7: But then my homework was never quite like this.
But then my homework was never quite like this.
Chapter published 21st Sept 2013
**************
Reaching the address of the last delivery of her working day, Derpy trotted up to entrance to the Golden Oaks public library. Reaching out with a forehoof she rapped a jaunty little series of knocks against the front door, noticing the ‘closed’ sign bouncing against the dark wood with each and every impact.
The library’s opening times had always been erratic, even before Twilight Sparkle had taken over as the town librarian. Not that this had ever unduly worried any of the town’s residents; either they’d let themselves in and leave a note to say what books they’d checked out for themselves, or they’d come back later and try again then. It was just that kind of town.
However, for a few months earlier in the year some of the townsfolk had been either visiting the establishment in groups - usually when they knew others would be around, there was safety in numbers after all - or avoiding the place entirely. The reason for their trepidation? The library had, for the last six or so months at least, been occasionally graced by the presence of a large, scary, pointy-toothed and hook-clawed meat eater... by the unlikely name of Lero Michaelides.
This fear, in Derpy’s opinion at least, was just dumb. Sure, the guy was big, and yeah, he had pointy teeth and the ability to give a pony a nasty bite if he so wished, but that didn’t mean he had the desire to. And yeah, okay, he’d managed to nearly choke the life out of poor Shimmer without even breaking a sweat; but then she, or rather her doofus of a stallion, had started it.
But Derpy didn’t much care about what some other ponies thought. If they thought he was odd and funny looking, so what? Some of those same ponies thought she was odd and funny looking. If she’d ever cared what they thought, she’d be a nervous wreck. And if she went around being some type of nervous wreck, or treating Mister Lero badly because some silly ponies were scared of him, what kind of example would that be for little Dinky? A bad one, that’s what. And there was no way Derpy was going to be a bad example for her young daughter. Na-ah, no way.
Plus, Mister Lero had sometimes given her a muffin if he had one to spare and any pony... person... whatever he was, that gave her muffins was alright in her eyes
Reaching into her mailbag with a wing, she pulled out a ‘special delivery’ parcel, its outer layer emblazoned with the equestrian royal seal. Smoothing the wrapping paper out with a forehoof, she appraised it with with a careful eye... her other eye taking an equally detailed look at the left-hoof sleeve of her postal service uniform.
“Oh poop, lost a button... again.”
Unexpected uniform damage was something the gray pegasus was used to by now. Her boss, Ponyville Postmaster Silver Script, had managed to somehow ‘find’ for her at least two spare uniform jackets as well as a whole box full of small brass buttons. It also helped that Dinky - being the absolute dear that she was and so good with her hooves - was always ready to assist her mother make any repairs needed or sew back on any missing buttons. Which, though Derpy didn’t like to admit to it, meant that Dinky did the sewing and her mother passed her the buttons.
Speaking of Dinky, Derpy remembered that she has meant to ask Twilight if the library had a copy (large print edition if possible) of ‘Young Daring Do and the Legend of the Crystal Saddle’. The series may have been written for young fillies but that didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy it herself. In fact, she’d probably enjoyed reading the last one as part of their bedtime ritual together even more than her daughter had, and that sure was saying something.
While she waited for the door to open, the mailmare tried guessing what was in the parcel. It was about the size of a book, weighed about what a book would, smelled like a musty old book, when she squeezed it there was a distinct lack of squeak or squidge to it in much the same way a book wouldn’t, and...
And then she remembered where she was; she was sitting outside the town library, home to the town’s resident bibliophile - a mare that loved reading even more than Derpy liked muffins... It was going to be a book wasn't it? What else could it be?
Looking closer at the package she could see the address had been written with both great care and with resounding flourish; so probably written by horn and by somepony who’d had time to practice getting their curly bits just so. The brown paper was new and of good quality, so whomever had sent it had thought it was important enough not to reuse an old piece, and the string was tight and evenly spaced so again it’d probably been some pony who’d had time to practice.
