1: Someday the mountain might get 'em, but the law never will.
Someday the mountain might get 'em, but the law never will.
Chapter published 1st April 2013
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Applejack was not currently a happy mare.
Tonight Big Mac was ‘out with the boys’ and, what with Applebloom and Granny both bein’ settled in early for the night, the cowgirl had been plannin’ on a nice long hot bath, maybe an hour or so of workin’ on her writings, then an early night under soft clean sheets.
Instead she was out here in the cold and wet and dark, traipsing across one of Sweet Apple Acres fallow fields towards an old disused barn.
Turning her head to check behind her she could just make out a cowering butter yellow pegasus at her heels in the dim light cast by the firefly lantern the farm pony held in her teeth.
“’Shy darlin’, You sure it was this barn your critters saw them suspicious folk in?” AJ asked of her shivering friend.
Fluttershy said nothing, her attention darting back and forth between the myriad of noises coming from the nearby tree line and the wavering shadows cast all around the two ponies by the single feeble lantern.
Poking out from the pegasus’ mane stood Angel Bunny, a small stick clasped in his front paws like a club. The combination of furious squeaking and frantic nodding of the rabbit’s head told AJ they were on the right track.
“Well if ya say so.” The cowpony resumed her trek through the night, her companions pushed up so close against her flank she may as well have been carrying them.
As they neared the barn in question, a dim light could just be made seeping through the cracks in the structure’s ancient wooden construction. Getting closer still they could just about hear movement and at least two male voices comin’ from within.
“Well it looks like yer varmint’s mite a’bin right after all.” AJ passed Fluttershy the lantern before moving to swing open the barn door. “This best not be Snips an' Snails gawkin' over fancy fashion magazines again. Let’s just get this open…”
The pegasus watched as her friend used her considerable earth pony strength to near effortlessly wrestle the old door wide open and, while she was unable to see what was going on inside the barn herself, she could easily see the look of surprise that quickly spread across the farmer’s face.
“What'n tarnation are you two doin’ in here?” The farm pony strode into the barn. “This place ain’t been used since Ah were Applebloom’s age.”
Poking her head around the door Fluttershy could just make out in the dim light from a couple of waning lanterns a pair of stallions sitting on some old crates in the middle of the barn.
Technically one of them wasn’t a stallion, but they were both fully paid up members of the Y-chromosome club so they didn’t really seem to care about the details. This might have had something to do with the decent sized jug of Special Reserve Ice Cider they were passing between themselves.
“Miss Applejack.” The smaller of the two males cried, a large grin spreading across his face, a grin which made his already prominent (to a pony’s eyes anyway) incisor teeth glint in what little light there was. “Good to see you, we were just talking about you.”
The human reached out with the hand that was holding the jug of hooch, obviously offering the newcomer the next shot.
“Evening, Mister Handy.” AJ nodded civilly towards Equestria’s lone human though she made no move to take the proffered jug. Instead she turned her gaze to her older brother who was at this point doing his best to hide his considerable mass behind the smaller male.
“McIntosh Apple, ya mind tellin’ me why you two’re sittin' out here in th' cold, drinkin' our stock and makin' all this here mess?”
AJ swept her hoof to indicate the piles of what could only be described as ‘junk’ liberally scattered around the barn floor. There were piles of what appeared to be large copper containers, huge coils of piping, more glass jars than she could count (which she hated to admit wasn’t as high as her brother could), several old musical instruments as well as boxes packed to the brim with books, flyers and posters.
“We’re checkin’ out all this stuff.” Lero declared happily, taking another sip from the jug before passing it back towards the other stallion, seemingly oblivious to the large draft pony’s attempts to avoid his sister’s scrutiny. “Just look at it all, and check out all these ribbons.”
Grabbing a pile of prize ribbons from atop the crate next to him he held them up to the light. While there were a lot of reds, yellows and whites there was also a large number of first place blue ribbons. “Your dad was awesome, just look at all these blues!”
Realising that there was nothing to fear inside the barn, Fluttershy moved away from the door and stepped into the building proper to get a better look at the ribbons.
Noticing the pegasus’ presence for the first time a rather pinker than normal Lero flashed her a large grin. “Miss Fluttershy! Hello!” He said, maybe a little louder than he meant to.
While the timid pegasus didn’t shy away at the noise as the human was afraid she might, Angel Bunny did use the opportunity to wave his impromptu club in Lero’s direction and state in no uncertain terms quite how unimpressed he was with the evening’s proceedings.
Seeing Fluttershy joining them, Big Mac struggled – swaying the whole time – to his feet, dragging the smaller male with him as he rose. After all, it was only proper for a true gentlecolt to stand when a lady entered the room.
AJ glared at the boys, slightly miffed at the fact that apparently she didn’t count.
Fluttershy lifted a hoof to pat the rampaging rabbit that was raging within her mane, gently soothing the savage beast as she spoke. “Now, now, Angel Bunny. Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll invite you next time there’s some male bonding going on.”
Angel still wasn’t impressed, as the sudden silent treatment, folded arms and turned back demonstrated quite clearly.
“Oh.” Lero’s eyes moved from the silently fuming rabbit the to almost empty jug and back again. “Does he want some? I could put some in a bottle cap or something.”
Fluttershy waved her forehooves in front of her. “Oh no, he doesn’t dri…” Angel however had other ideas and had leapt from her head and was quickly making his way up the human’s trouser leg.
