2: When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead.
WHEN LOGIC AND PROPORTION HAVE FALLEN SLOPPY DEAD.
Chapter published 8th Dec 2012
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Two things struck Lero as he slowly opened his eyes. Firstly, he had absolutely no idea where he was. Secondly, and slightly more important right at this moment, was that his head felt like someone had just popped its top, filled it full of ice cream and given it all a stir with a two-pound lump hammer. Blinking his eyes, his vision started to clear, but until the work-crew in his head clocked off for the night it wasn’t going to do him much good.
“Guys, seriously, give it a rest. “He mumbled, clamping his hands over his eyes to block out the awful awful light.
The last time he’d awoken like this, disorientated and alone and lying in his back in the grass, it was back when he’d first found himself stranded on the edge of the Everfree forest all those months ago. Back then all he’d felt was confusion and fear; this time all he felt was confusion and at least a grade ten headache. For some reason that his brain didn’t seem to feel the need to share with him he wasn’t afraid, as if he was somehow certain that he was safe and that he’d be seeing his herd again soon. To be honest he’d have given his right arm to have been that confident last time around.
Sitting up he looked around, hoping for some clue as to where he was, which turned out to be one heck of a mistake, so he stopped doing it.
“OK, so make that confusion, a grade ten headache and nausea like a son of a… Ohhh”
After taking a number of deep breaths, counting to twenty and wishing upon every God, Goddess, Deity and corporate mascot that he could remember that Equestria had managed a sudden technological breakthrough and invented Tylenol or paracetamol or something, anything, Lero gingerly sat up again. No wave of nausea struck him this time so he thought he’d chance standing, which worked out better for him than sitting up had done.
Looking around he could see that he was in a large hemispherical cave, easily large enough for a four-story building to fit within. The cave appeared to be well lit but there didn’t seem to be any light sources and the domed top of the cave was sealed with no hint of sky or daylight to be seen. Lero was standing near the outer wall of the cave on the grassed bank of what looked like a small river. Across from him was a similarly grassed bank and what, now that Lero’s headache was starting to subside, he could see was an island. The lone occupant of this island was a large tree, easily reaching a good way toward the ceiling but ultimately more wide than tall. Though he had no idea why, he had a strong urge to make towards the tree.
Taking a few tentative steps Lero found that the soft grass beneath his feet was actually a whole lot softer than it had any right to be. Taking a few steps back and forth he couldn’t shake the feeling that it felt much like walking bare foot around Rainbow’s cloud home. The was a slight bounce to it, the temperature was just right, feeling lovely and cool, but not cold on the soles of his feet. Wiggling his toes he could feel the gentle tickle of each individual blade upon his skin.
It was then he realised he’d lost his shoes.
“Oh boy.” Lero turned around as fast as he dare, casting about for his errant footwear. “Rarity spent ages making those.” And indeed she had; human style shoes weren’t exactly in big demand in a country where almost every sapient creature had hooves
Picking a direction on a whim, he walked along the bank looking for his shoes, looking both in the grass and down into the crystal clear water of the river, which he noticed was flowing in the opposite direction to him. After a short while he came upon a flattened piece of grass in a vaguely human-y, Lero-y shape.
“Back where we began, Lero.” He stated, wondering what to do next. The urge to move towards the tree was still pulling at him and as he looked over at the island he realised that the river had ceased its flow. Walking back the way he had come by a few paces the river started flowing once more, again contra to his own direction of travel making it the opposite way to its previous flow “Really? I’m getting trolled by the scenery?”
The urge to get closer to the tree had become overpowering by now, but there was no way to reach it without going though the water. The river, or moat, or whatever it was, was just too wide to jump and there was nothing Lero could use to float himself over it with. He was just going to have to try to swim it.
Stopping at the water’s edge, he tentatively lifted one foot into the still water, or at least he would have if he hadn’t found his foot stopped by the surface of the river. Pulling his foot back he tried once more and again he found his foot resting on top of the water rather than passing straight through it. Pushing against the water he found that although it had a bit of give in it, and ripples moved away from his foot with every bit of extra pressure, it was fairly solid.
Looking at his foot, then over to the island, then back to his foot, Lero considered his next move. As he stood there a feminine voice drifted towards him from the island, carrying a tone much like a mother gently encouraging a small child. “Just try it, you’ll be fine.“
A quick glance over at the tree showed that it was still the sole occupant of the small island. The part of his brain that had been telling him he was safe and that everything would be alright had by now added the idea of throwing caution to the wind to its repertoire of sage advice, something Lero decide to have a crack at as he moved his other foot over to join the first on the water’s surface.
It held, he was actually standing on a river. It was one of the strangest situations he’d ever found himself in, and after arriving in world populated by magical talking ponies this was saying something. The sensation of standing on water was unreal. The closest thing his mind could come up with was standing on the softest, finest sand imaginable. His feet had sunk into the water by the tiniest amount as he had put his weight on it, but it had supported him just fine while keeping a small amount of give in it. Rainbow had once tried to describe what walking on clouds felt like for those who didn’t need cloud-walking spells, like birds and Pegasus ponies for whom it came naturally. Lero hoped that this was what it was like, as it felt wonderful.
A rebellious part of his brain very soon pointed out that throwing caution to the wind was all well and good, but pushing your luck was almost never a good idea. Therefore ‘standing on water’ was quickly replaced with ‘moving swiftly on water’.
As he reached the opposite bank he could swear he could hear soft laughter coming from all around him. Looking back at the river, a large number of ripples making their way across the surface the only testament to his frantic, and somewhat undignified, dash across its expanse, he was glad that someone had found the whole thing amusing.
Turning from the river and moving towards the tree he was struck by its familiar smell, definitely something from his past even though he couldn’t quite place it. A memory floated into his head, that of an old woman under a tree much like this one. With a tingling sensation in the back of his brain the memory became clearer; she was the old lady that lived a few doors away from Lero’s family when he’d been younger. Come Christmas time she’d take leaves and small branches from the tree and craft them into wreaths to give to the neighbours to put on their front doors. Lero would go then go door to door with her, helping her fix them to the houses of those who couldn’t do it themselves.
“A lovely memory.“ The same disembodied voice from before. “And quite telling about you as a person.”
Lero spun in place, looking around but there was still no other living soul to be seen. He wandered around the tree, looking up into its branches but he was still totally alone on the island.
“I’m glad you could join me.” The voice floated into his ears from every direction and no direction all at once. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while now but this is the first chance we’ve really had.”
Like spotting the one thing you’ve been searching high and low for only to realise it’s been right in front of you the whole time, there she was. Rounding the tree’s trunk was a large snow-white unicorn, though part of Lero’s mind was particularly insistent that not only was the trunk nowhere near wide enough to hide a unicorn of her size, but that she was actually stepping out of the tree trunk itself.
