The Truth Revealed
The moon and stars shone brightly through the dark night, above the Everfree forest. It was a cool summer’s night, and just like most nights, there was not a cloud in the sky. The only sounds to be heard though the beautiful darkness, were those of bristling leaves or that of the air flowing off a single unmoving pegasus. Seeming to hang in the air as though on strings, the pegasus mare glided ever so slowly into a clearing by an old abandoned castle.
Upon landing, there was a flash of green flame, and instead of the body a pegasus standing in the clearing, it was that of something much less natural. The changeling paced around the small clearing, clearly having something on her mind. For years, this had been a secret, and now her whole world would come crashing down. All the friends she had would hate her, her home would be taken, and she would most likely be banned from ever returning to Equestria. Yes, there was definitely some heavy thinking she had to do. The longer she waited to tell her friends what she truly was, the heavier the consequences would be once they found out.
If somepony has the opportunity to make a life for themselves, even at the cost of hiding a part of what you physically are, then shouldn't they take it? Or should they let it slip by, wondering what it would be like to have such a good life.
This pony had decided to take the risk, realizing that she was a mistake; she knew she had to spend the resting of her life trying to prove otherwise. But every time she thought about where she came from, she knew she could never truly amount to anything. She was the abandoned daughter of defenseless stallion, and a hungry changeling. How could that ever come to amount to anything more than a sequestered life of secrets?
There was no harm in it at first; flight school had gone by flawlessly, well other than being kicked out early on bad behavior. She had become a weather pony, and had bought a comfortable home near her only true friend.
Then things started to take a turn for better and for worse. A unicorn pony named Twilight had shown up, and become good friends with her along with several other ponies she knew, but never really connected with. This mutual relationship drew them together into a tight group of friends.
Having friends wasn't the problem; it was the magical gifts bestowed upon them from the princess. The Elements of Harmony were needed to defeat several foes in the first few months, but not even that had changed the life she had. Not until last week that is, when the changeling attack happened. How does one go about not looking like they being cast away by a spell with all of the other changelings? Having a cocky attitude helps a lot, saying that you gave chase. But what sold it was the sonic Rainboom, having preformed one while being cast away by an immensely powerful spell.
She wasn't your ordinary changeling, because she ate actual food. She was a half-ling, half pony, half changeling. She didn't feed off of emotions, and she could change form to whatever disguise she chooses, not just too preexisting ones. Therefore, she could be her own pony. But how long would it take for someone to realize?
There was now a small rut worn in a circle around the clearing. "What if they don't accept me?" She wondered, as she began the transformation back into her "normal" self. A few seconds of green flame later, a normal looking pony stood in the clearing.
Rainbow dash stretched her wings, and took off once again, continuing to try and figure out how to tell her friends.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a few days’ time, the protection barriers would be cast around all of the towns in Equestria, thus protecting everypony forever on form another invasion of changelings. Rainbow still hadn't decided what to do about the issue, as she lay on the edge of a cloud, slowly drifting off to sleep. The main reason she hadn't come out and said anything yet was mostly because of the nightmares that would come to her every night. Tonight however, they were much worse than normal. The nightmares were so saddening in fact that they got the attention of the ever attentive night guardian.
Character change
Slowly Luna materialized in the dream and looked around to see a dark cave with one very sad, very scared looking pony on the floor. Disembodied heads floating in circles around her.
"You'll never be a real pony! Just leave and never come back!" Yelled a light purple head with dark purple mane.
"Ya'll don't deserve to live here and have friends. You’re just a monster!" Said another orange head with blonde mane.
"I can't believe I ever threw a party for you! Not one but dozens, I trusted you!" This this time it was a Pink head bouncing up and down.
As Luna could only see and communicate with dreams, not thoughts, she had absolutely no idea what was going on. But none the less, she was horrified upon seeing someone she cared about having such horrible dreams about being shunned by her friends.
Luna came out of the dream, and took flight towards Ponyville. She had to wake her saddened friend Rainbow Dash up before this continued. Meanwhile, Rainbow had awoken with a start at that last comment, and decided to go to the clearing again to think.