Pushing a forehoof against her face the pegasus let out a resigned sigh. “Ok, just a little though. I don’t want him to have too much. He can be a bit… cranky if he wakes up with a hangover.”
A shudder made its way across her delicate frame as she remembered the last time she’d slipped up and Angel had gotten into her supply of medicinal alcohol. Not only had she had a black eye for a week, her chickens had refused to come out of their coop for three days and at least one of her squirrels still had the occasional flashback.
Oblivious to the undercurrent of the conversation, Lero made his way over to one of the nearby crates, an eager rabbit perched on his shoulder, leaving Big Mac to face his sister alone.
“So, spit it out, boy.” AJ’s expression was about as far as a pony could get from ‘impressed’ as was possible with pony physiology.
“Errr.” Big Mac rubbed his forehooves together. “Well, ya see…”
A sudden crash came from behind him as Lero overstretched himself and toppled over into a crate of equipment, surfacing a moment later triumphantly holding aloft a small jigger. Angel practically snatched the measure from his hand and shot off towards the jug Lero and Big Mac had earlier been sharing.
Momentarily glad of the small distraction, Big Mac was dismayed to realise that his sister’s attention hadn’t left him for a second. Feeling himself turning even redder than usual he tried again.
“Well, what it is, ya see, we were thinkin' we could maybe…” He wasn’t having much luck.
Lero staggered up behind him, clapping a hand on the draft pony’s shoulder. “We’re gunna enter the great Appleosian moonshine run!” he cried. “How great is that?”
If Applejack’s glare had the capability to set ponies on fire, her brother would have been done to a turn and ready to serve in five seconds flat.
“You’re. Gunna. Whut?” She growled, teeth grinding in barely restrained fury the whole time.
“We’re gunna make moonshine!” Lero continued, the copious amount of alcohol running through his system teaming up with his lack of instinctual understanding of pony body language meant that much of AJ’s reaction was lost on him.
“Big Mac was telling me about how Sweet Apple Acres has been trading in apples and apple related goods since before this town ever really existed and then we were looking through all these old books on family history and the settling of Ponyville ‘cos I’m big on history you know, studied it at university and all that, and the we came across all this… stuff... and then were thinking about how great it would be if we could start up a still and make some ‘shine and then enter a Sweet Apple Acres team into the next great ‘shine run and win a bunch of medals like your pa did.”
Lero finally stopped to take a breath which gave Angel the chance to grab his sleeve and start pulling the human towards the rather large and heavy jug that the desperate rabbit had just realised he couldn’t pour by himself.
“NO!” AJ shouted, stamping a hoof to punctuate her point. “No, no, no! Ah’ll not allow it!”
Everyone in the barn turned at the noise to see the cowgirl pushing her face up right into her big brother’s muzzle
“McIntosh Apple, If ya’ll think ah’m about ta let you pair of foals go off ‘shine runnin’ then Ah reckon ya’ll been touched in th' head.”
AJ’s face was almost incandescent with rage at this point and it was all Big Mac could do to keep from crawling behind the nearest crate and raising the white flag. But, as fools are known to rush in where angels fear to tread, Lero (in his rather sizzled state) continued to press the issue.
“Why not?” The human asked as he poured just a tiny amount – much to Fluttershy’s relief – of alcohol into the jigger and passed it to an increasingly anxious rabbit. “From what Big Mac said the moonshine run’s a solid family tradition for the whole Apple clan and you’re one of the few branches of the family that’s not been entering the last decade or so. Seems a shame after your dad won so many ribbons.”
“That’s right.” Big Mac added, his confidence bolstered by Lero’s (ill-advised) stand against the headstrong Apple mare. ”We wouldn’t even be standin’ here if it weren’t ah big part a' Apple family history. If Pa hadn’t caught Ma’s eye at ah runner’s shindig all those years ago they’da never gotten together.”
Fluttershy’s ear’s pricked up at this tidbit of information. In all the years she’d known Applejack, she’d never known the cowpony to ever talk about her parents. All the pegasus and her friends knew was that both Ma and Pa Apple were long since passed away and that no amount of ‘carefully moving the conversation in the right direction’ as Rarity called it could ever get even the tiniest morsel of gossip out of what was surely the most stubborn earth pony in Equestria’s history.
“Excuse me.” Raising her hoof, the usually timid pegasus asked. “If it’s ok, could I ask what moonshine running is?”
Seeing Applejack’s death glare swiftly redirected at her, Fluttershy quickly pulled her hoof back against her body, cowering slightly as she did so.
“That’s if it’s not too much trouble of course. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
Seeing her friend shy away from her, Applejack sighed. She may have been angry at her great galoot of a brother but that was no reason to be terrifying her good friend. Talking about Ma and Pa was a touchy subject up at Sweet Apple Acres but seeing as her (usually) taciturn brother was willing to bring the subject up in company then she figured that maybe it was OK to talk about it today… just a little anyway.
