CHAPTER 36
"... And there we go! Hey, Dashie, everything in the living room is done! How're you holding up?"
I heard her chuckling, and before I knew it, she was hovering right in front of my face. "Done! Have been for the past five minutes. Hehehe..."
I chuckled at her a bit, and then flicked her on the nose. "Why am I not surprised? You are the 'Fastest in Equestria.' Self proclaimed, of course." I shot her an evil grin.
Dashie puffed out her cheeks and glared at me. "Hey!"
I stuck my tongue out at her, and went to put away all of the decorations. I looked at our handiwork. Nothing was too girly, but nothing was too boyish either. Perfect for a tomboy's birthday. I smiled when I imagined Scoots' reaction, and put the last of the decorations in the closet next to the kitchen.
"This is gonna rock! It feels good getting to give my own kid a nice birthday. My mum never threw me any birthday parties..."
I stopped myself right there. I didn't need to be thinking depressing thoughts when my own daughter's birthday is right around the corner. Dashie and I had been working since we woke up that morning. I was wondering how her sleepover with Apple Bloom went.
"They better not have done anything too crazy... Oh who am I kidding? I'd probably end up being proud of her anyways... Hmmm... Not sure if irresponsible, or supportive. Ah, whatever... Hm. Apple Bloom's coming too. I bet she'll flip when she first starts walking on clouds. Hehehe..."
Dashie nudged me in the side. I blinked, and shook my head. "Uh... Yeah, Dashie?"
"You looked like you were pretty out of it. Something on your mind?"
I chuckled a bit. "Nah, just wondering how Apple Bloom is gonna react when she sets hoof on a cloud. That's all."
Dashie giggled a bit, and then plopped down on the couch. "I'm pooped."
I sat down too. "Yeah... I'm bored now. Whaddya wanna do until Scoots gets here?"
Dashie leaned in on me a little bit, and looked up at me. "Oh, I have an idea..."
I grinned. "Here, or the bedroom?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(One Hour Later)
I pulled my jeans back up, and buttoned them. "Well, that was fun."
Dashie rolled out of bed. "I'll say..."
And just then, I heard the door open. Good timing.
"Mom? Dad? I'm here!"
"Wow... Ah'm really walkin' on a cloud! This's amazin'!" I let out a small chuckle.
"I knew it..."
I headed down the stairs, and gave Apple Bloom a small wave, and ruffled Scoots' hair. "Happy birthday, kiddo!"
Scoots giggled, and pushed my hand away. "Dad, not in front of my marefriend..."
I let out a goofy laugh, and grinned like a complete moron. "Oh man... My little Scoots is growing up. So, when's the wedding?"
Apple Bloom blushed, and looked away, and Scoots furrowed her brow and glared at me.
"Dad~!"
Evil grin: Activated. "Hehehe... Relax, I'm just messin' with ya'! Now then... What do you want to do? Do you just want to stay here and do something, or go out?"
Scoots rubbed the back of her head, and grinned sheepishly. "Well... I was kinda hoping I could have another sleepover... Here..."
I crossed my arms, and put on my serious face. "Now young lady, I cannot allow that..." Scoots scrunched her face up in a mixture of anger and sadness. "Oh who am I kidding? Just don't go doing anything stupid, and I'm fine with it!" And, she's happy again.
"Oh, how I love to troll my own family... I'm terrible."
"So Ah' c'n stay th' night? In a cloud house?" I nodded. "Awesome!"
Dashie leaned in on my leg, and looked up at me, smiling. I rubbed her head a little bit.
Apple Bloom looked around a little bit. She looked like a lost dog. She didn't really know what to do, so I made a suggestion.
"How about you two go up to Scoots' room? Dashie and I have a bit of reading to catch up on." The Daring Do series is absolutely amazing. It really reminded me of Indiana Jones.
"I wonder if Daring is still alive... Or if she's even real, for that matter."
Scoots and Apple Bloom smiled, and ran up the stairs, both giggling like schoolgirls... Well, they are schoolgirls, so I can't blame them.
"So! Dashie, where'd you put the books?" I stood over the coffee table, and started pushing a bunch of stuff off of it, and of course, the books were strewn out across the table. "We really need to start cleaning this place more often."
"Ah, who cares? It's fine. We found 'em, didn't we?" I sat down, and grinned at her.
"Good point... Now, where was I? Ah, yes..." I mumbled under my breath as I read, not very concerned with what was going on upstairs.
"If I hear moaning up there, they're in trouble. Well, as long as they keep it down..."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(A Few Hours Later)
I closed the book, and rubbed my eyes.
