It's early in morning at Sweet Apple Acres. The sun is rising , the birds are singing and Rainbow Dash is sleeping in Big Macintosh's bed and wait what?!
When Applejack discovers her friend sleeping in her brother's bed, Rainbow Dash has got a lot of explaining to do.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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It's a nice little story. Nothing much else to say.
cute story found this for you “Why do you love me my brother?” [ ???]
Sometimes it's just really good to read a slice of life and this is an amazing example
An honest mare huh? Gee, I wonder who that could be?
I really enjoyed this story. Short and swwt, love the SoarinJack in there. Keep up the good work
Had a real unlucky day today and after this, I can say it was really lucky that the Macindash category got a new story in it, great read, made my day, go you!
And who are you suggesting? Really, I don't see anything between the lines. Unless you've written a SoarinJack story I'm unfamiliar with.
Dreadnought
Cute, but too much tense confusion. For example:
Walks, gave, whispered, walks. One paragraph, and we've got both present and past tense. It should look like one of the following:
All present tense:
All past tense:
And of the two, I'd personally recommend the latter as more standard for easily readable fiction.
Cute story, but as I have seen in the comments, it needs a fair amount of editing to polish it up.