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  • T A Teatime Visit

    A friendly visit over tea launches a series of increasingly ridiculous pranks.
    10,814 words · 7,659 views  ·  981  ·  13
  • T Bitter Harvest

    Golden Harvest isn't jealous. Sure, her neighbor has glamor, adventure, friends and firm, toned flanks, but she isn't jealous. Nope, not jealous at all.
    17,919 words · 3,709 views  ·  639  ·  10
  • T Thirty Days, Thirty Twilights

    A daily-updated collection of short stories featuring the loveliest of lavender librarians.
    26,110 words · 1,014 views  ·  164  ·  2
  • E Party Every Day

    Pinkie Pie wants to rock and roll all night, and party every day.
    22,069 words · 601 views  ·  78  ·  0
  • E An Election in Ponyville

    Miss Mayor faces a challenger she never expected to be running against.
    7,691 words · 1,197 views  ·  98  ·  1
  • T Blinded by Fashion

    Rarity is blind. She tries to fake being able to see.
    14,782 words · 1,136 views  ·  109  ·  2
  • E The Wendersnaven

    Fluttershy recruits Twilight to go into the mountains with her and find a mythical creature. But they might find something more.
    7,978 words · 1,911 views  ·  181  ·  6
  • T An Apple A Day

    A collection of thirthy-minute short stories about the rootinest, tootinest farm-filly this side of the Everfree. There'll be a chapter a day for thirty days. I ain't no fancy arithmeticker, but that adds up to a whole month of good, health
    24,435 words · 776 views  ·  85  ·  2

Blog Posts43

  • 5w, 57m
    It's my birthday. Gimme stuff.

    13 comments · 155 views
  • 14w, 2d
    Writer's Block Party, Round Two, Fight!

    11 comments · 113 views
  • 20w, 4d
    Writer's Block Party, Part One

    Howdy hey, readers, readerettes, and all other shades thereof/undecided! I bet you're all wondering what has become of your favorite author on the site, huh?

    Not sure why you would expect me to know, though; Cold in Gardez is that-a-way.

    Har, har. No, seriously, if Gardez isn't your favorite author here, you need to read more of his stuff until he is. Dude is like a superhero. A writing superhero, who... like, writes really good... Shut up.

    If you haven't already guessed from the blog title, I am feeling much less like a writing superhero myself. Unless that superhero has been exposed to prodigious quantities of kryptonite. I have had a few weeks months to come down off the wave of attention Bitter Harvest garnered, and have found myself in the doldrums ever since. Stories have remained unwritten and left to wither away, forgotten, while I burn through my Netflix queue of all the Scrubs, ever. I don't even like Scrubs all that much.

    So I have decided to start writing these blogs. It is my intention that I will find them so irritating that I will be forced to write a story to completion just so that I have an excuse to declare my writer's block over and can stop blogging about it. Failing that, it will annoy you folks so much that when I eventually succumb to a stroke caused by people who put the toilet paper roll on backwards, nobody will be disappointed that I never got around to writing that one story I promised once.

    In that spirit, I will now wildly and recklessly announce a handful of stories that may someday exist, if you're extra good and wish really hard and say you believe in Santa Claus.

    Color Code:

    Green: What do these colors even mean?

    Blue: I don't even know.

    Purple: I think I just use them to pretend I have a plan.

    -

    And Then Applejack Was a Vampire - You've seen this one in my blogs before. Applejack wakes up one morning with fangs and finds that she is not very good at being a creature of the night. I've been hung up on one stupid little detail for this fic for so long now, and it isn't even really that important. I could have had the first chapter of this up for editing ages ago if I could just make a decision on it one way or the other and move on.

    Expect to see it this Schmebrutember.

    Twilight and Applejack Steal a Train - This has been in the imaginary queue that I don't really adhere to at all for even longer. Twilight still had yet to be bested by an evil door back when I wrote the beginning of this. Still, the pun 'Twijacking' retains its ability to make me giggle, so I have hope for this story yet.

    I'll work on getting a draft ready next Froogsday.

    Z-Clop, Chapter Four - I've gotten a few stanzas into the next chapter of rhyming pony porn. I have an inkling of what will go on in it, and who knows, a burst of inspiration might sweep through and write the rest of the chapter in one or two sittings for me. I wouldn't hold my breath, though. Progress on Z-Clop is erratic, even when I'm on a roll with it.

