Quizzical
Chapter 5 – Something Awesome
“I know you did thsomething,” said Twist, as Quiz led the small band of fillies to the rocky barrens outside Ponyville. “It lookths really nice.”
“Thank you, Twist,” said Quiz. Twist had been trying to guess just what had changed about Quiz through the entire long walk.
“It’ths more than just the bow, though that looks real pretty. Did you change the part?”
“Yes, yes I did,” said Quiz. Despite herself, she was enjoying her new hairstyle.
“And you added some curl thsomewhere. Did you curl your bangs?”
“Yes, Twist.” Rarity had told her that the style change was subtle, but all of Twist’s questions reminded Quiz of just how forgettable her appearance had been. “We are here. Let us set up.”
Quiz and Sweetie Belle had made the mistake of telling their friends about the experiment with magic and singing, and the other fillies had become incredibly excited. They were jealous of Sweetie Belle and wanted to do something, too. They didn’t know what they wanted to do, they just knew they wanted to do “something awesome!”
So Quiz had designed an experiment for them.
During the long walk everyone’s enthusiasm had waned a bit. Everyone’s, that is, except Quiz’s.
“Sweetie Belle, stand the emerald on this large, flat rock,” directed Quiz. She began drawing something on the outcrop with a piece of chalk.
Sweetie Belle produced a small green gem from her bag and stood it on the boulder, propping it up pebbles to make it stand on end.
“Does Rarity know you took that?” asked Scootaloo.
“Nope,” said Sweetie Belle. “Rarity’s out of town again. So we have to get it back safe, so Rarity never finds out. The emerald will be safe, won’t it, Quiz.”
“I hypothesize that it will not be damaged. However, there are many unknowns involved…”
“Ah’m starting to think this isn’t such a good idea,” said Apple Bloom
“Caution is advisable,” agreed Quiz. “That is why you three will observe from that ditch at the edge of this outcrop. It will serve as a bunker; there will be several tons of rock between you and the spell.”
“Ah like the sound of that. What about Sweetie Belle?”
“Normally, the caster will not be harmed by their own spell. Just as a precaution, she will stand in the protective circle I have made,” said Quiz. “It should protect her from any side effects of the spell.”
Sweetie Belle peered at the strange chalk circle, dubiously. “This thing really works?”
“I received highest marks in Protective Magic,” said Quiz. “However, I have never tested this under field conditions.”
“What have you tested it against?” demanded Scootaloo.
“In class, I was able to deflect a thrown ball of paper. And resist the heat from a small Bunsen burner.”
“And what are these ‘side effects’ you mentioned, now?” asked Apple Bloom.
“There should be none. Sweetie Belle should be able to stop the spell before anything unexpected happens. Out of control chain reactions are very rare events…”
“So, what’s the worst case scenario?” asked Scootaloo.
“Fire, lightning, concussion waves…” muttered Quiz. “I did mention that there are many unknowns involved...."
“Wow,” gasped Scootaloo. “This could be really cool.”
“Ith that why we are all the way out here?” asked Twist.
“No, we are way out here hiding,” said Quiz. “We are calling upon strange elemental energies to perform experimental magic for which there is very little theory. If Miss Twilight finds out about this we are all grounded for life.”
They all took a moment to let that sink in.
“Ith it thafe to be thith far from town?” asked Twist. “Thith ith where the diamond dogs live.”
Some of the fillies looked around at that, as if expecting to see diamond dogs hiding in the bushes.
“Oh, diamond dogs don’t like to mess with ponies anymore,” said Sweetie Belle. “And if they do give us any trouble I’ll just tell them who my sister is.”
“One last time,” said Apple Bloom. “Explain just what exactly are we doing?”
“Sweetie Belle seems to use song as a focusing tool,” said Quiz, patiently. “Gems resonate at certain frequencies of sound. If Sweetie Belle calls her magic, and sings at the resonant frequency of the emerald it should act as an amplifier. Sweetie Belle should summon enough power to cast any spell she wants.”
“Wow,” said Scootaloo again. “I understood that about as much as the first time Quiz explained it."
“Ah’m getting a real bad feeling about this,” said Apple Bloom. Twist nodded.
