Looks good! Will read later.

I do like how you made it so that Pinkie Pie and Rarity are still virgins, I can understand why most fans would assume Rarity to be the most likely to lose her virgnity since she is the only one in the show to express intrest in marriage, as for Pinkie Pie I don't why lately so many fans like write her as a slut, yes she's really crazy and that probably attracts many ponies but even so I think she would at least be reserved in her more personally activites.

I'll admit that the BraeburnxApplejack ship wasn't really something I liked, cousin or family shipping just seems wrong to me.

And I am kind of surprised that Fluttershy's first time was with someone like Rainbow Dash, I would think that se would have more likely gone to Rarity before trusting Rainbow.

Lesson from this story: it is, in fact, possible to meld "adorable" and "raunchy."

Well done, and utterly believable.  I expect to find bits of this in my headcanon for years to come.

Is it really necessary to say that you will read it later?

Great work! Emotional...you hit everything from serious to devious here!

Silver out!

Wait, don't tell me. This one in particular will leave us traumatized?

>>15124471512447

It's pretty easy for it to go both ways.  She's happy-go-lucky, carefree, and loves being happy and making others happy.  Sex is a pretty big happy maker.

Of fucking COURSE this is featured. I don't fucking care how well it's written, I don't wanna see another 'hey-I-fucked-someone' story in the feature box EVER AGAIN. Capiche, FIMFic?

I personally liked the story. I think it's funny, though, how RD seems to have some liking to mares in the stories. Well, I don't mind! Good work my friend!

Edit: I have no problem with this fic, or with members of the LGBT community. I have no idea what gave you all that vibe. I liked the story and I have friends and family who are members of that community. I thought the story was well written, interesting and a refreshing fic to read. No hate here. I upvoted the story.

I was wondering how on earth this would have the dark tag. I have to say, the revelation that made it such was really well done. Twilight's story is definitely my favorite part of this fic.

*reaches end*

...

Image: http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000937345/shyamalan_xlarge.jpeg

...

(don't worry, it's a smart-people joke)

One or two complaints: incest is one, and the other is - well, I don't consider sex to work like that. I've never heard a conversation or series of events irl quite like this. I wouldn't know what kind of person or group of people have had these experiences.

2nd chap., plz. :D

     I liked it. It felt real... In a marshmellow pony way.

This would work equally if it was given a second chapter or if it was left how it is. Just make it up in your mind.

>>15124471512447 "Orgy" is just a fancy word for "Sex Party!"

Damn it! I want to know who twilight is interested in.

>Applejack with Braeburn

Ehhhh,I have to admit I'm not a fan of this ship so...

>Lesbian Fluttershy

hahaha,and surprising it was with Rainbow.

It was Interesting and I couldn't help to giggle when you used real dates (1998).

Chapter 2...?

>>15124471512447

I don't picture Pinkie Pie as a slut at all, but at the same time she's absolutely the most forward of any of the mane 6, completely open to new experiences, and comfortable with what she wants. Yeah I see her having an active sex life once she's old enough to want that. That doesn't make her a slut. I don't see her giving herself up to any pony because she's so desperate to get laid she would do anything and demean herself. I just see her as a pony who knows what she wants and pursues it, relentlessly yet sensitively. Pinkie would cut through a lot of the BS hang ups European/American culture erects around sexual contact, but she wouldn't let any pony take advantage of her.

>>15139701513970

I'm with this guy. I wanna know what happens next!

Something over 1500 words in feature? It must really be good. Will check it out later.

>>15124471512447

Fluttershy has known RD a lot longer than she's known Rarity.

>>15133431513343 I see what you did thar!

somehow, the ending makes this song fit to the story.

Wait so Twi basically raped somebody?

>>15124471512447

As a diehard FlutterDash shipper, I can offer the opinion she had known Dash a lot longer. Who's to say she even knew Rarity at the time?

"It was the next summer after Ah came back from Manehattan an' got my cutie mark," Applejack reminisced.

I hope to Celestia your head canon has ponies earning their cutiemarks in their teens.

>>15125791512579 Agreed.