As the entirety of her body came into view it became obvious from the large white wings folded up against her sides that she was an alicorn like Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Unlike the princesses she seemed to lack that air of regality that followed the royal sisters wherever they went. Instead she had an air of… comfort and experience that can only be commanded by the very old or the very wise. She wore no regalia; she didn’t need to, her very being spoke of an entity of great power, one that had no interest in standing on ceremony.
Her mane and tail appeared to be made of living fire, though strangely they didn’t seem to radiate any extra light or heat as they danced in the air behind her as flames would dance from a bonfire. Her large blue eyes looked kind with a hint of mischief, but behind it all they looked a bit… harried.
“Come, sit a while, I don’t get many visitors these days.” She lifted a hoof to indicate the space behind Lero. Turning to see what she was pointing at revealed a large table made of a rich dark wood surrounded by a number of circular stools covered in what looked like cream coloured leather.
“It’s usually just the Princesses, maybe the occasional Shaman or Oracle, a few others. That old goat Star Swirl was always a hoot.” A hoof moved to cover her mouth then waved in his direction “By the way, don’t believe half what you read about him.”
She moved closer to the table. “Plus Pinkie drops in whenever she can. Mind you, sometimes it’s that jerk, Discord.” She visibly shuddered. “Urrgh, now that’s a mind I could do without seeing. Never can manage a decent manifestation while he’s around.”
This was all going way over Lero’s rather beleaguered head and the still present throbbing made her offer seem very appealing. He moved to one of the stools and sat down, finding it to be ridiculously comfortable. The alicorn trotted over to a stool across the corner of the table from him and hopped up onto it in a manner that a creature of her size had no business doing. She also had no business sitting on a stool the same size as his and still managing to be at his eye level. On the whole this was all very disconcerting.
“Sorry, it’s been quite a while since I talked to a human so I’m a bit out of practice. I’m pulling as much from your head as I can but you’re not exactly firing on all cylinders at the moment. I’m getting a whole lot of noise here.”
“So where am I” Lero looked around. The tree took the opportunity to wave its leaves around in the breeze. The effect ruined somewhat by the fact that in this apparently sealed cave there was no breeze to speak of.
“What, here, or the real world?” The alicorn smiled serenely but said nothing more.
“Real what?" That work-crew in his head was making a comeback.
“Out in the real world, well as ‘real’ as any of these worlds can be, you, my dear boy, are completely wasted.” The alicorn again gave him that serene smile again.
“…” Lero’s brain wasn’t feeling like playing this game anymore.
“Oh yes.” The smile was getting larger.” Big McIntosh carried you home and Rainbow Dash put you to bed.” The alicorn tilted her head and carried on smiling. Something about those teeth wasn’t quite right; too sharp, they hadn’t been like that a moment ago. “She’d never admit it but she’s got a wonderful heart that one. No wonder she’s one of my favourites.”
“…” Still nothing from the old gray matter.
“You’re going to be sleeping it off for a while, which gives us a little time to talk about what’s troubling you.” She leant forwards and held a glass of water out towards him. “Here, this might help.“
As Lero reached out and took the glass from her hoof he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something wrong with the way she was holding it. She hadn’t been resting it on her hoof as ponies usually did; she’d been holding it as if she had fingers. But that was definitely a hoof, no fingers there.
He looked at his own fingers holding the glass in front of him, then the glass itself. “Will it?”
“Not really. But no-one’s told your brain that so give it a go, see what happens.”
Lero knocked the fluid back in one shot. It felt like water, tasted like water. The sudden cold working its way down his throat was soothing but his headache just laughed at him, told him to try again.
“Better?”
“Not really.”
“Oh well, was worth a try.” She shrugged. Ponies, even alicorns, shouldn’t be shrugging like that. “Well we’ve not got a lot of time so we’d best get a wriggle on.”
“So what’s all this?” He waved the empty glass around to indicate their surroundings. “Where are we?”
“Somewhere we can talk.”
“So if it’s not real, this is what then, inside my head?”
“In a way, yes…” Her mane was flowing out to her left, then it decided to change its mind and started flowing to her right. “Then in another way, no. But as analogies go, it’ll do.”
Lero looked around the cave, at its curved walls and up to its highest point. The handyman in him stared working out approximate distances against the value of pi in order to obtain the volume of the cavern. The alcohol in his bloodstream told him to shut up and just accept that it was massive and leave it at that. “I just thought it’d be a little less… roomy.”
“Well it is bigger on the inside.”
Lero just glared.
“Hey, you’re the one whose mind won’t stay on track. I’m trying my best here, you’re the one with the brain leaking cultural references all over the place.” She turned away, muttering to herself “Seriously, have a hand in creating a whole new reality and still get lip from a blitzed human.”
“Speaking of which, this might help.” She leant towards him again, this time holding out a large mug of what smelt like hot black coffee.
“You sure?” he took the mug from her, noting that once again the way she was holding it looked… off. It was as if part of her hoof was actually through the handle of the mug. It was something no hoof should be able to do; a fact that had always made him wonder why Equestrian mugs even had handles in the first place.
“I’m starting to get the hang of you now so hopefully this should do the trick.”
Lero took a sip. Even if it did no good it tasted damn good. Pony coffee was good, but it just didn’t compare to human coffee. The memory of early mornings and breakfast with his family came to mind.
He looked up at the smiling alicorn. “Two sugars. How’d you know?” She just continued to smile.
Waiting for him to take a few more sips she then started to explain. “All of this.” She waved her head from side to side, using her horn to take in the whole room. “It all comes from you and what you can cope with. There‘s a lot of conditions that have to be met, a number of circumstances that have to align before we can communicate. It helps that there’s something troubling you, I can use that as a grab-hold though your filters. I’d hoped we could talk about it in a setting with a bit more stability.” She shrugged again in a rather human manner, it still looked odd. “But you take what you can get.”
Around them the walls of the cavern seemed to close in, but at the same time the volume of the room didn’t seem to get any smaller, if anything it got larger. The stone walls slowly morphed into what appeared to be miles upon miles of wooden shelving, interspersed by the occasional closed drawer and cupboard door. The shelves were crammed to bursting with books, knickknacks, more books, old childhood toys, tools and all manner of other paraphernalia. Old film reels and videotapes were mixed in with DVD cases and newer technology that Lero only vaguely recognised. The shelves continued up across the curve of the roof, each tapering onto a point to meet with the others like the segments of an orange. The contents of each top shelf soundly gave gravity the finger as they steadfastly refused to fall to the ground far below.
“It’s every piece of literature you’ve ever read, every movie or show you’ve ever seen, every conversation you’ve ever had. It’s a bit disorganized at the moment though. Must be the maid’s day off or something.”