“I… I understand if you are unwilling to proceed,” said Quiz, her disappointment evident. “We could just go home…”
“Are you kidding?” cried Sweetie Belle, stepping into the protective circle. We have to do this before I chicken out, she thought. “What are we waiting for?”
“I could move the protective circle further back,” offered Quiz.
“I’m plenty far back, I can barely see the emerald,” said Sweetie Belle. “Let’s do this!”
“Cutie Mark Crusaders… Experimental Magicians!”
Quiz replaced her glasses with a pair of tinted safety goggles, “Then let us take our places.”
The three fillies sprinted for the ditch. Apple Bloom noticed that Quiz was still standing right beside the boulder. “Quiz!” she called. “Aren’t you going to get in the bunker?”
“Oh, no,” replied Quiz. “I desire an unimpeded view of the experiment. I would not miss this for the world. Sweetie Belle, you may begin."
Sweetie Belle cleared her throat and began working slowly through the scales.
“There!” called Quiz, “That is the note, the emerald is vibrating. More volume, please.”
Sweetie Belle sang more loudly and the emerald began to glow. The glow began to expand.
“More volume, if you can, Sweetie Belle,” called Quiz.
Sweetie Belle had never held a note this long before, but this was effortless. She sang louder
The ball of glowing magic continued to grow. It soon enveloped Quiz.
“Quiz, are you okay?!” yelled Apple Bloom.
"Why, yes,” answered Quiz. They could barely hear her. “I see no cause for alarm.”
The wind began to blow outward from ground zero. The protective spell activated, and Sweetie Belle was surrounded by transparent bubble. The ball of energy continued to grow.
“Is this what you were expecting, Quiz?” shouted Scootaloo.
“Not at all,” she answered. “This is all an astonishing surprise. Louder, if you are capable, Sweetie Bell."
I’ve still got a little more, thought Sweetie Belle. She threw everything she had left into the note.
“This is very interesting,” said Quiz. “Can anyone else see stars?”
Then Sweetie Belle lost control.
The ball of magic energy collapsed and became a ring, then a wave of power expanding outward at the speed of sound.
Then… silence.
Three heads peeked over the edge of the outcrop. Each filly shook debris out of their mane.
“That. Was. Awesome!” exclaimed Scootalo.
“Sweetie Belle, are you alright?” called Apple Bloom.
“Yeah,” said Sweetie Belle. She did not have so much as a hair out of place. “But… where’s Quiz!”
Where Quiz had stood were only her goggles and her quill. Charred leafs of notebook paper floated down.
“Quiz! Oh, no, Quiz!” They all began screaming her name.
“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!” cried Sweetie Belle, bursting into tears. “I vaporized Quiz!”
Then a reedy voice from a bush about fifty yards away said, “Well…, that was extraordinary."
“Quiz!” They all ran to her. “Are you okay?”
“I believe I am whole,” said Quiz. They still couldn’t see her through the leaves. “But I shall require aide in extricating myself.”
It took all four of them to free Quiz from the foliage. She was disheveled, but unharmed. “Am I missing an eye brow?” she asked.
“Yeah, you are, Quiz,” said Apple Bloom. “Well, that was sure a short lived make over. It’s a good thing Rarity’s out of town.”
“Oh, no, my bow!” cried Quiz, her hoof going to the side of her head. “Is it safe?”
“Yes, Quiz, it’s only a little smudged,” said Sweetie Belle. She looked at Quiz’s hair critically. “I think we can just comb this out.” Sweetie Belle did not actually sound convinced.
“Quiz, what the hay jutht happened?” asked Twist.
“That is a very good question,” said Quiz. She did not offer anything more.
“Where’s the emerald?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Oh, dear,” Quiz looked at the green dust on her hooves. “I believe I am brushing it out of my coat.”
“No, here it is,” called Scootaloo. “It just fell off the boulder. It isn’t even chipped.”
“Hmmm,” considered Quiz. “It seems that we have both ‘destroyed’ and ‘not destroyed’ the emerald. We have achieved both of the outcomes predicted by Uncertainty. That is, of course, impossible. We should probably not do that again."
