Let the randomness begin.
Chapter Two: Let the randomness begin.
As both Alpha and Excite stood there watching the ponies, who in turn watched them back. Excite thought of a great idea. He slowly took out his penetrator before all of the ponies screamed “MONSTERS!” and started running away. As they all turned around and started to run away, Excite caught up with one and smacked it behind its head making it fall limp on the ground. He started to rummage around in its pockets before finding a bag filled with clinky-clinky coins.
“Aha! So you had treasure, ye scallywag.” Excite said acting like a pirate.
All of a sudden he heard something approaching rather fast, almost like a rocket was speeding towards his direction... From behind. Excite quickly jumped to the side rolling a bit before standing up and hearing something whizz by accompanied a loud boom echo in the background.
“God damn it! Why did you move?” Alpha said throwing up one arm in the air
“You think I want to get blown up again?!” Excite said before flipping off Alpha.
“Look what you made me do!” Alpha said as he pointed towards a building which had a gaping hole in it and was on fire. You could see the splinters and stones that were scattered around the house and that there was a huge blood puddle next to the house accompanied by some stray limbs. “Sorry about that!”
Excite looked at the house Alpha was pointing at before laughing.
“Who in their good mind would blow up a pony?” Excite asked.
“They are all peaceful and shit. I mean look at that bastard” Alpha said pointing at a innocent pony who was sitting on a bench sleeping. Luckily this was not Lyra.
“What are you planing, mate?” Excite said looking at Alpha.
Alpha just ignored Excite before pulling out a rocket out of his pants and jabbing it in the Annihilator, he then aimed through the scope and turned off the laser guidance system, he then pulled the trigger which caused the rocket to blast away in joy. A smoke trail was created behind the rocket as it sped through the air in 117 meters per second. Or around 40 miles per hour. After less than a second the rocket impacted with the pony who had absolutely no idea what hit him, causing a bloody explosion, loss of limbs and a broken bench to appear in his stead.
Of course, Alpha just laughed his ass off before running over and and picking up some coins that were on the ground. “Sweet! Loot!”
Excite just shook his head before pulling out his pistol and shooting it up in the air. Soon a dead bird fell down and it looked tasty.
“Up for some grilled bird tonight?” Excite asked looking at Alpha. Before pointing his gun in the direction of the dead bird.
“Well sure, but where the fuck would we get a grill?” Alpha asked before putting his RPG on his back, somehow making it disappear, before pulling out a McMagnus 2013 sniper rifle from his hoodie’s stomach pocket. Again, how you ask? It’s simple. They have very deep pockets.
He scoped in for a bit and saw that most of the street was empty so he put it away again before whipping out his phone. He scrolled through the menus until he found what he was looking for. He pressed the Extras menu before going in to cheats, from there he selected vehicles.
He scrolled down until he found the vehicle he was looking for. A Eagle... Or just plainly a Black hawk, as he pressed the name of the helicopter it said loading. But after a few short seconds a smiley face poped up and said ‘Vehicle spawned.’ Alpha heard a loud thump in front of him before looking up. There he saw a black military transport helicopter just pleading to be driven.
“Alright, Excite you fly, I shoot rockets at stuff, kay?” Alpha asked looking at Excite who just nodded and threw the dead bird under the seat. He then got into the flyer’s seat, which is one of the only vehicle he can drive with out crashing. I mean literally he’s pretty fucking bad when it comes to driving. He either hits everything in a five feet radius or the car blows up when he enters it.
Anyways... Excite jabbed a few buttons before the rotor blades started to spin slowly but safely it picked up speed until it was at the point of flying. As they took of they had no idea where to go, so Excite that dumb-fuck decided it was a good idea to fumble around with his phones GPS instead of flying straight.
“What the hell are you doing over there?!” Alpha yelled out of fear cause he didn’t want to crash again.
“Just checking the GPS.” Excite yelled back.
“Stop that and just fly to that City over there!” Alpha said pointing his rocket launcher at a City that was defying all laws of physics.
“Oka-” Excite said before something hit the rotor blades, few seconds later blood were sprayed all over the cock-pit glass with a few limbs from what appeared to be a blue Pegasus.
“Well... I can’t see anything.” Excite said to Alpha, who just looked in disbelief at the windshield.
“Well shit...” Alpha said before the instrument board started blinking and beeping. “Brace for impact!” A few short seconds later the helicopter started spinning out of control and crashed in a dark and damp forest called the Everfree forest, which just so happends to have a name close related to Evernight forest from Overlord.
Both Excite and Alpha were dazed from the crash and were stumbling out of the wreckage. Or well Alpha was stumbling out, Excite fell through the door, holding a hand to his head. What both of them failed to notice was that several pairs of yellow eyes were looking at them hungrily, and not in the lustful way. More in the way of ‘I want to fucking eat you right now’ instead of ‘Do me, right here and now.’
“God damn it, why can’t you fly straight for at least two minutes?” Alpha asked as he took out a pistol and looked around.
