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Sequels1

  • E Griffon the Heave-ho

    Eclipseverse: The return of griffon demigoddess Gertrude Snowheart prompts a visit from the Griffon Emperor which could have a serious impact on relations between Equestria and the Empire, as well as between Rainbow Dash and an old friend.  · CrowMagnon
    35,110 words · 239 views  ·  16  ·  2  · 

Featured In11

More Stories5

  • T Crisis of Infinite Twilights: Truth, Dare, or Drink

    While Scootaloo and the God Squad are overseas, the alternate Twilights left behind get bored just waiting around. One of them comes up with a game to pass the time and get to know each other better. Possibly more than they really wanted to.
    28,660 words · 797 views  ·  87  ·  2 · sex
  • T Granny Disapproves

    When Applejack and Ditzy Doo are caught together in the kitchen, what will Granny Smith say? Probably not what you think.
    5,286 words · 3,697 views  ·  419  ·  29
  • T Warrior of Love, Sweetie Honey!

    In the near future, a beautiful warrior maiden with mysterious powers must save dystopian Manehattan from falling into the hooves of a brutal tyrant.
    19,339 words · 304 views  ·  17  ·  0
  • E Lunar Eclipse: The Rock Opera

    Set in the same universe as "Snowblind". Discover the history of Celestia, Luna and Eclipse presented through the medium of rock opera, with music by The Protomen.
    42,494 words · 506 views  ·  24  ·  3
  • E Griffon the Heave-ho

    Eclipseverse: The return of griffon demigoddess Gertrude Snowheart prompts a visit from the Griffon Emperor which could have a serious impact on relations between Equestria and the Empire, as well as between Rainbow Dash and an old friend.
    35,110 words · 239 views  ·  16  ·  2

Blog Posts19

  • Monday
    EMV #3: Springtime Sorrow

    This one came to me after listening to the folk songs from the soundtrack of season two of Telltale's The Walking Dead game. Well, that is, I knew that I'd have to use this hauntingly beautiful song in some capacity the moment I heard it, and the question was 'how'. Then it just occurred to me that I could use it to tell a little backstory.

    Toward the end of Snowblind, I made references to Shangwe ya Maisha, the former bearer of the Element of Laughter. Once, she was a zebra filly who joined Celestia, Luna, and their other friends on their quest to save the world. In the present day, because of a terrible crime she committed, Shangwe was imprisoned within the Everfree Forest. Every generation since, the zebras have sent one of their shamans to live in the forest and reinforce that prison.

    This is a glimpse of what happened in the first place, all those centuries ago.


    Surrounded by a dense forest that will one day come to be known as the Everfree, the Castle of the Two Sisters stands tall and new in the morning sun, without the wear and dilapidation caused by over a thousand years of neglect. Celestia and Luna, appearing as they were before fully ascending into complete alicorns, are accompanied by members of their personal guard from each of the pony tribes as they hurry to the edge of the castle grounds and into the woods where a search is already underway.

    Soon after they reach the treeline, an armored earth pony stallion wearing the dark colors of Luna's guards waves them over. When they get close enough, the stallion points out a small piece of blue cloth snagged on a fallen branch.

    Princess Celestia picks the cloth up with her magic and grimly sets her jaw. Luna looks at the cloth with a face filled with sorrow before turning back to her guard, who leads them deeper into the woods.

    Little girl, little girl

    Don't you lie to me

    Where did you sleep last night?

    As they move on, the view of them shimmers and changes, showing the same location late at night, with a single small unicorn filly wearing blue pajamas and a silver locket around her neck as she walks away from the castle, illuminated only by the moon and stars above. As she moves beyond the treeline, she pauses for a moment when her pajamas get caught on a branch, but her ears prick up as she hears something up ahead.

    Looking forward into the darkness of the forest, the filly sees a small herd of smiling fillies and colts around her own age. Illuminated by small balls of light that lazily hover around the ponies like fat fireflies, they wave to her and beckon her to follow them farther in.

    Giving her pajamas a rough tug, she rips herself free, leaving behind a scrap of cloth before she takes off after them.

    In the pines, in the pines

    Where the sun never shines

    Will shiver the whole night through

    The filly runs through the forest to try to catch up with the other children, but they pull farther and farther ahead of her, taking the lights with them. With the thick canopy above blocking out what little light there is, the filly's surroundings only grow darker and darker. Realizing that she is lost and almost blind once the other children have vanished from sight, she tries to light up her horn so that she can see, but her magic is weak, and she can barely illuminate anything more than a few feet away.

    Realizing that she is lost and alone, the filly begins to tremble. She crouches down and uses her hooves to open the locket. Inside are two small portraits that she looks to for comfort. Both are unicorns; one a mare in a simple, modest maid's uniform, the other a stallion wearing the golden armor of Celestia's personal guard. The filly closes her eyes and thinks back to the last time she saw her father, hugging him before he left on his daily patrol.

    My daddy was a railroad man

    Killed a mile and a half from here

    His head was found in a drivers wheel

    His body was never found

    Suddenly, the filly's ears prick up and she looks over her shoulder to see a dark pony-like shape looming menacingly behind her.

    She races through the woods in a panic, trying to get away from the menacing shadows, but more start to appear along her path. Not stopping her, but herding her toward a clearing up ahead that shines brightly under the silvery light of the moon. When she makes it out into the center of the clearing, the dark shapes follow her, and she finds that what looked like monsters were actually the fillies and colts who led her into the forest.

    But something is wrong. Under the moon's light, she sees that the other children have small buds and branches growing out of their bodies. They smile as they draw closer, but their eyes all have a sinister green tint that makes their grins look more threatening than playful. Fearfully cowering and creeping backward away from the other children, the filly brings one hoof up to hold her locket close to her chest like a protective charm.

    When she does this, the locket is surrounded by the magical aura of another unicorn, and yanked roughly from her neck. She tries to leap toward the colt who did this, but is immediately restrained and pinned to the ground by some of the other children.

    In the pines, in the pines

    Where the sun never shines

    Will shiver the whole night through

    The filly struggles in vain against her captors, desperately reaching out a hoof to try to take the locket back. The colt who has it in his magic pops it open and sneers in disdain at the pictures before casually throwing it away. The filly begins sobbing and begging with the other children, but they don't pay her any mind as they start ripping the pajamas from her body.

    You've caused me to weep

    You've caused me to mourn

    You caused me to lose my home

    The filly screams, pleading with the children to stop. Soon, when she is as naked as the rest of them, they get off of her only to push her toward another filly. The little unicorn trembles with terror as she looks up and sees that the other filly is not a pony, but Shangwe, who looks down at her with a warm, friendly smile.

    Shangwe extends a hoof to the filly, but the little unicorn clenches her eyes shut and cowers, hiding her head under her hooves.