“I think we should just never, never, never, never do anything like this again!” cried Sweetie Belle.
“Why?” asked Scootaloo. “This was absolutely radical! Though…” she looked at her blank flank, “it doesn’t look as if we’re cut out to be experimental magicians.”
“I think we were closer than we know,” muttered Sweetie Belle. She spontaneously threw herself at Quiz, squeezing her and burying her face in Quiz’s mane. “Quiz, don’t you dare do anything like that again! And if you do, don’t you dare make me watch you do it! I thought… I thought you were…”
“I promise, Sweetie Belle,” said Quiz. “I am not eager to repeat this experiment. Though it does suggest some very interesting possibilities…”
“Quiz!”
“I promise, Sweetie Belle.” repeated Quiz.
“We should never do this again, and we should never tell anyone about this, ever,” said Apple Bloom.
“We need a Pinkie Promise,” said Twist.
It took a lengthy argument to convince Scootaloo they could not brag about this to everyone they knew; not if they didn’t want to be confined to their bedrooms until they grew up. Then they had to explain to Quiz what a Pinkie Promise was, and how to do it. But eventually they were ready.
“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!”
“Ow,” said Quiz. “Is it traditional to hurt one’s eye while doing this?”
“Yes, Quiz,” said Sweetie Belle, giggling.
#
Twilight watched her young assistant sleeping. Quiz still felt more comfortable leaving the door open.
Quiz had been exhausted, as if she’d walked several miles that day, and she went to bed early and fell into a deep sleep. What had Quiz been doing, Twilight wondered.
She did not, for a second, believe Quiz’s story about losing her eye brow in an accident with a small Bunsen burner. The story did not explain the long bath. It certainly didn’t explain the bright green mud Quiz didn’t want Twilight seeing her rinse out of the tub. But Twilight couldn’t confront the filly without coming right out and calling her a liar. Worse, if a Pinkie Promise was involved (and Twilight was sure this was the case) she would never get the truth out of Quiz.
Twilight told herself that whatever Quiz had gotten into it had probably been a bonding experience for her and her friends. This would make it invaluable, both for Quiz’s research and for her growth. This was more important than staying out of trouble. Eye brows grow back, after all.
Twilight repeated this to herself. She told herself this several times. She never quite completely believed it.
Twilight went to her desk to write.
Dear Princess Celestia,
When I asked for a research assistant I thought all I would have to worry about was the research. I didn’t realize that I would be her guardian, or that I would watch her grow. Frankly, this is a terrifying responsibility.
However, I know that; unless I do something extremely wrong; the end result is going to be something awesome....
Chapter 6 Self Esteem
*sigh* The comment section of my little SFW Young Adult fiction story is filling up with testicle jokes. I shall pout now.
1757979 Sorry about that. I've got to remember to write a comment before posting something epicdonus1123 will see.
My review, courtesy of the Orient Express Explorers. (You can add this story to the group if one more member reviews it.)
Sweet, pathetic, humorous, well-written.
Imagine a pony with Twilight's intellect and Fluttershy's self-confidence. JMac didn't do it that way--Quizzical doesn't remind me of Fluttershy at any point, and though I thought at first that he was trying to out-Twilight Twilight, she isn't very much like Twilight either. Quizzical is not powerful and doesn't have a grand destiny. She's just very, very smart, and certain that no one could possibly be interested in anything she says or does. Twilight would feel hurt if somepony laughed at her. Quizzical just assumes that's the way things are and always will be.
Not that it's a sad story. It begins pathetically, but pretty soon Quizzical makes friends with the CMC, who try to teach her that she's worthwhile. Then... other things happen.
I have only two criticisms of the story. One is that around chapter 7, it suddenly turns from a coming-of-age character study to an adventure story. That's not bad, but it happens a little abruptly. The other is that chapter 1 shows you how boring Quizzical thinks she is, and that's a tough way to write a hook. But stick with this one. It's an expertly written story about a vividly-imagined character. It reminds me a little of the King of Carrot Flowers--the protagonist is terribly alone, and has crumpled all her emotions into a little black ball and shoved it far back into her mind, leaving her with a passionless, unemotional exterior, and the pathos is in what isn't shown--that she doesn't flinch or even change expression when slapped. There's no sudden epiphany in this story, no dramatic transformation from caterpillar into butterfly. She's still shy and withdrawn at the end of the story. But not as much.
