CHAPTER 16
No, Pinkie, get back in the computer!
But I don't wanna!
DANGIT PINKIE! YOU'RE TEARING THE FOURTH WALL APART BEING HERE!
So? Who needs that silly wall anyways?
You're going back in there, and there's nothing you can do about it!
That is, IF YOU CAN CATCH ME!
No! Pinkie! GET BACK HERE YOU!
CRASH. SLAM. SMASH.
Ugh... Oh. Uh... You're all here... Well... BACK TO THE STORY!
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"Sugarcube Corner. SANCTUARY."
GRUMBLE.
I grabbed my stomach. I hadn't eaten all day, and Sugarcube Corner was the only place I knew with those awesome banana nut muffins. "Forget healthy eating, I'm hungry." I walked inside, and was met with the rushing pink blur that is Pinkie Pie.
"Hi Kyle! I haven't seen you in a while! How've you been? Oh, wait, don't tell me! Lemme guess-"
"Hi Pinkie. I've been good. Sorry I haven't hung out with you girls lately, I've just been hanging out, getting reacquainted with everything. A lot has changed in..." I looked behind her, and saw two young foals, probably around five years old. "Oh my goodness... THEY'RE ALL GROWN UP!" I walked over to them, and without a doubt, it was Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake. "Pumpkin! Pound! YOU'RE BOTH SO CUTE!" I picked them up and gave them a big hug. I'd met them a few weeks before my wedding.
"Uncle Kyle?" Pound tilted his head.
"Yep! I'm back, kids! I haven't seen you two in a while. Sheesh, you're both getting so big! I can hardly recognize you both! I remember when you were in diapers..." Then, a magic zipper showed up on my mouth.
"Don't talk about that! We're big ponies now!" Pumpkin was getting even better at magic. I still have no idea how they got their talents so young. The zipper disappeared, and I grinned like an idiot.
"Alright, alright. You kids go off and play. Pinkie? Can I get a couple banana nut muffins?"
"Okie-Dokie-Lokie!"
"Speaking of muffins, where the heck has Derpy been? I haven't seen her in my entire time back."
"She's off with that Doctor Whooves guy! He's kinda weird, but she really likes him."
"Yeah, that would make sense. I just hope she doesn't get hurt. Who KNOWS where they're going." I could think of a few things, but I knew that I could only think of a microscopic portion of where The Doctor would take her.
"Here're you're muffins! Don't worry, they're on the house. Or, on me. Why would muffins be on the house anyways? They wouldn't be very yummy like that..." I had to resist the urge to facepalm.
"Alright, Pinkie, I'll see you later." She waved to me as I walked away. I decided it would be nice to eat in the park, which was thankfully nearby. That's how it is with Ponyville, everything seems so close together.
I sat down on my favorite bench, and took a minute to look at the scenery. "So peaceful..." I started munching on a muffin, when all of a sudden, a familiar yellow filly was standing in front of me.
"Oh, hey Divine."
"Hi Kyle!" she hopped up onto the bench next to me. I reached into my baggie and pulled out the other muffin.
"Want it?" She nodded, and I tossed it to her. She practically inhaled the thing. "What're you doing here all by yourself, anyways?"
"Daddy's over there, talking with Mommy."
"Ah. That makes more sense. I thought I'd have to drag you home! Heh." Then, I felt a sharp blow to the side of my head. "ACK!" A bunny was latched onto my head, and was kicking me.
"GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!"
"Pavlov! No! Bad bunny!" Divine pulled him off of me. It was her insane pet again.
"That thing wants me dead! Why can't he be more like Angel?"
"He'll stop attacking you if you talk to him, you know." I turned around to locate the pony who said that, and it was Zeph, and he had Spits with him.
"... Really? OK. Pavlov, I'd really like it if you'd stop attacking me. If it's about Divine, I'm not going to hurt her." He stared at me for a second, but then nodded. Divine giggled and started rubbing the brown patch of fur on his stomach, which he seemed to love.