>>15136301513630 That's what I liked about this story too. From all the oneshot fics that treat sex like some magical-make-everything-better-rod. This is a refreshing change to have some of the taboo and darker sexualities explored along with their reasoning and consequences.

Favourited for exploring topics that I have seldom seen dealt with this kind of maturity. Upvoted for having written it well.

Was well written but like almost every story on this site had its share of spelling errors. None the less good job it was a great read:)

>>15124471512447

Thanks! Keeping Pinkie Pie a virgin was deliberate, as I wanted to go against the "Pinkie the sex machine" idea which shows up so often in fics. AJ's story I wrote the way I did because it seemed right, and also because it pokes at a common taboo. It's quite okay for you to feel uncomfortable about it; Dash and Rarity share your opinion! Finally, Fluttershy's story worked out the way it did for two reasons: she and Rarity may be close friends, but she and Rainbow are old friends... and unlike Rarity, Dash is bisexual in this story.

>>15133431513343

I've been juggling the various ideas and themes in this story for a long time. But it was listening to "Want It, Need It" one too many times that made it all fall into place.

>>15135911513591

I can't blame you, really! I get sick of the sex-related stories cluttering up the feature box myself, every now and then. All I can say that I hope this one has a bit more content and meaning than most.

>>15136271513627

I've written her in different stories alternatively as straight, lesbian and now bisexual. Rainbow Dash encompasses multitudes.

This one in particular will leave you traumatized. If you need an example, I am the perfect paradigm; the want it need it spell works every time .

Hrm, I shall look into this one here soon...I shall comment after reading!

>>15135911513591 Hey, man, this is a good fucking story! Shaddup!

(though I agree with you

I love this little story. Sweet, cute, adorable, romantic, sexy, and bittersweet (cavities!) all at once. Just the way I like my ponies!

And keeping Rarity and Pinkie both experienced and still a virgin was the cherry on the cupcake

>>15136301513630

Hah! The biggest worry I had about this story was whether it could survive the massive tone shift.

>>15139701513970

>>This space intentionally left blank.<<  

>>15139721513972

You mean 998; the story (and the wedding) take place in year 1002 CE (Celestian Era)

>>15143751514375

No, she didn't. Stargazer did consent to what she did, even though you can argue his initial consent wasn't really well-informed. It was illegal sorcery, emotionally unhealthy and massively unethical, but not rape. Things didn't go truly wrong until she taught the spell to him, and Stargazer misused it, with bad results.

>>15144031514403

I hope to Celestia your head canon has ponies earning their cutiemarks in their teens.

Yes, more or less. Applejack was also something of a late bloomer; it apparently runs in the family. I also have ponies reach adulthood a bit earlier than humans. But yes, she and Braeburn were both awfully young and still immature.

From all the oneshot fics that treat sex like some magical-make-everything-better-rod. This is a refreshing change to have some of the taboo and darker sexualities explored along with their reasoning and consequences.

Thank you! If you think about it, none of the Mane Six's introduction to sex fits the romance-novel ideal. AJ's first time was entirely unplanned; Rainbow Dash's one involves a pushy jerk of a boyfriend; Rarity is virgin only in the most technical sense of the word; Fluttershy's sex life almost never got off the ground because of her confidence issues; and Twilight makes a horrible mess of it all.

>>15146331514633 I still say its rape but ok

For a moment there I thought that Twilight would summon herself a magical di-

Erm, whatever, the actual solution with the want-it-need-it spell was better than that.

Ah hate cliffhangers. And why did ths have to end in one?!?!?!?!?! also how come nopony's made a twilightxtrixie fics 'round here?

>>15146541514654

Remember kids! It's not rape if you like it!

Twi didn't rape anypony at all - it sounds like she told him what the spell would do, based on her understanding of it, and let him make a reasonably informed decision that he kept making afterwards even.  Stargazer was an informed and willing participant; it could have had consequences, yes, but what Twi did based on her telling was similar to getting his sober consent prior to breaking out a bottle of wine with dinner and the two of them getting it on drunk.

A little stupid, but not rape.  More like stupid college student sex, and hardly the stupidest.

