The Cutie Mark Crusaders have a wonderful idea. An idea that quite possibly no foal DARED to try... Space travel!
Maybe it could have been a good idea... Maybe it could have gone off without anything going wrong... That WAS until they met little green men in space...
Who knows if this will indeed be the Cutie Mark Crusader's Final Frontier...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This is my first fanfiction everypony! I know its probably not the greatest, so tips on writing, edits, and ideas would be greatly appreciated!
Well not having read it yet, I see by the descrption and cover art what you're writing about, and it will probibliy the same as mine I made a long time ago, same cover art and everything, but your's will most likely be better than mine, even though our first story had the same premise.
1570498 what a coincidence XD. I dont read many fanfictions lol. Ill read yours though to make sure I dont copy
1570526 never heard of them lol. Where is it so i can look it up XD. My social life cant get any worse
1570508 I don't really mind you copying, in fact I can give you some ideas that I was going to put in mine, but the story hasn't had any updates after I realesed it, so yeah, I'm a slow updater even though I do weekly updates on my other stories lol.
1570543 hahah I have a pretty good idea of what this story is gonna be about now lol. I had some free time in class, so I drew an outline of my story. I just need the critisism and feedback now :D
im not going to copy though
1570560 Okay, I'll be with you the whole way. (wow that is so creepy on my end and most likely yours)
1570574 what?
I just read a dark fic. Why? Because Im an idiot who hates dark but reads anything someone recommends. I will now end the night with your fic. Thank you for writing a happy fic.
1570585 Well my story is a dark one but only because mine will include themes like dark matter and space madness with Spike
For a first fanfic, I have to say that the writing seems pretty solid.
So many authors just blunder through on their first fic without even trying to bother with grammar, punctuation, and so on... 
Constructive commentary ahoy:
a)You seriously should re-write that synopsis to the story. The overuse of "..." and of capitals just seem distracting. Also, there's no reason why that couldn't be just two paragraphs. As well, be sure to watch out of the formatting rule that: "to try... Space travel!" should be "to try... space travel!"
b)There's a lot of dry, descriptive language here. "He was", "she was", "it was", and so on just serve to create distance with the characters. Like compare "Sweetie Belle was trying to get her friend’s attention from a distance, but she was mesmerized by Rainbow Dash." with "Sweetie Belle tried to get her friend’s attention from a distance, but she felt mesmerized by Rainbow Dash."
c) Space out the paragraphs! The empty space is so much easier on the eyes. Otherwise, you get 'wall of text' syndrome.
d) Try to expand out the motivations-- the thoughts behind why they do what they do. How exactly were they interested in space travel beforehand (er, beforehoof)? What is the normal Equestrian space program like? The writing is okay, but it has a sort of 'thin' feeling. Details!
And... well, I don't know, I'm getting off the site in a moment. This seems nice, so keep working on it.
1570585 haha no problem
1570632 Thanks for the critisism
Really! It helps me out! Ill edit it soon!
just one thing though, what do you mean by letter c?
1570704
Spacing!
By that I mean have:
"Hey, Thomas," Dash remarked, her ears flipping forwards as she felt emotions rippling through her, "do you have your guitar yet?"
"Just one sec!" Thomas retorted, looking up from inside the van. He let out a long sigh as he failed to spot his Les Paul anywhere. Oh, gosh, did Twilight nab it to try some jams herself? He folded his arms together.
"Dash, dash!" Roseluck yelled out in the distance, the mare running over in top speed. The pegasus and her boyfriend looked over, mouths open. They couldn't believe the amazing surprise that Roseluck had on her back.
And don't have:
"Hey, Thomas," Dash remarked, her ears flipping forwards as she felt emotions rippling through her, "do you have your guitar yet?"
"Just one sec!" Thomas retorted, looking up from inside the van. He let out a long sigh as he failed to spot his Les Paul anywhere. Oh, gosh, did Twilight nab it to try some jams herself? He folded his arms together.
"Dash, dash!" Roseluck yelled out in the distance, the mare running over in top speed. The pegasus and her boyfriend looked over, mouths open. They couldn't believe the amazing surprise that Roseluck had on her back.
1570730 o ok! Thanks
Ok everypony, just got through some major edits
heh heh heh... I had to modify the description a little bit to fit the next chapter. It will be coming soon!
I would greatly appreciate edits and things like that on the new chapter! Its hard for me to see through my recently cracked screen, and its hard for me to see a lot of things on it.
Thank you!