"So, what're you doing here today, Kyle?" Zeph took a seat next to me. The bench was getting full, so Spits just leaned up against a tree.
"I was eating my breakfast... Lunch... I don't know. I was eating my food. Then Divine came along, and then I was assaulted by a bunny. What an interesting day." I shrugged. I've had weirder things happen.
"So, I see Divine found you. Reminds me of when I was younger and I worshiped the captain of the Wonderbolts from then." Spits smiled a bit, and I decided that it was time for me to go, before we get into the whole "reminisce with the past" thing.
"Alright, well, I'm just gonna go. See you guys later." I hopped back up, and gave everypony a wave... And Divine almost lost her arm waving back. Fans...
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"... So, Pumpkin, Pound, I'm assuming you're both in school now." I'd gone back to Sugarcube Corner. The cute was too strong to withstand, I HAD to see those two again.
"Yeah! We're having a show and tell tomorrow, but we don't have anything to show." Pound hung his head dejectedly.
"We were thinking of showing Auntie Pinkie, but Mrs. Cherilee said she isn't allowed on school property anymore." I could imagine why... "Wait... What if we show you?" They both beamed at me, but then they looked at each other. "Wait... We need something for each of us..." Pumpkin grabbed my hand. "I'M SHOWING HIM!"
Pound grabbed my other hand. "NO! I AM!"
"NO! I AM!" Ow.
"I AM!" My arm...
"NO! HE'S MINE!" This is really starting to hurt...
"GIMME!" PAIN.
I yanked myself away from both of them. "HOLD IT!" They both fell flat on their flanks. "I have a human friend, you can show him AND me." They smiled like maniacs.
"What have I gotten myself into..."
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(THE NEXT DAY)
"Kyle, where are these kids taking us?" Vince was following us to the school.
"Show and tell. We're more or less going to tell the class about human life and culture and stuff like that." I shrugged.
"Ah. I see... Well, this ought to be interesting." We stopped outside of the school, and Mrs. Cherilee came out, and she smiled when she saw me and Vince.
"Oh! Pumpkin and Pound brought you two for show and tell! This will be very educational for the kids. I've actually been meaning to ask you, Kyle, to come in, but I can never find you."
I stuck my hands in my pockets. "I'm sorta like a wild card. I never do the same thing every day. I'm just all over the place." She nodded, understanding what I meant.
"I was like that in college. Well! Come in, please." We walked in, and I looked over the class. I didn't recognize any of the kids, but they all smiled when they saw me. One of them was wearing a hat that looked a lot like mine. "Oh no. I think they may recognize me. Oh well, who cares. I'm gonna get the pony who made my outfit into a fashion line..." I immediately thought of Rarity. "Oh, she's in for it..."
"Children! I have two special guest speakers today, thanks to Pumpkin and Pound Cake. We have Kyle, and..." She rubbed her head trying to think of Vince's name.
"My name's Dr. Owen Vincent Brahms. Just call me Vince. So, you kids want to know about humans, right?" They all nodded. They actually seemed interested in learning. I felt like I was going to fall asleep just from being in the school building... "Well, as you can probably tell, we're bipedal, and we don't have a coat, mane, or tail."
"That's because we evolved from apes. At least, that's the theory. Nobody knows, really." I shrugged. "But, that's just how we look. When it comes to the way we live... It's completely different from here. First off, we don't have magic." The entire class gasped. "Yeah, I know, crazy, huh? We use technology to get by. We use machines to farm, to make food, and do practically anything, even predict the weather." A kid raised his hand. "Yeah?"
"What do you mean, 'predict?' Don't you mean to control it?" I laughed and shook my head.
"Nope! The weather works on its own where we're from. And different human societies don't just help each other all the time either. We have wars a LOT." Another gasp from the class. "Why, there was a war going on when I ended up here." Vince nudged me in the side, and gave me a look that said I should change the subject. "Heh... B-But enough about that. Any other questions?" Another kid raised her hand. "You?"
