Vignettes

by Lucky Roll

Not Much

Not Much

“Ouch! Oh, sorry, didn’t notice you there!”

Sorry, didn’t notice you there. Those words could have been the cornerstone of Carrot Top’s life. Countless times had she heard that sentence and its different variations; she was the kind of pony others tended not to notice. Not out of contempt or carelessness – Carrot Top was simply unremarkable.

She was neither beautiful nor ugly. She was neither clever nor annoyingly dim-witted. She was neither funny nor boring, for the sole reason that other ponies seldom stopped to talk to her, apart from a few formal pleasantries. On the rare occasions when she did get invited to a social event (usually by Pinkie Pie), she mostly just stood and smiled in the background, greeting other guests who largely ignored her, or, more likely, just didn’t notice her. Yes, background: that was the right word to describe her life. No matter the angle from which you viewed any scene involving her, Carrot Top somehow, against all odds, managed to blend into the background, unimportant and unremarkable, like a piece of nice, but by no means necessary set dressing in a play where she’d never have any role.

She had few friends and even fewer enemies, she had few passions and few secrets, and even they were those common everyday secrets which wouldn’t really interest anypony, no matter how anxiously she hid them. She was a kind and polite pony, the typical ‘nice gal’ whom you couldn’t remember five minutes after asking her what the time was or where the souvenir shop was, which she probably couldn’t answer anyway. And why would she? She obviously never visited the souvenir shop, as she didn’t have anypony to send souvenirs to.

Every year she spent a week in a dusty maritime village, tricking herself into believing that she was actually ‘summering at the seashore’. Every year she wrote a postcard to her family; always the same sender, always the same addressees, always the same words. The weather was always lovely and she always wished her family were there, but she always promised to tell them about her holiday when she got home. Carrot Top’s life consisted mostly of tending to her garden, selling her carrots, probably reading some cheap books in her spare time and, when the few friends she had remembered her, having not very long, not very exciting meetings with them. This was Carrot Top: a simple mare living simple dreams.

A simple life devoid of the heights of passion and the depths of despair, yet you never saw her moping about it. She was always smiling, always there when one her few friends needed an ear, never hanging her head in angst. And indeed, why would she do so? Why would her life be less worthy just because she happened to spend more time in solitude and preferred her own thoughts while tending to her own business, instead of going on wild adventures? Who had the right to declare that a quiet life was ultimately less valuable than a loud one?

Carrot Top smiled. “No problem,” she said.

Comments

[Regidar]

"-We came in?"

[Lucky Roll]

1827055
Actually, I never thought that someone from Spain would ever read this. My proofreader did point out that I used the masculine form of bandit, and now it turns out that it's not even spelled right. I say, however, the same thing I said to my proofreader: even though it's incorrect, I wanna keep it that way. It sounds more clichéd, and it's even better, considering that just like me, RD can't speak Spanish either (or whatever Spain's Equestrian equivalent is), so it makes sense she'd misspell it.

...Right?

[Aragon]

1827252

Why the hell didn't FimFic tell me that you'd answered? Anyway, Rarity "el Bandido" sounds cliché enough to work, that's for sure. But I don't like "Bandito" because it sounds like a little strip of clothes XD. I would change it to "Bandido", but whatever, RD doesn't know Spanish so who cares? It's funnier this way.

Hey, now that I think of it, you can't type the Ñ, right? "Spainsh" is "español" in Spanish. And the "ñ" is a letter only we have (it's pronounced like "ny", sorta. Español can be read as Espanyol)

And about the second story... Hmm. Interesting. Carrot Top is just there, she's one of the little things that make Ponyville. I don't think it's a sad life. It's just that it's a simple one. And what's better than a simple life? She's happy on her way. Cute. Although I liked the first story more.

BTW, I just filled you with notifications. HAH.

[Lucky Roll]

1843579
It's funny how now notifications appear instantly, with a sound playing, but you don't see new PMs until you refresh the page or check your emails. Maybe FIMFic didn't apprise you because I'm replying to your original PMs (like I just did), and not sending new ones?