“Look at all the books. “ Lero marveled as he turned in his seat to take them all in “This would make Twilight so...”
“Moist?” She offered.
Lero snorted even though he hadn’t meant to. “No, well yes, but no, not what I meant to say. I meant to say ‘giddy’.”
There was a tingling in his head and the thought of archers dressed in green, wearing felt hats and riding horses though a glen came to mind. As it subsided a book hurtled by his ear and thumped to a stop in the alicorn’s suddenly outstretched hoof, like a baseball into a catchers mitt. She laid the book down on the table with her magic and as she opened the pages the sound of an orchestra seeped out, the music rolling past them on its way around the room, violins and oboes competing in a grand symphony.
“Rossini.” She commented with a smile. “Nice.“
Lero moved to speak but with another tingle he was suddenly struck the by the memory of a muted orange sky and a great swarm of flying machines moving in formation, only their silhouettes visible against the heavens. Another book passed his ear, it’s journey ended like its brethren at the outstretched hoof of the waiting alicorn. This book however, had brought it’s own catchers mitt with it.
Laying the newly arrived book on top of previous arrival, and the mitt next to it on the table, she gently opened the leather bound tome. Again the sounds of a mighty orchestra escaped to prance around their ears, this time with less woodwind than before but with much more brass. The pages of the book flapped about as a bombastic anthem surged from within.
“Wagner” Lero commented, surprised by the sheer amount of force the book was bouncing around the table with.
“Indeed.” She struggled to close the book. “Got some balls to it, hasn’t it?” The music faded as the rather energetic tome finally lost its battle against the alicorn’s magic. “It’s all here, everything about humanity that shaped you as a person, for better or for worse.”
As the alicorn released her magic and relaxed back into her stool the book suddenly bounced in place, flipping itself open as the music within forced its way out, joined this time what Lero assumed must have been one heck of a fat lady. As his companion forced the pages closed again, there was the unmistakable smell of burning petrochemicals and scorched meat left lingering in the air.
Lero waved his hand in front of his face, hoping to push the offending smell away. Soon all he could smell was fresh grass and hot coffee. With a dismissive gesture of the alicorn’s hoof the two books and the catcher’s mitt sped off back to their places on the shelves. Lero watched them go and when he turned back the alicorn was happily sipping from her own mug.
“So it’s all here, even the bad stuff?” Lero asked. The alicorn looked up over the top of her mug as he continued. “To be honest there’s a whole lot about humanity I could quite happily have left behind.“
She stopped sipping “Well I for one am glad you brought this with you.” She took another sip. “Ahhh, Earl Grey. The drink of the gods.” She put the mug down on the table. “But yes, it’s all here. Gotta take the rough with the smooth I’m afraid. But just because it’s all here doesn’t mean you have to relive it all though. Now you’ve been here once it should be easier for you to find what you need later on.” She looked around. “Once you’ve had a bit of a tidy-up that is.“
“So who are you?” Lero closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose hoping it’d help. It didn’t. “Are you real or are you just a figment of my imagination?”
“Yes.” At the roll of her companion’s eyes she carried on. “I’m both real or not depending on your point of view. I’m the stuff of myths and legends. I was there at the start and I’ll be there at the end.” While she was speaking a black cloak had been developing around her, seeming to form out of thin air. Unseen hands pulled the folds of cloth over her head to hide her face, which appeared to become gaunt, her eyes sank back into her skull as her visage slipped away from view. Her body decreased in size until Lero was left sitting opposite what appeared to be a hooded humanoid, its face concealed by shadow.
“I am both ends of the journey, the snake biting it’s own tail.” Her voice came softly from under the cowl, the same gentle feminine voice as before but to Lero it now felt like it was the loudest thing he had ever heard. It was deafening in it softness.
“Many who feel my presence are overcome by fear. They see me as the predator stalking them all through their lives, not the ever-present companion that accompanies them every step of their journey.” White skeletal fingers reached from the cloak’s sleeves and moved towards the hood, developing layers of flesh and skin over the bones as they moved. By the time they started to pull the hood back they were long and delicate and most certainly those of a human woman. “They cannot see that the beginning and the end are both just different pages in the same story book; becoming overwhelmed they let their emotions rule them.”
The hood was down now and the still bone white hands moved away. Sitting across the table was now a young woman with long raven hair and the palest skin Lero had ever seen. Her black lipstick and mascara, a small black symbol etched on the outer corner of her eye, contrasted directly against her alabaster skin. With her un-naturally dark irises she looked like the subject of an old monochrome photograph. She must have been barely old enough to be out of college but something about her seemed just so… old.
At this point Lero decided to keep his mouth shut, just in case he put his foot straight in it.
“Not the best look?” She asked looking down at herself. “Ok, I might have overdone it a bit. Hang on, I’ll try again.”
Lero didn’t see how it happened, but she changed. It wasn’t as if she had one face one minute and a different one the next, it was more like her appearance was suddenly new but at the same time everything about her insisted that she’d always looked this way. It was as if her new look was managing to move in both directions in time at once, slowly rewriting history to match the here and now. Lero’s brain was starting to throb again and he decided that the safest option was just to go with it.
The long unruly black hair had smoothed itself out as well as changing to a deep red, much darker than Lero’s own. The front had shortened itself back to form a fringe just above her eyebrows. Her lips and skin-tone had also taken on a shade much closer to his and her dark cloak had shrunk down into a close-fitting black shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbows. Leaning to the side he could see the bottom half of the cloak had recreated itself as a pair of dark blue denim jeans, a bare pair of pale pink feet protruding from the ends of the legs.
She looked over at him and smiled. “Better?”
“Yes, thanks.” This was all getting a bit too surreal for this time of... night? “So, what do I call you?”
“Ohh, names, yes, I’ve had a few. More than a few actually.” The way she wavered slightly from side to side in her seat told him that she was swinging her feet under the table. Even though she looked to be in her early thirties the impression of a young girl with too much pent up energy was hard to ignore.
“Many call me ‘The Keeper’, as in the keeper of stories. I rather like that one.” As if to illustrate her point a number of the books on the shelves around them lifted themselves from their perches and floated over their heads before heading back to their allotted spaces. Lero could swear he heard one ‘coo’ like a roosting pigeon as it settled back into place.
“Back in the olden days one particular tribe of ponies called me ‘The Fist’, not sure why though. But they were a particularly efficient bunch, almost ruthlessly so, so they must have had their reasons.” A sip of tea was accompanied by a most un-ladylike slurp.
“Others call me ‘The Mother of Equestria’, though it wasn’t just me, others helped, I just got it going.”
The coffee was doing wonders for Lero’s headache. He opened his mouth to ask a question, but she seemed to be getting into her stride so instead he sat back, content just to just listen.