“Th' Great Moonshine Run’s ah earth pony competition held once ah year over'in th' Appleosian mountains.” The cowpony explained. “Ya’see, way back when, before Princess Luna went and got herself banished to th' moon, there was ah lot of earth ponies were right serious about worshippin' her as th' goddess of th' night and they’d hold these big ol' great midnight feasts and festivals in 'er name.“
“On th' night ah th' winter solstice, th' night that th' moon holds th' most power an’ th' sun is at it’s weakest, Princess Luna herself would preside over th' Winter Moon Celebration an' join her subjects in th'… err, carousing that went on.” AJ had to stop for a moment to think of a polite word to skirt around the occasional bouts of debauchery that were rumored to have taken place.
“Well after Princess Luna done got herself banished, Princess Celestia weren’t th' happiest ah ponies an' banned all midnight feasts an' festivals an' especially th' Winter Moon Celebrations. But some earth ponies carried on anyway an' let’s just say that Princess Celestia didn’t like it none an' done told her guards ta hunt down an' break up any nighttime celebrations they could find. They were still using jails back then so a lot’a ah ponies ended up behind bars an' after ah while th' feasts jus' kinda died off.”
“So when Princess Celestia up an' disappeared fer generations on her self-imposed exile an' th' dark ages came about ‘lot of ponies realised that there weren’t nothing ta stop them havin' night feasts again but what with Princess Luna still bein' banished an' probably never comin' back they just kinda, well, died out again jus' as quickly as they'd begun an' that looked to be the end a'that.”
“Errm.” Fluttershy asked, trying to keep Angel from pestering Lero into pouring him another jigger of booze. “So where does the moonshine come into it?”
Applejack thought for a second before she continued. “Well one of things that Princess Luna used ta do at th' Winter Moon Celebrations was to take th' light of th' moon on th' night when it was most powerful and then use her alicorn magic ta compress it into ah hooch so powerful that they say it can knock out ah full grown dragon with ah single mouthful. Seem a lot of ponies thought her ‘moonshine’ was th' best part of th' whole celebrations an' after she’d been banished they’d try an' cook up th' most potent booze they could by themselves an' then bring it along ta their illicit gatherings in her honour.”
“Turned into ah bit of ah competition over th' years ta see who could come up with th' most whiz-bang fake moonshine they manage. Eventually Princess Celestia got wind of what they were up ta so she banned all ‘shine, real an' fake. Legend has it that one particularly stubborn ol’ moonshiner spent amost three weeks bein' pursued across th' Appleosian Mountains by ah whole platoon’a the royal guard. Let’s just say when they finally caught him it weren’t pretty.”
“So anyhow, after the feasts restarted an' faded away ag'in, th' moonshinin’ stayed around an’ turned into this kinda… well, sport really. Been goin’ on fer hundred’s a’ years now. The ‘Running of the Moon Festival’ it used ta be called, earth ponies'd come from all over ta praise the moon an' ta take part in th' runnin'. Lot of stallions used ta use it as ah excuse to get out ah th' fields fer ah while, hang out with other guys an' get crazy drunk.”
“Every year all these teams of runners take their homemade hooch up into th' mountains an' spend ah whole day an' ah night bein' chased from one end ah th' forest ta th’ other by teams’a volunteers pretending t’be guards. Then whatever teams manage ta make it across th' line by noon th' next day without gettin’ captured an' with their jugs still in one piece have their ‘shine judged by a whole bunch of elders an' then one team’s declared th' winner.”
“Really it’s just a excuse fer ah bunch ah stallions to get together, roll around in th' mud an' then finish up with a big ol’ shindig where they all get out ah their minds on ‘shine an' do ah lot of dancin’ an' hollerin’.”
“So is there a lot of this rolling around in the mud then?” Fluttershy asked as the mental images the question was bringing to mind caused a mighty blush to spread across her features. Images of Big Mac, wet mud dripping from his well muscled barrel, his majestic mane plastered against the sinews of his finely crafted neck... No, bad Fluttershy, bad girl.
Applejack was brought out of her explainin’ frame of mind by the glow spreading across her friend’s face… a phenomena she was shocked to see mirrored on her brother’s face. Plus she couldn’t completely persuade herself – try as she might - that Big Mac’s flush was more to do with the amount of alcohol he’d been drinking than the close proximity of the pretty young pegasus that the farmgirl was uncomfortably suspicious that her sibling had a crush on.
“So, ahem, was this how your parents met then? As moonshine runners, first competing against each other as rivals then finding love in each other’s arms?” Fluttershy asked, trying – and failing – to contain her embarrassment at where her traitorous brain had just taken her.
“Ma? A runner?” AJ laughed bitterly. “’Fraid not. Mares ain’t allowed ta be runners, it’s just fer th' boys ta blow off some steam. They all gets t’gether, run around the forest gettin’ all muddy fer’a few days an' then get stoopid drunk. Then they all just come on home an' pretend it never happened fer another year.”
The mention of the mud sent Fluttershy off into her own little world again for a few seconds but she soon shook it off as Applejack continued.
“But Ma, she’d go along anyways ta support her cousins an’ that like ah lot of mares do, took her fiddle wit' her ta do ah bit ah singing at th' party afterward, always perked th' boys right up accordin’ ta Granny it did. ‘Jukebox Jubilee’ they called her, best singer this side ah th' Appleosian mountains Pa always said.”
The scowl that had long ago left AJs face briefly returned. Her mother had been such a great singer that it had left the cowpony somewhat sensitive about her own talent... or lack of it... in that area. No matter what anyone told her, AJ just couldn’t believe that she was actually any good at it, always comparing herself unfavorably to her mother’s unarguably superior talent.