As Luna approached the cloud home, she saw something out of the corner of her eye. She went around the house in time to see a fading rainbow trail lead off in the direction of the forest. "She must have woken up without me needing to fly all this way. But why is she going to the Everfree alone? And at night!" Luna thought to herself, "I'll just follow her and find out what’s bothering her so much" And with that she set off following rainbow trail.
Change character
Dash didn't actually change into her natural form for a while, walking around the clearing in her disguise thinking how much better it would be if she could just force that there half of her away and never see it again. She decided it was time to let the disguise drop, knowing that it was far more comfortable to walk around naturally then using a small amount of effort constantly during the day. As she began to relax and let the disguise drop, she was unaware that there was someone watching.
There was a flash of green, and she was herself again, stretching and feeling lighter due to the many holes in her legs. Then something caught her eye, a large black mass jumping out of the bushes. It was too late to duck or run, and it bashed into her, throwing her off her hooves. Then the thing pinned her to the ground.
"What has thou done with Rainbow Dash!?" A familiar Royal Canterlot voice bellowed. Her horn beginning to glow.
"Wait!" Rainbow yelled, "I can explain everything, just don't do anything to me!"
Luna's horn darkened, the magic dissipating away. "We shall ask thee one more time, what hast though done with Rainbow Dash?" She demanded.
"There is no Rainbow Dash; she is just a name and a face I made up so I could have a normal life in Equestria." Rainbow sighed; tears began flowing down her cheeks. "She is I, as I am her. We are the same. But you might as well banish me now, because noponies ever going to believe me." She said, laying her head on the ground in submission.
"Explain why thy Rainbow Dash we know would do such a thing, and I might just believe you." Luna said. Could this really be Rainbow Dash, or is it just a lame excuse this changeling is using until there is an opportunity to escape?
"I was the abandoned daughter of a helpless stallion, and a hungry changeling. That is why I made up Rainbow Dash. I am a changeling, but also a pony, so I made my own identity, and moved to where my one and only friend lived years ago, I have been living a lie ever since. Please Luna you have to understand what’s it's like to be outcast based on appearance!"
"We do indeed know what it’s like, but Rainbow, living a life with such a large secret is not a good one, thou need to tell everypony." Luna said softly.
"So you believe me!" Rainbow said, peering up at the princess, wiping away the tears.
"Yes we do, because we saw thy's dream earlier, we also know why thou fears revealing the truth, and let me take a large amount of that fear away by assuring you that you will not be banished, or interrogated for impersonating somepony. We realize that you truly just want to be yourself." Send me a letter in a few days telling me all about it, although we do believe we will read about parts of it from Twilight's letters first." She said with a small chuckle. "Good luck Rainbow Dash."
And with a flash of dark blue, she vanished into the night. Rainbow turned back into her disguise and flew home, "Tomorrow will be the day I reveal my true self to everypony."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Change character
The doors burst open to the throne room. It was quite early as a large dark alicorn made its way over to the throne, where princess Celestia was sitting.
"Sister, we have an urgent matter to tell thou about. There is a changeling living in Ponyville." Luna said.
"I know. I just received letter from Twilight Sparkle that she believes there is one around, but has yet to confirm. We shall need to fly down at once and activate the spell." Celestia stated calmly.
"We already know who it is Tia, but first thou must listen." Luna said, knowing it was up to her to save the life of Rainbow Dash.
"I'm listening, but if you know who it is, then we should prepare to capture them and throw them out of Equestria."
"You can't." Luna yelled.
"What’s this about Luna?" Celestia said questioningly.
"The changeling in Ponyville isn't impersonating anyone; it is someone making their own life."
"You and I both know changelings can only assumes others identities, not create their own."
"That’s if it's only a changeling, Rainbow is only half changeling" Luna said, quickly covering her mouth with her hoof, realizing what she had said.
"Did you say, Rainbow Dash? We must find the real one immediately!" Celestia began to order the guards to prepare her chariot.
"She is the real Rainbow Dash, hasn't thou ever wondered who her parents were! They were a pony and a changeling! And we will not let you throw her out!"