“There’s an old pony legend that at the dawn of time I escaped the great fire and traveled the heavens as the penultimate of the twenty great sun-flares.” She leant back on her stool, putting one hand on her chest she threw the other hand towards the ceiling as if reciting a great speech from upon a stage “That I used my flame to create Celestia and her sun, from my embers came Luna with her moon and stars and that my core became the world beneath their hooves.”
She rested her arms back on the table, curling her hands around her mug before leaning forward again as if to share a huge secret. “All a bit grandiose if you ask me though.” She whispered.
“So did you?” He took another sip, this coffee was so good.
“What?”
“Forge the world anew?”
“Maybe.”
“Create the Princesses?”
“Might have done.”
“I’m not going to get much in the way of a straight answer am I?” This was getting painful and it wasn’t just due to the throbbing still going on behind his eyes.
“Not ‘till you sober up, no.” She leant back in her seat, giving Lero a warm smile that spread right across her face. “But then if you were sober I couldn’t talk to you. So, bit of a Catch 22 situation isn’t it?”
The smile was getting just a little too large for a human face, its corners fast approaching facial territory that only human ears had a right to be in. The view was unnerving to say the least so he looked away, busied himself studying the rich polished mahogany of the tabletop. He felt a slight tingle in his brain, somewhere under the receding headache.
“Sorry.” She said softly. He looked back and saw the smile had become a bit smaller, more natural, but it hadn’t lost any of its warmth.
A small section of Lero’s brain suddenly caught up with a part of the proceedings that he’d missed first time around. “Whoa, hang on, back up a bit. You said Pinkie Pie comes to visit?”
“Oh yes. She’s so sweet that one, in both senses of the word. She’s a little sweet on you too” The smile changed to something that definitely knew what the word ‘cheeky’ meant. “She visits when she can. She’s one of the few ponies whose brain actually has enough…” She paused as if to think of the right word.
“Holes?” Lero’s mouth provided before his brain knew what was going on.
“Flexibility” A slight giggle. “She’s surprisingly astute that one. Most people can’t handle unfiltered reality like she can, they either go mad or they just completely blank it out. Pinkie’s brain has a certain…” She rolled her hand in front of her. For someone who’d had hooves just a minute ago she certain liked using her hands. “…malleability that means she can handle it. Other ponies seem to think that her problem is that she’s not seeing the world the way they do, instead it’s really the other way around. What Pinkie’s seeing is the world the way that everyone else sees it. ”
“So how’s that a problem?” Lero drained his coffee, letting the last of it slide its way over his tongue. As he lowered the mug he was surprised to see it was actually half full again.
“Well you see the world the way you see it, Rainbow sees the world the way Rainbow sees it, Twilight sees it the way Twilight sees it.” She walked two of her fingers across the table as she spoke.
”Everyone has their own filters on reality, meaning they perceive only a very small part of the whole, just the bit that’s relevant to them. Pinkie, she sees it the way you all see it, all at once, plus however many other ponies she’s picking up on at the time.” She spread her hand wide, all five digits making contact with the table at the same time. “It’s not like she’s seeing directly through your eyes or anything, more like she’s seeing it through your own personal perception filters, layers upon layers of reality that she has to cope with. It can do funny things to a pony, that kind of truth. As I said she’s lucky she’s pliable enough to cope.”
She let out a short laugh “Well, almost. She misfires a lot of the time but it’s all good.”
“The fine line between genius and insanity?” Lero pondered.
“Indeed. Though I wouldn’t go quite that far” She looked down at her steaming beverage, seeming to find the diminished level of her tea fascinating “I do so love her visits, she’s like pure delight in pony form, the very epitome of the Element of Laughter.” She hung a small silver teaspoon from her fingers and let it swing around idly within her mug. Lero was one hundred percent certain it hadn’t been in her hand before. “But I always feel a little sad that I’m the only one who will remember them. I remember all my visits, all my visitors, every single one. I remember them all when they’re gone.”
She looked away as if attempting to hide oncoming tears; it was obvious to Lero that this was not the direction she’d wanted this little chat to go in.
“So when I wake up, am I going to have forgotten all this.” Lero put his mug down and waved his hand around, taking in the entire cave.
“The details, yes. But any feelings you take away with you from this place will stay with you.” She took another sip of her tea, which now seemed to smell of mint. “You have something weighing on your mind so come on, out with it.”
Lero folded his arms over his chest and leant back in his seat. If there was ever a piece of textbook defensive body language, this was it.
“If we’re in my head, shouldn’t you already know what’s bothering me?”
She put down her tea and reached over to pat his arm. “Indeed I do, but it’ll help you more if you come out with it yourself.“
Lero lent forward and glared at the table as if all the answers could be found just under the shine of it’s polished surface. Opening and closing his mouth a few times he finally spoke.
“I can’t hear the music.”
“Go on.” She picked up the tea again and took a sip. Camomile now.
“Ponies, they can hear the music, Whenever there’s that whole song and dance thing going on, they can hear it, even if they don’t know they can, they can. They know their words, they know their moves, it’s all just there.” Arms unfolded, he now scratched at the tabletop with one finger. “Twilight said it’s to do with the way that the magic of harmony is embedded in the fabric of Equestria.”
Another sip of tea. Orange now, maybe a hint of cinnamon.
“I don’t know, it just made me feel like...” He stopped to check the state of his fingernails. A classic stalling technique that wasn’t going to work for long. “It made me realise that no matter how much I try, no matter how long I’m here, I’m never really going to fit in. I’m never really going to belong.”
“Rainbow says it’s no big deal, says it doesn’t change a thing. Maybe she’s right. Heck, Applejack says she’d rather she didn’t keep getting dragged into the whole thing and that she’d give me her parts in a heartbeat if she could. Thing is she’s got a great voice when she stops fretting about the whole thing and lets herself enjoy it.”
He picked up a coaster that hadn’t been there when he’d put down his mug. Pinching it between his thumb and middle finger he used his forefinger to spin it around, something he had yet to see anyone else on Equestria manage to do.
“Thing is, love it or loath it, she’s actually got that option, ya’ know. Not me, I don’t get to play.” Lero knew he was starting to sound like a petulant child but now he’d started he just couldn’t stop.
“Not me, not the hairless monkey.” He flicked the coaster away, letting it skitter across the table. They both sat there for a moment, the only sounds being the sipping of tea and the tapping of a single fingernail on the tabletop before Lero spoke again.
“Twilight wants me to go with her to Canterlot in a couple of weeks, seems the university wants to talk to her about a research fellowship, which is great news. Thing is, she wants me to meet her parents while we’re there and it’s making me nervous. I mean look at me. I’m not exactly what any loving parent expects their little filly to be bringing home am I?”
