Twilight's dreams have recently been plagued by an unidentifiable evil, which threatens her very sanity, and possibly, her very life. Having no one else to turn to, she seeks the aid of her mentor, in hopes that her mind, and her body, may once again be freed.
(Contains some blood and violent situations.)
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Overall a very good story, so have a spike or five.
Enjoyable quick read, good job!
Thatwassuuperrtotallyawsomeeeee!
Have a smile or two.. or five... or... 10?
Great ending! And you thought it was rubbish.. so here, a facehoof.
Good but disappointed that there wasn't some epic battle, but there you go
wishing someone would'a died. reactions would have been cool
Thanks for the positive feedback! I'll be sure to take these into account on future projects!
Too descriptive. You tell me things happen, which makes for very dry reading. At times, it feels like a list—"this happened, then this happened, then this also happened".
You need to Show, not tell—a skill, which I, admittedly, struggle with.
Also, Twilight apoligises "for all the things she's done". Except, she didn't really do anything—she mocked the princesses, cast some magic on Spike, put the girls in a cage, mocked the princesses again, and then stabbed Spike. Really, the only bad thing she's done is that last item, and Spike survived, so all's well that ends well.
Otherwise, a fairly decent story. Giving it a like.