"Do humans have Cutie Marks?"
"No, we don't. We actually develop our talents over time, we aren't born with them. And most humans have more than one talent. However, we can get something similar to a Cutie Mark put on us by another person. They're called 'Tattoos.' it's like writing or drawing, but on skin. There's all sorts of them, too. There are just the regular ones, like skulls or flowers, and then there are ones of faces of people you love, and then there are tramp stamps-" OH CRUD.
"What's a 'tramp stamp?'" The kid looked so innocent as he said that... I almost slapped myself.
"Er... Well... You see... Uh..." I spoke out of the corner of my mouth. "Vincehelpmeouthere." He facepalmed.
"It's nothing important, lets change the subject."
I smiled, and muttered under my breath. "Bullet dodged." A kid heard me.
"What's a bullet?" D'OH!
"Ugh, it's nothing. Vince?"
"Alright, now I'm going to tell you all a wonderful tale of something I like to call, nanotechnology." Oh no...
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All the kids were asleep. No, seriously. Two of them were drooling. I almost fell asleep too. Vince would NOT SHUT UP.
"... And that's how nanotechnology works. Any questio- You're all asleep. Great."
"You should have seen that coming. Mrs. Cherilee, I think we'll just- She's asleep too. Wow. Bravo, Vince. Bonne passe." Heh, I remembered a little French.
"What?"
"Vous voulez dire que vous ne parlez pas français?"
"Ugh..." I laughed a little bit.
"I'm messing with you. Ne vous inquiétez pas." Trollface.jpg. "Hey, I'm gonna head home... That was... Interesting. See you later Vince."
"Seeya man." I flew off.
Interesting day, no?
Oh come on! Nanotechnology is incredibly interesting!!! Almost everything changes when you start engineering chemicals at a molecular level. The properties of materials are totally different! Aluminum is explosive, gold is really red, and when carbon atoms are arranged correctly and then compressed, they can be more than twice as hard as diamond! And furthemore... *drones on for 45 min* ... you see?
...
Everyone's asleep again.
178114
Blah...blah blah... Blah... Zzz.
Good chapter though. Silly kids. They always do those random things.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.... huh w-what did I miss?
178114
I can't blame them, you ramble on for what felt like 2 hours
Btw I just woke up
Heheh, who finds the reference for Divine's pet bunny?
Also, nanotechnology is interesting. Just drink enough alcohol and you will really enjoy it!
*face smacks on keyboard*
gaszi;gsaj'igjasifgjsaduhwrfiasjwur9ia9[igawo]friksa-f]0w r9ar war8a=r7ua=wf9iasfua9sfuaf9uafuasf9ua
*wakes up UH what*
178114 you had me at explosiive
*gets to the part about nanotech*
Oh no, not again...
Zzz... wha.. huh? What happened? Oh ehm... Nice chapter
-Glassed
few "bullet Dodged" hes lucky hes got vince to bore them to sleep
YAY!
Pinkie literally destroyed the 4th wall.
Just like normal day at school always is: go --> sleep --> come home --> repeat
178114
You got that right. I am the ONLY person in my class thats even REMOTELY interested by chemistry OR technology. And me personally i am EXTREMELY interested. It bucking sucks not being able to share it!
178114 ZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzz *snork* "sorry whgat?"
178224
At last! I finally get to meet a fellow academic brony!
It is a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance.
HAHAHAHAHA I like this! But on a molecular scale I would assume the rest of the class would not be interested. Perhaps we should talk about Marshmallows?
*drools all over keyboard*ZAP!GAHH! IM AWAKE!
178114 yeah droning in monotone is what causes sleep *monotones for 45 minutes* damn it I monotoned see it does put you to sleep.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... *mutters something about a good chapter*
Lol Pinkie is so random Great job on the story.. i'm finally up to date
Cheerilee should try to remember to invite Vince back if she needs to force another naptime.