“Anyway, Pa was originally Apple family too. Distant cousins mind, don’t yer go gettin’ no funny ideas now. We’ll have none of that inbred talk ‘round these parts.” AJ gave a smug little nod. “Anyway, every pony knows that kinda stuff’s fer th' unicorns.”
As short snort came from Big Mac, AJ’s head snapped around to take him in with what must have been the fastest reappearing glare of doom in Ponyville history. It seemed the elder Apple sibling still had a long way to go before he could even think of being let off the hook.
“An' you.” She snapped. “Ah don’t know what’s gotten in'ta that head of yours, tryin' ta drag Mister Handy into this harebrained idea ah yours.” A hoof was waved vaguely in Lero’s direction where he was currently playing tug of war over what was left of Big Mac’s Special Reserve with a surprisingly ferocious - and quite intoxicated – rabbit. “Ya know if anythin' happened ta him Rainbow’d toss ya straight off ah cliff. An’ that’s only if Twi didn’t teleport ya off ah one first. An’ ya know what, Ah’d probably help ‘em too. Damn fool.”
A smile quickly spread across the Apple mare’s features, the kind of smile that Big Mac recognised as only ever making an appearance when his sister had outsmarted him, which didn’t happen every often.
“Ya do know that even if Ah did let ya enter, which Ah ain’t, they’re never gunna let ah human be ah runner now don’t ya? If they don’t let mares run then there’s no way he’d even git within ah mile ah th' start line.” AJ leant back and folded her arms (yes, the fore limbs of any four limbed mammal are technically called ‘arms’) turning the smug ‘I got you beat’ grin up to eleven.
A crash came from her left where Lero had suddenly let go of the jug of hotly contested hooch, letting Angel Bunny roll backwards off of the crate to end up into a small pile of fur at Fluttershy’s hooves.
“No, we checked see.” Lero quickly searched through a small pile of books on the floor by his feet before unsteadily wobbling his way over towards AJ.
As the obviously inebriated human collided with two crates, one support beam and Big Mac’s flank before reaching his destination, AJ stage-whispered to her brother.
“How much did he actually have?” She asked as Lero spent a moment flicking pages back and forth to find the section he was looking for.
“Not much.” The draft pony replied, suddenly finding his own hooves to be incredibly interesting.
“Aaaha.“ AJ drawled, looking her brother straight in the eye. “Element'a honesty, remember?”
Big Mac glanced around the barn for a while; probably looking for a way to escape, not that there was anywhere he could actually escape to. “About ah quarter'a th' jug maybe.” He finally mumbled.
“What?!” The base of AJ’s forehoof suddenly found it’s way to her face. “Landsakes, that much’d take out ah pony twice his size. How’s he even still walkin?”
“Ah have no idea.” Big Mac admitted. “He seemed right depressed when we was talkin' earlier. Looks like he got somethin' big on his mind. Got mighty interested all of a sudden when Ah started telling him about how Ponyville came about, said history was something he was good at. So ah brought him down here to show him these books, figured it might take his mind off what was troublin' him.”
“And th' hooch?” The cowgirl asked, her forehoof still pressed against her face.
“Well Ah might’a brought that along to help him loosen up a bit.” Big Mac shrugged. “Seems that whatever’s dun troublin' him needed a bit more liquid forgettin' than Ah thought.“
Lero suddenly thrust the open book under AJ’s nose, a long finger tapping a particular paragraph.
“Found it.” The human proclaimed as AJ started to read. Fluttershy extricated herself from her inebriated rabbit and made her way closer to get a better look.
“See here, the rules clearly say ‘no horns, no wings, no claws, no cooARRGH.” A quick elbow to the ribs from Big Mac swiftly broke Lero’s train of thought. The draft pony might have forgotten to mention that that particular piece of ancient slang was not to uttered in mixed company, especially not in the presence of those of Miss Fluttershy’s gentle disposition.
“So anyway.“ Big Mac took the book from Lero’s grasp, closing it before Fluttershy could read what it said. “He’s not ah unicorn, ah pegasus, ah dragon, ah griffin or ah female so th' rules say he can participate.”
Fluttershy still looked confused. “Did I miss something? Why aren’t mares allowed to compete?” She asked.
It was AJ’s turn to look embarrassed now. “It’s the fourth pro-hib-ition.” She stated. “No horns, wings, claws or…” She leant over and whispered the last part into her friend’s ear.
“Oh my.“ The pegasus stuttered, pushing her hind legs together as she did so. “That’s fairly… definite then.”
Now it was Big Mac’s turn to look smug, though the effect was diminished somewhat when Lero’s legs decided that they’re had enough of this standing-up business and the biped suddenly fell over. Luckily he landed slumped against his fellow stallion’s side and soon found himself propped up back on top of the crate they’d earlier been sitting on.
After making sure that his friend was comfortable, and not going to topple face first to the floor, Big Mac realised he’d have to face the rest of this ‘discussion’ on his own as the copious amounts of booze Lero had ingested had finally got the better of him.
The light snoring was a bit of a giveaway.
Turning to face his sister, the draft pony took a deep breath as he gathered his thoughts.
“Now look, AJ, Ah know ya don’t like th’ idea but Sweet Apple Shine was winnin' awards since before our parents were born an’ it’d be ah real shame if we were jus' ta let it fade away. Lero’s got some real good ideas on brewin' an' distillin' an' th' like and Ah know some ah th' guys around town would be up for th' idea.”