Pondering the pieces of this particular puzzle, Derpy came to a conclusion. This parcel was most likely an old reference book sent out from the main Canterlot library by one of those (equally) old and stuffy librarian mares. Probably the same ones who always had their manes in buns and went ‘shhhh’ at her whenever she bumped into a bookcase or a table, all the while glaring at her from over those little half moon glasses they all wore. Were the glasses and hair buns standard issue or something? She didn't know, but this was a question for another time.
Feeling quite pleased with her powers of deduction, the mailmare idly lifted a hoof to again knock at the door. Twilight was sure taking a while to open up. The upper windows were all open so she was probably at home. Perhaps she was having a nap? Or maybe she was down in her basement, busy making... stuff again? Either way, Derpy resolved to give her a few more minutes before she’d take the parcel back to the post office and try again tomorrow.
Wondering why the expected ‘thud thud thump’ had not come, and worrying for second that she’d gone temporarily deaf, Derpy looked up to find the library’s front entrance open in front of her, the dark wooden door being held by the tall bipedal figure of the town’s only human.
“Miss Doo. What brings you here?”
Lero knew exactly why the gray pegasus was there. If the navy blue uniform of the Equestrian Postal Service hadn't given it away then the brown paper package in her outstretched wing sure would have. Feigning confusion was just a game they both liked to play whenever she turned up at his door.
“Hello Mister Lero, Sir. I’ve got a parcel for Twilight Sparkle, it’s from the castle.” she leant forward, motioning him closer with a forehoof as she whispered conspiratorially “I think it’s a book!”
“Really?” Lero grinned, taking the parcel in a single large hand and looking it over. “Whatever next?”
Reaching out, Lero patted the delivery mare between the ears.
“Hey, we had Lyra over for dinner last night and she brought a whole box of muffins with her for dessert. We had some left over, would you like one?”
“Oh boy, do I ever!”
Letting the door hang loose behind him, Lero disappeared off into the library for a moment just to return carrying a single golden brown muffin topped with a splodge of yellow frosting and a single slice of caramelised lemon.
Reaching out to take the proffered treat, Derpy gave it a sniff, trying very hard not to let her wings spring in public. Pegasi’s wings were known to suddenly spread due to things such as surprise, excitement or -ahem- that other kind of excitement, and as far as Derpty was concerned an unexpected muffin certainly counted as an exciting surprise.
“Lemon muffin surprise! That’s one of my favourites.” she cried, taking a bite.
Watching the gray pegasus swiftly devour the baked treat made the human smile, though he did make sure to keep his fingers well away from anything dental, just in case.
“We know how much you like them so I made sure to keep one handy.” Giving a small bow - though adding a flourish with one hand, they always seemed to make her smile - Lero stepped back into the library and started to close the door. “See you again, Miss Doo.”
“Thanks, Mister Lero” Derpy returned the gesture with the wave of a wing, flicking the wingtip around in a small circle as her own form of flourish “Bye.”
As she wandered away, happy with a job well done for the day - and no accidents either, hurray - Derpy grinned to herself. He wasn’t so odd once you got to know him, in fact he was really nice.
But she did have to admit, what with his mane all slicked back like that and that nasty tweed jacket that was obviously waaaay too small for him... he did look awful silly.
***********
Making his way up to the small apartment above the library, Lero found Twilight exactly where he’d left her just a few minutes before; namely standing at her dresser with her nose in a magazine. As the purple unicorn poured over the article she pulled on the last of a quartet of white knee high socks.
“Who was it?” she asked, without even looking up from her reading. Once engrossed in reading it was extremely hard to pull her away from the object of her attention, even if the subjects of her studies had been more... variable in recent months.
“Just Miss Doo,” Lero answered, leaning against the the wall at the top of the short flight of stairs “she delivered a book from the castle. I left it next to the ‘books in’ pile downstairs.”
