Excellent work! To answer your question, I would say limit the sex scenes to those that move the story forward. Once could make the convincing argument that the amount of sex in this scene was essential in establishing Applejack's discomfort with this line of work, and did so without being too graphic. As long as you keep that up, I'm sure you'll use the right amount of violence/sexual content.

1616869

I agree. It's pretty much like he said. Though, I wonder if the social and cultural differences will be more apparent later on.

Seems to be off to a good start, makes me wonder what happened to Applejack to make her want to leave. Makes me wonder if anyone will go looking for that sunk ship...makes me wonder if the rest of the Mane Six will show up.

Though I do wonder how they don't recognize Equestria as the nation that controls the sun. I mean, that seems like a super important thing for the geopolitical state of the globe/disc that is the world.

1617274
Well, the way I always viewed it (even thought it's contradictory) Celestia only controls the sun IN EQUESTRIA. Impossible in the real world, but this is a magical world right?

1617307

If that were the case, then she would only have a several minutes long shift, and that still doesn't explain why the others don't know.

I mean, if this was the system, then every nation's Sun God would pass it off to the next one to regulate the day...makes me wonder what would happen if one just sort of held onto it.

Of course I can be overthinking and I should accept that Applejack is in Fantasy Pony Japan and going to be a samurai...though I think she would prefer the mace and club, rather then the sword...she's rough and tumble that way, no?

For this story I believe B is enough. It's descriptive but not enough to be cloppy, and if it was more detailed I think it might take away from the feel I guess of what's here already. That's my thoughts anyway. Interesting fic ya got here.

I feel that for this chapter, the level was perfect as far as the sexual theme goes. If later on, you reach a point where it would be best for more detail, I would be fine with that personally. While some may feel bothered by more detail, I feel that the story is the creation of the author's imagination, and that it is the author who should write what he/she (it or something worse if you refer to my roommate lol) feels the story needs.

Thank you for assuring that all the questions I had in my head will be answered in due course. With the quality of this story as high as it is, I know that the wait will be well worth it!

A most excellent storyline so far, and it shows a level of knowledge that is uncommon. Having lived in Japan for a year, I find stories such as this one to be very enjoyable, especially when they are of the quality this story has shown itself to be.

1619432
Very encouraging comment. Just so you know, I use real and fake places, real and fake stuff (I made up something called the "four sacred arts") and various other things. Just so you don't think "what? the Japanese never mentioned this!" or try to correct me.

But you lived in Japan...really... I want that experience!!

1619475 was stationed there for a year while in the Marine Corps

1619578
Oh...uh...nevermind then.

1620458 lol The military life ain't that bad. Granted, it is not for everyone. I do hope you get a chance to go there someday. Its a beautiful country with an amazing culture.

I like this. Another chapter please
Also, I say B.

So, quick question to everyone, why so many dislikes?

Sex in a story is like chili in a meal. It's there to give a little extra 'BAM' in it. I don't mind having sex in a story, but don't overdo it. However, unless you want it to be a clopfic, then go for it! The plot is interesting too. Applejack stranded in a foreign country where females are oppressed. I like it.

"Why so many dislikes?" you say? Well, could be the massive amount of exclamation marks that is off-putting or the rather poorly detailed surrounding and ponies. People like to be reminded about how things smell, taste, feel and look like at the sametime in a story. If I were you I'd send it to a reviewer first, then get some tips. Describe things more, espically in dialogues. How are the rooms? Do they walk past things while talking? How does the buildings look like? Is there anything special that Applejack takes notice on? All these things can keep a story interesting and long. It's already 8k words long too. Also your fic is set on mature + sex. That usually implies the story should have just sex and little story. Change it to teen + sex since the details of the sex scene weren't that explicit, in my opinion.

It's not a bad fic, atleast I don't think so. Thumbs up.

I love this story. Although it could use a little more sex. But anyways update soon so I can read it. I hate waiting!!!!

1631575
This one's not very cloppy, but after this one I'll upload some glorified clopfics.