    I'll definitely have something up by the 31st of February, if you want to mark it in your calendars.

    Applejack of All Trades - Celestia, I like the premise I have for this one so much. If I could just make myself sit down and write it, I think it could be actually decent. The idea is that Applejack is stuck in Manehattan with the ability to copy the special talent of anypony she comes in contact with. Like The Pretender, except with best pony, so way better than The Pretender.

    This story will release just prior to J'rgohhor consuming the sun and casting all life in blackness.

    All in the Book - This is a working title, one that I'm not satisfied with and would like to change before it goes up, if it ever does. You may know it better as Daring Do and the Princess of Magic, if you read my TMP collections. If you don't, the premise is that Twilight has to step into the worlds contained in the books her friends are reading, in order to save them. The thirty minute one-shot was just a scene in Rainbow's book, hence the title, but I would have a chapter for each pony in this expansion of it.

    This story will be written upon the wings of fairies, and carried across the sea by an old, dying bird that wants to see the sun rise one last time over the nesting ground of its youth. I will not spring for mailer's insurance on it.

    Crying Out Loud in a Mug - Another story from the TMP pot. Bon Bon and Lyra are having relationship troubles, and Bon Bon puts in for a dating service. When Princess Luna arrives to sweep her marefriend away, a heartbroken and inebriated Lyra entangles a quite unwilling Rainbow Dash in an ill-advised plan to get Bon Bon back.

    A timely release of this story is unlikely, but at least it is more likely than me declaring to the world that FlashLight is the One True Pairing and is good and right and true.

    Spitballed - Comedic clop. A clopedy, if you will. Spitfire hits on Rarity. When Rarity takes the Wonderbolt captain up on her offer, she gets more - and less - than she bargained for.

    I will wait to post this story until there is peace and understanding between all the peoples of the world, when there is no more fear, nor hunger, nor tears apart from those shed for joy.

    -

    Oh, and I guess as a minor aside, I just graduated. Anyone know of any job openings for a freshly-minted anthropologist?

    13 comments · 152 views
  • 29w, 5d
    A Confession

    21 comments · 255 views
  • ...
 185
 4,564

A pony is called stubborn when they refuse to change their mind no matter the persuasion against them.  A pony is called persistent in hindsight when their refusal turns out to be a wise decision.  "Persistence" is nothing more than what they call stubbornness when it turns out to have been for the best all along.  

Pinkie Pie and Applejack may or may not be persistent, but they are most definitely stubborn.

~This is my entry for the winner of TAW's contest for rare ships.  FimFic needs more ApplePie.

Now EQD Approved!

First Published
22nd Nov 2012
Last Modified
24th Nov 2012

I'll be uploading new chapters to this fairly rapidly.  The whole story will be up before TAW's deadline on the 28th.  I just don't want to overwhelm readers by putting it all up at once.

Heh. I love pony fanfics, and I read tons. You have some really good stuff out there. Plenty of stories I love. However, much more rare (I think anyway) is a sentence I love. This can happen for different reasons. In this instance, its because it just works so very well. This will always be personal opinion, but with what I know of the character in question from the show, it is just perfect. I can completely imagne her saying this, where she to be in this situation. It such a "her" thing to say. At the same time, its sweet as well as sad. I am of course talking about "...so now all I am is a silly pony with a locked door, a broken heart, and a sack full of fish!”

I enjoyed the story enough anyway, but I'd track for that sentence alone.

I really enjoyed this! You captured Pinkie's characterization perfectly and it was a completely believable reaction from Applejack. I can't wait to see more of this soon so enjoy a like, fave, and watch :pinkiehappy:

>>1663193  Thanks!  There's a reason I named the chapter after that line.

>>1663321  You know, I was worried that I messed up on Pinkie's characterization here.  I'm glad you disagree.