"Hours of non-stop reading... Oh me eyes... Why did I think that would be a good idea?"
I looked over at Dashie, and she was sound asleep.
"Why did I see that coming?"
I looked at the clock on the stand next to me. 10:32pm. It was getting a little late.
"I guess I should say goodnight to the girls. I hope they had fun, but sadly, I can't join them in their little all-nighter, because I'm beat."
I slowly walked up the stairs, a dull tenseness in my knees. Of course, my knees decide to act up when I'm climbing the stairs.
"Sometimes, I think there's some higher power out there, writing all of this out, laughing as he torments me."
Somewhere, a certain pink mare laughed at the sheer disregard to what's left of the fourth wall.
"Ugh..." When I reached the top, I kicked my legs a little bit, to work the kinks out. "Not... Fun..." I shook my head a little bit, and walked over to Scoots' room, and opened the door.
"Hey girls, I just wanted to say goodni-" I stopped mid-sentence, and looked at them. They both had magazines in their hands... But not just any magazines.
"Wingboner Illustrated... Oh. My. Goddesses."
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU TWO THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" I felt my face turning red, but it wasn't from anger... That cover image... Oh goodness.
Scoots' mind finally registered that I was there, and she started freaking out, and tried to hide the magazine. "Dad! Uh- We were just- Um- I... I... I can explain!"
I crossed my arms, and started tapping my foot. "You better get started then..."
Apple Bloom tossed her magazine under the bed, and looked up to me, her cheeks as red as her mane. "Well... We was just... Uh... Ah'... Well..."
I shook my head, and rubbed my face with both hands. "You were both looking at porn." They both nodded.
"In Scoots' bedroom." They nodded again.
"And you're both dating." They half-nodded, and then looked at each other, their faces getting even redder.
Scoots stuttered as she tried to comprehend what I was thinking. "W-Wait, you mean you- But we... NO!"
Apple Bloom just shook her head violently, saying "no" over and over again.
I sighed, and cracked my neck to calm down. "Alright... Well... If you two are just gonna..." I cleared my throat. "'Read...' Then I'm just gonna go to bed. Don't... Oh, you know what I'm gonna say."
They both slowly nodded, but their faces stayed red. I closed the door, and was met by Dashie in the hallway. I must have woken her up.
(Stop the music)
"What's with all the yelling, Kyle?"
I shrugged. "Oh, nothing, I just walked in on Scoots' and Apple Bloom looking at porn."
Dashie's eyes widened, and she slowly turned around to head to our bedroom, but looked back at us.
"They weren't planning on... You know..."
I shook my head. "No, and I told them not to."
"OK, good... Lets go to bed."
I nodded, and sighed. "Yeah..."
"Today's been a long day... Again, I think there's someone out there controlling all of this, and he's getting a sick kick out of tormenting me."
And again, a certain pink mare giggled at the tears forming in the fourth wall, which now consists of duct-tape.
Well, that was fun. Now then... I'm thinking of either the next chapter, or the chapter after being another "Case Chapter." What do you guys think? My urge to write it is overwhelming...
Some errors I spotted:
"Hours of non-stop reading... Oh me eyes... Why did I think that would be a good idea?"
"I can't join them in there little all-nighter, because I'm beat."
Aaaaand the fourth wall ceases to exist. Great goin
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH!!! MAN!!!! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Dude! Where do you come UP with this shit? Does Pinkie Pie go around the different dimensions giving you ideas or something?! Dude that was freaking hilarious! Oh man... Nice one though!
~Parajack
I see what you did there.
Next for that case!
MICROWAVABLE PORN
that song....my java decided to die...and now its freaking stuck...and no amount of music cna ever get it out of my mind
well then.... i have planning to do
-one day later, in a mobile floating insane asylum above the pacific-
me: im not cwazy! IM NOT CWAZY! -attacks a guard- MSAKE THE MUSIC GO AWAYYY!!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
-jumps overboard, and swims to shore, and goes on an insane asylum freeing spree-
Another case would be good. Then again,
Another Pinkie outside the Comp.
Would be interesting as well.
May the once mighty 4th wall rest in pieces.
actually
May it rest in ashes.
Let me just get mah C12 and napalm.
Duct tape solves everything!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PERFECT MUSIC HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, that was REALLY funny!!!! i literally laughed my ass off, they're putting it back on tomorrow.
320428... and there goes the fourth wall...
YAY for funny chapters! Thanks man!
Duct tape is remarkably strong.
320355
Actually, the "me" was on purpose. People talk like that... Just not in the US. I happen to speak like that. Saying "me" instead of "my." As for that other one... Why do I write in the dark...?
