW & PINKIE PIES MAGICAL LOVE ADVENTURE! YEAH!!!"

"Oh no... what have I done!?" Carrot Top asked herself as she slapped her hoof against her face. "What have I done!?"

Author's Note:

And then Derpy uploaded all of her romance & gridmark fanfics to the ponynet where they became huge hits, cept the one where she paired up Twilight & Shining Armor, that one got a lot of negative guff, Twilight forced her to take it down in fact.

This story is not meant to be taken seriously at all, i'm bored today, I am venting boredom that is all.

Derpy is probably a better Fan-Fic writer then i'll ever be though XD.

Also yes I do believe Carrot Top/ Golden Harvest is related to the apples, I mean she was at the reunion, and she helps AJ from time to time on the farm. *see Winter Wrap-Up and what not*

I will go back and fix the Grammatical errors of my past fan-fics after Christmas as I find them. Again i'm new at this fan-fic stuff, and I apologize to any one I offend with my errors. Honestly though I don't really take stuff like this seriously, again no offense at all to those who do, in fact you guys that to take it seriously are awesome, and i have wicked mad respect for you! *Pony has some of the best Fan-fics of ANY fandom!"

But yeah, I love writing, and pretty much just using this as practice, I really would like to write a real sci-fi or fantasy book someday, so rest assured I will try my best to improve as I go on, so maybe some day i'll be half way decent! And won't offend people with all my derps!

Anywho hope you enjoy this silly little story I wrote out of boredom, happy holidays, Merry Christmas, and a very happy HearthWarming's Eve to you all!

Edit: Slowly going back and fixing typos. Should have all fan-fics fixed to best of my ability by the end of the year.

Comments

[Regidar]

Isn't meta banned?

[bahatumay]

What is this I do not even

[Rollin Thunder]

Quite amusing I smiled. It was a nice length for a quick fix on my reading addiction. Keep up the good work.

[SpurBrony21]

great way to start joining this site! great work~

[sharpshadow]

The heck is gridmark? And Twi wanted that fic removed 'cause she doesn't want ponies to know the truth.

[AppleSeed454]

1846737 Well from what I've heard gridmark is what some ponies call darker more violent fan fics. Although i'm pretty sure the only gridmark Derpy ever successfully wrote was the ManeHatten Muffin Massacre. Those poor Muffins, they didn't stand a chance!

[AppleSeed454]

1846418 Thanks for the compliment. Although I know I still have a ways to go before i'm half as good as most people on this site. Guess i'll stick to short silly stuff till then.

[Colt Vulpes]

1845436 Meh. I'm no expert (or mod), but I'd say it's fine.
• It never mentions FimFiction by name.
• It actually takes place in-universe, and Dinky points out that what Derpy's doing isn't really a fanfic from their perspective.
• It's just too funny / awesome to ban.

[Colt Vulpes]

Man, this was great! It really gave me a laugh.
And of course, Derpy is best pony!

[Regidar]

1847905 That last point is up to debate, but I accept your other points.

[supertrentyguy]

LOL I love this story, it was like derpy trying to imitate pewdiepie in scribblenauts. It's like he types in something sexual, then deletes it, sort of like how derpy keeps writing sexual stories! XD

[Dash Aradele]

LOLOLOLOL!!!

[sharpshadow]

1974770
I know what grimdark is. What I don't know is what a gridmark is.