His sister’s glare wasn’t lessening, but then it also wasn’t getting any worse, which Big Mac took as good sign.
“An' if we still need help we can always go ask Uncle Magnum fer advice. He was as much part of th' Sweet Apple Acres team as Pa was.” He added. “Have to make sure Auntie Pearl didn’t find out though.”
“Um.“ Fluttershy raised her hoof again. “Uncle Magnum? As in Rarity’s father? I didn’t think you even knew him.”
Applejack sighed. “Yeah, it’s not exactly public knowledge. Ma an' Rarity’s dad were best friends right th' way from even before they went ta school. Every pony figured they were gunna start ah herd together someday but turned out Uncle Magnum saw Ma as more of ah sister than he did his own sister. When Ma an' Pa got hitched he still spent most ah his time with them, ‘Juke’s boys’ they used ta call them both but then Big Mac finally came along and Magnum started hankerin’ fer foals ah his own. Then he met Auntie Pearl while he was off travelin' one summer an' she asked him ta join her herd an’ after that he an' Ma just kinda floated apart.”
“Oh, that’s so sad.” Fluttershy said. “But why’s it such a secret?”
“Long story.“ The urge to clam up again was hitting AJ pretty hard but as she’d already started she figured she might as well finish. If any pony could be trusted to keep this all to themselves it was Fluttershy. Apart from that Big Mac was here with her and… what was he doing rummaging around in that crate?
Ignoring her fool of a brother for the moment, AJ returned to her story.
“Ya see, Uncle Magnum’s family’s from ‘round these parts, His sister lived in town an' ran Carousel Couture before Rarity took it over and made it into th' fancy-smancy boutique it is now. Magnum had moved up north permanently when his first foal was born, that’d be Rarity by th' way, so they could all be with Pearl’s herd.”
“But soon as he heard Pa had died and Ma was havin' ta work ‘round the farm wit’ her belly gettin' all big account of Applebloom coming along, he upped sticks an' headed straight back here ta' Ponyville. Ah was only ah lil’ pony myself at th' time an' Big Mac here was still in school. We did what we could ta help out but much as Ah hate to say it, we jus' weren’t enough and we really needed his help.”
“He done brought Rarity with him too, seems she hadn’t taken well ta havin' ah lil’ sister suddenly turn up in her life. Ah wish ya’ll coulda’ seen her face when she got off th’ train, must’a been the first time that filly ever saw real mud in her life. Hoo-boy, what ah sight.”
“So Rarity’s not a ponyville native.” Fluttershy asked, hesitant to upset AJ’s flow.
“Nah, gosh no.” AJ rubbed her chin. “Apart from you and Rainbow bein' from Cloudsdale an' Twi from Canterlot, Pinkie’s folks are from over other side ah Rambling Rock Ridge. Ah’m th' only one of th' elements actually born here in Ponyville.”
Rubbing her chin a bit more, AJ suddenly remembered something else that Fluttershy probably didn’t know.
“An' that accent a’ her’s… Faker than ah Flim-Flam brother’s promise. Rare’s been puttin' it on so long now Ah doubt even she knows what she really sounds like no more.”
Big Mac had finally ceased his rummaging and was making his way back to where Fluttershy and his sister were now sitting while holding a framed photo in his mouth. Settling himself on the ground next to them he passed the picture over.
Taking it in her forehooves AJ held it out to her friend could see it. The image showed a much younger Magnum, still recognizable even without his now trademark mustache, seated in a bright orange wagon with a mare and stallion of similar ages.
All three of them were wearing brand new stetsons, the one on the so-far unnamed stallion’s head looking remarkably like a newer and much less battered version of the same hat currently seated on Applejack’s crown.
“That’s Pa Apple.” AJ said, indicating the stallion who looked much like a slightly less burly version of Big Mac, even down to the colouring and the single stalk of wheat hanging out of his mouth. “Name was Pippin Apple or jus' Pee-Aye ta his friends but most folks jus' ended up callin' him Pa, especially after Big Mac here was born.”
Moving her hoof over to indicate the grinning mare sat between the two stallions with a forehoof around each of their necks, AJ continued.
“That’s Jubilee Apple, that’s mah ma.” AJ paused to wipe a forehoof against her eyes. “There’s ain’t ah day goes by Ah don’t think of her. Ah wish Applebloom could’a gotten to know her. Ah jus’ know she’d've loved her jus’ as much as Ah do.”
AJ felt her hat being lifted from her head and her brother’s chin come to rest upon her mane.
“Granny said she died from comp-li-cations durin' childbirth but Ah know th' truth. Ah know she died of ah broken heart.” AJ sniffed as Fluttershy leant in against her side. “When pa died it was like somethin' inside her just broke down an' didn’t work no more.”
Big Mac took a short breath before adding his own thoughts to the pot.
“As her belly got bigger an’ bigger there jus' seemed ta be less an' less ah her left up here.” He tapped his forehoof against his head. “Ah’d head out ta th' fields an' find her jus’ standin' starin' up at th’ sky. Sometimes she’d stand there fer hours, not movin' ah muscle. Eventually Granny sent word ter Uncle Magnum, see if he could come talk t'her. Next thing we knew he was at th’ station wit’ nothin' but his bags an' his daughter.”