    Little girl, little girl

    Where'd you sleep last night?

    Not even your mother knows

    Shangwe frowns when the filly doesn't take her hoof. She takes a deep breath, then exhales a cloud of pollen into the unicorn's face. The filly coughs, tears streaming down her face, but as she breathes in more of the pollen, her expression gradually changes from fear to a smile of joy when she looks up at Shangwe again, this time gazing adoringly at the zebra while patches of tree bark start to form along her body.

    In the pines, in the pines

    Where the sun never shines

    Will shiver when the cold winds blow

    Later, after the morning sun has risen, Celestia and Luna spot the glint of what little sunlight filters through the canopy shining off of the filly's discarded locket. Celestia picks it up with her magic and opens it, looking at the pictures inside before turning toward the maid whose image is there. The mare takes it into her own magic and bites her hoof with worry and grief before they hear one of the guards calling out to them.

    The princesses and their maid immediately hurry to see what the guard has found. What they find at the end of the trail makes even Luna's dark coat turn pale, and the unicorn maid drops her daughter's locket.

    Where there had recently been a clearing, there are now several new trees. The maid lets out a grieving wail as she throws herself at the roots of one of those trees before her body simply collapses into heavy, convulsing sobs. Luna likewise clings tightly to her big sister, pressing her face into Celestia's shoulder while she cries. Celestia herself doesn't shed any tears, but it is obvious from looking at her that she is struggling to stay strong as she looks at the trees.

    A few feet up the face of the nearest one, the bark of the tree is knotted in a way that is identical to the face of the filly that they had been searching for. Likewise, the rest of the trees have the faces of a filly or colt, each of them with a blissful smile.

    4 comments · 25 views
  • Monday
    EMV #2: Mare-Do-Well

    Hey, guys. While I wouldn't say that Assassin's Creed: Rogue has stolen my soul, it's definitely borrowing it for a while, so no new story chapters yet. That's not to say that I don't have something to post, though, so here we are with another Eclipseverse Music Video. Those of you who've been reading my stuff know that with Rainbow Dash grounded for life, Scootaloo has a different idol to fangirl over; the mysterious masked Mare-Do-Well. But surely this anonymous heroine is just the stuff of comic book legend, right?

    The following EMV has some spoilers for a plot idea I had for side-stories in the Eclipseverse, but considering how long it'll take me to get around to that, and the fact that almost nobody reads my journal entries, I figured it was fine. ;) As for the song, I'm using the Peter Hollens/Sam Tsui version of it instead of the original, because I love Peter's work.

    Enjoy, and see if you can guess Mare-Do-Well's identity before the end.


    Racing down the streets of Manehattan, an armored carriage peels away from the bound forms of several burly earth ponies in security guard uniforms. Being pulled by four earth ponies wearing black bodysuits and masks, they duck down a side street in the industrial part of the city, and hide themselves in a run-down factory. Once they have it parked, they take their masks off and start looking around as if expecting somepony to be there.

    While they start to spread out, Mare-Do-Well looks down on them from the rafters, the lenses of her mask narrowing as she watches them.

    I knew you were

    That you were gonna come to me

    And here you are

    But you better choose carefully

    One of the criminals looks around an old pile of crates. To his surprise, he sees the stallions he was looking for, a pair of stallions in sharply-tailored suits. But they look like they've been beaten up, and are bound and gagged. Before he can shout to warn the others, though, a net falls over him, and he suddenly finds himself getting tangled up in it as he is yanked up to dangle from the rafters.

    'Cause I, I'm capable of anything

    Of anything and everything

    The other three crooks immediately come running to find their comrades wrapped up, and once they are in position, a bright light comes on, casting a shadow against the nearby wall of a mare with a hat in cape rearing up dramatically. They turn to look, having to shield their eyes from the glare of the light in order to see Mare-Do-Well posing for them.

    Make me your Aphrodite

    Make me your one and only

    Beside Mare-Do-Well, a ball the size of a large marble is held in a pink magical aura. She tilts her head down toward them and launches the "marble" to the floor between them. When it hits the ground, it breaks open and releases a cloud of blue smoke that fills their vision.

    But don't make me your enemy, your enemy, your enemy

    Coughing and blinded thanks to the smoke, the thugs try to stagger their way out of the cloud. One of them lags behind slightly, and Mare-Do-Well rises up out of the smoke to grab him in a chokehold from behind. The other two turn and see this, so one of them tries to hit her while she's distracted. Instead of striking the heroine, however, she twists around at just the right moment so that the one she's choking takes the hit instead, knocking him out completely.

    When the attacking stallion realizes what just happened, Mare-Do-Well winks at him. This enrages him, and he comes at her with a quick series of jabs that fail to connect as she bends and twists her body in a strange, almost drunk manner that is too confusing and distracting for him to land a solid blow.

    So you wanna play with magic

    Well, you should know what you're falling for

    Baby do you dare to do this?

    Cause I'm coming at you like a dark horse

    After letting the stallion waste his energy for a bit, Mare-Do-Well seamlessly transitions into attacking. After faking him out into overextending his reach, she wraps her foreleg around his and painfully wrenches it, wasting no time in using her other hooves to land a series of pressure point strikes that knock the air out of his lungs and take the strength out of his limbs before she finally lets him go, turns around, and bucks him into the nearby wall.

    Are you ready for, ready for

    A perfect storm, perfect storm

    Cause once you're mine, once you're mine

    With her would-be attacker down, Mare-Do-Well turns to the remaining thug and narrows her eyes at him. The criminal gulps and immediately turns tail to flee, racing out of the factory and into open air.

    There's no going back

    Before he gets far, Mare-Do-Well chases after the thug, zooming out of the smoke cloud so fast that electricity sparks the air behind her. The stallion is so terrified, he doesn't even notice her grabbing him until he realizes that his hooves are no longer touching the ground. Once he does, he looks over his shoulder and sees Mare-Do-Well carrying him higher and higher into the sky.

    Mark my words

    This love will make you levitate

    Like a bird

    Like a bird without a cage

    Realizing how high they're going, he covers his eyes with his hooves. When he peeks out again, Mare-Do-Well has him dangling from the top of the tallest building in the city. She lets go, allowing him to drop several feet before he reaches out and holds on tightly to the spire at the top of the building.

    But down to earth

    If you choose to walk away, don't walk away

    Mare-Do-Well hovers down to the stallion's level and pulls out a newspaper with a headline reading "ARMORED CARRIAGE ROBBERY! MAGIC RELICS STOLEN EN ROUTE TO MANEHATTAN MUSEUM!" He shakes his head and protests his innocence, but Mare-Do-Well gets in his face with a hard glare.

