Becoming Fluttershy

by Hope

chapter 8. Concerns

Without any offers of help so far, we fill up the gas tank at Costco and head out to the east. I have driven to Arizona before, but I have never stayed on the eastern roads any further than Fernley. The drive serves to remind me how used to the desert I have gotten, the dead dry expanse stretching on and on into the distance, I take a sip of my water and adjust my hat.

The energetic music pumping from the speakers serves to keep us alert and upbeat, a must on long car rides.

“So, question.” Julien interrupts my thoughts abruptly.

“Yes?” I turn away from the window, taking another sip through the straw that Julien had acquired for me.

“Is Fluttershy still in there somewhere?” He asks, giving me an appraising look.

“We have co authored some pretty brutal stuff about losing yourself and mind control and what not, so far I can’t tell if your being replaced by her personality or if you are just still in shock from waking up as a pony.” He continues, his eyes returning to the road.

I honestly hadn't given a thought to that, I hadn't had any weird black outs or gaps in memory, my reaction to being called an animal was genuine, I had felt like I was helpless, on top of already being confused and scared.

It really does all go back to fear, doesn't it? I almost drift onto a tangent of thought but bring myself back.

“I don’t think Fluttershy’s mind is here or anything. I mean, as the element of kindness, wouldn't she be hesitant to warp my mind against my will?” I theorize.

“If she had a choice.” Julien corrects. “If the effect of being in her body was you simply became her over time, you would effectively die so she could take over.”

As unsettling as the thought is, and as likely as it may be, it just feels... wrong.

“I can’t explain it, but that just doesn't feel right. I can’t imagine Fluttershy destroying another mind even to save herself.”

An unbidden thought makes its way to the surface of my mind.

What if I had accidentally killed her? My eyes went wide and I ran through the scenarios in my head, if I had somehow taken over her body and she had not put up a fight, I could have killed her outright. If Fluttershy was dead...

I didn't have a chance to follow that train of thought, as a sudden peace came over me. Like a warm hug or a pat on the back. I just got the strongest feeling that I didn't need to worry about that.

“I don’t know, but I think it will all work out.” I said confidently. “I’m sure Fluttershy is fine.”

Lets just say I am not normally the most optimistic person, so this sudden declaration surprises both of us.

“At least I'm not turning into rainbow dash.” I point out with a smirk.

“Aaaand shes back.” Julien says with a laugh.

Our drive carries us into the depth of the true desert, civilization peters out and in the midday light it all seems surreally natural. So ordinary and simple it starts seeming like someone designed it to look just like that.

The little shrubs along the side of the road are spaced apart, just far enough that you're never out of sight of them but never too close together, the hills on the horizon seem strategically placed to pop up just as you expect the whole place to finally level out.

The dead boredom of the place quickly overwhelms me and I turn back to my only conversational partner i’m likely to have for several days.

“So I know you don’t like to drive,” I start; “So why are you suddenly okay with a three thousand mile drive across the country?”

He laughs. “I don’t drive very often, if at all, because its boring. Boredom isn't really a problem now since you've become a pony. I can’t really complain about being bored without taking care of that first.”

I start to open my mouth to thank him but he continues.

“Not to say I won’t complain about it endlessly after all this is over.” He quips.

My words die in my throat and I sigh. “I am sorry about all this, maybe I did something to cause all this craziness.” I try to reason out how I could have triggered ponification, but I really have no clue.

“You are totally becoming Fluttershy if you are going to start apologizing for the possibility of a magical catastrophe you had nothing to do with.” He points out.

I flush red for a moment. How could he say I’m losing myself to Fluttershy? Then again I could see it happening. I chuckle, gaining yet another questioning look from my driver.

“You will be assimilated into the Flutter collective, yay!” I say in my delicate voice.

We spend several minutes laughing at my expense before turning the music up and blasting down the road.

The surrounding world starts to grow greener as we pass through a few more towns. Certainly this isn't California, but it is a far cry better than the dead dry world we had just left behind.

The hours drag on and I let my mind wander, from things I've read or written about Fluttershy, to what this all means for reality itself, to flying.

I have always wanted to fly, I considered becoming a pilot but it was simply too expensive for me to look into seriously.

I twitch my wings against the warm seat back. I wonder if I could keep up with the car? No, that’d just be silly, I can barely hover. Although in the show, Rainbow manages to hit mach one, which is over 700 miles per hour. We are barely going 70. Despite my lack of practice and my relatively weak wings, that seems well within the range of pegasus ability. I suppose I should learn how to fly normally before that though.

“You look like you’re itching to get outside.” Julien comments, as he stretches a sore arm, the other still steady on the steering wheel.