AJ gave a short laugh. “Turns out th’ bags weren’t even his, they were Rarity’s. He was makin' ta head half way 'cross Equestria with nothin' but th' shirt on his back, but Rarity took it as ah way ta escape her mother’s herd. She’d had her bags packed fer months jus’ lookin’ for ah chance ta get away. When she heard her father was comin' back here she told her mother she was gunna stay with her aunt an' then jus’ followed her dad ter the station. Don’t think she’s ever been back since.”
The three of them sat looking at the picture in silence for a few moments.
Fluttershy couldn’t help but see an almost uncanny resemblance between her friend and her mother. The face was almost exactly the same, the strong earth pony build that looked like she could buck a tree right out of the ground if she really wanted to, the same simple hairstyle held back with a single hair band. Were it not for the fact that Ma Apple had the same colours as young Applebloom then it would be easy think the picture was of Applejack and her brother rather than of their parents.
“Auntie Pearl didn’t take it very well.” Big Mac noted, breaking the silence.
“Yer can say that again.” Applejack added. “Uncle Magnum pretty much took over runnin' th' farm while Ma got more and more... distant. Eventually Applebloom was born an' Ma passed away an' he made no move ter leave so Pearl came down by train ta give him an ul-ti-matum. Basically he could go back home ta her herd an' help raise Sweetie Belle, or he could stay here fer good. Then she got right back on that train an' left, gave him ah week ta think about it.”
“By th' time he got back ta th' farm Granny had packed his stuff an' told him it was time ta go home.” Big Mac said. “Much as th' Apples appreciated everythin' he’d done fer us, there was no way she’d let him lose his herd over it.”
Applejack turned to take in her brother’s face.
“Ah never heard that.” She said. “Ah thought he’d chosen to go back himself. Not that Ah’d ever blamed him.”
Turning back to the picture she carried on with her tellings.
“Granny had got some of th' other Apples to come stay over an' help out in shifts after he left. Ah’m ashamed to say Ah left myself no much later. Went up to Manehatten to live with pa’s brother an’ his herd fer ah while. Did’n much like it though so came right on back pretty quick like, swore Ah’d never leave again.”
Big Mac took up the tale at this point. “Ah few years later Uncle Magnum’s sister passed away so he an' Auntie Pearl moved back here ta be near Miss Rarity, brought young Sweetie Belle with them. Looks like Pearl knew how much Magnum had missed bein' here an' felt bad that she’d made him choose between them. Then Miss Rarity moved in'ta th' boutique full time an' both families agreed ta not ever speak ah th' whole thing again... especially th' stuff that he an' Pa used to get up to.”
“Why that specifically?” Fluttershy asked.
“Well, th' thing about moonshine runnin' is… Well... Ahh…” Big Mac looked like he was stumbling over what to say next so AJ finished for him.
“Well ya see, it’s kinda illegal.” AJ added.
“Really?” Fluttershy gasped. “As in ‘dragged off to the Royal Court’ illegal?”
“Well… yes and no.“ AJ said, not sounding entirely convinced herself. “Thing is, when Princess Celestia banned ‘shine she made all sorts ah laws ta make it illegal ta own, make, sell… heck, ya probably can’t even look at it without breakin' ah whole bunch ah laws. Then when she came back from her seclusion an' was busy tryin' ta get th' dark ages up an' finished, she never actually got rid ah any of them laws she made. Well th' ‘shiners weren’t gunna stop jus’ ‘cos th' princess was back so they kept on runnin' but kept it on th' down low. Didn’t take th' princess long ta figure out what was goin' on but as she was pretty busy tryin’ ta get th; country back in order she jus; pretended she didn’t know nothin' an' it’s been that way ever since. That’s why ya won’t find it in any stores or anything; what’s made fer th' runnin’s all there is an' it’s about as rare as pegasus scales on th' breeze. You just can’t buy it for love nor money an' it looks like that’s th' way the princess wants it ta stay.”
“Oh.“ Fluttershy said, still looking a tad confused. “So if it’s illegal, but the princess isn’t going to do anything about it, why are you still so set against your brother making some of his own moonshine for the competition?”
“Cos it’s pretty darn dangerous.” AJ reached over and grabbed her brother’s neck as she literally growled out her statement, fixing him with a glare something evil. “Those mountains may have taken mah Pa but Ah’ll be damned ter Tartarus if Ah’m gunna let it get this fool as well.“
She waved her free hoof towards the gently snoring human asleep on the crate behind them. “Or that one neither, it jus’ ain’t worth th' heartache.” Her voice still held a touch of anger, but it also carried a level of worry and hurt. Worry that her brother could end get up gettin’ seriously injured - or worse - and hurt that he’d even think to put himself in such a position without thinking of what it’d do to his family.
A sudden snort from behind them told them that Lero was awake again while the rather lengthy groan that followed told them that his body was not enjoying the side effects of waaaay too much hard liquor one little bit.
After wiping her eyes with a forehoof and passing the picture back to her brother, AJ turned to face the rather bedraggled looking human as he tried - unsuccessfully - to focus on her face.
“OK, Handy, it’s time fer you ta head on home now, Rainbow’s probably worried sick about now an' Ah don’t want th' earache when she finds out what happened ta ya.”