    It's in the palm of your hand now baby

    It's a yes or no, no maybe

    So just be sure before you give it all to me

    All to me, give it all to me

    The crook sweats nervously, trying to hold out, but he looks down at the ground far, far below and his resolve cracks. He begins talking and points his hoof downward. Mare-Do-Well looks at where he is pointing, and the camera pans down and zooms in on a large mansion. Inside, Mare-Do-Well is sneaking through the halls when she finds herself facing a grid of criss-crossing lasers.

    So you wanna play with magic

    Well, you should know what you're falling for

    Without hesitation, Mare-Do-Well stretches her legs, then dives between the beams. Expertly shifting her body and occasionally using her wings for added mobility, she maneuvers her way through the security and makes a perfect landing. She then hits a switch on a nearby wall panel, shutting off the beams before pushing onward.

    Baby do you dare to do this?

    Cause I'm coming at you like a dark horse

    Mare-Do-Well makes it to the mansion's reading room where she finds a very large earth pony in a classy smoking jacket sipping a drink in front of the fireplace. He turns toward the heroine, looking like he has been expecting her, and throws his drink into the fire, and the two of them glare at each other and brace themselves.

    Are you ready for, ready for

    A perfect storm, perfect storm

    Cause once you're mine, once you're mine

    The stallion and Mare-Do-Well charge each other, their hooves lashing out to trade blows. The huge stallion is as strong as he is big, his hooves landing crushing strikes against the heroine.

    Despite the difference in size, however, Mare-Do-Well is not only able to withstand the hits, but her own attacks strike the kingpin with enough force to push him back. Realizing that they are nearly evenly matched in strength and endurance, the kingpin takes advantage of the first opportunity to grab her, then lift her up off the floor and spin around, hurling her with enough force to send her through a wall.

    Before she can get back, the huge stallion lifts up a sleeve on his smoking jacket, revealing a bejeweled bracelet. Mare-Do-Well pulls herself back into the room just as he touches the largest of the jewels, and a shimmering aura surrounds his body.

    Mare-Do-Well tries to move in again to land a few quick hits, but this time the stallion doesn't even bother trying to avoid them. He simply laughs as her hooves bounce harmlessly against the magical shield surrounding him, and a backhooved sweep of his leg sends her tumbling away from him. This time, Mare-Do-Well struggles to get up after the hit.

    Nevertheless, Mare-Do-Well's hat lifts up, revealing a unicorn horn glowing with a pink aura. The same aura surrounds both her hat and another smoke pellet pulled out of her suit, which she throws right into the kingpin's face. Despite his shield, the stallion is still momentarily blinded by the smoke for a few seconds, and when the smoke clears just enough to see, he finds himself facing five near-identical Mare-Do-Wells.

    Meanwhile, in another room of the mansion, a sixth Mare-Do-Well, taller and leggier than the others, is in front of a wall safe. She concentrates carefully, a pink aura surrounding her lockpicking tools as she maneuvers them in the keyhole. It isn't long before she manages to work the lock, and the door swings open to reveal an ornate bejeweled rod in the same style as the kingpin's bracelet, with a small tag attached to it reading "Rod of Dispel"

    There's no going back

    Back in the reading room, the five Mare-Do-Wells slip out of sight into the smoke. The kingpin braces himself and looks around, anticipating an attack. One launches herself through the smoke, striking him in the side with a rapid-fire barrage of punches that don't penetrate his shield, but do succeed in pushing him several feet before he skids to a stop. The instant he does stop, though, a pegasus Mare-Do-Well drops down from the ceiling and twists around to buck him in the face, taking him by surprise enough to keep him off-balance.

    So you wanna play with magic

    Well, you should know what you're falling for

    The third Mare-Do-Well takes advantage of this and lifts up her hat to reveal a unicorn horn. Aiming it at his face, she fires several blasts of magic from her horn. Instead of even bothering with trying to overpower the shield, they stop just short and explode in front of his eyes in blinding flashes of light and color. Dazed and woozy, the kingpin lashes out at the first Mare-Do-Well he sees, only for her to contort herself out of harm's way and grab his leg, using his own momentum to trip him off his hooves.

    Baby do you dare to do this?

    Cause I'm coming at you like a dark horse

    Once the kingpin is down, the tallest of the Mare-Do-Wells enters the room with the Rod of Dispel held in her magic. Aiming it right at him, she touches a large jewel on its side, sending out a beam of anti-magic which makes his shield pop like a soap bubble. He barely has a moment to realize what's happened before the Mare-Do-Wells are on him, knocking him around the room as they take turns pummeling him to keep the huge stallion off balance.

    Are you ready for, ready for

    Are you ready for, ready for

    A perfect storm, perfect storm

    After this beating goes on for several seconds, it finally culminates when a pegasus Mare-Do-Well starts circling him at incredible speed. Electricity crackles throughout the miniature tornado that fills the room while the other heroines back away. The kingpin, already rattled and barely standing, is then subjected to an uppercut charged with all of the lightning energy that Mare-Do-Well had built up, shocking him into unconsciousness as he is finally knocked down.

    A perfect storm, perfect storm

    While crowds gather around to watch the police bring out the criminal and his stolen artifacts, the six Mare-Do-Wells are perched atop a neighboring building. After making sure that nopony is around to see, each remove their masks. Trixie Lulamoon and Lightning Dust are the first to reveal their identities, sharing a hoofbump and a smug grin. Daring Do and Berry Punch are next, giving each other a nod of respect. The last two are Maud Pie and Fleur Dis Lee, the latter of whom takes out a camera with her magic in order to snap a shot of the kingpin as he's walked out.

    Cause once you're mine, once you're mine

    Cause once you're mine,

    With a click of the camera, cut to a shot of the kingpin sitting on the bed of a prison cell as the door slams shut on him.

    There's no coming back

    2 comments · 31 views
  • 1w, 4d
    Non-pony plot bunny - Gentleman of Interest

    This is an idea that just came to me while thinking about two of my favorite crime bosses in fiction, both of whom live in a world where there are things going on behind the scenes that the average thug can't even imagine.


    (Person of Interest/The Dresden Files)

    Carl Elias hates Chicago. That said, he does have a certain level of respect for "Gentleman" Johnny Marcone. The two of them share certain values in common, and do their best to manage the criminal underbelly of their respective cities.

    Having grown increasingly aware that there is some shadowy new force imposing its will on his city, Elias decides to meet with Marcone. It's said that Marcone, for all his professionalism, has dealings with interests outside the norm. Some of the more superstitious sources even claim that "Gentleman" Johnny has ties to people who border on... the supernatural.

    Elias doesn't believe in such things, of course, but if Marcone knows anything about the mysterious force that has his acquaintances Finch and Reese so frightened, then it behooves him to find out whatever it is, to better protect his business.

    Carl Elias has no idea that the rumors about Marcone are, if anything, understated...

    Just as neither of them have any idea of the technological 'gods' that are constantly watching them all.