Fun fact: in Hungarian, there's a separate letter (written "ny") which sounds exactly like the Spanish ñ (AFAIK). The more you know!

Anyway, it was the second story I originally wanted to post, but it was under a thousand words, so I quickly scribbled something short and silly and posted the two together. I just wanted to point out that you're the only one who can decide how much is your life worth: at the end, a reserved life is not necessarily worse than an adventurous one.

[Testacc]

Wow... that was... unremarkable...? Lol, jk.

I would like, however to note your excellent wording of the sentences, very good!

[Lucky Roll]

1979695
Thanks!

[Chris]

What's this? You're reading my old stories! Well, let's see how you like it!

This was a pleasant bit of palate-cleanser, I thought. At High Noon was a bit too by-the-numbers for me to really enjoy; it's not that it wasn't funny, it's just that the humor was from basically all the gags I'd expect. But with a story like that, I really appreciate an author who knows not to drag out the joke, and this one didn't stick around long enough to transition from "predictable humor" to "predictable slog."

Not Much, on the other hand, I really liked. Vignette is indeed the proper word for it, as there's not really a story here... but you're not pretending there is, so it'd be silly to judge it on those grounds, wouldn't it? Reminds me of when the judges on cooking shows whine about a dessert being too sweet or something. Anyway, it does a great job of painting an empathetic picture of a character in few words, and what I especially like about it is that it isn't particularly sad. It's just the way things are, and that's... well, it's not perfect, but it's how it is. Maybe it's just because I'm a fan of taking life on its own terms, but I found that very easy to relate to. Nice work, here.

(Oh: Thanks for the nice words about Pokey! It's a story that I still really like the idea of... but every time I look at it, it's painfully obvious to me that it was the first thing I'd written for fun in half a decade, and that I had a lot to learn about writing. Still, it means a lot to me that you were able to take the fic seriously despite the whimsical, Equestria-compliant conflicts--that's exactly what I was going for. And if I'm honest, I still love that epilogue. As for Going Up... well, I wrote it in a week as a child's bedtime story. I honestly have no idea why it's my most popular fic, other than because I tried to pack it as full of humor and lightheartedness as I could and people like that in their fanfics. It's not that I don't like it--I'd say it's one of my better fics--but I don't think it stands head and shoulders above my other stories, the way a lot of people seem to think it does. But hey, who am I to tell people what to like? Anyway, thanks again for the comments! Now, I'm gonna wrap up this ridiculously long post before I think of something else to say.)

[Lucky Roll]

4084205

I hate At High Noon. Not Much was too short to post it on its own, so I had to quickly scribble down something that would make at least a thousand words. The result was one big, clichéd (in the bad way), overused gag. But I'm glad you liked Not Much (maybe the presence of Carrot Top helped, too)!

Going Up is good for what it is: a slice of life story, but I liked the fic about Pokey more, as it could grip me better and had a nice mix of "timeless tragedy" and "silly little ponies". By the way, in the meantime, I read A Simple Little Party, I just didn't comment because I didn't think I had enough constructive criticism to warrant a post. It was a little too straightforward to my tastes: the formula "Luna goes to X pony - X pony annoys her" got obvious very early. It got me thinking, because in the other fic, the fall of Pokey could've been seen coming, too -- but maybe the difference was that The Truth still had twists, or maybe that readers were emotionally more attached to Pokey than to Luna. I personally also like a little comedies, I have to admit. I'm not sure, however, about how much of these claims of mine can be considered objectively a "flaw" and how much of them is just my personal taste.

Or maybe I just don't really like Luna, because I have the (irrational?) feeling that she's painfully overrepresented in the fandom, while poor Celestia doesn't get enough stage time. I always try to keep my prejudices away when reading, and I think I managed it this time, though it's not always easy (especially when I have to read about Trixie). Trixie is the worst.