When Stargazer turned her spell around and used it himself, that was rape, no question, and Twi is legitimately horrified to have been part of that, even indirectly from the sound of it, though there could have been a proper way to handle it.  However, see prior stupid college student comment, and quintuple the

I do hope for another chapter though - would love to find out who Flutters is dating!

>>15145631514563

No complaints here--I like that song a lot.

And I was not traumatized (thankfully). Taken aback a few times, yes, but full out traumatized no.

Twi´s first time is kinda sad, no it´s really sad, given that its wasn´t her Stargazer desired but the spell which made her so desireable. So basically she still didn´t had a kiss or sex with somepony who loves her for being herself/is attracted to her for being Twilight Sparkle, the adorkable bit social akward book nerdy Unicorn. And then the spell ended up with her friend being banished, the other victim ending in therapy and herself living in fear and guilt for a month/till now to enter another relationship. Yup, really really sad.

Liked how Pinkie/Rarity are still virgins in your fic and was surprised by Fluttershy´s first time with RD. AJ and BB somehow made sense weirdly.

Will this continue?

And is that certain stallion Big Mac?

What, another one of these?

>Pinkie and Rarity are virgins.

Yay!

>Applejack and Breaburn incest.

Boo!

>Twilight basically changing someones sexual orientation with a spell that mind controls people and has sex with someone she didn't even love at first.

What the fuck?

>>15149341514934

Remember kids! It's not rape if you like it!

Read it and liked it. Unfortunately the "Want-it, Need-it" coming into play was very obvious since the beginning, so the element of surprise was lacking. The stories were very much in character and I like the fact that you didn't go for the "Pinkie goes around like an STD" approach. Also RD X FS works in context, though I don't like the pairing as such.

I still think Tia was a bit harsh on the stallion that Twilight met (name omitted). Banishment for 10 years? I guess it kinda counts as a rape, though. The way you described him was that he was smart and likeable, so I really can't see him using the WINI in such a way. Mostly because I don't want to have Twi using magic to rut a gay rapist in my headcanon. Pass me the brain bleach please? I'm thinking too much again.

Edit: Also "rut in the butt" is now a part of my vocabulary. curse you and your rhymes.

I quite enjoyed the fact that twilight treated that event seriously (the crime I mean). Most writers would have the group brush it off.

i have to say, very well done. surprisingly so in fact. although, like many others, the aj and her cousin thing is not something i approve of, i can understand how it would work out. equally, your take on the situation that has been made oh so many times is refreshing. its new and unique in a sense, and i can really get behind it. spectacular piece, cant wait for more.

For a minute there, I thought Twilight's first time would have something to do with her brother or Cadence. Thank you for defying those expectations.

-ClarinetOverlord

How heartwarming! Very sweet moment between the girls; me gusta.

>>15146541514654

By legal terms, effects of the spell could constitute as intoxication, which means that Stargazer's consent was invalid by means of consent under duress, and so Twilight committed rape.

swag!

A dark rating?? Um OK. XD Well this seems interesting, I'll try to read it sometime.

Great freaking story here. Honestly I could see twilight doing that, she has gone crazy a few times so her eccentric nature in this seem fessable. Great job the character stories were totally believable, that for me is hard to do. Chow Bennet out.

"It was the next summer after Ah came back from Manehattan an' got my cutie mark,"

Don't they get their cutie marks when their like eight? And Ms.Cheerilee's class Is a perfect example of that. also, I think that you shouldn't Have made Rainbow Dash such a slut!!! I mean doin' it with shy? That's pure torture to me. And last but not least, Rainbow Dash should have been able to drink a HELL of a lot more alcohol! I mean, Sure she light weight,  But come on!!! She probably spends her spare time in drinking contests. Lets be real here, You think that Dash would be able to not drink!!! She's a fucking stuck up pegasus!!!

anyway, Good story

>>15146331514633 actually Its C.R. for Celestias reign.

>>15149541514954

Yes. What Twi and Stargazer were doing together was stupid, and emotionally unhealthy, and pretty damn unethical to boot, but the only illegal part was her using a restricted spell. After she taught the formula (which is kept out of the eyes of the public because it so easily leads to situations just like this) to him, and he went and mis-used it, though...