    0 comments · 7 views
  • 1w, 4d
    Help Wanted

    Okay, so I've been thinking about this for a while now. If you're reading this, then odds are good that you're familiar with my stories set in what I call the 'Eclipseverse', which would also mean that you're probably familiar with the fact that I don't crank them out with any great speed. So, what I'm hoping to do is to open the setting up to encourage some other writers to contribute to it and flesh out the world.

    Slice-of-life in particular, comedy, maybe even a few romance stories would be welcomed, and allow me to focus on the big 'myth arc' stories. If you're out there and you're interested, please let me know via a response to this post and I would be happy to get in touch to discuss ideas.

    1 comments · 25 views
  • 14w, 1d
    Waking Night Trailer/"EMV" #1

    Hey, guys. This is just something I did for fun, because I love listening to music and attaching it to various scenes for my stories, but a lot of the time, it's for things where the story doesn't exist yet anywhere but in my head, or isn't in a context that would be suited to inclusion in a fic. I certainly can't post them as fics in their own right, so I figured what the heck, I'll blog 'em. So here we go, the first EMV, or "Eclipseverse Music Video", with the music and lyrics taken from the second-season theme song for RWBY.


    -----

    Lt. Sparkle sits alone beside a campfire, wearing nothing but a pair of saddlebags as she pushes a Mare-Do-Well costume into the flame. She grits her teeth and clenches her eyes shut as tears well up and start to overflow. A single drop falls from her cheek, and the camera zooms in on it as it falls. Reflected in the teardrop is a grainy, flickering vision of the sun and moon hanging in the sky.

    The two celestial bodies draw closer and closer to one another until the moon completely blocks out the sun. The sky around the eclipse turns blood-red as an inky shadow spreads across the moon's surface in the shape of a black alicorn. Once the image forms, the shadow alicorn's eye gleams and the camera pulls out again as the now-crimson drop falls onto the blade of a golden dagger sitting beside Twilight.

    There's a point where it tips

    There's a point where it breaks

    There's a point where it bends

    And a point we just can't take

    Anymore

    Twilight picks the dagger up in her magic and stares at it until she's surprised by a white hoof reaching out to take her shoulder. She turns to look, and sees Rarity reaching out to comfort her, with Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkamena and Fluttershy all standing nearby. Twilight brings a hoof up to her face to wipe the tears from her eyes, and the scene transitions to the six of them running through the Everfree forest while the eclipse hangs overhead.

    There's a line that we'll cross

    And there's no return

    There's a time and a place

    No bridges left to burn

    Anymore

    While the six mares run, the view follows their path and rushes ahead to the ruins of an ancient castle, where a black cloud hovers over the courtyard. From out of the cloud, Lady Moonshadow, a green pegasus mare with a black-and-red mane drops to the ground. She is followed by Mesmer Eyes, an almost emaciated purple unicorn stallion with a green mane and slitted pupils in his yellow eyes, and Blue Rose, a blue earth pony mare with a demented smile and a pink-and-white mane tied back in a long braid.

    Moonshadow grins, revealing a mouth full of sharp, predatory fangs as she spreads her wings, and the cloud above coalesces behind her into the form of the pitch-black alicorn seen briefly in the moon's shadow.

    We can't just wait with lives at stake

    Until they think we're ready

    Our enemies are gathering

    The storm is growing deadly

    The black alicorn opens a glowing eye, and the flash consumes the whole screen before a series of images of the Mane 6 begin to pass by, each one transitioning into each other like colored sand being blown by the wind from one flashback into the next.

    Pinkamena stands behind a set of bongo drums as she recites poetry, but the the drums blow away and the color of flame surrounds her as her expressionless face becomes more terrified and urgently shouting.

    Fluttershy dances on a stage beside Iron Will, until the scene changes and she is running away while Will tries to fight off several bat-winged and red-eyed batponies rabidly swarming around him.

    Rarity stands in the streets of Canterlot beside several other ponies, all looking up at Princess Celestia standing on her royal balcony, but darkness sweeps over the scene and she flees from a black cloud that fills the streets, consuming the ponies who aren't fast enough to escape.

    Rainbow Dash sits in a forest clearing, tending to the injured paw of a large bear. When it changes, she is narrowly avoiding being clawed at by the same bear, whose eyes are now empty black pits.

    Applejack walks up the road to Sweet Apple Acres, daydreaming about being reunited with Granny Smith, Bic Mac and Apple Bloom. The images changes to her running away with tears in her eyes, however, and her imagination turns to a vision of herself cradling an unconscious Apple Bloom in her forelegs with an utterly distraught Granny and Big Mac by her side.

    Now it's time to say goodbye

    To the things we loved

    And the innocence of youth

    How the time seemed to fly

    From our carefree lives

    And the solitude and peace we always knew

    The last image of the six shows Twilight in full Royal Guard armor, standing at attention, but rather than shifting into another still shot, it instead transitions into frenetic motion as, no longer wearing any armor or clothing, she charges into a group of red-eyed vampire batponies, using teleportation and quick strikes from unexpected angles to throw them off-balance. This is followed by the others catching up to her and taking advantage of the distraction to knock the batponies down without slowing their pace.

    There's a day when we'll fight

    And we're not gonna fall

    There's a day when we'll stand

    And a day when we won't crawl

    Anymore

    Ahead of them, the sleeping form of Princess Luna lays reclined on a bed in the middle of a large stone chamber, her resting place illuminated by a shaft of moonlight shining down on her. Moonshadow, Mesmer Eyes and Blue Rose approach the sleeping princess, but stop and turn when the Mane 6 break through the batponies. Moonshadow gestures with her head toward the six, and the other two meet their charge.

    The Mane 6 throw themselves into a frantic melee against the vamponies. Thorny vines with blue blossoms erupt from Blue Rose's body, lashing out at the ponies like whips. Fluttershy helps Rarity and Applejack avoid them by picking them up and flying over the vines while Rainbow Dash somersaults over one and slides under another in order to get close enough that a flick of her wing hits her in the face with green dust, temporarily blinding her.

    There's a moment in time

    And there's no going back

    When we're pushed too hard

    And we won't hold our attack

    Anymore

    Twilight takes advantage of Blue Rose's disorientation to brace herself and charge her horn to let loose a magic bolt, but she gets knocked away by a blast of magic from Mesmer Eyes. The vampony unicorn smirks, seemingly unaware of Pinkamena coming up behind him to tackle him, but her body simply passes through his own as it evaporates, revealing the image to be nothing more than an illusion. Dozens of copies of Mesmer Eyes then begin popping into existence around her.

