The Pink Haired Woman

by Seran

Lucia

Fluttershy was relieved from her hunger as she sat with the empty bowl in front of her. She felt a nervous, uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach as she watched John swirl the remaining broth with his spoon. She listened as he took deep breaths and muttered on his way out. She didn’t want to make the first move after what happened earlier. She feared that John may be unstable, especially around her.

“What have you heard about Lucia?” John finally fell out of his trance and began to speak, “You said people talked about her. What do you know?”

Fluttershy stuttered as she tried to recollect the information. “I– I was told that she was your girlfriend and– and…” She didn’t want to say it.

“Look, you can tell me,” John calmly said. “I’m not doing this to punish you. I just want talk to you about it, for a personal reason.”

After a deep breath she finally finished her answer. “She is dead, and many people say it was your fault.”

John looked at her as he took in what she said. With a feigned smile he looked at her and replied. “She is dead, however I can’t say for certain that it wasn’t my fault.”

Fluttershy was astonished by his remark. “What happened to her?”

He sat back and looked at his bowl. “Let me tell you something about her.” He said with a chuckle as he reminisced. “Lucia was a special girl for me.” He started. “We met in high school in art class. My art couldn’t compare to hers but she helped me get by. We just stuck together since. When my mother died she helped me get through it. After college we always felt like we would be together.” His smile went away. “However, she had this habit that got her into trouble and she never wanted to get face it.”

Fluttershy sat in suspense as John took a sip of the broth. Her attention was set on the girl from John’s past.

“She was a heavy gambler. She would always sneak out and play poker with her friends and their... friends. She stayed thin in school because she didn’t have any lunch money most days. That got her into trouble a few times during college. She owed people money, bad people. This ended up with hospital visits. She was actually missing some teeth because of her habit.”

Fluttershy was surprised. The idea of brutality towards a person seemed too obscene.

“I… I had a fight with her over it before she left out the door and had the accident.” He paused to keep himself from tearing up. “It was a sad day.”

“What happened?” Fluttershy brought herself into asking.

“You know what the lottery is?” John changed the subject. She shook her head. “It’s another gambling thing where the winner gets millions of dollars. However, it is just a one in a billion chance of winning and yet millions try.”

Fluttershy was confused by his reasoning. She was also trying to get the point of his segue.

“Lucia entered and won that night.” He began to tear up, “she never knew. She would always buy a lottery ticket. Adding more to the pot, more of my money.”

Fluttershy crouched down in fear of John breaking down again.

John took a deep breath before spilling his heart out. “I got home early one day…”

________________________________________

“Lucia…?” John entered the apartment wearing his police uniform. He did not get a response. He heard some talking from the bedroom and he felt curious to investigate. He set his keys down on the table along the hallway. The sound became clearer as he noticed it was Lucia on the phone. As he got closer he could hear the conversation.

“Yeah, I can’t believe it either.” The woman said in glee. “138.6 million dollars right now.” The person on the other side replied something. “No, I haven’t told him yet. I’m waiting until the numbers are out to tell him.”

“Lucia?” John called her as he entered through the doorway.

“I need to go.” She ended the call as she turned to see John in surprise. “John, you’re home early.”

“Who was that on the phone?” John calmly asked trying to hide his frustration.

“Oh, just Ashlee,” she said with a coy smile. “Why are you home? I thought you were on call.”

“Stop changing the subject Lu.” John began to get furious. “Are you gambling again?”

“No, I was just talking about the–” She tried to defend herself being caught in a lie.

“Bullshit!” He shouted at her, “I heard you talking about it, you said the jackpot was four hundred thousand, or some shit.”

“John, calm down.” Lucia pleaded with him. “It’s just a lottery ticket, no big.”

“No big? Would betting on a miniscule chance just for a bit of money be ‘no big?’” John grew more impatient.

“John,” She recoiled, “It’s nothing.”

“Nothing?” John kept on going, “I can see trying an elementary school raffle but this? This is pointless. No, beyond pointless– this is damn impossible. and you keep throwing money into that fire. It’s crazy to just keep going at it with that addiction you have. Why don’t you see it?”

“What I see is the money that we can use, John. How can you not be attracted to the idea of a better life?”

“You always do this,” John continued his rant. “You always say you will stop, but you keep escalating! How many teeth do you have to lose before you learn, you can’t win?”

