Tales of the Equestrian Mock War

by Sebbaa

Chapter 3: You are fighting a war now, deal with it!

Since I already drew ponies in a duel for my day two submission, I decided to write another chapter on this story instead. Hope you don't mind. ;)

Chapter 3: You are fighting a war now, deal with it!
“Yo, dweeb! Hurry up and take your beating like a good little pony, I've got places to be!"
Some overconfident griffon had landed right in front of me and drawn a pair of daggers with his claws. His mistake, I was pissed beyond belief and had just waited for one of them flying chicken to get in reach of my sword. I reared on my hind legs and raised my claymore, then came down in a crushing overhead blow. The griffon had not expected this response, instead of dodging he just managed to raise his daggers in defense. The one and a half meter foam and glass fiber of my blade crushed though his weapons like the toys they were and took out both of his fore legs. He stumbled and fell to the ground, unable to lift his body anymore.
“Go on then, I won't keep you!” I snarled between clenched teeth and brought my sword down on his head. A bright light flashed as the battlefield spell considered him dead and teleported his body away, leaving his gear behind.

At this point I think I should explain what I mean with battlefield spell. If you are not interested in the technical details of the Mock War, just skip this paragraph.
The Mock War is not only a game to celebrate seven hundred years of piece, but also the only military maneuver of Equestria. Yea, seven hundred years of piece can do that to a country. I think it's cool. Now because this is the only battle experience their troops are gonna get, the ponies took some effort to get the most out of it.
Every piece of our gear had been enchanted, from our weapons and armor, down to our very bodies. It was all done so it would simulate wounds infected by weapons without actually wounding anypony. If you hit someone with your sword and the blow would have penetrated the armor if it had been a real weapon or you hit an exposed spot, then the spell would simulate a wound. It was not as bad as it sounds. When you got hit you felt an electric shock just strong enough to be painful. Then the hit body-part would go limb. If the blow would have killed you, the spell teleported you outside of the battle-zone, leaving your gear behind. If you were just wounded the effect was very annoying and could lead to some real mishaps, for instance if you got hit in the leg while galloping. Thankfully ponies are very resilient, so nopony got really hurt. The wound spell would fade if you made it to the sick bay and a unicorn cast the correct healing spell or used the right potion on you.
Furthermore there were spells to prevent injuries by other means. There was one spell on my hooves that allowed me to buck the shit out of a griffon and send it flying high up in the sky without hurting it. I liked that one a lot! Another one prevented injuries from falling one something or something falling one you. This one saved the lives of hundreds of pegasi when they fell out of the sky on the first battle because they got hit on their wings. This spell basically declared you dead to the battlefield spell and you were teleported to safety.

Back to the battlefield! Things were looking dire. Our formation had been broken, everywhere lay wounded ponies or the remains of their equipment. The ground was drenched in jelly and whipped cream. I could not shed the feeling, that the griffons were mocking us with this use of slapstick weaponry. (Then again it is called the mock war. We were using tennis balls and water ballons though.) Every order of battle had been lost and it had deteriorated to one on one fights and local skirmishes. I shook my head to clear it and form some kind of plan. How had everything gotten so out of hoof?

It had started so well!
Our training had lasted for about a week and I was astonished by my own progress and that of my fellow earth ponies. I had gotten in shape faster than I could ever think was possible. I was far from ripped and packed with muscles at the end of the training, but I had toughed up. Marching all day long in armor and with stones in the backpack? No problem! Galloping ten miles in full plate? Child’s play! I figured later that it had something to do with earth pony magic.
Let me give you are short excuse on earth pony magic. Everything an earth pony does with its body, everything that it makes with its hooves is enhanced by magic. Plant will grow faster if we water them, not because of the water, but because it was us earth ponies who did it. Food will taste better, steel will be stronger. Most earth ponies are not even aware of this. They just do it unconsciously.
So I figured that we were working this magic on our own bodies through the act of training.
Sure the drill had some effect on the pegasi and unicorns as well. The pegasi mastered flight in amazing short time and the unicorns learned many an impressive spell, but only on the earth ponies was the effect visible. I am proud to say that we earth ponies didn't need airbrush for our 300 six-pack. (not that ponies got a six-pack.) Even Richard filled out his armor by the end of training!

On the morning of the first day of battle, Princess Celestia, the Griffon High King and an ancient dragon held a short speech. They introduced themselves as the games judges, overlooking the rules of the war and maintaining the battlefield spells. They reminded us to play hard but fair an keep in mind that this was a game to celebrate the friendship between the two nations. The three would not be involved in any of the fighting.