He looked away as if he was ashamed of what he said next. “Only upside I can see of Rainbow not talking to her parents. At least she doesn’t have to worry about disappointing them when I turn up.”
Silence again.
“Apparently Princess Luna’s had some ideas regarding some really old amniomorphic resonance spells that’s had Twilight all in a tizzy recently. Something about turning me, or parts of me at least, into a pony for a while. Perhaps that’s something we should be looking into. When in Rome and all that. Would make it a heck of a lot easier to blend in.”
The former alicorn put down her mug and rested a hand on top of his. “The truth?” she asked, the look in her eye told him that he might not like what he was going to hear. Lero looked down at the table again before looked back at her and giving a almost imperceptible nod.
“Truthfully, you’re right. You’re never going to completely fit in, not the in way you’re talking about.” She stood up, beckoning Lero to follow as she moved away from the table. Reaching the river’s edge she walked straight out onto its surface. Tentatively Lero tested the water with his toes and, satisfied that it would hold his weight once more, he walked out and joined her in the middle of the river.
Looking down he could see both of their reflections in the water. He looked the way he always looked; maybe a little ragged around the edges but on the whole the same as he had that morning. The person next to him was a different story. While the form standing next to him stayed as a pretty young human female, her reflection seemed to be in state of flux; continually morphing between that of a red-headed human, a snow-white alicorn, a humanoid figure cloaked in black and a column of twisting fire. There were also several other shapes thrown in that his brain insisted it wasn’t yet in any fit state to deal with and probably never would be.
“Imagine this river is Equestria, every pony born here, everything item created here, every bit of magic summoned here, it’s all there within it.” Sitting down on her haunches she plunged her hand under the surface, ripples spreading out from around her wrist and lapping against their toes. Pulling her hand back out she opened it to show half a dozen ice cubes sitting in her palm. “This is them.”
She held out her other hand, resting in its palm was a single ice cube. “This is you.”
She passed it over to Lero who bounced it in his hand a few times before holding it up to his eye. “This isn’t ice.” He stated, “It’s glass made to look like an ice cube.”
“Indeed” She took it back and put it in her other hand with the ice cubes. “Even if Luna teaches Twilight how to turn you into a pony, you won’t really be a pony, you’ll be a human in pony form. It might be better than the best Halloween costume ever, but you have to remember it’s still just a costume” She laid her free hand on his chest above his heart “You were born a human and you’ll die a human. Especially in here. You shouldn’t aspire to be anything else.”
She drew her hand back. “But, you’ll have to accept that you’re not of here, not of the same source, the magic just won’t affect you the same way. It’s not built into your soul like it is theirs.”
“But magic’s been cast on me before.” Lero pointed out. “It doesn’t always work very well, but it still works.“
”Oh yes, it still affects you, but not in the same way. Much like if I were to drop all of these…” She lifted her hand to highlight the six ice cubes and one glass cube in her palm. It was impossible to tell which of them wasn’t the same as the others by sight alone. “The river will eventually destroy every single one of them over time. The ice will melt, the glass will eventually wear away. Different methods, different time scale, same ultimate result.”
Turning her hand over she let the seven cubes slide off of her palm and drop into the water below them. “Hearing the music, it’s what you’d call a…” Lero’s brain tingled and for a moment the images of Orcs and Goblins and mighty battles in dungeons big enough to fit cathedrals came to mind before she continued. “A racial trait, or a passive skill if you like.”
“So I’m out of luck then.”
“Sorry, buddy, can’t re-spec.” She stopped, tapping a finger on her chin in thought “Well, maybe you can a little. Not had a situation like this before. “She stuck out her bottom lip and blew up at her fringe which bounced around in the sudden breeze. “Ooh, not done that for a while.“
“You see, Equestria’s underlying magic doesn’t really know what to make of you. As I said, you’re not from here. You’re like a fly in the ointment, or more like a piece of grit in an oyster. Eventually something could change and it might adapt around you, or adapt you to suit it maybe.” She sighed deeply. “Then again it might do nothing at all and everything will stay as it is. No one knows for sure yet, not even me.”
She clapped a hand on his shoulder as she stood up, moving back towards the table. Lero followed, settling back onto his stool. Picking up his mug he was surprised to find it both full and piping hot. The coffee was still magnificent though the flavour had changed, slightly earthier this time.
The woman now sat opposite him sipped from her own mug. The smell of ginger made it’s way over to Lero’s nose. “Not to say you don’t have an important part to play while you’re here. You’re something that Equestria needs very badly right about now.”
Lero just raised a questioning eyebrow.
“You’re an ‘other’. a true outsider and this means you bring something with you that ponies lack; a whole new point of view. You’re like a mirror that can actually talk back. As they look at you, and in turn see how you look back at them, they’ll see something about themselves that they may have been too blind to see before, things that maybe they haven’t wanted to see.” She took another sip. “And goodness knows that they could do with a good kick in the derriere right about now.”
She pondered her mug a moment before continuing. “Ponies think that their world is so perfect, and in a way it is, maybe a little too perfect. But it’s not going to stay that way forever. Part of the problem is that at their core they’re still herd animals, even after evolution’s done its part.“ She leaned forward again and whispered conspiratorially. “I might have helped it out a bit there though…”
Another sip and she leant back with a smile that made the word ‘smug’ come to mind. “But ultimately they still have a herd mentality. They find it hard the think like the ‘other’, to put themselves in another person’s shoes, so to speak. While it’s not a major issue right now, it could cause problems later on with the likes of the griffins, the dragons, the changelings, that kind of thing.”
“So by dealing with me.“ Lero indicated towards himself. “They’re learning to deal with other non-pony races?”
“Exactly.” Her tone made Lero think he should be expecting a gold star right about now. “It had started already with Spike, but he’s too small, and he’d been raised by ponies anyway, so his impact on society was minimal. Donkeys are enough like ponies that the differences are negligible and although a number of griffins have integrated into society, the griffin race at large still remains a bit of a mystery to the common pony.”
Another sip, ginseng maybe? “But you, my boy. You are, and will continue to be, so radically different that you’ll be able to make an actual difference. Many of them don’t like change so it’s going to take a while for it all to sink in. There are a lot of prejudices and those stuffy traditionalists to get over as well but they’ll get there. Plus, with it being so all up in their faces with figuring they should treat you, they’ll have to think about how they’re treating each other while they’re at it.”
Lero’s brain worked over what she’d been saying. The caffeine in the coffee had been working it’s magic for a while now and the headache had long since passed. A thought occurred. “But wouldn’t they have eventually figured this all out on their own? I mean, They’ve got the princesses to guide them so I’m sure that even if mistakes were made it wouldn’t get too far out of hand.”
