Taylor Swift is a pegasus that can see the future. She has trouble fitting into Ponyville, especially because Rainbow Dash is jealous of her, always plotting against her. But one day Taylor has a premonition that involves Rainbow getting into serious trouble. The rest of the Mane Six have got her back, but will Taylor still manage to save the day?
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I haven't even read this, but let me just say chapters with less than 500 words is gonna be a HUGE turn-off for most people. At least a thousand, preferably much more.
I think our strangely named pegasus mare needs to write a song titled Maybe I Am The Problem
because lady, that's what I'm getting from this
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e9/Taylor_Swift_Speak_Now_Tour_2011_4.jpg/250px-Taylor_Swift_Speak_Now_Tour_2011_4.jpg
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Dunsparce doesn't like Taylor Swift...
fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/204/9/1/legendary_dunsparce_by_drgn_fx.png
Well there's nothing suspicious abiout this whatsoever.
Nothing. At. All.
Also, there are some serious issues with having a psychic character, issues that you clearly didn't think about at all beyond 'omg that would be so cool i'll make her psychic'
1. Free will. If it is possible to determine the ultimate outcome of everything ever, that would point to life being fated or scripted with our own choices not mattering at all. Which would probably lead to mass suicide and hysteria.
2. One could do 'psychic to a degree', wherein the psychic might know the person they're using their sight on well enough to be able to guess what choice that person would make in a given situation and thus predict the outcome with some accuracy. It still wouldn't be 100%. Also, that's not called 'psychic', that's technically just 'pattern recognition'. (My stupid ex does stupid things. I get a call at 3am from the stupid ex. I predict, accurately, just by seeing his name on my phone, that it's because he did something stupid. Like that.)
3. Drop the psychic thing though seriously. She's enough of a Mary Sue character as it is-pretty, smart, has SEVERAL special talents (singing, presumably songwriting, psychic, flying, can do a rainboom despite not being fucking rainbow colored jesus christ are you even trying seriously).
4. Stop making the Mane 6 act OOC. Bad pony.
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1716396
Oh no, nothing suspicious whatsoever. I'm utterly convinced this is a fic that has had loads of thought put into it for the express purpose of getting thumbed down.
It hits on so many points that it could practically be a paint by numbers set.
1716370
I'm starting to consider Dunsparce the best pokémon
SORRY AUTHOR I'M GOING TO KEEP GOING WITH THE PSYCHIC THING because the implications are amazing
Why is being psychic considered something to be desired?
Because, control. If you can see the future, you think you have some control over your life.
But if you're seeing the future, you're just SEEING it. You can't change it. You're staring down the barrel of a gun willingly. If you can predict the future with 100% accuracy, that means no changing. Why is this a talent? Why would this be a DESIRED talent? Why is this such a crutch?
Taylor swift eh i like this... cinda
well back to reading clop fics 
Well, lets review.
To start off,why are all your chapters five to six hundred words each? I'm positive that you could combine certain chapters and make them longer
This, this is one of the worst introductions I have ever seen, the grammar is fine, which is rather refreshing, but the diction, and the basic structure of the intro itself is atrocious. It's kind of like me saying, "I'm just like any other person, except that I have sword arms."
Even something as simple as "Taylor Swift was an unusual pegasus." At least it raises the question of "How is she so unusual?"
This, never ever do this. The beginning of a story is supposed to interest a reader, maybe it doesn't get them fully invested in the story, but it does draw them into a hopefully fantastic story. An intro like this is something you'd see from a five-year old. It's hard to explain, but I find your first sentence oddly... repulsive.
That second sentence makes no sense, is she never wrong or is it her premonitions, for that matter the first half of the second sentence shouldn't even exist. Find some way to combine the first two, or just rewrite the entire introduction.
Get rid of that first sentence, don't compare your characters to other characters unless you've established another character as part of the story. The second sentence needs work too, saying her hair is almost like rarity's is for some reason, very irritating to me. The part about her affinity for music is obvious as you've already stated that she has a red guitar for a cutie mark, furthermore that last sentence just feels...incomplete, it isn't but the way you've worded it makes me feel like there should be something more afterwards.
Do you mean Hearth's Warming?
Get rid of this, it's superfluous information, if Pinkie isn't important then don't mention her.
We don't need to know what kind of apples they are.
Please tell me she doesn't become the next element, because I'm feeling a lot of Mary Sueness from this section.
We all know Applejack is southern, in my opinion writing out her southern accent is a cheap way to try and keep her in character.
Where, pray tell is this Christmas Tree farm? Taylor could have, no , should have said something like "Oh, I'm from Yatta Yatta Town."
When people ask me where I'm from I don't say, "I grew up in a house."
Also Christmas Tree farms don't exist.
Why is she surprised? She lives on a farm too. Is it because our daring hero lives somewhere that doesn't exist?
Other mentionables are that throughout the rest of the story everyone is OOC, Taylor is a Mary Sue, Rainbow Dash wouldn't be jealous of her anyway(She isn't jealous of the two most powerful ponies in Equestria, so it stands to reason that if she isn't jealous of alicorns, then she won't be jealous of your whiny psychic.)
Overall it was a terrible story that has room for improvement, however the cliche' plot, OOC mane six, and terrible dialogue don't give me very much hope for this story, however you don't have too many dislikes so it isn't too late.
Well there you go, my application into the TWE.
1716474
The Cassandra Complex: Knowing the future and knowing there's nothing you can do about it. In the right hands, it could make for a good tragedy. Also makes for a good song about the movie Twelve Monkeys.
You definitely aren't serious.
1716689 Totally. I love the story of Cassandra-I read it as a child and it struck a chord with me even then. Characters with psychic abilities need to have the story treated with the gravity and respect it deserves.