“Already? That was quick. I hadn’t expected that to arrive for a few days yet.” Twi looked up from her article, her eyebrows giving her a ‘suitably impressed’ look, “I really must send the Royal Librarians a note of thanks. Spike only sent that request off a few hours ago before he left for Rarity’s. I’ll ask him to process it when he gets back in the morning.”
As his herdmate talked, Lero walked over to see what her mare had been so engrossed in.
“I never thought we’d need to put in a request for Newt Scarer’s ‘Fantastical Creatures and Where They Like to Hang Out’ but Fluttershy’s been so interested in hippogryphs recently that I...”
Twi trailed off as she noticed her stallion flipping idly through the magazine she’d been reading. Folding it closed so that the cover was on display, an image of a confident, self assured mare looking up at them both from over her shoulder from under the large printed title ‘Cosmarepolitan’.
Lifting a quizzical eyebrow, the human read out some of the delights the magazine promised were held within.
“Playing favourites - 21 ways to keep your stallion interested.”
“Very important.” Twilight nodded sagely.
“Nether gloss - our top ten picks.”
“No comment.”
“How to plan a coup d'état without alerting your alpha female.”
“Ahem, again, no comment.” the stifled grin showed that she wasn't at all serious about that one.
“Putting the bounce back in your haunches in less than a month - we show you how.”
“Well, I could probably do with rounding out a little. I’ve seen how you look at Lyra and-
The lavender mare was cut off as her stallion knelt down and put his arms around her.
“Hey, you.” Lero stroked at the back of the mare’s head as she rested her chin on his shoulder, You don't have to feel threatened by her you know.”
“I know,” Twi admitted “But it’s a potential change to the herd. And you know I don't really like change, not sudden change anyway.”
“I know, love.” Lero soothed “There’s no hurry, we’re not rushing into anything. It’s early days yet, we’re just seeing how it goes. She is courting all of us, after all. You're as much a part of this as the rest of us.”
Letting his mare go, he picked up the magazine and flipped through it again.
“Did you borrow this from Rarity?” he asked, stopping at the cover article, which was an interview with the mare from the cover (surprisingly) - Fleur Dis Lee it seemed she was called - telling the world just how hard it was to be a supermodel. A double page spread showing her surrounded by many many oiled up stallions, sporting more tight muscles and even tighter flanks than the Canterlot Hoofball team, would appear to disagree.
“Yes”
“Figures.” Lero grinned as he handed the magazine back.
“I’m doing research.”
“That figures too.” Lero laughed as he ruffled the front of Twi’s mane, moving her stripes from one side of her horn to the other. While he’d been downstairs she’d separated out the back of her mane into two lengthy bunches held together with matching red ribbons, each one hanging down on either side of her neck. It wasn’t a look he’d seen on her before but he had to admit it was kind of cute.
Resting the magazine back on her dresser, Twi levitated a small red tartan skirt from a pile of clothing next to her and fastened it over her flanks and across her hips. To call it short was probably being generous as in reality it was more of a large fabric belt, barely as wide as the unicorn’s horn was long. As she settled it into place it covered very little, leaving her buttocks, thighs and... other things exposed.
Lero was torn between watching and looking away. Ponies spent most of their lives naked anyway, so why was watching one, his ‘wife to be’ no less, putting on a few items of clothing so... alluring?
“Are you sure this is what human college girls wear?” Twi asked, levitating over one of her plain white dress shirts.
“Oh, yes.” ‘Watching’ was beating out ‘looking away’ hands down. “One hundred percent sure.”
“Well, okay then,” Twi pulled on the shirt, tying the bottom together in a small knot rather than doing up any of the buttons, leaving her belly uncovered and a deep vee of purple fur from her neck down into her chest exposed. “Hmm, it doesn't cover much. Must be for airflow. College girls must get hot and sweaty a lot.”
“Er yeah, something like that.” Lero coughed.
“That must drive them wild, especially around summer break... What, why are you laughing?”