That left Princess Luna as our factions military leader, our marshall. Oh how glorious she looked in her shining silver armor when she spoke to the troops! I will never forget the sight of her blowing night sky mane or the majesty in her Royal Canterlot Voice.
I always imagined myself to be a pretty bold guy, that I would stand up and look into a Kings eyes like an equal. But when the princesses spoke, everypony went to its knees, me included. They just had this aura of power about them. You could fell it in your bones that you were not looking upon mortals, but goddesses.
But I swear it was only this one time! Every other one I kept my composure and remained on my hooves. How could I ever have expected Luna to take me seriously if I cowered before her in the dirt? (oh... spoilers. Never mind.)

I don't remember the speech itself very well, but I know that it had been very inspiring! When we stood in formation before the first battle, rows and rows of ponies in shining armor, my chest swelled with pride and I was confident that we would be victorious.
Oh how wrong I had been!

We were standing in tight formation when the first jelly bombs hit us. I first thought that this was the enemy artillery, but I was wrong! I looked up when the first fell pegasi from the sky and vanished in bright flashes. High above us the battle had already begun. The griffons were taking out our air forces while high altitude bombing our ground troops. The first griffons dived into our unicorn artillery in the back. Finally they descended upon us front row troops. They struck us form above and behind. Four of the ponies around me were taken out by plates of whipped cream to the back.
“Take cover!” I yelled and pulled my shield overhead. Many followed my example, but it did us little good. The ranks wavered, ponies were running around, while all the while bombs dropped all around us and griffins came down for swooping attacks. I think it was my armor and the fact that I remained calm that saved my hide on the initial onslaught. Plate upon chain mail and the experience of countless larp battles had its advantages.

As I said, the battle had deteriorated to one on one combat and skirmishes when I took out that one griffon. By know they had become bold enough to face us on the ground and the battle was raging all around me, ponies were falling left and right. I shook out of my stupor and decided to to something, anything! General Dizzy hadn't made me captain so I could watch my ponies get beaten right in front of me!
I rested my sword on the ground, holding the handle in mouths reach on my front hoof.
“Panzer Lance! Gather round me, Shiltron formation!” I shouted over the cacophony of the battle. But nopony headed my call. They were all tangled up in single combat.
“Horse-apples!” I cursed and took my claymore back in my teeth. I proceed to gather my ponies one by one by smashing their opponents with a blow from their blind side and dragging them along. I had soon gathered them all. Only six of the original ten of my Lance were still in the game. Their heavy armor had protected them well enough. We didn't call ourselves Panzer Lance for nothing!
“Shiltron formation! Just like we practiced, now!” I yelled once again and this time they hastened to form a circle with me in the middle, their weapons pointing outwards in every direction.
If you wonder, a Shiltron is a formation used by the Scottish during the Scottish war of independence in the late thirteens century. It works very much like a hedgehog and is able to fight in any direction.
Now normally a Schiltron of six ponies can't do much on a battlefield. But as I said before, the battle had deteriorated to skirmishes and single combat. So wherever we went, we were a crushing six to one superiority. We swatted griffons left and right, either taking them out or forcing their retreat. Every pony we saved this way was ushered into our formation and integrated in our circle, not matter if earth pony, pegasi or unicorn. By the end of the battle we had assembled two dozen mixed troops in our formation. Unicorns shot their water balloons from our protected middle, pegasi circled overhead, shielding us from above and forcing griffons in reach of our swords. This way we took out more griffons than I could count. It was glorious!
The battle ended when a horn sounded and the griffons turned back. Me and my fellow ponies roared in triumph! But the reality was much different. We had lost about third of our troops that day. For every griffon defeated there were lying four suits of pony armor.
I spat onto the ground and stomped in anger when I realized this! I swore on my blue beard and Celestias flowing mane, that we would get them the next time! And I had just the idea how we might pull that off.

Comments

[Öthnæar]

An interesting concept. One that I can relate to as a larper myself.
I'm looking forward to how this plays out.

Also, nice saying in the first chapter. Very true.

[Jeff Belinger]

If you say blitzkrieg, I'm totally going nuts. It's a gamble maneuver but when it's successful, we know what it can do. I know, i have french ascendency and I do admit the German offensive of France was truly smart. Having a pincer and cornering the French near the Italian border was brillian.

[Sebbaa]

161424 Heh, sorry but I don't think a Blitzkrieg tactic is possible in the szenario I came up with. You can judge that for yourself, when I put up the next chapter this evening. (That is the plan at least. But you know: No plan survives enemy contact. )

[Öthnæar]

Although blitzkrieg is a great tactic, I can see more of a bonzai charge situation here.