“That’s true.” She nodded, it seemed as if she had been waiting for him to start questioning her reasoning. “But look at what’s happened with humanity. You’re all the same species and on the whole you can’t even manage to get along for more than five minutes. Almost every major conflict has been brought on by two groups of people, who from an outside perspective have far more in common than they have differences, fumbling their way though a whole series of mistakes and misunderstandings which eventually escalates into unimaginable bloodshed and cruelty.”
She traced her finger round the rim of her mug, keeping her head lowered as if not wanting to look up at him at that point. “Sure, I could get involved in pony events, even the princesses could take a more ‘hooves on’ authoritative approach, but that kind of defeats the purpose of it all doesn’t it.”
She sighed a sigh that seemed as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders. Which, of course, could actually be the case. “Apart from that, Celestia doesn’t have it within her to be as harsh as she would need to be, especially with what happened with Luna all those years ago. It’d just break her heart all over again. Luna could do it but it’d eventually just drive her back over the edge, and we don’t want a repeat of Nightmare Moon any time soon.”
They sat in silence for a moment, both of them pondering their respective beverages is if the demonstration of Brownian motion demonstrated within held the secrets of the universe. After what seemed like an eternity Lero found the other redhead watching him.
“Did Rainbow ever tell you that Luna held the Element of Loyalty before her?" She asked.
Lero slowly shook his head. “No, she said the sisters had used the elements to take down Discord, but never that they had each held specific elements.”
She nodded. “Celestia had Magic, Kindness and Laughter; fits her to tee really, well when she’s not being all royal and uptight. Luna took Loyalty, Honesty and Generosity…” She moved to wipe her eyes. “I was so proud of her, they’re not the easiest of elements to handle. Not everyone appreciates honesty, especially when it’s not what they want to hear. Generosity isn’t always as clear-cut as it seems; sometimes you have to withhold from someone what they want in order for them to obtain what they really need.”
Another few sips, lapsang. The woman really liked tea it seemed. “Same with Loyalty; it takes the ultimate in loyalty to put your friend before your friendship, even if saving one means losing the other. Rainbow’s wondering why the Element of Loyalty chose her, but she’ll get it eventually, she’s already on the right path to figuring it out for herself. It’s because out of all the current element bearers, she’s the one that’ll make the hard decisions. Did she tell you about the choice Discord gave her?”
Lero nodded. “She said he had her hypnotised and gave her the choice between her friends or the whole of Cloudsdale. She chose Cloudsdale.” He cast his mind back to the uncharacteristically emotional moment in which Rainbow had told him about the whole sorry affair. “I think she’s still pretty cut up about it. She blames herself for leaving her friends out to dry while she ran off to save a bunch of random clouds that didn’t need saving.”
His companion shook her head sadly. “She shouldn’t. Not only did Discord have her hypnotised but he also gave her a no-win situation. The important thing is that she made the call and stuck with it. Lesser mares would have just curled up in ball and cried, or tried to save both and in doing so saved neither. She’ll be OK eventually, she’s tough that one.”
She reached out and put her hand over Lero’s. “Not as tough as she pretends though. You’re good for her, you should remember that.”
A quick pat and she took her hand back. “Look, I’m not going to lie to you. Life’s not going to be all sweetness and roses. Bad shit happens to good people and you’re no exception. Into every life a little rain must fall and all that”
“They don’t have that expression here.” Lero noted.
“I know. Great, isn’t it?” For a moment it looked like the smile was about to head earwards again but luckily it stopped short of looking un-natural.
“And I’m sorry that I can’t tell you why you ended up in Equestria.”
“Can’t or won’t?” Lero took a last slug of his coffee. The mug stayed empty this time.
“Would it matter?” The serene smile was back.
A pause. The bottom of the coffee mug was scrutinised like it never had been before. Literally. “Not really.”
“Good lad.” She looked around them. “But what I can tell you is that you’ve got a lot to be getting on with."
Her hand swept to indicate the shelves, so near but yet so far. A collection of small photo frames suddenly came to Lero’s attention. They hadn’t moved any closer but suddenly Lero could make out their details as if he were holding them in his hands. While there were too many to count a few caught his eye; one of himself and Twilight on a couch, the mare crying in his arms; another of Rainbow Dash saluting Spitfire, both in Wonderbolts flight suits; himself and Lyra Heartstrings being mobbed by the Cutie Mark Crusaders, the three fillies slightly older than they were now and with their cutie-marks proudly displayed on their flanks. While the images looked as static as any other photograph, Lero could swear that they were moving.
“Snapshots of the future. Full of images of sorrow, pictures of delight, the things that go to make up a life.” She held out her hand and one of the frames leapt from its perch and was suddenly in her grasp. “Well, the most likely future as of now anyway. It’s not completely set in stone you know. It’s still yours for the making.”
Passing the single frame over to Lero he gazed down at the happy scene it portrayed. It showed a large gathering outside the main farmhouse over at Sweet Apple Acres. Ponies he was now coming to regard as friends were mixed in with a number that he didn’t know, it was almost as if the whole town was there. There seemed to be a sizeable congregation of stallions, himself included, gathered around the kitchen door. It was easily the easily the largest group of equestrian males that he’d ever seen in one place and it was evident that congratulations were being doled out.
A number of young colts and fillies, none of which he recognised, were running around their ankles like overexcited children playing in a forest. The now teenage Crusaders, well on their way to full marehood, were doing their best to keep them in order, failing miserably Lero noted as a smile crept to his lips. His eyes followed the action on through the myriad of mingling ponies to another group.
Standing near the path leading up to the house a veritable herd of mares were gathered. Looking closer Lero could see almost every mare he knew; from Twilight and Rainbow, their multicoloured manes making them hard to miss; to Mrs Cake and the ever exuberant Pinkie Pie, the twins from the spa, Ditzy Doo (Lero had never felt right using her nickname even though she’d claimed a number of times she actually didn’t mind it) and Dinky, even Mayor Mare was in attendance. In the middle of the group sat Fluttershy, with an aged white rabbit resting in the mane atop her head and a large cloth bundle cradled against her chest. From within the bundle poked the face of a tiny foal, its fur the vibrant orange of a freshly pulled carrot, a small hoof waving from between the cloth as if to greet the excited faces surrounding it.
“There’s a whole lot of living to be doing.” Lero’s companion gently took the frame from his hands and as if flicking away an unwanted playing card spun it away, returning it to its rightful place. “Be a shame to miss it, don’t you agree?”
Lero looked up, ready to agree when suddenly the room became slightly darker, causing him cast about for whatever had caused the change. While there was no visible light sources within view, several of the shelves were now bathed in darkness, as if whatever unseen lamp had been previously illuminating them had been turned off by an equally unseen hand. As his eyes moved around the room a number of other shelves joined them in the shadows.