Tia sat back down. "And how can you be certain that this is the real Rainbow Dash?"
"Because thy sister, we went into her dreams, and saw it, all of it. How she worried about being rejected and shunned, being cast away like the rest of them. We know she is true in her heart, we have spent many nights in her dreams silently watching her fly, and although she says she wants to be a Wonderbolt, we have seen that the only dream she has is living out the rest of her life in Ponyville with all of her friends." Luna was crying.
Celestia was speechless, how had she not known that there was a Halfling living in Equestria for so long? But her sister seemed sincere, and that was all the proof she needed to know that there would be no banishing today. "Calm down Luna, I believe you and have decided to see how this ends. Although if you truly love her, I would be there when she tells her friends. Just in case they take unkindly to it."
"Thank you sister, for listening and believing in me. I can assure you that the Rainbow Dash you know is the one and only one, and we know we must protect her from harm. We have had similar experiences with being cast away because of thy appearances." Luna said, hugging her sister. Then a dark blue flash and she was gone.
Luna sat in the top of the town hall watching the day go by, deciding it would be better to not intrude unless necessary.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was mid-morning, and five ponies stood in a kitchen of the library, slowly sipping coffee, and wondering why they had all been called here by Dash.
Rainbow walked slowly, shakily through the door.
"What is this all about dear?" questioned Rarity.
"Ya, what ya'll want, I need to be getting back to work soon." Applejack said.
They started to notice Dash shake harder, try to hold back tears.
"What’s the matter Rainbow?" Fluttershy said barley above a whisper.
"Come one Rainbow, you can do this. What’s the worst that could happen?"
"There’s something I need to tell all of you. Something I've kept secret from anypony my entire life." She said, in a shaky voice. "Well I guess I might as well get this over with and just show you...."
There was a flash of green and there, standing before the five ponies, was a changeling. There were five gasps and hoofsteps could be heard as they moved back. A dark purple aura covered Rainbows body as she was hoisted into the air.
"What have you done with our friend?" Fluttershy was the first to speak, and it was a yell. "I want you to tell us where the real Dash is right now!"
"I’m right here. I've always been right here" Rainbow said, crying.
After several hours of interrogating, tears, and getting the same responses, there was a crash as the changeling was thrown out one of the windows.
"I never wanna see ya'll around here again ya understand!" Applejack yelled out the window. And slowly the changeling flew off towards the Everfree, Leaving nothing behind but a trail of tears.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Poppinfresh · 1.8k words · 37 1 · 1.5k views
- Morganville · 5.2k words · 47 9 · 4.3k views
- Nuhri1995 · 2.9k words · 21 1 · 1k views
- TwiwnB · 4.5k words · 13 3 · 794 views
- TakaBlueMoon · 5.4k words · 23 3 · 1.3k views
- Luna Plays Minecraft · 6k words · 44 3 · 2.1k views
- Cinnamon Clover · 5k words · 21 10 · 2.3k views
- TheRoadofGenerations · 1.8k words · 35 0 · 1.2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.203 seconds
Total duration
1,018 users online
1,673,916 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
You never do know where they're hiding, do you?
This is a pretty interesting take on the whole "X is changeling" style story.
You have my attention.
nooooou ! plss make another chapter where they'll understand
Saw this storyline before, but a totally different take, wow, AJ's an asshole and Luna may be a lesbian. *Cocks gun and points to head* TOO COMPLEX!
It's a good idea, and moderately well written, but you need to smooth it out some, and some of the ponies seem slightly OOC, however, the situation and further story might call for that, so it can be forgiven. My advice? Get yourself some editors. I didn't catch any glaring mistakes, so you are doing pretty well with that, but you should get some proofreaders just in case. I would be happy to help, because I see potential in this story.
Wow Luna great work in helping Rainbow Dash, you got her kicked out of Ponyville
That instantly reminded me of a song
[youtube=AF5WZ64bnIo]
must have another chapter.now!!!!
i'm gona fucking kill you aj.
I really like this idea, but I'm gonna list all the problems with this right here.