Disclaimer: JMac is a real-life friend. But if you know me, you know I don't go easy on my friends' stories. It's just good. And the sequel is possibly even better.
1758204
Just one thing, this is really nit-picky of me, but I see this situation a lot. In the sentence:
Technically it is correct, but it reads awkwardly in the mind. There are two schools of thought on this, but the concept of a/an based on phonetics of the acronym is considered the more popular, and in my opinion superior, choice. So RL, which begins with an R, rather than a vowel, has the sound "ar" thus an is the more fluid term.
More details here: http://www.gpuss.co.uk/english_usage/a_or_an.htm
Department of Syntax National Socialists,
-Onyx
1758344 You're right. I did that because I pronounce "Real Life" in my head when I see RL.
So, having treated myself to a single chapter, I opened up Scrivener and got back to work...only to alt-tab back and go to chapter two. Just so you know, I'm blaming you and you alone on my story being late.
A few comments, as I read it.
A very dry and snarky Pinkie here, I see. And goes so well with Quizzical who is much drier and may be snarky. She has that Captain Carrot quality that makes you wonder how much of it is genuine and how much is a put-on.
Like a punch to the gut, that line. Oh, dear thing, what on Earth was done to you?
Reading this, it occurs to me that Quizzical isn't, even a little bit, boring. So the question becomes, how did she come to believe so firmly that she is? She isn't a monomaniac, either. She expresses a healthy interest in other things, if understated as is her way. And the way she treats, say, Spike and the notion of him doing anything for her is a little bit terrifying. It's like she was taught to make herself as small and as invisible as possible.
Oh, you.
I should think Quizzical is more the Hyneman type, though. Just get a beret from Rarity and get Twilight's Trick #25 to acquire a walrus mustache and you are all set.
Well, I read this story after GhostOfHeraclitus's suggestion in his blog. It is interesting, though suffers from some descriptive (you tend to gloss over the more interesting events and reactions) problems, making the story come across flat a little. Still, it seems good. Keep going.
Well I read this after Georg's suggestion. Loving it.
No zey don't.
1758344>>1758390
Rewrite the sentence! "Jmac is a friend IRL."
1759771 Shaved eyebrows don't, but singed ones come back gnarly and bushy. You may trust me on this.
Well, congrats, your story just got featured!
I would say "see what good friends get you" but on second thought, that sounds like an insult, so... just congrats? (Really though, the story does deserve it despite a few of its flaws, I have seen far more flawed and even horrible fics get featured...)
1760215 Perfect sense. Thank you, very much.
doc-14-6s-docs.googleusercontent.com/docs/securesc/0nkrehpitq8hrprgvomgevk6u3h7cq3a/hi3gtv27ldfrivm91ergk2q7m2ok7c2d/1354960800000/08634185820683155886/08634185820683155886/0ByhhA_EnffW0SXNJcjF1dmlqdWs?e=download
And yet more fan art done via phone. Sorry, but its snowing here and the power is out.
If it blows up.once, try try,try and try again.
It is quite fortunate for Quizzical that they were not, but as last words go,
is on up there.
Now I'm picturing that interaction...
"I'm not completely convinced you're telling me the truth, but I just want to know one thing. Is there a Pinkie Promise involved?"
"Well, yes."
"... Sleep well, Quiz."
The more I read the more sad I get that I didn't read this back in 2012.
But I guess I also didn't actually get into the fanfic part until closer to the end of that year anyway.
5hoursaday.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/tvdiary14.jpg
Oh Twilight, if only you knew the truth...
5516304 I'm a fireeater, trust me after countless blowbacks during breathing practice I learned from experience they really do :p albeit a bit lighter than before
You might want to remove the very last line of this chapter since it is probably a copy-pasta error. It is rthe name of the next chapter.
I don't think this should exist in chapter 5's text .
1759771
ME-E-EDI-I-IC!!! !