• Member Since 17th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 24th, 2012

Advent Knight


Comments ( 98 )

That bit at the end made me laugh. On the whole, well done. Could use a bit of polish, but then again most do. Take a star from me!:twilightsmile:

TAB

Seems good, will come back and read later :twilightsmile:

Edit: Read it, loved it, insta-faved. Now all we need is a Twilight chapter.

Wonderful. You did absolutely wonderful. For a second person narrative, you did better than any other I have read.

This is a whole new level of clopfiction, it's amazing!:pinkiehappy::yay:

Oh great. You've gone and fed my addiction. Oh well. It's fucking Fluttershy! (no pun intended) :yay: Thanks for the great story and can't wait to see more.

This could use some work on some points, but overall I like the feel you're going for-- lustful porn without plot that's also tender and, dare I say, sweet-hearted. *upvotes*

'Second in command'?
:facehoof:
Other than that, attention received. Also, that awkward moment when someone has watched you and your wife alone. :rainbowlaugh:

1537094 Sorry about that, I put second in command because I wrote this all in one shot for a friend of mine, I was running out of various ways to refer to the same thing.

great so far, wanting to see more :twilightblush:.

have some derpy for your "hard" work, du dum dum. :derpytongue2::derpyderp2::derpytongue2::derpyderp2::derpyderp1::derpyderp1:

I loved the story can't waite for the others also loled on the ending. By the way there are more then one human in thet word right where your storyes happen right?

Are there more than one human in this world? Hmm... Seeing as i plan to write multiple short stories for this series I think It'd make sense to make them interconnected, yes there are multiple humans in this world.

1538913 Didn't take you long to discover I pt it up eh ninja? Got an idea for a Trixie and a Luna one for this series, can't decide which one to do first.

1536289 Might I ask what you are doing here?

1541721 Waiting for a Luna chapter. Oh, and I'm working on the peering editing for my CBA.

1541777 Class Based Assessment. It's for my US History class and a graduation requirement.

1541784 Oh. My school's initials are CBA, so I thought you went there:twilightsheepish:

Lucky for you the next chapter will be with Luna

more I say. I need more.

Irony of chapter 2: I am told I am Luna's husband all the time. How odd that I get to see how this plays out.
Let me see if this IS what I'd do to Luna...

Well it seems that this is evolving from just a collection of romantic one shots. I for one am interested in the word that you are building in this story, so I hope that you do write a story that goes more in depth.
Anyway, this was a lovley chapter. Love the romance in it, the tension with the two nobles was good, and the ending was cute.

I am not sure if you will llisten to readers regarding who the next chapter could be about, but it would be awesome if one of them could be of Zecora with a human love interest of her own. Such a pairing is non-existent as far as I know.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

Good luck with all of your endeavors.

Okay, I think I understand now...
This not what I to Luna. I could, but I only have my magic in pony form. Maybe I could make a spell...sorry, you would never understand. And good job! I am going to be watching you! :pinkiecrazy:

Excellent Chapter. I would love to see Luna as a preggie.

“Never return to Canterlot if you value your life. I will not guarantee your safety if you do. Fortune, since you have not spoken much I’ll give you a second chance, learn from your brother and do not repeat his mistakes.”

Wait, Celestia said that?!

I'm afraid that's where you lost me. The rest I could've dealt with (the overwhelmingly powerful/misunderstood/tragic/betrayed human character), but then that happened. Wasn't Celestia in canon desperately trying to make ponies less overawed and plain afraid of her presence? Why would she banish somepony for only speaking their mind? Unless she meant she couldn't ensure Luna's knight wouldn't kill him, which is even worse. I can't say I felt for him, at all.

Honestly, he should go and talk to the guy who just got banished from Canterlot for merely being disrespectful. After all, he of all people should know what it's like to have your own people reject you for something essentially trivial, eh?

more in-depth into the back story of this world and its characters.

Do it! :pinkiehappy:

i would love to see this be a story of its own.
you have set up a nice world so far and the story just definitely got me hooked.
nice amount of romance/ clop and i would like to see some more of this "dream" escapades too.
in other words. it was beautiful :heart:

Oh it woud be nice if you make a story after you finished your planed love storyes ,which detaly why is there humans in this pony word and there story also I hope some background ponies will get some love (Spitfire, Lyra ,Vinly etc :3 ).

I would love to see this chapter expanded even further!:pinkiehappy:

1553880 Zecora might be hard for me, for her personality and character are so vague due to her lack of screen time., but Then again Luna has even less time. :eeyup:

1554582 Already got a Lyra story in mind, though due to an early request Twilight is next. :trixieshiftleft:

1554045 I personally think Celestia would be protective of her sister to some degree, but to each his own. :trollestia:

Another great chapter!:yay:
However, the fact that our praise sustains you leads me to believe that you are in fact a changling !!!:rainbowhuh:

I don't care
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcfgsqqHRc1rj8pgno1_250.gif

1554759

Do what you want, and do what you can.

:yay::yay::yay::yay::yay::yay:
thats all that needs 2 be said :3



:yay:

...

*Eye-twitch*

Some of the uses of "Your" are wrong.

"Your" Denotes a possessive.
~Give me your sword.
~Your criminal status is unacceptable.
~Your mom, El-oh-el.

"You're" is a simplified version of "You Are."
~You're my wife.
~You're not gonna do it.
~You're joking, right?

I like your story, but please, remember this. :facehoof:

I've decided this guy looks like Sebastian from Black Butler.
It just fits too well.
static.tumblr.com/mmeeym6/wFUm8papr/blackbutler-kuroshitsuji-sebastian.png

1555250 thank you for bringing his to my attention, I write these for the most part in a single run so I apologize for these errors, will attend to them eventually!

1555474 I shall take that as a complament good sir. :twilightsmile:

1555639
It was a compliment, and you're welcome. :twilightblush:

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