I need to time my posting better.  This ended up in the middle of a huge slew of new fics, and therefore was posted and then slipped off the front page in the course of an early holiday morning.  :pinkiesad2:

Feel free to overwhelm!! Good solid beginning so far. Happily awaiting the next part. :twilightsmile:

#7 · 100w, 2d ago · · · Lips Happen ·

oh pinkie pie, my heart follows you, :pinkiesad2: :heart: i wish her the best

#8 · 100w, 2d ago · · · Lips Happen ·

:moustache:  Yes, the ever-so-rare Pinkie/Applejack.

This is freaking amazing!  You really captured a wide range of emotions for both characters.  Nice use of small things from canon episodes.

Finally, it's good to see a writer finally use Pinkie's history as a farmer herself in her interactions with A.J. :ajsmug:

*track*

#9 · 100w, 2d ago · · · Lips Happen ·

Oh boy, Pinkie's kinda defeating herself ain't she?

#10 · 100w, 2d ago · · · Lips Happen ·

>>1666212  Since she only ever mentioned her home in one episode, it's easy for writers to forget Pinkie didn't always live at Sugarcube Corner with the Cakes.  But even if it's a silly thing like a rock farm, growing up on a farm leaves an impression.  Applejack is portrayed as the archetypal farm pony, but she's far from the only pony in Ponyville raised on a farm.

Every reader I can get cheering for Apple Pie is a victory for me.  The pairing captured my heart ever since I stumbled across someone on DeviantArt whose gallery was filled with nothing but Apple Pie pics (I wish I could remember how I found them so I could link!).  The more folks on this site that have a soft spot like me for the ship, the more likely it'll be that more fanfic shipping them will be written.  That said, I can understand why this isn't one of the biggest ships in the fandom.  This was hard to write in places, since AJ and Pinkie don't directly interact with each other quite as much as with others in the show.  Without as much canon material to build on, it gets a lot harder to keep them both in character in prolonged contact like this.  I hope I'm doing okay with it.

#11 · 100w, 1d ago · · · Lips Happen ·

Please continue! This is a pairing I've wanted to see done for so long. It makes a certain sort of sense and I don't know why this ship has long been ignored. I am in love with your characterization because everything is happening in a manner that feels like a natural progression for the events that have transpired. I am full of praise and you deserve it! Keep it coming, I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter.

#12 · 100w, 1d ago · · · Lips Happen ·

>>1666890 I hope you do find the link. I would like to see those pics.

Don't worry, so far you're doing a great job. :ajsmug:

:pinkiesmile: They may not interact as much on the show, but there are still some things writers could find to work with.  

For examples, along with Fluttershy, Applejack is the most understanding of Pinkie and her antics (Feeling Pinkie Keen).  The only time A.J was affected by Pinkie was when the latter wanted her to be (The Last Roundup).  Unlike Fluttershy, A.J can control Pinkie more, being like an older sister to the group.

With Pinkie, she's the only one that can understand A.J's demanding farm life.  Out of the mane 6, she would be the one who won't let A.J get away with do things all alone, she'll ignore A.J's social cues and help her regardless if she sees her in need.  

From pure canon: We know that A.J has broken through Pinkie's shields of ignorance and really move Pinkie's emotions to the extreme before.  Even with her speed and cartoon-ish nature, it wasn't enough to catch up with A.J without the other's help (T.L.R).  Despite being upset with her, Pinkie forgave and even did her part to help A.J get away.  

Another interesting thing, in MMMystery on the Friendship Express, Pinkie never accused A.J and A.J never took a bite of her cake.

#13 · 100w, 1d ago · · · A Zap Apple Jam ·

Yes, sad cliffhanger is sad.  But honestly?  Apple Bloom stole this chapter from me.  When writing this, I was sorely tempted to go, "Okay, forget Pinkie and Applejack, this is now a story about a little filly who wants to help her family."  Why must you be so darned adorable, Apple Bloom?  Why?  :applecry:

#14 · 100w, 1d ago · · · A Zap Apple Jam ·

Damn. That chapter made the feels of my feels sad. I hope AJ and Pinkie work this out.

#15 · 100w, 1d ago · · · A Zap Apple Jam ·

Dag, yo. :rainbowderp:

#16 · 100w, 1d ago · · · A Zap Apple Jam ·

Good story... I can hear Pinkie sobbing...