“Really? It’s only... “ Lero looked down Rainbow’s battered old Wonderbolts anklewatch that he’d recently taken to wearing on his wrist. “Ay Carumba! Is that the time?”
“Yes, that is the time.” AJ deadpanned. “Now, Big Mac, you brush him off an' help him home. He ain’t in no fit state ter be wandering th' streets on his own. An’ Ah don’t care if he thinks he can look after himself, Ah don’t want no pony seein' him out on his lonesome an' thinkin' they can take their chances. Ah done seen th' way those Honey sisters have been lookin’ at him recently an’ Ah don’t like it one little bit.”
The farm pony fixed her brother with one last death glare before her features softened.
“Ah’m gunna walk Fluttershy home and then Ah’ll see you back at th’ farm. Ah think we got to be having some words.”
With that she picked up her lantern from where Fluttershy had left it by the barn door and walked purposefully out of the barn. After pausing for just a moment, the pegasus give them both a small bow of the head before picking up a comatose Angel Bunny (still clinging to his empty jigger) in her teeth and hurrying off into the night.
*********************
After a few minutes of watching AJ’s lantern make its way across the dark field towards Fluttershy’s cottage, Lero pulled himself up from his impromptu crate bed and stood up, leaning on his friend for support as he did so.
“I think she likes you.” He said.
“Hmmm.“ was all the response he received.
“Don’t give me that.” Lero continued, trying hard to figure out if he should sit back down again or not. “You should just tell her that you like her. If you carry on with all this waiting and playing coy she’ll never get the message.”
“Hmmm.”
“Yes, I know you’re worried about scaring her off.” Lero wasn’t going to let this one go. “Look, if she likes you back then I don’t think something like your…errr... size is going to be that big a problem.” Big Mac turned his head to look Lero in the eye. “OK, sorry, poor choice of words.“
“Hmmm.”
“And don’t go all strong and silent type on me now, you were positively chatty earlier.” Lero patted the draft pony’s shoulder. “Look man, love finds a way, that’s how it works. Look at me, I’m the only human on the planet and I’ve still managed to find the one for me… Well, two of them actually.”
“Ah guess yer right.“ Big Mac mumbled.
“You know I’m right. And you know that teacher chick digs you so you’re obviously not as big and scary as you think you are.” Lero decided on sitting back down again. It seemed the safest option at the time.
“Maybe. But she is ah earth pony, pegasi are ah lot smaller an'...”
“Dude, stop worrying and ask her out. And don’t start with that ‘it’s not how we do it’ stuff again.” Lero took a few deep breaths and stood back up. “Now come on, Long Dong Silver, that rot-gut of yours sure packs a punch so you might end up having to carry me home.”
Picking up a lantern each, the two stallions slowly made their way to the door, Lero finding it much easier if he just threw an arm around Big Mac’s neck and allowed the quadruped to lead the way.
Closing the barn door behind them, the farm pony started to lead the way towards the path back to town. After a few minutes of walking in comfortable silence, Big Mac finally spoke.
“Thanks, fer not lettin' them know that Ah’d wanted ta talk to ya about mares an' stuff tonight.”
“No problems, man.” Lero grinned. “That’s what friends are for.”
“Well, thanks anyway, Ah appreciate it.” Big Mac stopped walking, waiting the second or two it took for Lero to notice they weren’t moving anymore. ”D’ya want me ta carry you home, y'know, on my back.”
The look that crossed Lero’s face was very much like Big Mac assumed Pinkie Pie would sport if she’d just been told that she’d been made Princess Celestia‘s official cake tester and she was booked to start right this instant.
“Man, I thought you’d never ask.”
And with that Lero clambered onto his friend’s back with all the poise and skill that a human full of enough booze to floor a large donkey could be expected to. Which was badly... very, very badly.
When he was finally in place, clinging onto Big Mac’s neck like his life depended on it, the two made their way slowly back into town.
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And if I could have sneaked in the phrase "apocalyptic tube steak" then believe me, I would have done.
Lol... an excellent chapter.
2352155
I forgive you.
Hi-ho Big Mac, away!
2352155 mmmhhh now im hungry
Awesome story. Was that at all inspired by Drop of Moonshine? I was really hoping to find out about Sweet Surprise and what happened there. I hope we don't have to wait too long to find out about that.
Did you just quote the theme song to The Dukes of Hazzard?
Hehe, this was good. Yes, lets bring in the moonshine.
It was nice to see male interactions as well.
2352155
Me gusta!
Dukes of Hazzard reference?
Winter Moon Festival acknowledgement?
Apocalyptic tube steak?
A good laugh.
Nice to see Lero actually being a guy and not just a boyfriend.
Definitely some Drop of Moonshine influence, I like it!
Suddenly I'm hoping we eventually get a Mac/Fluttershy/Cheerilee herd.
Chapter was full of a lot of good laughs, and some sentimental stuff as well.
Also, I really hope you're going to do a continuation of this chapter!
Well, looks like lero;s earth pony form is a rnner up for long dong silver..
and you've totally made one he of a family tree!@.@
New chapter!
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That story and plan that Lero and Mac brought up sounds like an interesting story on it's own. I really want to know if they ever made it to that Moonshine event after all.
An excellent chapter.
By the way, the moonshine running should make a good story on its own. If you don't want to use it, I'd encourage you to lend permission to use it for any author who wants to.