    At the same time, Fluttershy bobs and weaves in the air while Moonshadow uses her wings to hurl balls of pitch-black cloud at the other pegasus. Fluttershy gets hit in the face with one of these projectiles, blinding her. nevertheless, she spins around and throws Applejack and Rarity in Moonshadow's direction. Moonshadow lobs another ball of black cloud at Rarity when the unicorn lands. Instead of being blinded, though, Rarity is able to catch the cloudmass on her horn, and sends it flying back at Moonshadow. The vampony pegasus is caught by surprise, but still brings a wing up to block Applejack's attempt to capitalize on it by striking her while she's off-guard.

    We can't just cling to childish things

    As evil just grows closer

    Every pony's in jeopardy

    This fight is far from over

    The Mane 6 get backed up by the vamponies, the six of them protectively surrounding the sleeping Luna as a large number of vampire batponies join their superiors in surrounding the mares. At the same time, the black alicorn from before stalks toward them with dark wings outstretched. Despite being so thoroughly outnumbered, the six mares look at one another and nod resolutely before charging as one toward the black alicorn.

    Now it's time to say goodbye

    To the things we loved

    And the innocence of youth

    How the time seemed to fly

    From our carefree lives

    And the solitude and peace we always knew

    Their enemy rears up and flaps its immense wings, sending a wave of darkness rolling toward the Mane 6.

    Cut to black.

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Snowblind

by crowmagnon


Chapter 1 - The Last Night of Winter


How long has it been? How long have I been locked away? When the Sun and Moon and traitorous knights imprisoned me, my Palace of Ice was at the apex of its beauty. Now, I walk through crumbling halls.

Patches of ice crunch and crack beneath my talons, weakened by unknown eons of warming and re-freezing. Icicles hang from the ceiling of my once grand audience chamber, grown so fat from generations of neglect that they reach the floor like ugly, misshapen columns.

Fury seizes my heart as I look upon the destruction. However long ago it was, the memories of betrayal are perfectly preserved in my mind's eye. Celestia... Luna... I see them as if they are standing before me even now, their forms twisted and mutated to match their greed and lust for power. It was not enough for them to govern the passage of day and night, they had to rob me of my throne as well!

A shriek of rage erupts from my throat, making the palace tremble as my talons rip through one of those columns. A pillar of ice thicker than my body is sliced to pieces which slide apart and tumble to the floor.

In this way, though the walls of the palace have since melted into warped sheets of ice, I am able to carve my way out. A blast of crisp Winter air blows over my face once I create a pathway to the open air. Above, a blanket of thick clouds act as a shield between me and the hateful moon.

All around, blankets of snow cover the land, but already I can feel the first stirrings of Spring. This will not do. I will not have what is mine stolen away again so soon after my return. But first, I must disarm those who would imprison me again.

I take wing and soar through the air on the Winter wind, which guides me south. South, where I feel the thrum of the Elements of Harmony.

And if I cannot have them, then I will destroy those who bear them.

-----

It was shortly before dawn as Rarity looked out her window, a mug of hot chocolate steaming on the windowsill beside her. Her horn glowed faintly as she used her magic to tie her long purple hair into a braided ponytail, just as she had every morning for years, to the point that she no longer had to think consciously about it much. This practiced routine allowed her to focus more on what was really important. Outside, snow still covered the land for one last day before the ponies of Ponyville would clear it away to start spring. In theory, at least, considering the town's track record for the past ten years, but this was still her last chance to see such a pristine and unsullied view of a snow-covered Ponyville until the next winter.

It was a thing of purity and beauty. The street lamps illuminated the whole town, reflecting off of the blanket of snow covering everything. This made it all look like the town was painstakingly crafted from spun glass by a master artisan. Even the Everfree Forest off in the distance had the appearance of an arrangement of delicate crystals rather than the wild and anarchic expanse that it actually was.

It's views like this that make it all worth it, she thought to herself, levitating the mug of cocoa up to her lips. From my own land, in a house that I can be proud to share with my little sister when our parents are away. How did I ever get so lucky? Said land was a few acres in the rocky hills just a mile out from Ponyville. Underneath the layers of snow that blanketed the fields, the rocks she had gathered the previous autumn were sleeping in a carefully arranged pattern that would help the inherent magic flowing through the earth to grow the gems and minerals within once Spring kicked off.

While she savored the view and her drink, the farmer heard one of the upstairs doors quietly creak open as light, sleepy little hoofsteps made their way downstairs. Hoofsteps that were followed by the bipedal gait of the third occupant of the house.

Rarity looked over her shoulder as the two shambled down to the bottom of the stairs. "Good morning, Sweetie Belle. Good morning, Spike. What got you two out of bed so early?"

"Smelled choc'lit..." the baby dragon replied with a yawn. Rarity couldn't help but smile with pride and astonishment at how quickly the little guy was maturing. Only a few months old, and already he had the vocabulary of a young foal. Fortunately for the two of them, the farmer had made enough to share, as evidenced by mugs that were being kept warm on top of the fireplace. Reaching out with her magic, she levitated the cocoa over to the little ones.

"Thanks, sis," Sweetie Belle said as the mug was placed on the floor in front of her. She blew on it a few times to cool it before carefully picking the mug up with her hooves so she could take a few delicate sips.

Spike, on the other hoof, simply picked the hot mug up with his claws and started slurping it down. Kickstarted by the warmth in his belly and the sugar starting to reach his system, as well as sporting a rather impressive chocolate mustache, Spike let out a happy sigh that turned into a burp halfway.

The unicorn sisters giggled a little as Spike licked the cocoa off of his upper lip. "So, today's the big day," Rarity said, turning from the window to face them. "The mayor's put me in charge of making nests for the southern birds this Winter Wrap-Up, so can I count on you to help?"

Sweetie Belle and Spike both shouted, "Yay!" Then Spike asked, "What's Win'er Wrap-Up?"

-----

Applejack took care as she stepped off the train. The steps and platform were swept clear of snow and ice, but she reminded herself that one couldn't be too careful. After all, Spring hadn't begun yet. That was a big part of her reason for coming back to Ponyville. Once all four hooves were on the platform, the orange earth pony looked around. Her sharp green eyes drank in the sight of the town as it was just before dawn. A version of her former home that she had seen so rarely after her foalhood excursion to Manehattan had shown the young mare her true potential and purpose in life.

By no means did that mean she could no longer appreciate the sights around her, though. This view that most of Ponyville was still sleeping through, so nostalgic to her foalhood, was less like something left behind, and more like a secret whispered between old friends. It didn't matter that she had left a young apple farmer and returned wearing a luxurious winter coat styled so that as practical as it was, it actually wouldn't look out of place in an executive board room. Nor did the worth of the emerald earrings sparkling in the firefly light of the lamps illuminating the station. She had determined months ago that while Manehattan was her home, she would never, ever again ignore the place that Ponyville had in her heart.

