• Member Since 25th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen Yesterday

dzamie


Welcome to oneshot hell, I hope you like quick fics. Eris is best pony! Or Chrysalis, if Eris doesn't count.

T

A dragon, a changeling, a pony, and a griffon write their thoughts about the days down in journals. As the events unfold, their points of view become evident, even as their days take a turn for the complicated. A breakfast decision made by one inhabitant can cause so much chaos.

A story of hired hooves, secrets, prejudice, and chickens.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 12 )

As a comment so you guys can reply directly to the Author's Notes.
This story is part experimental for me in three counts: my first ponyfic, a heavy use of first-person Voice, and a third which I hope you will help keep a secret until the last chapter by not commenting about it. It is however important to note that this isn't a challenge; I honestly believe that this could turn out to be a good way to write a story, if done well.
There are also two rather large oddities that you might've noticed. The changeling's vocabulary and word choice changes when writing the diary section of the journal because she's no longer writing a "professional" journal. Also, the farmer-pony's vocabulary might not really seem to match up with his spelling, since he uses "infuriated," "succeed," and "livelihood." He's not a stupid pony; he's just never been taught proper spelling.:applejackunsure:

LOLWUT

That end.... lol... :rainbowlaugh:

This is nice, the separate people are interweaving sufficiently, I wonder what will become of this?
BTW the 1st person is fine. I use it a lot myself. It has its uses, and a journal entry would certainly be one of them. And the journal entries style gives you a chance to talk outside of the typical narrator way, more like an actual person.

I thought there were typos in the end, then I realized that was intentional. Haha, that poor poor pony. :rainbowlaugh:

This is great, keep up the great work :twilightsmile:

Huh. This is an interesting idea. : D

Since this isn't as important, I'll put it in the comments: I really like using semicolons properly; it sort of shows in certain parts of the story.:twilightsmile:

Wait... so her memories are not slowly getting scooters written out of them? :trixieshiftright:

Seriously though-- your somewhat unusual narrative continues to entertain.

HOLY WALL OF TEXT BATMAN!

YOU KNOW, THERE'S THIS BUTTON

ON YOUR KEYBOARD

IT'S CALLED

'ENTER'

YOU SHOULD USE IT WAY MORE OFTEN.

It was seriously a challenge to read this because of it. You need to go back and make paragraphs. NOW.

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