More case chapters, but not mock trials, real trials!
320470 Duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the world together.
Great chapter, the song choice though was....... interesting.
320517
Oh, it'll be real alright...
That was funny... but if they were caught with a dildo, that would be unbearably hilarious
OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY Scoots you you...huff Dont give me that look. naughty little filly!
Dammit Kyle, destroying the fourth wall is my job!
-Glassed
Here lies the 4th Wall
May his/her/it(?) soul R.I.P.
OT: yay, another case chapter
Dat sex part Nrhmmm
~Jack
i actually have duct tape holding my car together, my bed up, and it's patching a hole in my water heater.
now if only i could get it to work on Windows OS...
320541 no! No. God no....
If what I think I know that you know, I know, is right. Then I know that you know that its knowingly wrong, with all known knowlegde! Which leads me to know that you know that I know its wrong that I know what you know is wrong.....
Is that wrong?
320818 Maybe U may know but I dont know!
320844 ah... But knowing is half the battle! And if you know what I know, Then you know that I know that you know, that knowing is half the battle, without knowingly knowing that I know that you knowthat!
Makes perfect sense, when you know it...yes?
Who used my duct tape to fix the 4th wall?
320930 Oh now I know! And yes1 All the clues are coming together ! finally Understand! [I think ]
And this is why I don't sleep.
THIS! God this was amazing. These last few chapters of yours have been totally awesome! I need moar!
320522 you got that one right
320950 ......................... *hides empty roll behind his back*
nothing to see here
You know I don't think we've ever had a human female in Equestria fic it's always been males so maybe a mishap that makes Dash human would be good and at the same time leave Kyle in the uncomfortable position of explain the differences between a mare and woman. Buuuut that would be in two chapters next chapter should be case trial cause PW = Kyle Bucy.
320774 ...If you count QBasic .BAS scripts as 'Duct Tape', then I'm using Duct Tape to hold my Windows Install together right now. :3
EDIT: Also, Naughty Scoots and Applebloom. Wait'll AJ hears about this! :3
you keep hurting the fourth wall and it will eventually break, then all hell will break lose.
(on an unrelated note: duck tape is strong as @#$%)
320541
"As of late, there has been a rumor going arund that since of the official air of the show 'My Little Pony Friendship is Magic' the fourth wall has had over 9000 breaches, another rumor that all the breaches has reduced the fourth wall to almost all Duct tape; a very bad sign for the show folks."
up at 1:24 and you have me lol'ing so hard
i305.photobucket.com/albums/nn207/Xanadu93/IMG_1358.jpg
321895 *sigh* it looks like we have to fix the wall or no more My little Pony or Reality. *gets 4th Wall bricks, reinforced 4th Wall cement and Iron Plates* hmm... could be worse. The Wall could be reduced to Paper and Clue. Someone should build a Automatic cupcake production maschine to distract Pinkie.
320512 Hey and in the begining there was noting instead of nothing
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
yay for happy music and rage part! Duckt tape is almost next strongest thing in the universe (nokia is the stongest)
"started pushing a bunch of stuff off of it, and of course, the books were strewn out across the table." basically my table ---> full of sh't and only i know where something is when it's needed. And i call it organized chaos.
Mythbusters made a bridge and a boat out of duckt tape. Also my belt is reinforced with it
Dude, duct tape fixes everything, just ask Chuck Greene. We could probably fix the hole in the ozone layer with it.
322080 wake anyfamily up (unless you don't live with family)
also really scoots porn there also THE GAME
322080
I shouted that when I left school today, and got some weird looks.
Scoots+Bloomster+Porn= what the hell!? I'm thanking the Gods you didn't specify anything.
320951 *eye twitch* Ugh....this is confusing, almost to the point of...
SNAP
Umm...That can't be goo-
LikE My BRaiN JusT ExPlodED wiTH PARtIEs!!!!!....
I dunno, duct tape is pretty sturdy...
The fourth wall is now UNBREAKABLE!!!! It's made of duct tape, the strongest material known to man.
I liked how he was so burnt from reading for 3 hours. I have been reading this series of stories since 10am. It is 10pm now. Lol.. CONFOUND THESE PONIES, THEY DRIVE ME TO READING!@!
"What's with all the yelling, Kyle?"
I shrugged. "Oh, nothing, I just walked in on Scoots' and Apple Bloom looking at porn."
Parent of the year.
The Fourth Wall is much like the Pirates' Code. It's not really a set of rules, it's more a set of ... guidelines.