Maybe this will cheer you guys up

#17 · 100w, 1d ago · · · A Zap Apple Jam ·

Seriously? Hnnnnggg:ajbemused:, right in the feels! I must have more of this, keep the updates coming!:ajsmug:

#18 · 100w, 1d ago · · · A Zap Apple Jam ·

That hurt. :fluttercry:

#19 · 100w, 1d ago · · · A Zap Apple Jam ·

Once again I find myself saying what wonderful work you are doing! Wow, that got some real feels out of me and that is such an accomplishment as a writer so feel great about the quality of work you are putting out! Excellent indeed! I can't wait to see how this unfolds.

#20 · 100w, 1d ago · · · A Zap Apple Jam ·

Lol so either Rainbow Dash was the one crush Pinkie dated or just happens to know about it.

#21 · 100w, 23h ago · 1 · · A Zap Apple Jam ·

>>1672087 I couldn't resist the chance to make a playful jab at all the Pinkie Dash fans.  :pinkiehappy:

Tomorrow's update is the final chapter.  I'm really hoping it'll provide a satisfying resolution without cheapening the feels in the lead-up.  Thank you to everyone that's been reading, rating, and commenting!  If you spot anything that could be done better, please let me know; I still have a couple days left before the deadline for the contest, and if I can work out any bugs in that time it'll be a blessing!

#22 · 100w, 12h ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

That's the last of it!  A big thank you to everyone that's stuck around for this.  I hope you enjoyed yourselves while reading, but if you found something you were less than satisfied with, please please please tell me about it!  A writer can't improve if no one tells them what they did wrong.

This was a lot of fun to write (with the exception of a few rough spots before I was really sure where I wanted to take it), and I can't wait to see how it does in TAW's contest.  :twilightsmile:

#23 · 100w, 10h ago · 2 · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

That's possibly one of the best endings I've read in a long while. Nicely done.

#24 · 100w, 6h ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

Other than the sudden decision change on Applejack's part, this ending was perfect. So perfect, that I can mostly ignore the sudden decision and somewhat abrupt ending, If these mistakes could have been avoided and still given the same great ending, then I would actually be slightly annoyed about it. If you don't come in at least 2nd place in TAW's contest I'll chew on my right foot. :duck:

#25 · 100w, 5h ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

>>1677246  Please don't injure your foot on my account!  I'm certain there are other writers submitting to the contest that actually know how to properly foreshadow something like Applejack's change of heart so it isn't so out of the blue.  I'd hate to have someone hobbled because I can't leave breadcrumbs!

#26 · 100w, 5h ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

>>1677357

Oh don't worry, I wouldn't gnaw it off. I'd just nibble on it for a few moments, just to acquire the taste. :ajsmug:

#27 · 99w, 6d ago · · · Lips Happen ·

ApplePie is so rare, this is the first time I've read one. Rarer than twishy or raripie.

#28 · 99w, 6d ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

>>1680353  It's true, and it's such a shame.  You'd think that just the deliciousness of the portmanteau alone would win it more of a following.  I've found a few other ApplePies (one of them is under the Criminally Underrated Stories section on my userpage), but only by digging through old story-lists in various shipping groups.  The best ApplePie I've ever read is in Donny's Boy's vignette compilation Friends and Lovers.  But then, Donny's Boy could ship a three-legged pony with a stick of bubblegum and make it not only work but feel like they were always meant to be together.

#29 · 99w, 6d ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

Good end! :twilightsmile: And a most believable, in character one at that. Hooray for stubbornly refusing to take no for an answer.

:rainbowhuh:

Okay, maybe not the best lesson, but you know what I mean.

#30 · 99w, 6d ago · 2 · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

It is not a beautiful story but it is believable story and that is more than half the battle when it comes to shipping, making it believable.

This is actually the first Apple-Pie story i have found that is complete, so i have nothing i can fairly compare it too.

That being said it is good, it is a hard ship, and you do deserve some respect for making it believable.

After your gravely driven home 3rd chapter i sat for a moment to think how could this possibly turn back to a positive ending, i concluded that it could only be done by using Pinkie's Promise against her.

