Spike earned his reputation pretty fast amongst the wastelands of Equestria. He was no longer gentle Spikey Wikey to any outlaw who would dare cross his path. Most knew him now by the name Six Shooter Spike; even though he was known to use other weapons when needed. Spike walked into Appleoosa, dragging along some newly acquired bounties. A gang of five outlaw earth ponies wanted for holding up a train and butchering a family. It was a bit of a trial, but Spike managed to take them out, with two of them being killed in the process. The remaining three complained about having to be stuck so close with the two corpses of their former teammates. Spike could care less about their comfort.
“These stiffs are startin to smell like shit,” said a gangly yellow colt with a white mane. “Ya couldn’t have wrapped them in a bag or somethin?”
“You got no right to complain,” said Spike. “Ya’ll have killed plenty of ponies. Not so glamorous when your up close and personal, eh? I wouldn’t have had to kill them if they’d just cooperated and not tried to gut me when I wasn’t lookin.”
“You sayin ya never attacked someone when they wasn’t lookin,” said the same yellow colt.
“Not sayin I haven’t,” said Spike. “Just sayin they coulda been a bit smarter. It’s a harsh world out there. I aint in the business to showin mercy. And at least I don’t go around murdering innocents.”
“Self righteous words from a fuckin bounty hunter,” snapped the yellow colt again.
“I saw what you and your gang did to that family,” said Spike, giving the colt a hard stare. “You had no reason to do what you did to them. I give my targets a chance, I don’t just shoot them without warning. Now you best shut your fuckin mouth, or I’ll do it for you.”
The colt said nothing after that. Spike took them to the sheriff’s office to collect his bounty from Braeburn.
“Good tah see ya again, Spike,” said Braeburn. “Who do ya got for me today?”
“The Sidewinder Gang,” said Spike. “Held up a couple trains, and butchered a whole family they took hostage. I only had to kill two of em. They didn’t leave me much choice.”
“Long as you kept the cutie marks in tact, don’t matter to me,” said Braeburn.
“I wasn’t born yesterday,” said Spike. “I never aim for the flank. You’d have to a damn fool to do that.”
“You’d be surprised,” said Braeburn. “Some folks think as long as the face is in tact, then it should be good enough. But there are tons of ponies out there bearin a strikin resemblance to one another. Hardly any sharrin the same cutie mark.”
“True enough,” said Spike. “Hear anything from Applejack?”
“Not fer about two weeks now,” said Braeburn. “Now lets take care of your bounty. They were all goin for what, five hundred bits each?”
“According to their wanted posters,” said Spike, handing their posters over to Braeburn.
Braeburn looked at each poster and inspected all their cutie marks. Sure Spike had never been wrong with is bounties, but protocol was protocol. He didn’t make exceptions, not even with Applejack and her siblings.
“Everythin seems good,” said Braeburn. “Ah’ll get yer fifteen hundred bits.”
“Thank you kindly, Braeburn,” said Spike.
Braeburn locked up the still living gang members and placed the two bodies in a cold storage for later burial.
“Here’s a list of some bounties fer ya,” said Braeburn.
Spike glanced over them, noticing his name at the very top, with Applejack and her siblings in a close second.
“One hundred thousand bits,” commented Spike. “Would’ve figured I’d be worth more.”
“Few more scores and ah’m sure that’ll go up,” said Braeburn.
“So how come you never got into the bounty hunting business?” asked Spike.
“Ah got no place in that world,” said Braeburn. “Ah just want to keep Appleoosa here safe. So whatcha gonna do now that yer bounty’s been taken care of?”
“I think I could use a stiff drink,” said Spike.
“Appleoosa’s got the best drinks in all Equestria,” said Braeburn.
“Oh I’m aware, believe me,” said Spike. “See you later, Braeburn.”
Spike walked out of the sheriff’s office and took a stroll down town till he came across Appleoosa’s saloon, The Rusty Shoe. He could hear some piano music playing, but soon as he walked in, the music stopped.
“You all know how to make a dragon feel welcomed,” said Spike, with a smart aleck tone.
Spike walked casually to the bar and sat down.
“I’ll just have a glass of your normal stuff,” said Spike.
“Comin right up,” said the bartender.
The bartender handed Spike a tall glass of beer and left him to his business. Suddenly a pegasus came up to sit down next to Spike. He leaned over to say something to him.
“Say, I know you,” said the strange pegasus with a sly grin. “Your that feller they call Six Shooter Spike.”
“Oh gee, however did you guess?” asked Spike sarcastically.
“Aint too hard,” said the pegasus. “Aint many dragons walkin bout wearin a duster and cowcolt hat.”
“It’s called an akubra,” said Spike.
“Begin your pardon,” said the stranger.
“What can I do for ya?” asked Spike, patience clearly growing thin.
“Spose I should also introduce myself,” he said. “Name’s Sly.”
“Lemme guess, Sly,” began Spike. “You want to collect the hundred thousand bit bounty on my head right?”
“Nah,” said Sly. “That’s small potatoes. I’m more interested in the bounty on a certain purple unicorn.”