Kyle can you please just go has sexy time
178114 I didn't fall asleep, you actually got me interested when you said aluminum was explosive.
178224 wow I'm just like that I mostly focus on things like the possibility of inter dimensional travel and things that can't be disproven so it intrigues me also molecular and technological science is quite interesting so you my good sir get a mustache
178510You lost me at focus
178615
your focus........... needs more focus
Ok...I caught half of that before I passed out....I think he something about.....Or did he....I guess I caught none of it before I passed out....But uh good chapter....I think..*whipsers to pony next to me* Did I say the right thing?
ZZZ-ZZZ-ZZZ....
zzzzzz....zzzz...nice...chrapter...zzzzzz *plops over snoozing*
Damn it Doctor why can't your TARDIS do anything right. Anyways, I'm here with Fluttershy and Doctor Whooves in which Fluttershy appears to have traveled with both Omnius and the Doctor. Fluttershy? How many ponies have you traveled with? (Fluttershy: About 5 (Me: Care to name them (Fluttershy: You'll find out (Me:Dammit I hate suprises. So Whooves and Omnius. 3 to go. Anyways love this random chapter and love the fact that you dodged two bullets so (Doctor: Uhm excuse me may I type something (Me: As long as you promise to let me stay in Ponyville. (Doctor: Why aren't you ponies interested in nanotechnology. See it's actually quite interesting. <starts rambling>. (Me: doctor Doctor DOCTOR. Shut up before you bore anyone to sleep. Anyways good chapter... Doctor? What are you looking at? (Doctor: Weeping Angel. (Me: OH COME ON!!!
178269 you two arent the only ones
hey wait. there is three of us... CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS
dam it my translator software wont work fuck you windows or whatevers suposed to translate this shit on command like come on!
Reminds me back in High School with our Biology teacher and his monotone voice teaching us plants... good nap though in his lessons
why you no tell them about bullets
bullets are fun
not as fun as c4 but still
fun
178114
you live up to your name, don't you?
You didn't actually include any nanotech stuff? But why?
179798
I try.
they dont know what bullets are? they mentioned bullets in the show!
179953
You know... You're right! And how about tanks? Tanks are connected to war!
Wars - strike one
Tramp stamps - strike two
Bullets - strike three
If I was vince I would have smacked him right there and then
179953 I agree with you, there should know about bullets
180061 This, I don't agree with, I can imagine that they are used only as a threat, never used on anybody (like the guards have swords: doubt they ever have stabbed anyone)
also a tank can be "A large receptacle or storage chamber, esp. for liquid or gas." as well as a war tank
178269
I'm happy to find someone else interested in what i am interested in.
I hope this will be the start of a nice friendship.
Nice to meet you, friend!
Actually, humans develop their talents over time, they aren't born with them...
"Says who?"
presentermedia.com/files/animsp/00001000/1866/stick_figure_superhero_fly_anim_md_wm.gif
ntgyhujikhygttfyhuji8kmhytgfryhujndefr6tgyhuhjkuijkloij....
What? What happened?
... *sees drool on keyboard*
Crap...
Actually, nanotechnology is really interesting.
179174 four
*snore* *mumbles* VINCE! Moron... your BORING! You... *snore*
Wait....Dr.... Brahms? A Dr. Brahms, interested in Technology. ..... I don't suppose, and this may just be me seeing a reference where one wasn't intended, but....I don't suppose he has any family members named 'Leah', does he....? @@
I have no idea what that french said....Oh well get a french chick to teach me later....in her french maid outfit :3
I'm sorry, but it bothers me when I see someone say that the theory is that we evolved from apes. No, that is not the theory. The theory is that we share a common ancestor with apes. Anyway, great chapter.
Nanotechnology is quite an interesting topic, also.
You spelled Cheerilee wrong. Sorry. That kinda stuff really bothers me.
Nanotechnology sounds very interesting to me really.