“Cause fuck you, mate. That’s why.” Excite said as a really bad comeback. Alpha just shook his head and helped Excite get back to his feet. At this moment a timber wolf was trying to sneak up Alpha, which was a bad thing to do since Excite had grabbed his pistol that was upgraded to level 4, which have explosive bullets for extra effect. As he stood up properly he aimed at the wolf sneaking up and put a bullet between its eyes causing the whole head to explode in sap and small wood parts here and there. Oh and not to mention the brain matter and such.
Alpha just looked over the shoulder before nodding a thank you to Excite, he then proceeded to walk past Excite who had taken out his dual smgs. Alpha put away his pistol and reached into one of his very deep pockets, he rummaged around in it before finding what he was looking for. His fully auto AS3 Ultimax Shotgun, fully upgraded with a red dot sight, armor piercing pellets and extra clip size.
He looked around saw that the wolves were surrounding him he felt something bump into his back, he contemplated of spinning around and shooting it. But he soon realized that it was just Excite backing up. They stood there for a few minutes close to the Flaming wreckage, the wolves there a were surrounding them, and the wind coming in from nowhere. Out of the blue a wolf charged at Alpha who just took aim with his shotgun, as the wolf jumped at him, he shot several times at the mid air wolf causing to fly backwards and smack into another wolf. Of course these things were like rabid horny dogs who just found a fertile female. They just wouldn’t give up no matter how many would die before they got their prey.
Then, when Alpha and Excite were least expecting it every wolf at once charged them, of course since this isn’t the game.... I can do what ever I want with in the limits of my writing skills, So Alpha grabbed a hilt that was sticking up on his back, there were no visible attached blade, but as he drew it it slowly materialized, he shot two timber wolves before the got close and as one jumped in the mid air he de-caped it with his sword.
There was a series of rapid bangs behind him. Apparently they had the same idea with Excite, charge all at once, but Excite quickly disposed of them with his excellent smg shooting skills... Which are really bad because he did that slow motion sideways jump into tree. And ended up hitting his head and complaining over how that ruin his perfect moment.
They then heard a loud bark... One that sounded like a bear roared, but then again I have no idea how they sound like, use your own damn imagination. They both looked to the source of this bark and saw that there was a huge timber wolf snarling at them, It lowered it self and barred its teeth ready to pounce them. What he had not expected was that, Alpha had ripped out his Annihilator RPG and pointed it straight at his face.
“TASTE OBLIVION! MWHAHAHA!” Alpha yelled as he pulled the trigger less then a nano second later, the rocket impacted with the huge wolf’s head, causing it to spontaneously combust, as the explosion basicly destroyed the body of the timber wolf. Everything remaining was a flaming wreckage of a Helicopter, lots of dead wolves and a blown up super big wolf.
Alpha stepped over dead wolves and walked to a opening, before Excite came jogging after him.
“That is the last time you are flying.” Alpha said as he took out his pistols and put away his RPG.
“Well as long as I don’t want to blow something up.... Anyhow lets move and respawn this fucking helicopter already.” Alpha added before both him started walking out of the forest. Or well sprinting... Unlimited sprint for the win.
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Un-favorited.
2029811 If it must be so then its is your choice if you want to keep it as a favorite or not.
Just curious though what made you un-favorite?
Cool, I would have beaten you too this, but I procrastinated so much that my saints in Equestria fic never got past a thousand words, and it's in need of actual effort. I'll put this on my read later list and see how epic it is.
2029850 Procrastination is a bitch isn't it.
2029855 Yep, especially when you're trying to write a fanfic and are goofing off reading other peoples fanfics, and wishing that you didn't forget about your saints in Equestria fic at the dawn of the new year. I shall now return to writing, so, yeah. Wish me luck and such wellnessness things.
2029862 Do it! I hope you have a safe journey through the lands of writing! The road can be treacherous, do not stray to far from the writing path; Much less you end up on Procrastination's path... I a sure you, you do not walk this path alone! I will help you! (If you ever need some help.)
Now I wish you happy travels! And lots of slaying foul daemons!*
Heh, Dramatic enough for you?
2029869 Meh. But if I'd beaten you to the punch, it would just be a singular saint stuck in equestria with twenty pallets of irradiated saints flow. Also, I shall seek you if I should come across any blocks and you can feel free to do the same. Now, without further ado, I, Dubious, shall now get back to writing my fanfic. Cup of tea in hand, and severe wrist pains, this writers gonna be up for another few hours yet.
stop killing everypony and where is this going anyway?
2030019 This is going to end up in Canterlot, blowing up buildings, Stealing stuff and retreating somewhere.
2029818Because you are making the story feel like the game, with physics breaking cheats and exploding ponies. I just don't want to read more.
2031184 Seeing how there yet to be any plot lines in this yet, Most is random shit me and my partner would do. And since Saints row isn't exactly the most serious game of all time... Namely speaking of, Professor Genki's super ethical reality climax. I mean, do you think that is realistic?
And besides, I put gore in there for a reason. I'm sorry that you did not like this, and I appreciate your feed back.
i now kinda hate hate this story
only and singular complaint so far.... rotor blades
By god I praise you fine ser you killed the wicked bitch of pony vile (rainbow ass) thank you thank you THANK YOU
celestia should be hit in the face with the Penetrator
More, Nooo RD why?