Yes the sudden change was a flaw, but you did point out in story that AJ did not have time to consider her feelings about Pinkie Until After the fight, had you placed a chapter in between that and the final chapter about AJ finally going over her feelings and fighting herself over her actions during that time skipped week that filled the gap, that would have not been an issue even with no early on indications of reciprocated feelings. Keeping a reader wondering is something i appreciate in a story, not all the time mind you, but with stories that aren't very short the emotional buildup and tension makes a story engrossing if done with the right timing.

So not only do i FINALLY find an Apple-Pie story that is complete, it is good to top that, and over the top of that you also point out a few more. For that alone you have my gratitude. :twilightblush:

So Thank You for the story and the other Apple-Pie Stories i will now get to read.

If you want me to explain my statements in any further detail just ask and i will once i return from college tomorrow.

#31 · 99w, 6d ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

>>1685902  Thank you for reading, and thank you for taking the time to write out some feedback!  While it's always fun to get comments praising the story, it's immensely rewarding to get one that says "here's what could've been better."  I am happy to know that I have made your first complete ApplePie experience not entirely unpleasant.

Thinking on it, I really do agree with you that a scene of Applejack finally getting a chance to mull over her feelings in the aftermath of the fight would help ease the suddenness of her change in heart.  I may try and write such a scene and edit it in, though I'm not sure I can fit it in before time is up for the contest.  I hadn't really consciously considered it, but you have a good point that Applejack hadn't had a single spare moment to think all the way up to that point.

If you could, could you elaborate on what you meant by "not a beautiful story?"  I'm not offended at all, just curious.  Is the imagery a bit bland?  Do I lean too heavily on a few set words or phrases?  I'm always eager to learn from my mistakes.

I am pleased that I could help you find more Apple Pie, as well, though in fair warning Out of the Blue is on indefinite hiatus and the ApplePie entries in Friends and Lovers are very short.  Sometimes it can be a lonely thing, being an ApplePie fan.  :pinkiesad2::ajsleepy:

#32 · 99w, 5d ago · 1 · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

>>1686259

Ok now when i call a story beautiful, i speak in terms of presentation. A beautiful story for me is one that flows effortlessly weaving in new information on top of established facts, choices, and indecisions. Really it is what that style does for me that makes it beautiful and not necessarily the facts or interchange, a beautiful story elicits emotional response almost constantly. It is like flowing with water as it rises and drops carrying you with it without requiring effort from the passenger. This is not to say beautiful must be flawless, a joke here or there is great fun and breaks from the flow can help as well, it is a matter of tension and drawing a reader into the world you make, and getting the reader to willingly let go of their uncaring attitude for a while and to immerse themselves in the story and feel the emotions you write of.

From the start of your story we had the confrontation, Pinkie confessing to AJ. No tension was built so it was a fact, and i as a reader had no emotional tie in other than "well that was sudden". You then progressed into tension and emotional build-up which was good because now i can become invested in the story. You seemed to find your pace in the next chapter and sometimes a rocky start leads to wonderful reading as i have had the pleasure of finding out on several occasions. But yes the flow was interrupted by Aj's sudden change of heart and then progressed into climax in the final chapter with a small amount of buildup (AJ's self realization and desperation) which ended the story well but not beautifully the flow had been interrupted. Despite this you have legitimate in-character emotional exchange which makes the story believable. A beautiful story for me can lack legitimacy and that makes even a beautiful work that ends happily sad for me because i can see that flaw somewhere in the story that makes it unbelievable and therefore i stop fully investing myself in the story and that greatly reduces the amount of emotion that can be elicited by a well done plot or turn of events.

Your imagery is not bland i could visualize the scenes so it was at the least good. (Personally i think it was quite good a 6 on 1-10 for my personal scale with the 7-9 being exponentially greater amounts and 10 is reserved for the absolute best i have read)  You leaned slightly on stubborn in the final part however it would have been Lovely if you had changed the Stubborn aspect in the final bit into Devotion or something else slightly more emotional than stubborn. Such an up note at the end finalizes the sweetness in the ending (But that is simply my opinion).