>>15150531515053

Again, yes. It's something Twilight really, really doesn't want to talk about, or even think about too much. Opening up to her friends was a big deal for her. Now, with their help, she can hopefully start truly moving on. (That's why the name of the pony she's interested in is not really relevant; the important thing is that he exists, and that she is willing to admit it, even to herself.)

>>15151121515112

Yeah, what he did was pretty obviously rape. He most likely did not intend or realize it as such, but... yeah. Smart, likeable people sometimes make stupid choices that lead to awful results, especially when they're letting their emotions carry them away. This is one of those cases, unfortunately.

>>15151821515182

I'm surprised by how many people are bothered by AJ's story. Maybe it's a bigger taboo issue than I realized?

>>15152191515219

Eeee-nope!   I'm not going to go there, or mess with Shining and Cadance's love.

>>15154881515488

On the subjects of cutie marks and age, all I'm saying that it varies (AJ was a late bloomer), and that ponies mature faster than humans. But yes, they both were rather young there.

As for Dash... I made her a "slut", because she slept with 'Shy once?   If you re-read the story, you'll notice that Rarity has probably gotten around more than all the rest of the Mane Six put together (although RD does come second, in terms of number of partners).

That's why it's illegal for most unicorns to even know, let alone cast.

This may just be a minor detail I'm reading way too much into, but how can it be illegal to know something? The act of wilfully obtaining hidden knowledge (e.g. looking at secret documents without authorisation) may be a crime, but surely not the knowledge itself? Or does the concept of thoughtcrime exist in Equestrian law?

>>15149541514954 This; so very much this. I made a similar point on another story, but I think mind control is permissible if the subject agrees beforehand. I don't see anything unethical about Stargazer's and Twilight's relationship. Stargazer definitely raped the other guy, though. Sick.

Also, FlutterDash FTW.

Your lack of a part two or chapter two is most disturbing. Most disturbing indeed.

>>15150541515054

From *my* reading of it, she told him what the spell would do, exactly, and then he consented prior to her casting the spell on him.  In other words, his consent was informed and "sober."

>>15155441515544 well, considering the frame you placed it in; time period, law, general universe, its actually quite alright. when placed in the context of our society its simply considering wrong/immoral/odd whatever you wanna choose. personally i disagree with the concept, but i completely understand how it could happen, and it seems (if not the norm) accepted to an extent in pony culture here.

so yeah, its really just a cultural difference. (although biologically it is foolish to breed within the family, i wont bother getting into that)

still, despite the social-cross, wonderful story.

>>15152661515266 Ok no The spell effect would be like a Ruffie (however the fuck that's spelled) in my opinion if two consenting adults have sex and one of them is drunk then its not rape granted its a dick move but its not rape you willingly consumed alcohol knowing full well what could happen and i don't want to start some fucking rape shitstorm on the comments so dont do that

you had me laughing alot untill twi's story and l wuz like WTF SHE MIND AND PHICCICALY RAPED HIM

omg lolz that sucks for twilight

>>15142631514263

Not that I really care one way or the other, but this is not necessarily true.  We do know RD met Fluttershy at that Summer Flight Camp, so they knew of each other, but not when they became friends, actually got to know each other.  Just that impulsive Dash stepped in to challenge some bullies.

There's several things that indicate that they were nothing more than acquaintances at that time.  Gilda, RD's best friend for a period of time after that camp but prior to RD moving to Ponyville, did not act like Fluttershy was an old friend of Dash's, so if RD and Shy were friends, they most likely drifted apart.  Fluttershy did not know the outcome of the race or that RD was responsible for the rainbow or the boom that drove the animals into hiding, leading to her getting her cutie mark.  A newly acquired cutie mark seems like something ponies would talk about with a friend who also just got one.  Or anyone else that would listen, for that matter.  Especially a braggart like Dash.

So that leaves the question of when Shy became friends with RD and Rarity pretty wide open and there's no way of saying which one she's been friends with for a longer period of time.