Darn Them Jukes!
Cuff 'em and stuff 'em ain't that right, Flash?
And of course YEEEE HAW!
Git R Dun Big Mac!
2354065
I think it was more that, at the time, in her grief, everything that reminded her of Luna was simply too painful to bear. Especially since Luna became Nightmare Moon because she thought ponies didn't love her night. Given that there was a whole group of moonshine-lovers who held big feasts for her, that makes her reasons lose a bit of their validity, which made the whole affair probably even more painful for Celestia.
my gosh this is a hillarious chapter. The Cheerilee/Shy/Mac herd makes perfect sense (and happens to be a handy way to give the bird, or in this case, the rabbit to Hasbro's mocking attempts at shipping)
Y'know, I kinda expected Pa Apple t' have a name more along the lines of an alcoholic drink, since Applejack is a well known liquor... ah well.
So sad to hear about their deaths like that, but I'm kinda glad it wasn't a more painful or brutal death. Timberwolves are out there after all...
2352155 You could've probably slipped it in somewhere around "Long Dong Silver."
...Wait, bad choice of words.
Anyway, a most enlightening chapter in several respects. Princess-less dark ages, winter solstice bacchanalia, moonshine running, the story of the Apple parents and Rarity's origin to boot... That's quite a lot of backstory for a bit of booze-fueled male bonding.
There's a marked dearth of Apples in Xenophilia itself. This considerably made up for the lack, and in quite an enjoyable way. Thank you for it.
Is it just me or is each new chapter jumbling things up in the order for everyone in "Further Tales"?
I've been slow to read this because the > Next arrows kept jumping me around the chapter I was trying to read next, and when I come back in a week or so, the chapters marked read are dotted throughout the lineup of unread chapters, and now the new chapter today is now at the chapter 1 slot? I jut HAD to comment after seeing that happen!
2352155
Magnum and PeeAye as a buddy team? fitting groaner for 04/01...
I still nominate Miss Quake as a likely herd member for Big Mac, a possible 3rd nominated by Flutters and Cheerilee to wear him down a bit before their turn in an occasional 4-way?
2352417
Save a horse, ride a Pony!
HOLY BACKSTORY BATMARE!
2357495 I noticed that joke too
And now... what with Luna back... ohdear....
2357305
The chapters are going up in chronological order, not completion order, so yes. If that is what you should be seeing, then things are working as they appear to have been intended to.
Apocalyptic tube steak... BAHAHAHAHA
Loved the Dukes of Hazzard references in this!That said... you should REALLY post a follow-up on this particular story. If for nothing else, to see what Lero does to blow off steam. (Even if it's much to Rainbow's and Applejack's chagrin)
Great chapter! Also, I'd love to see Lero and Mac's adventures in 'shining become a story in and of itself. It's an awesome premise and you set it up perfectly in this chapter, even if the whole thing was a cover for their 'manly' talk.
This is definitely my favorite part of the whole Leroverse.
Man, If there isn't a follow-up to this I will be so sad.
ah its good to start reading this story again xP i must continue!
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2581150
I posted a follow up to this in the shotglass oneshots forum if you're interested.
Is Lyra in the herd at this point?
>‘Juke’s boys’ they used ta call them
groan...
That was amusing, for sure. A few notes though:
-Don't replace "a" by "ah" in AJ/Mac's accent, it looks weird and is plain wrong.
-Don't use said accent in the narration.
Making Applejack seem ignorant really bothers me to such a point~ Then the Flutter/Mac *shivers*
2354609 looks like those jukes, boys got themselves in a whole heapa trouble.
3465385 personally I quite like it. i read fast so it helps me keep track on whos talking
Illegal??
PFFFT!!
stuffpoint.com/spongebob-square-pants/image/58287-spongebob-square-pants-idgaf.jpg
I'ma hide ma moonshine n' this book here.
designyoutrust.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/unnamed_49elsbmuna.jpg
An' there ain't NUTHIN stoppin' me 'cept death an' taxes! Actually, not even taxes!!
edge-img.datpiff.com/m7193c39/VOCAB_Fuck_The_Law_2005-front-large.jpg
FUCK THE LAW AND BREAK IT DOWN!!!
...also, I am the 1300th like.
Hoooo Long Dong Silver! Awaaaaaaay!
No no, Shy, keep going.
How'd he build up such a tolerance?
No cooties?
:pinkiegrin:
I'm getting mixed messages here, Flutters. ;]
Lovely. Gold.
Three things.
First, Pippin's and Jukebox's story is so much better than Bright Mac's and Pear Butter's.
Second, I gotta wonder what Luna will think of this whole moonshine run thing if/when she learns about it.
Third, my headcanon is that ponies actually have a higher alcohol tolerance than humans, because they're hindgut fermenters.
And there's one more thing I wanna comment on, but it's from the comments. I can understand why Celestia did what she did for the whole Luna/NMM thing. If ponies all forgot Luna, they would have a harder time connecting her with NMM. And since the stories about NMM are all old mare's tales, the worst of any atrocities she may have committed can be written off as just exaggeration for the story's sake. And keeping Nightmare Night could be seen as a way to defang the horror, proverbially speaking. Since it's all just stories for foals, it's not really taken too seriously. Kind of like how Mel Brooks once said that the best way to really beat Hitler was to make him a joke, so impossible to take seriously.