“You always bring that up, Juan,” Lucia grew irate with the line of questioning. “Just because you saved me those times it doesn’t mean you are my boss!”

“But I saved you, and paid the hospital bills and your false teeth!” John declared, “You would look like your grandpa if it wasn’t for me. In fact you would probably be dead if it wasn’t for my partner!”

Lucia was appalled by the accusations. She trembled in anger as she tried to come up with a comeback.

“I work hard trying to get the money we need to live!” John continued, “And you keep throwing it down a pit! And not just that, but you keep going back, again and again, trying to make up what you lost. Why? Why do you keep doing this?”

“I want to make a better life for us!” She shouted angrily. John was surprised by this revelation. “I’m tired of this Juan,” She continued as she cried, “I’m tired of this, every week we just fight over the my bets, and I’m sick and tired of it!”

John tried to get close to her, but she turned away as he got close. “Well maybe you should just stop. I mean, my wallet can’t take any more losses.”

“Your wallet, that is all you ever think about Juan? Your money and your wallet? What about our future?”

“We can’t have a future without money, Lu!” John retaliated with her questioning. ‘You’ve lost what, three thousand the last time you bet on horses, and two thousand at the blackjack table. My money, and you keep asking for more. I am barely making ends meet with your habit. How do you expect us to have a future with the pay you keep giving the impossible odds.”

“And once I win the jackpot we will have a better future.” She tried to rationalize her , “we can finally move away from L.A. We can move to a new state and start over.” She took her hand out from behind her as she brought out the ticket. “With this, our futures are set and we can have all the money we need. We can have that future we always wanted.”

“You're too optimistic Lucia,” John shouted. “What if we don’t win? What if we never get those millions?” He then corrected himself. “When we don’t win, what will you do then? You spent what, twelve dollars on this ticket? How many tickets will it take before you even win half of it back? You are just wasting your life away with this shit and you will probably die before you break even on all your bets!”

John was breathing heavily after that final rant. His eyes turned to see his fiancé looking at him with a broken heart. John did not know what to do. Conflicted over his words he remained silent as the teary eyed woman threw the ticket at him and ran out the door, grabbing the keys on the way out.

________________________________________

John began to tear up trying to push himself to explain what happened to Lucia. “I, I still feel terrible for the things… I told her. For all the bad words I told her before she left out the door and out of my life.”

“Wha…what happened to her?” Fluttershy asked to keep the conversation going.

“She ran over a piece of metal and it tore the brake lines.” He said between wipes. “She crashed head-on into a truck going fifty.” After a soft sigh he calmed down. “The investigators claimed it as vehicle tampering and tried their hardest to put me in jail. Our argument added to that flame. I almost lost it all.” John began to chuckle with a blank stare in his face. “I cashed in the ticket after the accident and what do you know, she won. It was the jackpot and my words came true. Just another reason to put me in jail.” He fell silent as he reminisced over the money.

Fluttershy had something on his mind. She felt awkward listening to the man talk about his former lover. She felt compelled to ask him. “Why are you telling me all this?”

John looked up as he placed his hands together. “I just needed to let it go, and make room for something new.” He said with a heavy sigh and a strange smile.

She felt confused as he looked her in the eyes. She tried to look away as she made her follow up question. “Let go for what?”

John moved his arm closer to hers, creating an uneasy feeling between the two adults. “It has been fun being with Lucia, but I can’t keep living in the past.” John said with a smile. “Before I met you I was miserable. I shut myself in and broke my relationships with everyone I met eventually. But then you came and your presence itself changed my life. I can’t even think of being this happy without you. You make me happy, and you helped me so much. I don’t want to leave your side, because…” His voice began to quiver as he tried to sound out his words. “I… I love you.”

The room fell silent with the two looking at each other. Without a word, the woman stood up and headed down the hall into her bedroom. The awkward silence fell as John punished himself, trying to create a reason not to throw the dishes out the door.

With a limp, he left the dishes alone and headed to his room to sulk. As he entered he looked at the photo on his night stand. He reached for it and grabbed it and looked deep into the woman’s eyes. With a soft whisper he opened the drawer and hid the portrait inside. He sat back in his bed regretting the moment that had just passed. “What did I just do?” He muttered to himself as he laid onto his bed.