It was fine...

It was good...

It was great...

It was awesome...

And then the end blow.

*blinkblink* Ohhh noooo *laughs* One of my side-OCs is... Stargazer, a strict, annoying perfectionist astronomer supervising my main OC twin Pegasi on Canterlot.com...

She's thinking about me.

Also, I hope you don't mind if I make my own kind of sequel to this, with my OC.

I rather liked the story.

The Appleburn pairing I don't entirely like but not because of the Incest.

I just don't like Braeburn as a character.

As for Twi, I was honestly expecting her first to be Celestia.

Can... stop... laughing

>>15146331514633

In the words of Thor, Another!!

Have Twilight go after

oh, gosh... this was really well done. I think you did a good job incorporating the ponies personalities into this, but also giving it a different twist than most fanfics.

I award thee... five mustaches!!!

>>15139031513903 No it isn't. It's reasonable to expect an orgy to occur on a sex party (yes, that's actually a thing) at some point.

Ahem. Ewwww, incestuous marriage. I don't have a problem with it if it's just sex, but an entire family tradition of in-family baby-making? The Apples must be secretly burying deformed foals by the dozen.

>>15135911513591

Stop being a pretentious self-important ass.

.>>15164071516407

That's actually a misconception. Unless they have some rare, recessive gene disease in their genetics, there's no other reason that having a first-cousin baby, or even closer family related baby would be deformed or have birth defects.

>>15166221516622 When it's a single occurrence, no. Long term inbreeding is a different matter. As someone summarized quite nicely, marrying cousins is OK unless your parents did it too.

Entirely believable, in-character, and well executed. Ending before Twilight named names was both brilliant and evil. Well done.

>>15139721513972 Lol Twilight's like 35!

HOLY MACARONI! I loved this story. I don't usually like stories when the main six are telling stories about their first times, but this was better then the rest. It was original in most parts, and the stories were actually interesting.

For such great work, I reward you with a watch, a fav, and a big thumbs up!

I didn't like the cousin shipping. Yes, partly because it goes against social taboo's, but also it's it pretty unhealthy in a genetic sense. People are attracted to people who smell differently than them, and the closer related two are, the closer the smell. And there are bad side effects of interfamily stuff like that.

But all in all, I really liked it. And I loved, as many people did, that Pinkie is a virgin.

>>15155781515578

Spells blur a lot of real-world legal lines, because if you know it, you can (usually) cast it... or write it down and teach it to others. And Princess Celestia, and by extension the Equestrian government, takes a dim view of certain dangerous and abuse-prone spells being widely known. "Want It, Need It" is nowhere near the worst thing some too-clever by half unicorn with a chip on their shoulder has invented...

>>15160621516062

Hah! Well, since "Stargazer" isn't his real name, your character doesn't have to worry. Or sue Twilight for libel!

>>15166401516640

Oh, the Apples do marry outside the family, too. For example, AJ's aunt married one of the Oranges, and in my headcanon, they are also related to the Richs - much to the mutual disgust of Applebloom and Diamond Tiara!

>>15166541516654>>15167031516703

Thank you, guys! I know this is a well-worn basic idea, so I'm very pleased that folks are still finding the story interesting and worth reading.

>>15167911516791 If they didn't marry outside the family that would be a total disaster within a couple generations. I was thinking along the lines of one in five marriages being in-family. Maybe 1 in 3.

This has been done to death, the stories are kind of just over the top and honestly it has that whole "this has been done before" feel. I'm not downvoting, and I'm trying my best not to sound self righteous. But I hate how every story like this has Rainbow as the sex-crazed fiend, Applejack doing incest, and the others either whores or virgins.

But your writing style and grammar was fine, so A for that.

>>15167911516791 And plenty of people in the real world know things that can be very dangerous if put to use. We don't imprison them for it. Building a nuclear bomb is illegal. Knowing how to build one isn't. The excuse of "if you know it, you can (usually) cast it" as justification for illegality is a crazy thought process.