- The words 'Character change'. Usually people just use line breaks for that. It's not a preference, it's basic story formatting.
- If you can't handle the dialect, don't bother with it.
- The pacing is entirely too fast.
- Spelling and grammar errors are sprinkled throughout.
The problems seem to suggest that either English isn't your first language or you're unused to writing prose. I recommend you get yourself a good editor.
1843432
Thanks for the comments, like I said I'm fairly new to free-writing stories. Also I'm still figuring out how to have editors be able to read it first. Once I finish the second chapter I would greatly appreciate it if you and Kingtiger666 would take a look before I post. I'm Open to pretty much any suggestions.
1843474
Love the profile picture,
where can I get a much larger version? New desktop background ftw
This is the only size
sorry
1844726
If you have the editors on board already, using Google Documents on the Drive is a damn good method to allow them access to look over your story as you write it. From there, it's really easy to import the google document over into the chapter upload section as well.
As far as this, I'll be reading it tomorrow and if I have any thoughts on it I'll gladly leave them for you.
1844726 just go ahead and pm me when you need my help. I will be on pretty much every day, except possibly Christmas.
Okay, semi solid start here. Some notes for you though.
'Character Change' - This is VERY awkward to see. Some more common methods for perspective changes...
These are just three examples of what you can do to present this to use in a much cleaner method. Also, Center Align is your friend when using something other than extra line breaks.
Speed/Pacing - Honestly, you could have gotten more than double the words that you currently have, and have it flow much better. For example, the opening scene is Dash pacing in the forest before changing back. You could have easily added a bit more information as to her heritage, making it more obvious to the readers, rather than a one liner. The segue with Luna watching in on Dash's dream, her chase of Dash, and then her confrontation of Dash. Again, you BARELY give enough details here, and it is like we are running a 100 meter dash. Point A to Point B, with nothing in between.
Don't get me wrong though, while it kind of works, you are hurting yourself by not taking advantage of the spaces between these scenes and filling them out some more, as it allows you to drop small amounts of info here and there, which lets you do many things. From avoiding Info dumps in future chapters, dropping foreshadowing of future events, etc, it just adds a lot more to the story overall.
Your dialogue is somewhat clunky at times, or slightly broken. This and the next thing, grammar mistakes, can be easily remedied with an editor. See my previous comment about Google Documents for how to work these better, another eye or two will go a long way.
Hope this helps, I'm also in the somewhat new to writing, but was lucky enough to have two wonderful folks helping me out from the start. Those editors can work wonders for ya.
1843293Nopony expects the Spanish Inquisition!! Or changelings, but at least changelings remember their lines.
new chapter plz NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Need more
Need more of this, this is a good story so far. Poor Dash, Luna why didn't you go in the moment the yelling started?
MAOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
t-the-the grammar, IT BURNS ME LIKE POISON!
Naw honestly man Ive seen worse, but see into some prereaders, and it feels like you are rushing it all, the Luna encounter was over before I really noticed it began, and the encounter with the other five was over in about 8 short sentences...Take your time LunaDash, you are writing about my favorite ship, your certainly not gonna lose my attention and I doubt anyone elses. If people aren't used to waiting for some time for an event to happen, then they better damn get used to it before they start reading some of the better fics that are here. SO PLEASE, it is perfectly fine if you build tension, and then really bring down the emotion in an event, just please don't rush. This story has some great potential, but ive seen too many other writers rush through their story, bringing a story that could have been brilliant, to a good one..
Bad grammar, a few spelling slips here and there, and a fair number of characters repeating the same thing two or three times.
All that needs seeing to and fixing. You might want to get a proof reader or editor.
But as for the story itself, it's a good idea and I look forward to seeing how it goes.
Well....... that was unexpected
Rainbow the changeling, nice story, but you must write more (but I understand if your having writers block 
)
Its been nearly a year now....I'm guess theres going to be no update?
APPLEJACK!!!!! Grrr . . . Idoit . . .
Is this story dead?
need more please
Great story. I hope you, the author decides to continue this story. I look forward to reading more.