Rainbow and Farmers

Source

Rainbow Dash has had trouble sleeping due to vivid dreams she has.
She talks to Rarity to see if they could find the source of her dreams ... And maybe make them a reality.

My entry in the Secret Pony Fic 2012 by Bookplayer,

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 22 )

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PinkPearl

PinkPearl #1 · Dec 24th, 2012 · 1 · ·

i like this, can you write more? it's a great starting point. if not, could i take over?

Sorren

Sorren #2 · Dec 24th, 2012 · 2 · ·

Are you writing paragraphs or are you writing sentences and then hitting enter every time you finish one. Needs more flavor text and needs to rely much less on dialogue. And try to avoid capslock as a whole. It just looks bad.

dormagio

dormagio #3 · Dec 24th, 2012 · 1 · ·

This is adorable.

Kickback

Kickback #4 · Dec 24th, 2012 · 1 · ·

Hmm, spelling needs work but still this is nice

Rainbow87dash

Rainbow87dash #5 · Dec 24th, 2012 · 1 · ·

YEAH!!! MACDASH!!! Love it

alexphoenixwing

alexphoenixwing #6 · Dec 24th, 2012 · · ·

1847484 While I am thinking about improving this chapter, I don't have any plans for continuing the story. As for 'taking over' I think it's better to make a similar but different chapter to start the story then just continue on from mine. Although I am flattered about the offer.

1847759 It's the way I taught myself to write my stories. I find it keeps the dialogue somewhat clean and prevents a wall of text. I do admit I tend to focus on dialogue as it is easier for me to write. The caps lock complaint I don't really get, the only 'caps lock' I used was when Rainbow was trapped in the barn and that was for shouting or a couple of words needing emphasis.

1848388 Thank you

1848526 English isn't my first language, and I do tend to slip up or the auto-correct corrects the words wrong.

1848883 Glad you liked it..

I do have to ask those who have or would have down-voted the story, what is the main reason?
Spelling, style, dialogue, the paragraphs, the story? I would like to know what my weak(er) points are so I can improve.

Autocharth

Autocharth #7 · Dec 25th, 2012 · 1 · ·

Sorry about not commenting immediately, I only had time to download the txt version and send to my kindle before I had to leave, since its christmas right now and was christmas eve last night here (Australia). Over all I enjoyed the story and it was quite the satisfying read. Considering that I now know from your previous comment that English isn't your first language I appreciate the effort that must have gone into this. Thank you for writing it, I really liked it.

Mayojar77

Mayojar77 #8 · Dec 25th, 2012 · 1 · ·

Well, RD, that's what you get for sharing your secret crush with Rarity of all ponies.
It works out after a period of embarrassment.

CutieMarkChallenged

CutieMarkChallenged #9 · Dec 25th, 2012 · 1 · ·

I like the idea of RD/BM, but this just keeps staying further and further from what i expected.
There are few stories that make me jump up and run from the room. Congrats, this is one. I'm not trying to be rude....i just thought it would be a LOT more subtle and slow.

alexphoenixwing