And it is always nice to meet someone who can take constructive criticism.:twilightsmile:

#33 · 99w, 3d ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

>>1688700 Thank you for elaborating!  So, it's something of a flow/pacing issue, then.  In an earlier draft, I had Pinkie's flashback that she tells to Fluttershy (in which she wanders around Ponyville and everypony appears to be pairing up) at the very beginning as a regular scene instead of where it is, being told to Fluttershy.  I moved it because it wasn't a very strong hook to start the story with, and also because the scene with Fluttershy felt like it needed to be broken up by something.  Do you think it would have helped the emotional build-up for Pinkie's confession in the beginning if that scene were how the story started?

The repetition of the word "stubborn" at the end was of course intentional.  Stubbornness is a theme I wanted to play around with when writing this story.  I wanted to show how it can be both a virtue and a flaw, sometimes helping ponies and sometimes hurting them.  I'm not sure if any of that really came across, but at the very least I wanted to plug the title one last time in the end.

I've extended the scene as Applejack wakes up from her dream at the beginning of chapter 4.  Hopefully that extra bit of monologue will help smooth out the emotional flow there.  

Thank you for your analysis, your constructive criticisms, and your advice!  Here, take these mustaches, I have too many stockpiled up from the last couple chapters of A Teatime Visit.  :moustache::moustache::moustache:

#34 · 99w, 2d ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

>>1706081

Quite possibly, a short preface or something explaining how Pinkie realized her feelings would help get readers into the basic swing of a shipping fic. Dosent need to be a whole chapter or anything, a quick flashback of Pinkie Thinking about when she realized her feelings as she heads out to tell AJ would greatly alleviate the abruptness of the confession and set the tension for the next few scenes.

Ok so you were pointing out your theme, perfectly acceptable like i said it was a only a slight lean at the end.

An extension ehh, well i am going to have to reread the whole thing now. :pinkiehappy: Ohh darn... :twilightblush:

And i am glad i could help out, always glad to help when i can. :twilightsmile: Thanks for the 'staches first time i have actually gotten that particular reward. :twilightsheepish:

#35 · 99w, 2d ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

I thought pinkie had a dream and all this time applejack and pinkie were going out. It was a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream. I really liked the ending too, you didn't stop after their first date.

#36 · 99w, 1d ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

Heh, I found this description of the story accompanying a link here:

:pinkiesmile:  "Applejack, I love you."

:ajsleepy: "I don't feel the same way, Pinkie."

:pinkiehappy:  "...Challenge accepted."

It made me laugh.

#37 · 98w, 6d ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

aww that ending just :heart:

#38 · 98w, 3d ago · · · A Zap Apple Jam ·

This story is really excellent--this chapter especially so!

You've really got a great drama goin on between the two of them, and I'm loving the way nether of them is obviously in the right or the wrong, and you can totally empathise with both of them so well!

The pacing is excellent, and it's a great read. Also, the dialogue is bang on! Very sharp!

Also... that's probably the best drunk Pinkie I can remember reading...

I'm scratchin my head as to things you could do better... but I'm havin trouble thinking of anything while being so pleasantly thrilled at how awesome it is...

Stoked for the last chapter! (sad that's all there is... :raritydespair: )

#39 · 98w, 3d ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

That was stellar! Seriously, blew me away with the ending!

Honestly, I was expecting a bit of a cop out ending when AJ was all like, 'okay, yeah, I love her...' (Though having the dream turn out to actually be AJ's was spectacular!). But then, yeah. That scene in the dentist's? That was fantastic. That's how you do a memorable scene, all right!

Such good stuff, and a really a surprisingly realistic ending from what my expectations were, or something!

Really loved this story. You should be super proud of it, it's an absolute gem! :pinkiehappy:

I'm a big fan of yours now!

#40 · 98w, 2d ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

>>1746845  You know, I think I really like you as a reader, because you have just pointed out every one of the things I'm proudest of in the story.  Seriously, you have no idea how much I'm grinning like an idiot here, my ego swelling like a balloon while I go, Y'know, they're right.  Having the romantic climax take place at the dentist's was a good idea!  And I do write a darn fine drunk Pinkie!

May I be a big fan of yours back?  Please?

#41 · 97w, 6d ago · 3 · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

So I just got done with this fic and I was going to add a comment about pacing and how some parts seemed to move by a little too quickly but it seems like silveredchaos beat me to pointing out any flaws this story has.