Reminds me of this joke:

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota.The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn - the wife likes to read. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

eh, the cousin cuddling was a bit cliché, but wow i didn't expect twilight's story at all! i missed the ark tag, so when i started reading, i was expecting her to have like created some kind of tangible magic hologram of stargazer or something and the real stargazer walked in on them.

Hmm, a very interesting and original idea. Not too often one can mix raunchy and adorable together.

hmmm. will read later. (looks at read later list) ug!

A fic about sex makes the featured box, basically includes rape, and people love it. Not only that, but you even decided to include the usual tropes: Rainbow is a nympho, AJ sleeps with her cousins, etc. It's boring and awful writing, and yet you somehow decided it would be a good thing to include in this mess.

This site continues to disappoint in ways I didn't think possible.

>>15164071516407 You're no fun... *Sadface*

I'll be honest, I was expecting this story to reveal something much darker

I was only going to skim it, to confirm my suspicions, but I was curious about the other girl's stories, and expecting them to be glossed over (to concentrate on Twilight's dark and creepy story). I was happily hooked by the interesting stories that you came up with, that felt appropriate for the mane 6.

I basically came in expecting "Twilight uses magic hold somepony down against their will, and force herself on them".

However, between the sensible stories of her friends, and the beginnings of Twilight story, I switched my expectations to "Twilight uses the Want-it-Need-it spell to force somepony to ahve sex with her, despite having no interest".

I have been very happily surprised by this story. I expected Dark and Creepy, and got Sweet and Sensible.

It is, however, painfully clear that starting to read fanfiction (of any kind) by reading various Fallout: Equestria stories (Heroes, the original, and still reading through Project Horizons), has severely skewed my expectations.

Also, the whole AJ and Breaburn thing:

I strongly disagree with the idea of cousins having that kind of relationship, and their young age made it even more objectionable. However, I know these kind of things happen in real life. I also know, that it is not my place to question something that personal, as long as no-one (pony!) is hurt. So all in all, it just made the whole situation more believable for me.

There are plenty of things I don't agree with that people think or do, so having stories include stuff like that, make them far more real and believable.

Building a story where each character is likable, with all their opinions and actions being acceptable to the whole audience, would make it the most dull and lifeless story ever. I think it might be too easy for us to stray in such a direction with our fanfictions, since the world we build our stories from is such a happy,cheerful, harmonious, and peaceful place.

That's pretty brave of Twilight, to admit that she was basically an accessory to rape. Through her own youthful thoughtlessness and foolishness, true, but still. Everypony else's stories were very interesting, too - the basic ideas may have been common, but the execution was much more realistic than such stories usually are.

I don't know, but to be honest I liked the story :)

A bit weird, but I liked it xD

Oh and this:

and Princess Celestia is a huge part of my lif and I love her,

<quote> Look what Celestia and I do when we are alone, is between me her and her camera <unquate>

If her first time isn't brushed of like that, it should be because she is a virgin. Personally I think that the heir apparent to the House of Twilight is too much of a prude not to be a virgin.

Not bad, better then some of the other 'Twi's first time' fics out there.

This was... actually a surprisingly good story, a bit like an episode of sex and the city where the girls talk about past encounters.

Though I agree with the Applejack/Breaburn thing being rather awkward, not only because of that whole Incest thing feeling... icky, and the fact that there is a lot of usually really immature and stupid humor among some parts of the Fanbase showing Applejack and the Apples in general in the worst cliched redneck way as incestuous, backward racists, and (though likely unintended on your part) this story only seems to endorse that notion.

But also because it kinda seems to me like a pointless shocker to add something special to AJs tale.

To explain that: The other first time Storys serve well to flesh out the characters, Twi is crossing the line of legality with her magic and needed to learn a very important and defining lesson about power and responsibility, Pinkie lets that rare bit of maturity and self reflection shine through that we saw in Baby cakes, Rarity is adventurous and surely enjoys being desired, but still won't simply give herself away easily just for a quick rush, Dash is as brash with her sexuality as she is with everything else (not nymphomaniac, not a slut, just straightforeward), and in the context given, Fluttershy prefering mares suddenly makes some sence.