I hadn't realized how uncomfortable I was until that moment. Like a building itch I suddenly needed to scratch, I needed to get out of this car.

“Y... yeah.” I stammer, rolling down the window and feeling the whip of the wind tear over my face.

The wind slows until its nothing more than a breeze, and when I open my eyes we are in the parking lot of a pizza factory in a small town called Carlin.

I pop open the door and hop out, flapping my wings until I am floating above the burning pavement, then landing and shaking out my mane.

As I let my withers slump, and take in the warm air circulating around me, I feel a tug at my head. My eyes snap open but it is only Julien, brushing my frazzled and wind swept hair back down into its smooth curve that marks me as the demure Fluttershy as surely as my wings.

“Feeling better?” He asks, taking the brush in both hands and examining the pastel pink hairs caught within.

“Yeah. Sorry, I didn't even realize I was getting antsy.” I explain nervously.

“You seem to be claustrophobic, possibly an effect of becoming a pegasus, or an effect of being assimilated.”

His attempt at humor falls a little flat, but I appreciate it anyway, rewarding it with a small chuckle.

I don’t see any people around, so I suddenly take a running start before leaping into the air with a mighty flap of my wings.

Flying is not hovering, not by a long shot.

Luckily I get a face full of dirt instead of asphalt, but it hurts as though I had been forced face first into a cheese grater. I force myself back onto my hooves and wobble for a moment before Julien arrives at my side.

“Shoulda practiced more.” I mumble, trying to use my fetlock to rub the tears off my stinging face.

“Shh, Its fine. You wanted to fly, it didn't work out. You can try again later.” He reassures me, applying water to a rag that he got from god knows where, and patting down my face to get the dirt off.

I eventually take the cloth in my hooves and scrub my face as though trying to rub the fur off. I’m not delicate. I may look it, and sound it, and for all intents be a timid pony with a complete lack of knowledge on how to function on my own, but I refuse to be fragile.

After a bit more snuffling and wincing Julien assures me that I look fine and we make our way into the pizza factory.

The first thing I notice when we get into the building is that the only other customers are a middle aged woman and her kids.

The kids spot me and for a moment I think they are going to run over to me and tackle me to the ground. Maybe its the fear in my eyes or her fear of me but the mother stops her children with a few demands to sit and eat their food.

Even though it is fueled by fear, I don’t mind this development.

Julien orders for the both of us and collects a plate of veggie pizza for me as he fills up on an all meat plate.

With that demure prelude, this is when I find out that pizza is amazing. Remember when I made the mistake of trying sausage? Well there is a sort of good greasy, salty taste and then a bad one. Equines really love salt if its the right type and something about this pizza just fills every desire my little pony mouth could ask for. Before I realize it, I've consumed every last bit of my pizza and have ordered seconds.

Admittedly I only consumed pancakes the day before. Its not surprising that I am ravenous, but the moment I finish my second plate I groan. My stomach feels like it is going to explode but I feel more content than after an entire day of internal dialogue and introspection.

I lean across the table and look into Julien’s eyes with a dreamy smile.

“Kill me, I wanna die happy.” I say with a giggle as he shakes his head in amazement, finishing off his first and only plate.

Comments

[Freescript the Bard]

Yeah I feel sorry for the sap that turned into Rainbow Dash…

…

…wait a minute…

[jakol]

How many chapters are you gonna pour out today?

Not that i'm complaining, of course.

[MyLittleBurger]

“You will be assimilated into the Flutter collective, yay!” Bow down to the Flutter overlords.....

[Red Bomber]

1524921

I can't imagine what her expression is like when she said that, but it must be pretty funny.

[Exia01]

1524921
I am Erica of Fluttershy you will respond to my questions!

[Pinklestia]

Well, maybe she and Fluttershy can coexist?

[Radoran]

Kill me, I wanna die happy

WHO COULD KILL THAT?!

[BronyCrystal]

Kill me i what to Die happy why giggle.
that just made my day Thanks.

I got to draw this lol
fan Art coming your way when get around to it. :) will on to next chapter.

[Funky Pony]

“You will be assimilated into the Flutter collective, yay!” I say in my delicate voice

*keels over due to laughing overdose*

40 minutes and 10 chapters in. How slow of a reader can you get?

[Writers Acre]

1522754 If you think this is bad read Five Score, Divided by Four or Dash of Humanity.

[Writers Acre]

Link

[Luckyfanisaac]

“At least I’m not turning into rainbow dash.” I point out with a smirk.

Edit 5/30/2020:

I turn back to my only conversational partner I’m likely to have for several days.