Which is great, because now I can just talk about how much I love it. First, a couple quotes:

when Pinkie Pie got home to Sugarcube Corner, she laughed.  The Cakes thought it sounded like crying, but what did they know?  They weren't the Element of Laughter.  Pinkie shut herself in her room so she could laugh by herself.  She laughed hard.  She laughed until her voice cracked and her eyes were red and puffy.  She hugged Gummy tightly and laughed loudly into her pillow.  Pinkie laughed herself to sleep that night.

This passage hit me right in the feels. It's such a perfect way to describe the way Pinkie deals with sadness, even if it's unhealthy and destructive. That she tries to giggle at the ghostie so hard she has to lie to herself is heart-wrenching, and you wrote it better than I could have.

Also,

Honesty was not a nice virtue.  Honesty tore down dreams and stomped on hearts.  It was the rising tide that toppled sand castles little foals had spent all day building.  Not for the first time, Applejack wished she were able to pretend the truth was something other than it was.

This is what I've been saying about Applejack, that she has the most difficult element to deal with. She can't tell a lie even if she wants to, and that in and of itself can be destructive to her relationships.

So yeah. There were some rocky bits; some flaws. Pacing was a bit odd in some places, but it's hard not to forgive that when you do such a great job of characterizing each player in the story, and giving insight into their romantically-unlucky minds.

But more than anything, this fic made me really angry.

I mean, come on. This is a finished shiny fic that's very well done, and it's been out for nearly a month. 55 favs and 1100 views, are you kidding me?

When my shitty incomplete fic (IN THE ROMANCE TAG JUST LIKE THIS ONE) can accumulate ten times that? Fimfiction, I am disappoint. It makes me legitimately angry that fics like this one don't get response like that. I'm sharing this fic on my podcast, on The Daily Oat, on my blog, and to all my friends because jesus h. tapdancing christ if people can put up with mine, then they'd better be ready and willing to give this one a shot.

Nice Job, somepony else Esle Ynopemos.

I cried. Three times.

#42 · 97w, 6d ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

Cyrilmusic brought me here. I added to my "to-read-list" but it wins inmediate awesome points for being an ApplePie ship fic. There´s almost zero of this ship and its one of my favourites. Now, to read!

#43 · 97w, 6d ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

>>1771971  Thank you for reading, and for your comment.  I am pleased to see that I wrote at least two quotable things, and even after a month of nobody calling me out and saying "Hey, that's not how Pinkie acts!" it's still a relief and a surprise to me when I get compliments on my characterization in this.  Pinkie Pie is very difficult to write in character for, and considering she isn't really my favorite pony from the get go, it blows my horseshoes off to find that people not only found my characterization of her tolerable, but they actually feel I did a good job on her.

The "Honesty is not a nice virtue" quote was actually the first line I wrote when I was coming up with this, before I had decided it was going to involve Pinkie, or even be a romance at all.  I had an idea to come up with a situation in which Applejack didn't want to tell the truth, but knew she had to.  The rest sorta built around that.

I would like to blame the pacing issues on the fact that I was writing this under a deadline, but the truth is that I consistently have problems with my pacing.  I frequently seem to be blind to which points in the plot are safe to gloss over and which need to be elaborated and expanded upon.  A few good prereaders would probably be very beneficial in regards to this, but that would require me to take the effort to go out there and meet new people, and that's haa--ard!

Part of the low view-count for this fic has to do with a miserably-timed launch (Or at least that's what I tell myself at night).  It quietly shuffled in and out of the queue in the early morning hours of Thanksgiving, ensuring that there would be practically nobody online to see it while it was still on the front page.  In my experience, if a fic doesn't manage to make the Featured Box before it slips off the front page, it's going to have a hard time ever breaking 100 likes.  It's not really a matter of readers' tastes, just site mechanics.  There's this box at the top that readers know has stories that aren't full of spelling/grammar mistakes or squick, so they're naturally going to give those a chance before they risk giving something on the front page with only 30 views a chance.  Yes, it can be unfair, and you're welcome to be upset about it if you want, but until I can think of a better system, my policy is to shrug it off and keep writing.

Thank you for your kind words, and your efforts to give my fic more publicity.  I appreciate it, and I'm glad I could give you at least three feels.

Hey, what's this?