“Nothing, nothing.“ Lero had to turn away before he was overcome. “So, where were we?”
“Well, I was the naughty college filly who hasn't completed her assignment on time, and you're the strict professor who’s going to make sure I finish it.”
Twi nodded over towards her desk, with its towering pile of reference books, a large stack of paper, an inkpot, a spare inkpot, and three quills all lined up ready. On the other side of the room she’d placed a second desk, with a still steaming cup of coffee and a little plaque reading ‘Mr Michaelides’ sitting on it.
Looking back and forth between the two desks, Lero rubbed at his chin.
“Aaah, you're actually going to have me sit there and watch while you write an assignment, aren't you?”
Twi just looked puzzled at the suggestion that this hadn’t actually been her stallion’s first plan of action upon seeing the lay out.
“Well, yes, of course. Doesn’t it sound like fun? And if you could come over and check my work over every few minutes, that would be great.”
The unicorn gave the human a big grin.
“And then, once I’ve finished and you can see that I’ve included all my workings and made proper reference to my sources, including book titles and page numbers, you can decide what my reward is.”
She batted her eyelids at the human lasciviously.
“And remember; firm but fair” she added as she settled herself down in front of her writing tools.
A rosy red apple surrounded in a purple glow floated across the room and settled on ‘Mr Michaelides’ desk. A few seconds later the library’s kitchen timer joined it, the dial preset so the alarm would go off in thirty minutes. All it needed was a push of the button and it would start its countdown.
“So, when can I start?” The eager mare asked.
Lero facepalmed. What was he ever going to do with this girl?
*****************
The sun was just beginning to set as Princess Celestia landed gracefully on the balcony of her sister’s tower. As her hooves touched down, the large double doors from the main chamber opened and Princess Luna stepped out.
“Greetings, my sister” the princess of the night said as she stifled a yawn with a wingtip, “have we missed breakfast?”
“No, my sister.” Celestia replied “I have been awaiting your emergence to enquire if you would like to join me in my chambers for our evening meal?”
“Yes, that would be most pleasant.” It was taking a while for Luna’s grasp of modern Equestrian to become ingrained and for a short while after she first awoke for the evening her language would be all over the place. “Pray tell, has the matter we discussed on yesterday’s eve been handled?”
“Indeed it has. I wrapped, addressed and passed it onto the castle postmaster myself.”
“Splendid.” Luna graced her sister with a smile “How long do you think it will take?”
“Truthfully, I do not know. Young Twilight has grown much these past few years; she has embraced the magic of friendship, risen to every challenge that has presented itself before her and even found love outside of her species. This would have all been impossible for her just a few short years ago. But, even now I fear that she still has much growing to do.”
“Hmm,” Luna nodded in agreement, “We... I am... acquainted with her sire and-”
Her sister’s raised eyebrow and knowing look was all it took to throw the Lunar alicorn off guard.
“Please, my sister, keep thou mind out of the gutter” Luna protested, “We are just friends, that is all.”
“And would alcohol be involved?” The alicorn of the day asked, a teasing tone working its way through her simple question.
“Maybe.” Luna scowled, “Anyway, it would seem that her sire is of the same opinion. He is most proud of his daughter’s growth, but believes that she still has a long way to go. Also, it would appear she has yet to realise that her lineage will lead to her one day inheriting the Duchy of Smaragdvea.”
“Yes, that is true.” Celestia’s face took on an expression that, many centuries ago, would have made her sister’s blood run cold - that of a plan being formed. “Maybe we can help that little revelation along a little? Perhaps a quiet word with her dam?”
Whether it be part of her own plan or not, Celestia’s upper lip curled slightly at the thought of having to talk to that... professor.
“After all, she is well known to ‘drop the occasional bomb-shell’ as it were.” The solar alicorn continued, her face once more slipping back into its mask of perfect serenity “We could use that to our advantage if young Twilight has not stumbled upon that particular insight on her own by the time her twenty fifth birthday approaches.”