“Looks like you’ll be waking up soon.” The woman sighed. “Our time together was always going to be short, but there is always so much more to be said.”
“So, any last minute advice before I go?” He glanced about at the darkness slowly encroaching from the edge of the room. All the shelves were indistinct now, their contents hidden from view.
She tipped her head, a movement Lero had taken in this short time he had gotten to know her to mean she was taking the time to ponder her next words. “Sweetie Belle’s debut performance; I’ve always liked ‘What a wonderful world’. It has a certain melancholic happiness, don’t you think? And just because you can’t hear the songs of harmony, doesn’t mean you can’t teach the ponies of Equestria the songs you know.
Lero couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “Chatting to a deity, and she tells me to crack out the Louis Armstrong.”
She joined him in his mirth. “What did you expect; the answer to life, the universe…”
“…And everything?” He finished for her. “No, I guess not.“
The darkness was making its way over the river now; the island itself would be next. He looked down at his bare feet, giving his toes a little wiggle in order to get one last feel of the soft springy grass beneath them. “Thank you.” He raised his head and looked her in the eye. “I may not remember all this, but you’ve helped. Really, you have. Letting me get it all off my chest, it’s helped a lot.
That serene smile again “Always a pleasure, never a chore.“
She leant forward, lifting her hand and holding it against Lero’s face, a thumb rubbing under his eye like a mother sweeping away a child’s tears. “One last thing though…” The darkness had encroached across most of his field of vision now and, even though she was still right in front of him, it felt as though she was suddenly much further away. Her hand, still on his cheek, felt unreal, like it was fading out of existence and he somehow knew that this could be the last time he felt another human’s touch as long as he lived.
“Don’t worry.” Her voice sounded like it was coming from deep inside his head rather then flowing from her lips. “Your first child; she’ll have her mother’s eyes.”
And she was gone.
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So there it is, chapter two. Originally it was chapter… well originally it wasn’t even a chapter. Chapter one expanded out to become chapters one and four. A throwaway paragraph became chapter two which has now become chapter three because this chapter spawned out of yet another throwaway comment. Like Twilight's errant snow-plough this tale is heading off on its own recognisance faster than I can keep up.
A huge amount of thanks go out to everyone that ‘s still reading. I’m enjoying the ride and I’m really glad you’re coming along with me.
BTW, this chapter is absolutely littered with references to other works; some obvious, some oblique. I hope you have fun trying to catch ‘em all.
Regarding a few of the previous comments (please, keep them coming):
Re: Lack of the sexy times: Again, I’ve got nothing against well written clop, porn etc, I just can’t write it. Also, I always felt that, like a loving relationship, if your story can’t handle being without the sex for a while without falling apart, then it probably wasn’t a that good a story/relationship to start with. (Of course, if your relationship ends up completely sexless for too long then you might need to start talking about what the buck’s going on and where’s the sexy times at?)
Re: The shonky writing in chapter one. Arrrgh, what was I doing? Even looking back at it now I can already see it’s jerky as hell. Hopefully after chapter four’s up I can go back and smooth it out a bit.
Thanks for reading.
QM
i hate cliff hangars
Whatever I was expecting when I opened this chapter, I did not expect this.
First I was like Whaaa
Then I understood and enjoyed the surrealism.
Also, I am surprised she didn't just try to tell him that the Answer to Life the Universe and Everything was 42.
Oddly enough, that last couple of lines was my favourite part. The implications! They reveal everything, and at the same time nothing at all.
And Lero's problem - he can't hear the music. That was just wonderful. Of course they'd all hear the music, it's part of the magic! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png And I don't think I've ever seen it addressed before, except maybe twice.
I've just tended to ignore it.
Kudos for tackling it head on and making it your bitch.
Your quotation mark seems a bit misplaced.
I have no sarcasm, no wit, and no philosophy to describe how damn good this is.
1765146 same here
1765193
Sorted, thanks.
I'm betting a few glitches more will surface pretty soon too.
Very nice. I was almost as weirded out as Lero to begin with (in a good way!), but it made enough sense in the end.
He's DEEEAD!!!!
Fallen... Sloppy... Dead...
That was a name. An interesting name, but a name nevertheless.
I like it.
Two things: One, the ending quote should be next to the period rather than the "He". Two, the "he" shouldn't be capitalized, as it's not starting a new sentence.
You're missing a question mark after "world".
You're missing a quote mark after "what?".
You're missing a period at the end of this sentence. Alternatively, if you want to connect it to the quote that follows, you need a comma and to drop the captial at the beginning of the quote.
"She" shouldn't be capitalized here, since it's not starting a sentence.
You're missing a period at the end of this quote.
"Certain" should be "certainly".
You're missing a period at the end of this quote.
You're missing a period at the end of this sentence.
"Loath" should be "loathe". "Loath" is a noun, "loathe" is a verb.
"They've" shouldn't be capitalized, since it's in the middle of a sentence and isn't a proper noun.
This sentence doesn't parse. Did you mean "as if" rather than "is if"?
You're missing a quote after "her?", and the "she" immediately following it shouldn't be capitalized.
You're missing a period at the end of this sentence.
Since "Lero noted" isn't a complete sentence, the quote it's attached to should end in a comma rather than a period.
You're missing a question mark after "matter".
You're missing a quote mark at the end of this dialogue.
You've got an extra "easily the" in there, and "Equestrian" should be capitalized, since it's a proper noun.
"Was no visible light sources" should be "were no visible light sources" to match plurality correctly.
You're missing a quote mark at the end of this sentence.
You're missing a quote mark at the end of this sentence.
You're missing a period after "again".
I read this while listening to this. Fit perfectly right at the end.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/212/587/2667328774161692252111104.gif
Louis Armstrong is the music of the fundamental forces of reality. Trufax.
I think that the last sentence should make him shit his intestines inside-out since he CAN'T knock up his mares.
Though I guess Twi's magic will play a hand in undoing that sort of restriction.
Centaur in Equestria?
Yeah. Second to last line... mind = blown.
Our mysterious lady.. perhaps the personification (ponyfication?) of Equestria's magic itself? Eternal, ever-changing, ever-adapting, learning the warp and weft of this strange new creature that's popped up in her playground. Curiouser and curiouser....
Just one request, Quiet Man. If you're not already employing a proofreader, please do so. I'm enjoying this story immensely, but the typographical and grammatical errors disrupt the flow. Sour notes in the music of the magic, as it were.
"your first child will have her mothers eyes".... dis gun be guud
"your first child will have her mothers eyes".... dis gun be guud
Only a couple of paragraphs in but... Is Lero an American or a Brit? If American he'd be asking for Tylenol rather then Paracetamol...