While she gazed out across the slumbering town, the silence was interrupted by a soft pattering of hooves against the taut skin of a drum. The businessmare was startled for a moment, but then smiled widely as she turned to face the drummer.

"Home again, home again

No one's dancing a jig

There may seem no way out

From the holes that we dig

The wind lashes and bites

And the snow piles up

You don't know whether it or your heart

Will be first to stop

But fear not the winter

And its cold frosty sting

It's in friendship and laughter

You find the first seeds of Spring.

Wearing her trademark black turtleneck and beret that clashed hard with her pink coat and mane, the earth pony drummer stared straight ahead with a blank, melancholy expression. Long pink bangs hung flatly down one side of her face, but she tapped out a rhythm on her bongo drum that the businessmare eventually recognized as a Hearth's Warming Eve carol. And she might not have been smiling, but Applejack could swear that the pink in her coat and mane looked more vibrant than she remembered.

"Pinkamena! Oh, it's so good to see you, darling," Applejack said, walking over to give her friend a hug. One that was returned by the typically mopey mare. She then held Pinkamena at foreleg length and asked, "But what in Equestria are you doing out here? Aren't you freezing?"

"Nah, I'm good," the pink poet pony replied, tugging a little on her sweater. "Good thick turtleneck. Besides, it used to get a lot colder back on the rock farm. Plus, I figured somepony should be around to greet you."

Applejack cocked her head at that. "Greet me? But I never sent word that I was arriving. I wanted it to be a surprise, so even my family didn't know." When the poet simply gave her an enigmatic look and shrugged, Applejack narrowed her eyes. "Pinkamenaaaaa..."

Before she could reproach Pinkamena or demand a more concrete answer, though, the poet reached under her beret and pulled out a flask. She then popped it open and stuck it under Applejack's nose, hitting her nostrils with a scent that stunned her so hard that she immediately plopped down onto her flanks and stared at it as if it were a sapphire statue autographed by Daring Do herself. "Is... is that...?"

"Apple cider," Pinkamena replied. "I figured even though they don't know you're here, you should get to celebrate your arrival with a little Apple family hospitality."

Applejack gingerly took the flask into her own hooves. It certainly wasn't ladylike, or befitting a mare of her wealth and social standing, but her mouth was hanging open. She had been to wine-tasting parties featuring priceless vintages that were centuries old. She had even joined the Royal Sisters themselves in celebrating the return of Princess Luna with a bottle that had been painstakingly preserved through generation after generation since the year she was cast into her thousand-year slumber. That bottle had been the absolute last of its kind, never to be savored again by the tongue of any pony but those who had been in that room, and of those ponies only two had been alive long enough to identify the long-vanished vineyard from which it came.

Toward that bottle of wine, Applejack had only been able to muster up a fraction of the reverence she felt for the flask of cider in her hooves. She lifted it up to her lips and took a long pull of the sweet nectar. It was like drinking liquid sunshine with a hint of cinnamon, driving away the winter cold as she rolled it around in her mouth. Eventually, she swallowed and let out a soft, drawn out sigh of bliss.

"Pinkamena... you beautiful, brilliant mare... you are the very best friend I could ever ask for."

"I know," the poet replied, slinging her bongo across her back. "Isn't it sad?"

By way of response, Applejack offered the flask back to Pinkamena. "Only if you don't have a drink with me. And you simply must tell me what's been happening around town since I was here last!"

A third voice said, "Awww, that's sweet." This voice belonged to the porter she had hired back in Manehattan to carry her luggage for her. A smallish, gangly unicorn trembling from both the cold and the weight of the many bags and suitcases that were piled onto his back. Despite the strain, though, he said, "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt, Ms. Applejack."

The businessmare gave him a stern look, but just for a moment before offering him the flask. "Well, why don't you have a sip yourself, and then we can get those bags to the hotel?"

The smile of gratitude and relief on the unicorn's face was exceeded only by the way his eyes lit up when he got his first taste of Sweet Apple Acres cider.

-----

Even though the sky was still completely shrouded by thick clouds, Twilight knew that Celestia was raising the sun right at that moment. Most ponies let the movement of the celestial bodies define their schedules, but for one who's family was as close to the Princess as her's was, she had internalized the idea that it was the other way around. She walked down the street in a warm coat and scarf, carefully counting the doors while a checklist floated in the air beside her with a quill pen poised over the first box. This list was only one of several scrolls in her possession, the rest sticking out of her saddlebags.

"Priority 1: Wake Fluttershy," she read aloud, even though she had been the one to write it in the first place. She then stopped in front of the small two-story house that she was looking for and approached the door. Lifting up a hoof she carefully and deliberately knocked on it with what she hoped was the proper amount of force. Just loud enough to be heard by the occupants, but not so much as to wake their neighbors.

Assuming, of course, that they weren't such heavy sleepers that 'loud enough to wake them up' crossed over into the 'wake the neighbors' threshold. What would she do then? She was determined not to cause a disturbance, but what if there was no other option? She hadn't worked out a contingency plan! That was such a rookie mistake, so why hadn't she thought about it? Some 'strategist' she was, if she couldn't even plan for something as simple as knocking on a door--

--Which opened up while she was just entering the 'muttering to herself' phase of self-recrimination. On the other side, a hulking, bipedal bovine with a ring through his nose loomed over her from the shadows inside the house.

He then opened the door wider, smiling down at the unicorn. "Good morning, Lieutenant Sparkle! Come on in. What can Iron Will do for you?" He hobbled out of her way on one leg and a crutch, the other leg wrapped up in a cast, and closed the door behind her once she was inside.

"I'm off-duty right now, Will. You can just call me Twilight," she replied, grateful to find that the minotaur already had a fire going to warm the house up. She pulled her coat off and set it on a nearby hook. "Is Fluttershy up? I needed to talk to her about something of the utmost importance."

"Utmost importance?" Fluttershy's soft, sweet voice drifted down to them as the pink-haired pegasus made her way down the stairs. Fluttering over toward them, she gave her husband a morning kiss on the cheek that somehow still had the power to make the boisterous minotaur blush like a teenager on his first date. She then landed in front of Twilight and asked, "How bad is it?"

"It's horrible," Twilight replied earnestly. "I found out that Ponyville has a dark secret. Something horrible is going to happen today unless you and I are able to stop it."

"Oh my," the pegasus replied, putting a hoof up to her mouth in concern. "Is Eclipse going to come back somehow?!"

Twilight's eyes widened, and she shuddered at the thought. "Sun and moon, NO!"

Iron Will asked, "The schoolteacher is a vampire?"

Before Twilight could reply, Fluttershy interjected, "The spa is the conversion center for a doomsday cult?"

"The stallion who runs the apple farm is a part-time bounty hunter?"

"Ooh, you found out about Pinkamena's torture dungeon, didn't you?"