Now this got more of Spike’s attention.
“Strange, I wasn’t aware there was a bounty for her,” said Spike.
“Well, there aint no official bounty,” said Sly. “But I figure the pony responsible for turning everythin to shit, would be worth a pretty penny.”
“So why you telling me this,” asked Spike, clearly getting angry.
“Cuz you’re her number one assistant,” said Sly. “Bet you even know where she’s located.”
“Even if I did,” began Spike. “What makes you think I’d tell some piece of shit like you?”
“I was just thinkin we could split the profits on whatever she’s worth,” said Sly, ignoring Spike’s insult.
“You’re wasting your time,” said Spike. “Best be on your way now.”
“Oh come on,” said Sly. “Lord knows you’re havin hard times just from havin to keep her safe. All I want to know is where she is.”
“One last chance, buddy,” said Spike.
“I’m not scared of your supposed reputation,” said Sly, holding up a gun. “Now just tell me where she is.”
Spike managed to kick the stool out from under Sly, causing him to hit his jaw on the bar. Spike then grabbed him by the neck and slammed his head on the bar, pulling out his six shooter and jamming it against his head.
“I gave you a chance to walk away,” said Spike. “I hope you believe me now and my supposed reputation.”
The pegasus said nothing, frozen in fear.
“You ever been this close to a gun,” asked Spike. “Scary aint it? Especially if the gun has a hair trigger. This one is tight, but at this close a range, half of your face will be blown away and splatter over all this bar.”
Sly still said nothing, sweating profusely. Spike finally pulled the trigger; but the only sound was a click. Spike leaned up close to Sly’s face.
“Next time, the gun won’t be empty,” said Spike. “If you ever speak to me again, and I mean even just one syllable, I will blow your brains out. I’ll go farther even and burn your body to a crisp so that nopony can collect whatever bounty your worth. As for the rest of you, spread the word that I will never give up the location of Twilight Sparkle. And if anypony should try, they won’t get a warning like this son of a bitch here! I hope I’ve made myself clear.”
Before letting him go, Spike glanced through his notes to see if Sly was on there.
“A mere three hundred bits,” said Spike with a chuckle. “Not exactly something you can retire on. But a bounty is a bounty. Let’s pay a visit to the sheriff.”
Spike, still carrying Sly by his neck, paid for his drink and walked out of the saloon.
1653786 Thanks. I never felt the need to use an excruciating amount of details. Plus I imagine this will span a lot of chapters, so I might as well keep them short when need be.
oh hell yah jumped all the way up to 100,000 bit bounty...niiiice....in all honesty this fic has a lot of potential with the concept and vast possibilities so can't wait to see how it turns out
1654364 Thinking of escapades for Spike and names for the various bounties is gonna be hard. But I'm up for the challenge.
1654892 His nickname Mal is a reference to the classic Sci-Fi western Firefly. Malady, according to a friend, means something bad or misfortune or something.
1654936A malady is an affliction or bad omen, that sort of thing. So his nickname is a reference to Firefly and his name is a reference to one of the greatest gunsmiths ever? You win. Whatever you want, you win it.
1655052 Nice! And his gruff demeanor is meant to be a bit reminiscent of Clint Eastwood.
1655074Now that you mention it, he does remind me of Mr. Eastwood's demeanor in many(if not all) of his movies. He seems most like a more talkative version of The Man With No Name.
1655229 Clint is one of the Gods of Badassery! Along with Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Lee, Bruce Willis, Jason Statham, Nicholas Cage and many many others that would take way too long to list.
1655258He is one of the Elder Gods of Badassery. He was one of them before some of those other people even ascended into the ranks.
1655273 True. I suppose There are 3 categories with the Gods of Badassery: the Ancient (meaning no longer with us),the Elder (the older ones still around) and the Youngans (guys who've been in the spotlight for a decade or so). So the Ancient Gods of Badassery would be John Wayne, Bruce Lee, Toshiro Mifune, Humphrey Bogart, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, Lee Marvin, and some others I can't think of right now. Elder Gods of Badassery go to our man Clint, Samuel L. Jackson, Morgan Freeman (his narration is badass and we all know it), Chuck Norris, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jackie Chan, and some others. The Youngan Gods of Badassery would be Jason Statham, Jet Li, Karl Urban, Iko Uwais (from The Raid: Redemption, he totally deserves a spot), Tony Jaa, and some others that maybe I'll think of later.
1655360Yesssss...gooood my ssssl-I mean That's great! Now all we have to do is organize this and call it a religion. If Scientology can do it, so can we!
1655052 Awesome show! Its 2nd only to Battlestar Galactica in my opinion.
1655074>>1655360 You forgot Sam Eliot amongst the Elders. Hell, in my opinion, he may even exceed Clint for level of Badassness!
Plus, Mal just reminds me of him more.
1656171As EVERYONE knows, it is an utter shame it was ended prematurely.
Ain't no rest for the wicked !
ok this is getting good can hardly wait to see how it turns out