“Well, we are in no real hurry.” Luna added “It would be a big change for her, and a decision not to be taken lightly. After all, alicornhood is forever.”
“That is also true, my sister” Celestia agreed, “and in a sense, we have all the time in the world.”
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...
Twilight... What are we going to do with you?
hahaaa so many threads...
Poor Lero as well, stuck grading her papers. Well. At least the view is nice.
(yay derpy!)
Now I kinda want to see a later-years Lero actually teaching a class on comparative sociology. A bunch of college students sitting to listen to their omnivorous bipedal alien professor highlighting the cultural differences and similarities in Equestria, using his own native culture for comparison... that could be interesting to see. Rather like some of the bits Twilight wrote, but from Lero's perspective and directly interacting with students.
3238097
And they all show up to class wearing what Twilight told them was the standard attire?
Also: Bonus points for the song ref.
Drats I wanted to see how the schooling was going to go . . .
A study session and a sexy teacher, Twilight you perv.
I got it bad, I got it bad, I got it bad, I'm hot for teacher!
Y'know, honestly... If I were Lero, I'd probably look over Twilight's paper, sigh in exasperation, and claim "No, no, no! This essay on the cultural differences between Deerfolk and Bison are amazing, but... this has nothing to do with post-modern science advancements made with knowledge from all three tribes! I'm sorry little missy," and here's where I'll put on a stern, 'I'm disappointed in you' face, and start leaning in over her, "but I'll have to give you an 'F.'" Then I'd grin lecherously (can it be considered lecherous if it's your own mare?) and start loosening my belt. "Well, I guess I'll just give you a couple lashings so you remember what happens when you don't complete your work." And after some spanking, I'd start getting into the "real" foreplay. I'd save the whole "teacher-student kink night doesn't actually involve an assignment, but gives a couple the chance to have sex under the pretense of one (usually the male) doing it as a favor so the other (usually the female) doesn't get a "failing grade" for an unneeded and usually ludicrous work of education."
I wouldn't want to embarrass her out of the occasion, after all.
And now I'm wondering if Twilight dressed Dash in fetish gear during that one bit in "May the Best Pet Win"...
In any case, between the use of best pony and Twilight's adorable naivety, this was most enjoyable. Especially the Cosmare article on coups d'etat.
I'm suprised that Lero didn;t screamed insinde his head "NEEEERRRRDD". But I may be weird but Twi was super cute there.
3242171
Actually, I think you mean "NNNNEERRRD!"
Also, I'm with Dricanus. Quiet Man, you are an incorrigible tease.
"gray pegasus we used to by now."
I can't believe you brought the nether gloss back. Nor had I expected that Twilight would want to go that far with her role-playing. But lets face it. She totally would!
And it was nice to see Derpy again.
That was cute, especially the part with Derpy. It also got me more interested in that dynamic so I would definitely like to see some more exploration there at some point.
Nether gloss?... What, what is that? Do I want to know?
3250408 So it's been mentioned before?
3251524
Thy answers lie here, in the Xenophilia forum...
Keep thy mind out of the gutter.
I've written a blog post which explains further.
nice harry potter ref in there.
Derpy, you are odd and funny looking. But we wubs you anyway.
Missing period.
I could start naming things.
Wouldn't surprise me. I worked at a library, and we had three of those ladies. They were awesome though.
*Derpy.
Her muffin fetish worries me.
Missing a comma. Also missing a period after "flourish" next line.
NO NO NO NO NO. Bad Twilight! No sex for a week for reading that kind of trash!
Lero, you are a grade 'A' troll. Well played!
Lero, I don't know why you expected anything else from that filly.
Missing a comma.
Also missing a comma.
Comma, not a period.
Missing a comma. Also, that's no fun. Also also, how is Celestia supposed to encourage you?
Several more punctuation errors in the last few lines.
And suddenly I'm tense.
I don't get like that with new books, but this is Twilight, it bears the royal crest, and that could be a very specific book.