Twilight shook her head furiously and snapped, "No, no, no... What?! No! I just found out last night that for the last ten years, Ponyville's Winter Wrap-Up has been... tardy!" There was a moment following this declaration in which Twilight looked back and forth between Fluttershy and her husband, and the unicorn felt her cheeks heat up with mild embarassment. "And... you two already knew, and you're just messing with me right now, aren't you?"

Fluttershy giggled softly and put a foreleg across her friend's back. "Just a little. Rarity told us about a week or so ago, and we got the feeling you would get wound up about it."

Twilight let out a sigh, feeling a little mortified over how big a deal she had been about to make over the town's tardiness. Hanging her head low, she put a hoof over her face and groaned. "Yeah. Right. Sorry, guys, I should've realized how stupid that was, so I'll just go and--"

"NONSENSE!"

Twilight was nearly bowled back by Iron Will's sudden outburst, and probably would have been if not for the pegasus being right there beside her. The minotaur thumped his crutch against the floor and stuck his chest out as he proclaimed, "Iron Will and Fluttershy are more than happy to assist you in whatever you need to make Winter Wrap-up a success!"

"That's right," Fluttershy added, giving the unicorn a friendly nuzzle. "We know how important it is to you to do your best at whatever you do. And it's good to want to excel! Not to mention what it would do for the spirits of everypony in town to start Spring on time. Just remember to keep a little perspective. After all, we've already been through situations where the fate of the world actually did hang in the balance, and we got through it just fine!"

Twilight smiled gratefully. As usual, Fluttershy seemed to know just what to say to head off one of her entirely-too-frequent panic attacks. It was a little ironic that in the absence of the discipline and structure she had been immersed in for nearly half her life, it was a pegasus that kept her grounded, but considering the Element that she represented...

"YES!" This time, both ponies actually were knocked backward by the force of Iron Will's exuberance as he hobbled over to the next room over where the couple had a writing desk. After putting a pair of tiny reading glasses on, the minotaur cracked his knuckles and picked up a quill pen so he could start furiously scribbling down some notes. "That's gotta go in the book! Hmm... 'If you've already proven you're tough, you don't have to sweat the small stuff!' Yeah, that's a good start."

Getting themselves back up on their hooves, the ponies looked on as Iron Will wrote. Then they looked at each other and broke out in a shared quiet giggle.

"So you and Will are going to be ready to help out when things get started? I already spent the morning working up a plan for how to organize the teams for maximum efficiency, so with you two providing moral support and filling in some of the gaps..."

"Of course," Fluttershy replied, clearing some space on the living room's coffee table so that Twilight could unfurl some of the scrolls she brought. Sketched out maps of the town, along with diagrams and schedules for each of the tasks that would need to be accomplished in order to officially kick off Spring. Looking over the detailed plans, Fluttershy's eyes skimmed over them. "Wow, you did all this just this morning? You've got objectives lined up for everypony in Ponyville. Even..."

-----

"Rainbow Dash! It's time to wake! Get out of bed, for goodness sake!"

There was another round of banging on the door of the cottage Rainbow Dash called home. The cyan pegasus groaned and tried to drown it out by burying her head under her pillow. "Errrgh... leave me alone! It's still Winter for one more day. And considering it's Ponyville, probably more."

In response to that, a cloud of glowing green powder drifted into the cottage through a small gap under the door. It drifted toward the bed and took the shape of Zecora, the zebra standing outside the door. With her voice, the simulacra boomed, "Ponies do not hibernate! Just how much longer should I wait? I would not be out here making such a ruckus if I was not freezing off my tuchus."

Rainbow Dash groaned again, but this time in defeat as she rolled out of bed and kept the blessedly warm blankets wrapped around her body as she walked through the illusion of her mentor and made her way to the door. After opening it up to let Zecora inside, the pegasus glanced at the sky and asked, "Sorry, Teach, but why are you even hanging around? Don't you know the sun's still down?"

Zecora stepped inside, her stern tone melting along with the dusting of snow that had covered her traveling cloak. She pulled her hood back, her stiff mohawk of a mane springing back into place as she leaned in to give Rainbow Dash a friendly nuzzle. "I need an excuse to see my pupil? We haven't spoken much since you moved to Ponyville."

Dash sighed a little, but it didn't take much to get her to return the gesture of affection to her mentor. "I know, I just got caught up with settling in after Waking Night and the whole Eclipse thing, and then by the time I was done it was the middle of Winter, and once Spring kicks off and the animals wake up..." She saw the look in Zecora's eyes and quickly realized she wasn't going to get away with making excuses. Her head dipped down and she said, "Sorry, I'll make time."

Dash then glanced back up, noticing the bags under the zebra's eyes. "Say, Teach, are you feeling okay?"

Zecora gave the pegasus a thin smile as she took a seat on the floor. "I have been finding it difficult to sleep."

"You ever try counting sheep?"

This earned Dash a weary laugh from the zebra. "Indeed I have, even though you jest. But it has done little to end my unrest." Seating herself in a posture of meditation that made even the limber pegasus's joints ache in sympathy, Zecora took a few deep breaths and cast her gaze off somewhere distant, as if seeing something miles away through the walls of her cottage. "I have the same dream every night. Of Equestria lost in endless white. All the land trapped beneath the snow, and from above I hear the cries of the Windigoes."

Dash shivered slightly under her blanket. Every schoolfilly knew about the Windigoes from Hearth's Warming Eve stories and tales of Equestria's founding, but unlike most schoolfillies, she had good cause to suspect that they were more than just tall tales. Not to mention enough experience with spiritual monstrosities to vastly prefer facing things that would go down if you just bucked them in the face hard enough. "But that's just a bad dream, right Teacher? Ever since we stopped Eclipse, there hasn't been enough strife and conflict to feed those creatures."

Zecora smiled again as she meditated. "That is indeed how it seems. And I hope they are nothing but bad dreams. Nevertheless, it would ease my mind if you would allow me to join you today. Would you be so kind?"

Dash blinked in surprise. It wasn't like her mentor to ask such a thing. It almost felt like a foal asking her parents to sleep with them after having a bad nightmare. No, actually, it was more like the other way around. That was even more worrying than the description of the dream itself. Nevertheless, Dash laughed it off and gave Zecora a playful punch on the shoulder. "Hey, of course. I guess that's sort of in my job description now, anyway, so stick around as long as you need to." Besides, even if Ponyville kept up its streak of being sloppy with Winter Wrap-Up, they'd still get it taken care of in a couple of days and then there'd be no threat of eternal winter or anything of the sort.

Still, Dash was starting to think that it wouldn't hurt if she volunteered to pitch in this year. A show of solidarity with her new community.

-----

They are gathering now. I can see the glow of their bodies through the clouds. Feel the warmth of their hearts burning against my skin even now. And the six-who-are-one burn the most painfully. The Elements of Harmony no longer belong to the Sun and Moon, but to these little ponies congregating in the center of town to bring back the Spring.