1716468 I believe you mean you're starting to consider Heracross as best Pokemon. Because Heracross IS the best Pokemon
i833.photobucket.com/albums/zz255/GI_Styles/heracross.jpg
1716798 1716370
"Dunsparce used Flamethrower, it's super effective!"
"Heracross fainted"
"Dunsparce have won the match!"
1716822 *Heracross is faster and OP*
*Pinsir is cooler anyways*
*Dunsparce is cuter*
*Dunsparce is better*
But please, let us not argue about it now. Little Dunsparce is asleep.
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1716841
omg hng!
*takes a picture*
soo cute and cuddly!
"Taylor Swift"
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1716822 Psh, implying that something as baby tier as fire could hurt Heracross. You obviously didn't see the episode where Heracross took a flamethrower from Magmar like it was nothing. He's just badass like that.
Yeah, no I a'int gonna read this
>MFW more dislikes than likes
1716798>>1716822>>1716841
Wobbuffet is the best.
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1716942 Maybe so, BUT! I just like Dunsparce better. He was the first Pokemon I ever saw!
1716948
"Wobbuffet!!"
1716942
where THAT heracross took it.
any regular Heracross isn't as tough
1716956 I believe mine was Caterpie just because it was the first Pokemon to show up on screen in the first episode of Pokemon that I watched back in the day. If not, it was probably Pikachu. Until Gen 2 came out, Gengar was my favorite. But, ever since the Gen 2 games came out, Heracross has always been my favorite. I just think he's cool. Plus, a shiny Heracross was the first shiny I got (Not counting the Shiny Gyrados that you can always get),
1716963 Even if they aren't as tough as Ash's Heracross, it's a pretty tough Pokemon, and Megahorn is a pretty great attack. Ash's Heracross just has the added badass factor to it. It took a Darkrai to take the dude down.
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1717080
well ash's pokémons are kinda overpowered compared to the games
1717098 They kind of have to be. The show would be boring if Ash got his ass kicked too much. Although Pikachu has some sort of deformity that makes him revert back to level 1 whenever Ash goes to a new region. A Pikachu that Ash has taken through all 4 of the previous regions defeated by a level 5 Snivy? How does that even make sense
1717135
now Snivy is the best pokémon
I retaliate with Porygon! Love the little pixelated feller... 's not his fault the episode he was in caused seizures, it was Pikachu's strobe effect! And for that he gets almost entirely eliminated from the anime! It's outrageous!
1717223 Magneton and Dunsparce forever. I do like Porygon, especially 2 and Z isn't bad either. Dunsparce likes how we drifted from a Taylor Swift Fan-Fic to Pokemon.
1717156 Meh. It at least beats Chikorita in terms of grass starters. Can't hold a candle to Bulbasaur, Treeko, or Turtwig though.
1717314
1st gen was best
1717313 No one likes, nor do they care about Taylor Swift. Screw her, this here is obviously a Pokemon thread.
1717223 Yes, Dalek, it has always annoyed me as well that none of the Porygon's have appeared in the anime because of the seizure episode. Considering Pikachu was the one to cause the seizures, it doesn't really make much sense. I know they don't want to put Jinx in episodes because some people interpret it to be racist, but there's no reason to ban the Porygons from the show.
1717314 Chill bro Chickorita is one of my faves and Bayleef is number 2 on my list. Why does everyone hate the pokemon I like!?
1717336 For what it's worth, I do like Dunsparce. I was just saying I like Heracross the best
But yeah, Chikorita and her evolutions have always been my least favorite starters throughout the series. Maybe it's because I like Totodile and Cyndaquil so much that her evolutions ended up becoming too forgettable for me. I could say the same about Mudkip.
1717357 Interfesting. People rage at me for loving Dunsparce and hating Garchomp. As a matter of fact, my least favorite pokemon is a tie between Charizard and Shedinja. FLAME SHIELD
1717388 >Charizard and Garchomp
The potential for making people butthurt by saying that pleases me
So, not a fan of dragon types? Or Pokemon that look like Dragons in Charizard's case.
Diglett pwns all!
1717388
Well you're gonna need it, Charizard is a fire Poke'mon.
Thumbed up. What now, author?
>>Nunchucks Thank you SO much for telling me about my flaws in such great detail. I really appreciate that you take time out of your day to just comment on my atrocious story (if atrocious is what you think of it). Thank you. And about the Christmas tree farm and where it is, yeah, I did think it through but I thought if I didn't put something that actually existed in the MLP world, I thought I might get... I dunno :( Also I didn't realize that the Mane Six were OOC D: Thanks for pointing that out to me :>
>>Gherkin8088 You gave it a thumbs up? Thanks for being awesome then ^__^
1716903 I get your message, but I thought it was still a pretty funny comment too though :>
>>tony1685 Thanks for the tip! Yes, I did think about the word count in each story and stuff... I'm sorry D:
>>MidnightDancer Thanks so much for the tips and I'm sorry for making you read a bad story ;___; I'm sorry, I just got the idea from sitting on the toilet seat. From your comment, I have decided I shall never trust that toilet ever again.
1717653 Toilets are generally not to be trusted. They back up and spew the worst shit at the most inopportune times.
I couldn't resist a title like that.
1716623 I have just two complaints about your review.
1. Writing accents is incredibly common. If it's done well, there's no problem
2.img.dooyoo.co.uk/GB_EN/orig/0/0/7/3/9/73927.jpg
Christmas tree farm in Kent
daylesfordchristmastreefarm.com.au/_%20Daylesford%20Christmas%20Tree%20Farm%20Online%20__files/intro.jpg
Daylesford Christmas Tree farm
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/92/Christmas_tree_farm_IA.JPG
Christmas Tree Farm in Iowa
You appear to have fallen victim to Aluminium Christmas Trees syndrome.