Rainbow Dash and her father, Rainbow Blitz, move to Canterlot, the capital of Equestria, which varies intensely from their small town of Ponyville. But, despite moving into the most busy city in the country, Rainbow Dash preferred to stay in Ponyville than move here, and Blitz doesn't mind much at all. They move into a flat above a store named 'Littlest Pet Shop', and Rainbow discovers a hoof-handled elevator in her room. She finds that she can understand the animals, as well as finding a few familiar faces. The owner of the shop, Bubble Berry, says that the shop is about to close, and the... 'inhabitants'... overhear her and try to tell Rainbow Dash so she can help them save the shop.
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Based on Littlest Pet Shop. Decided as a twist that Rainbow's father is Rainbow Blitz. BTW, the Bubble Berry in this story is NOT the male Pinkie Pie. She is just a blue Pinkie with green eyes, like in Fighting Is Magic. Cover image by me.
This is just a random idea I came up, so it doesn't really make any sense, but I spent a while on the first two chapters for this story.
Awwwww, I am disappoint. When I first saw this I was hope, hope, HOPING that this was a troll fic designed to make uproarious fun of LPS, but alas, it isn't. It's just LPS with ponies. Unfortunately, I find no entertainment from this. Shame really, there was so much potential. Good luck with this, I guess. As for me:
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I will review this latter
This was GLOURIOUS -ly terrible.
Love littlest petshop so much and I love rainbow dash two combined BOOM pure awesomeness
Maybe you can read my story called my day in ponyville
You certainly got the talent for much better, but as it stands the story feels robotic in nature. The concept itself is not a bad one, its
execution however could use some more work.
Oh boy. Here we go again. Another author who appears to have some talent buried beneath massive volumes of inexperience. Also, one who makes cover art apparently in MS Paint, which everybody knows from experience...that shit ain't easy. An author who CARES, people! Maybe the concept isn't something I can ever see myself getting into. Maybe the execution is marred by a number of flaws (most of which can be chalked up to inexperience). Maybe, by all accounts, it's a bad story. But at least the author cares.
Looking at your profile, you've already written another piece that got beat up by the community, but here you are again. I respect that a lot.
To be brutally honest, I only skimmed the first little bit of this because I happen to be rather busy at the moment, but it was enough to convince me you've got the potential of a decent writer within you somewhere. And I guess that means I'm contractually obligated by the fact that I'm a nice person to stop and offer help.
If you want someone to help you out, make your next piece more successful, let me know. We can work something out. I've got a soft spot for people who could be good but don't have the experience, so if you're interested in having someone help you out I volunteer. Let me know if you're intereted.
IT BEGINS!
Okay guys, it isn't finished, and I'm trying my best to improve, but I'm better with Sonic stories than MLP
. If anyone has a MSN, YIM or AIM then we could try and write together. I have a YIM, it's cookiespott. So, if anyone wants to do this with me, you can, just message me about it because I think I need help on this 