ETA: Excellent stuff. Echoing the prior commenter about having a prereader being a good idea, or of course we're all happy to do it for you out here in the comments.
I wish I can fav this twice.
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/453/851/06e.gif
and then he woke up happier than a mother fucker!... and he don't know why....
I love scenes like this. It makes me think of 'The Sandman', and that's a series that has influenced my own writing a great deal. Great chapter.
Ugh... So a pantheonic vision and dream sequence that was segued via a conveyance riding on a hangover? How rusty is she?
“Well it is bigger on the inside.”
"Oh great. My mind is a TARDIS now."
Very nice chapter. Keep up the work!
I loved it. This was very good.
Nice dream sequence, I suppose it makes sense for his ephiphany and what he says will make sense. I also like the fact that there's a good thing for him to stay as a human instead of becoming a pony, which I guess was one of the reasons why it was a turn off for me when someone gets ponified when it happens in some stories.
I'll admit, this was a hard chapter to struggle through. Never caught my attention, and never sparked an interest. I understand what was said, mostly, and why, it just... IDK. Felt too 'out there' to enjoy it properly. Oh wells! ONWARD! TO GLORIOUS BATTLE! *Stands ready for the next chapter*
WAITAMINUTE.
If Pinkie can see through other pony worldviews...
ZECORA. WITCHHUNT. EXPLAIN THAT.
Too late dude, she wouldn't have acted that way even in your headcanon if she could see through other worldviews, because she'd be inclined to be empathic. Because for her not to become empathic from what you've described her as, for her to adamantly accuse Zecora of being a witch, would be non-sequitur.
And I know that Pinkie does a lot of those, but she's at least got a fairly consistent characterization.
WELP, BAK 2 DARWNIG BORED 4 U
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Discord.png I'm such an asshole.
...Not really, because you're not gonna even care about this little inconsistency, are you?
And that's perfectly fine.
I feel like she's death from sandman
1765546
It was mentioned somewhere (not sure if it was in the original story, or the side stories) that Twilight had been researching a spell to allow the mares to bear Lero's children. However, at the time of the scene, the best the spell would do is to create a genetic copy of the mother, without any contribution from him.
Now, of course, we all know how determined Twilight gets with her research, so I don't think she'd leave it there...
1766157
This. This SO MUCH
1767273 yeah the first human form she took the "monochrome" mentioned a design under her eye, I immediately thought Death the Endless.
1765389 Jefferson Airplane:White Rabbit?[youtube=WANNqr-vcx0]
1767426
Ah I see, I think I remember the copy thing from the original.
I require more of your fantastic writing, sir. I love the world of the story Xenophilia, and seeing even more done there all the time by yourself and the other talented writers is great. This stuff, though, is delving into some very interesting parts that serve to flesh out even more of the setting in ways that make me very giddy. Do more!
wow Endless and Faust and all that, nice take, bigger on the inside, as it should be with the mind....
Where is Athena and the Golden Bridle?
"Perfect little world" my ass. I recall Xenophilia (the original) spent a decent sized chunk of a chapter discussing how ponies basically have historical parallels of most of the major human wars... some of them even bloodier and with bigger death tolls due to the pegasi's inability to surrender even when they're clearly losing (resulting in massive, unnecessary loss of life).
"You take the rough with the smooth" is a good saying, but people reading or writing within the Xenophilia universe shouldn't forget that the ponies that populate it are no smoother or rougher than humans... and have all the same potential for greatness. It's what makes reading stories in this universe so engrossing to me. The ponies seem so much more... real, while being substantially and subtly different at the same time. Not better... just a step to the side.
Thanks everyone who's commented. Especially about punctuation. I'll be doing a corrections sweep at some point soon to clean these up.
Re: Tylenol vs Paracetamol. This is a very good point and one I'll go correct now.
On the subject of nationality, I find it interesting to note that apart from a description of what Lero looked like once he'd arrived, and the fact he has a sister (older? younger?) and parents who give out odd names, we know next to nothing about Lero pre-Equestria. AnonAuthor et al have gone to great pains to make sure we're left in the dark about so much of his background. He didn't even have a surname until just recently. And a redhead with a mediterranean sounding name? I love it.
Re: Pinkie Vs Zecora. Putting aside that PInkie's either "picking up" or not "picking up" particular ponies for whatever reason. Also putting aside the "misfires". Ever gone to a party, concert or sporting event where your ears are bombarded with a whole multitude of conversations? Ever tried picking out each distinct conversation from the buzz and matching up to each of the individuals there? Ever had much success? No? Welcome to Pinkie's world view.
1768052 Post-Celestia they turned into perfect pretty happyland with all the singing and dancing that apparently entails. She's saved them from themselves, but in the process perhaps she left them vulnerable to threats they would have been immune to before?
Oops, forgot my other post...
1768178
I know he's American, greek father, American mother. If there's anything more beyond that, AA has kept it under wraps.
Hmm, I don't know what to make of this. I dislike divine intervention. A lot. It makes it too easy. 'Just do these two things, and you'll be fine.' Those are Lero's choices to make, and I don't approve of some eternal deity meddling in his thinking and feeling processes. Too convenient.
1764957
Finally! I always thought Rainbow would make a great mom, even if she didn't want children of her own... perhaps her little epiphany earlier changes her mind about it?
This story does bring something I always thought was missing from the original Xenophilia. I loved the original, no doubt about that, but it missed conflict, not necessarily war or anything geared to action/adventure if it's not your thing (or the original author's for that matter) but it did seem that things were a little TOO happy and a little TOO pat.
Lero's canon interactions have all been with ponies already predisposed to deal with him well: most of Ponyville by dint of his associations) or those he meets via his business which admittedly could be a little off putting (what with the alien masseuse and all) but most, if not all of those people, don't really have to relate to him personally for any significant length of time. It's quite another thing to learn that your daughter's coming home married to said alien you've been reading in the news toting a newborn foal to boot. I'm not saying he's going to be lynched, but it's the sort of thing that makes waves.
I think this trip to meet the families that you seem to have in the works as well as this pregnancy that's been foreshadowed will allow for the grit of reality to get into their lives and let us see how they deal with it.
Great job thus far! Waiting for more.
1769584 This is probably more like a demiurge or a personification of a natural process than a deity as we'd understand it.
I'm just surprised she didn't wave an ankh at him. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
Wasn't really engaging. Only part that perked my interest was mention of a child having her mothers eyes.
1765629 That was probably Faust.
Went to see what the new chapter in my faves was. Hmm I already read that one....wait zero word count! I hope this gets fixed soon. Don't believe I commented on it before but I did enjoy this rather surreal chapter.
1774780
All aboard the disappointment train...
1774816
As a very wise pony once said, "Blues and trains go together."