>somepony else

:trixieshiftleft:They're on to me...:trixieshiftright:

#44 · 97w, 6d ago · · · A Zap Apple Jam ·

Shoot, I think the new website ate Chapter 3...  I'll have it back up when I know how to fix it.

EDIT:  Okay, I think I have it back up now.  I guess I should have known better than to try messing with things in the first few hours after a major overhaul like that.  Let me know if you run into any more bugs in the story.

#45 · 97w, 4d ago · · · Lips Happen ·

Gonna save most comments till I finish. Just wanted to say that using fan-slang is always kinda a  jarring moment. Specifically "plot". It really killed the momentum. You built it back up shortly enough, but it was a bit like the literary equivalent of stubbing my toe.

Nothing's wrong with rear, rump, dock, tail, thighs, or other terms like that.

#46 · 97w, 4d ago · 1 · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

Well, I just have to say that I'm glad I pulled this one to read first. ApplePie is a very hard ship to conceptualize, at least for me. I've tried a few times and can never really get it to work for me. I like this quite a bit. You did do a good job on Pinkie. She's both extremely easy and extremely hard to pull off. You nailed the "random" that isn't really random aspect without over-explaining it. I've seen both directions fail before.

>>1773058

I do hate to tell you, Applejack x Not-Rainbow Dash or Rarity just doesn't get many views. A lot of people don't want something new. Your timing does suck too. I really dislike how hard it is for good stuff to be found. If this had not been entered into TAWs contest, I doubt I would have found it.

FWIW, the only real "pacing" issues I had was around AJ's revelation. Some more thoughts there would help. I'd do something along the lines of "I don't love her. I just like it when..." passages. And then your conclusion. It's not "bad" by any stretch of the imagination. It's just not "perfect". But I know how that feeling goes so much.

>>1771971

That first passage hurt. Oh man, did it. And not in that faux sadfic way. I genuinely empathized there. It's not just the visuals, in fact that's a bit standard. It's the personality and the Pinkie twist added to it that make it hurt.

#47 · 97w, 4d ago · · · Smile, Smile, Smile! ·

>>1781026  Kits doesn't think my story sucks.  Day = made.

You make a good point about the less common pairings.  Apple Pie directly contradicts some of the most popular pairings in the fandom.  If it could somehow go against Flutterdash and Twidash as well, it could make ninety percent of the site scream, "Noo, my OTP!!"  Personally, I don't understand the attitude of not wanting to read a story if it goes against your favorite pairing, but then, I live by the words at the top of the Shipping group page:  Every ship is best ship.  (Just had a look, and it doesn't say that anymore. :fluttershysad: So I guess I live by the words that used to be at the top of the Shipping group page.)

I dunno.  Maybe I'll give in and write something for that AppleDash contest, see how I can do with a more common pairing.  On the other hoof, I kinda like having one of the twelve best-written fics in the [Applejack x Pinkie] folder of the shipping group.

JAG

I agree that your Pinkie characterization is pretty solid. Her dialogue is believable, and I especially like that she's intelligent. A lot of authors over-emphasize how random or naive she can be, and she comes across as stupid. Which is not the case at all, obviously. Making her aware that her 'relationship' with Appleack was all in her head was a very good move, and saved this from being just another 'Pinkie gets rejected and is depressed' fic. She knew going in that her first attempt would fail, and is prepared to press on anyway out of optimism. That's definitely Pinkie.

JAG
#49 · 97w, 3d ago · · · Lips Happen ·

Another good chapter. You're still doing a very solid job with the characterization, especially considering how little interaction these two get in the show. As you said, that's probably why this isn't a popular ship: there's just not much canon material to work with. I personally also doubt that AJ could put up with Pinkie's weirdness on a constant basis. But this story is a pretty good argument in the ship's favor, so far. I had forgotten Pinkie's foalhood on the rock farm, so maybe they'd get each other more than I'd thought.

And Applejack 'dating' Fancy Pants as a kid... that's awesome. I'm still chuckling at that. Rarity would flat-out die if she ever found out.

#50 · 97w, 3d ago · · · Lips Happen ·

>>1788716  If I ever get the time, I think I'd like to write a short side-story about young AJ and Fancois.

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