They must be stopped.

I will freeze them. Mind, body and soul. I will snuff out the flames of their hearts, seize the Elements, and take back the throne of Winter before they can awaken Spring.

They will never take it from me again. I will see this world encased in ice before they do.

#1 · 106w, 1d ago · · ·

So, here's my first attempt at an MLP fic. Even if you skipped over the tags and description, you can probably tell by now that this is an Alternate Universe story, and the Mane 6 have had dramatically different lives both before and after becoming the bearers of the Elements of Harmony.

Chronologically, this story takes place a few months after they gained the Elements and saved Equestria. There are plans for a story that covers this period, but I just didn't want to kick off my first fic with what would basically be a re-write of the Nightmare Moon arc. Here are a few details that will help to fill in some of the gaps:

* The Mane 6 never fought Nightmare Moon. Instead, the villain who kicked everything off was a body-hopping spirit named Eclipse who caused Princess Luna to fall into a thousand-year coma and waged war on Equestria for ten years before Princess Celestia was able to trap it.

* Nightmare Night is replaced by Waking Night. Instead of disguising themselves to hide from Luna's evil alter ego, ponies would dress up and carouse loudly on the anniversary of Luna's fall in the hopes of waking her from her slumber. It was on Waking Night that the Mane 6 first met and faced Eclipse.

As for how the Mane 6 and their experiences are different, I'll get more into that as the story progresses, but this chapter should provide enough clues to get you started.

I'd like to take a moment to recognize and thank defender2222 for the inspiration for this alternate version of the Mane 6, RainbowDoubleDash for creating one of the most comprehensively awesome AU continuities with the Lunaverse, and all the fans who create the quality content that make being a brony worth it.

Also, I swear on Celestia's horn that I started developing this concept before I ever knew about notMurphy's "A Minor Variation". Any similarities are purely coincidental, but if you like this concept, go check that story out as well: link

#2 · 106w, 1d ago · · ·

Well, I do have to say, you've caught my interest with this story.  And if defender2222 has helped you out on writing this, then I know it's going to be good (seriously, I love Faith and Doubt and The Abundence).  And don't worry, so far this doesn't seem anything like "A Minor Variation", other than the fact that Rarity also has Spike and Pinkie is still Pinkamena.  Anyway, congrats on getting this started, and hope to see an update soon.

#3 · 106w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

You got my interested with the idea of a Rainboomless AU, yet we still have the Main 6 saving the day. I like how you've written each of them, it still feels in keeping with who they are in the real FiM'verse yet still not just the same characters over again. This one is getting a star and I'm looking forward to reading more.

#4 · 106w, 21h ago · · ·

Liking it so far.  Especially Business Mare Applejack.

>>1584769

Yeah.  I like that idea of a AU like that too.

#5 · 105w, 6d ago · · ·

So, Pinkie is Pinkamena, is a poet, and best friends with high class and apparently quite wealthy Applejack.

You got my attention with just that. I will be favoriting! :pinkiecrazy:

#6 · 105w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1583487>>1584769>>1585795>>1592781

Thanks for the kind words and favorites, all of you. I'll certainly try to live up to that early vote of confidence. I'm also glad for those who like Poet Pinkamena and Businessmare Applejack, because so far they're the trickiest to write for while keeping them recognizably connected to their canon incarnations. In particular, I can't tell you how hard it is to write AJ without her trademark accent.

:ajbemused: Ah ain't got no ack-cent!

Sure you don't...

#7 · 105w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1593172

I just in general like AUs where Applejack is a businessmare....and not a complete ass about .  That alone made me love this and want to keep reading.

#8 · 105w, 4d ago · · ·

Got a lot of work done on Chapter 2 this weekend, so I'll try to have it posted in a few days. Two words: Musical number!

And for those who didn't run away at that last sentence, who wants to play a round of "Name That Element"? I know clues are scarce with just one chapter for examples, but I'm interested in seeing what people might guess.

#9 · 105w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1593172 If you ever need an extra set of eyes or a sounding board, feel free to ping me. I've not done any FiM Fic, but I've done quite a bit of my own work.

#10 · 104w, 5d ago · · ·

Heya! It's me, HyuugaLord19 from Writing.com!

I will track this story with great interest. Let's see where this goes...

#11 · 104w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

One chapter in and I'm impressed. Ok... so Poet Pinkie, Farmer Rarity, Businessmare AJ, Military Twilight, "Alchemist" Rainbow, not sure about Fluttershy yet.

#12 · 104w, 5d ago · · ·

Interesting beginning; I'm now intensely curious about how Rainbow Dash came to be Zecora's Padawan student. :twilightsmile: Keep up the good work!

#13 · 104w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1638797 Thanks, and in Fluttershy's case, she's in the confidence-building line of work alongside Iron Will with the two of them doing seminars and writing books as a duo. Of course, that's not to say she's :flutterrage: all the time.

>>1638801 I appreciate the compliment, and I won't get too deep into specifics here, but I can tell you that Dash's cutie mark is a clue. :twilightblush:

#14 · 95w, 2d ago · · ·

Love it. I was hoping some one would take this idea and run with it and you have done so perfectly, hitting nearly every idea I had, both mentioned and not.

Not quite part of the Scootaverse (obviously, since it is an Alternate Universe) but it belongs to the family none the less.

-defender2222 approved (I totally need to make a stamp saying that)

#15 · 95w, 2d ago · · ·

Damn......This, was, very, very, VERY well written. HOLY BUCK this was amazing, although confusing but then again it is AU....so have Celestia and Luna faded now? Being Gods? Or are they still alive? Also, do the Windigoes count as Winter Gods?  Wow...I....I have to read more:yay:

#16 · 95w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

One thing that I am enjoying going into this fic, is that it already assumes that the reader knows the story of how the mane 6 united and came to be. This allows us to jump into the action and gets the story moving; however, at the same time it opens up a whole slew of mysteries that makes the reader want to continue reading

#17 · 52w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

Once Captain Twilight showed up in Crisis I knew that I had to read this eventually, and the time has come.

Nice alternative version of the mane six, definitely pulls me in and makes me want to read more.

#18 · 52w, 3d ago · · ·

Is Rainbow a Jedi?

#19 · 48w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Rarity is a (rock) farmer and is caring for Spike?

Applejack is a businessmare?

Pinkamena (who never became Pinkie Pie) is one of those 'coffee shop poets'?

Twilight is a lieutenant of some sort?

Fluttershy is married to Iron Will??

Rainbow Dash is Zecora's student???

I'm sure this will be an interesting story once you are done with this one.  I'll continue to read to see where this goes.

#20 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

Nice start, and can't wait to read more.

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