I feel like Applejacks Story, though, might have worked just as well with any random station and, aside from the fact that she was very young and doing it with her cousin, there isn't really anything that makes it special or defines her as a character. Take Breaburn away and she basically said "Had my first time on a party after a mug of cider, that's about it". (Of course arguably, Applejack is a hard character to flesh out. The shows writers themselves seem to have problems bringing her into the spotlight after all)

The whole thing feels kinda... forced to me, especially since the rest of the story flows very nicely and is definitely an enjoyable read. There's a lot of good Humor and heartfelt emotion, and the subtle shift to a darker finale is executed smoothly. You also avoid the usual pitfalls of more raunchy storys well enough to make one actually forget they are reading about cute, candy colored Ponys talking about their sexlives, which is in retrospect kinda strange in itself. ^^'

>>15160551516055

Main thing to note: I said nothing about when they became friends. Just that she's known RD a lot longer.

Also, regardless of the "friends vs acquaintances" thing, it's rather difficult to have sex with someone you've never met before, don't you think? The story seems to imply that Fluttershy and RD had their first bout before she left Cloudsdale, meaning that with Rarity on the ground, the chance of Fluttershy turning to Rarity for sexual experimentation is effectively nil.

>>15146541514654

Nope. She would have fully explained the effects on him when he was in a position to understand and consent. It would be like if she asked him to get drunk as a solution to their 'problem'.

Jet Stream, on the other hand...

>>15152661515266

But if he agreed before she cast it, when he was in a 'sober' state?

Huh.......am I the only one that liked Appplejack her first time? Also, I washonestly disappointed that Twilight's first time was not with Spike, but oh well I guess I'm ok with an OC mating with her....hmmm....I LOVE Fluttershy/Rainbow Dash and I'm glad that Pinkie is still a virgin though I would not mind if she had rutted before. As for Twilight's first time....a bit harsh but she did not mean for such an outcome to happen, poor Twi. As for Rarity, well...she's my least favorite pony so I don't give a buck about her, well just be glad when she's with a stallion instead of Spike because I despise Spike/Rarity fics...but that's my view, I have no hatred towards those that like such a pairing.

>>15178971517897

As to that main thing, I already pointed out that isn't necessarily true at all.  She met RD first but that is an entirely different thing than actually knowing her.  I have met certain celebrities, for example, but I do not know them.  I just know of them.  So Fluttershy and RD meet.  Then RD stays in Cloudsdale while Fluttershy moves to Ponyville right after Summer Flight Camp ends, becomes friends with Rarity.  Several years later, when RD moves to Cloudsdale and assumes weather related duties there.  She meets an old acquaintance and they become friends.  And so Rarity would have several years on actually knowing Fluttershy, even though RD met Shy first.

Is that what happened?  We don't know.  We don't know when Dash and Shy became friends.  We don't know when Rarity and Shy did.  We don't know when Dash moved to Ponyville.  Or when Fluttershy did.  Or even if Rarity moved there from somewhere else.

Cloudsdale is irrelevant, since the comment you first replied to had nothing to do with location.  Just that the first commenter figured Rarity was more likely than Dash as a choice.  Obviously, if the choice was Rarity, it would happen on the ground.  Your reply though was along the lines of her having known Dash longer and therefore Rarity was not a choice.  Well, canon provides no proof of this one way or the other.  If Fluttershy had her cutie mark at the time, either could be made to work within canon.

>>15145631514563 Yours definitely was more meaningful! I'm just sick of all the second-person human-on-pony fics. That disgusting abortion of a ponyfic "Miss Me?" was the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

This however, I feel a special connection with this one, especially Twilight's account of her first time. You made me want to hug her.

>>15180911518091

> Well, canon provides no proof one way or the other.

Then the point of trying to correct me on unlikely and unsupportable "possibilities" was...?

This has been done to death. It was more than a little startling to see that Twilight was an accessory to rape, for goodness sake. We're following a lot of the usual tropes (incest Applejack, sex-fiend Rainbow, etc.) I'm really scratching my head as to how this got into the feature box...

It DOES, however, take a certain degree of talent for an entire story to hold its own weight with nothing but table-conversation. If this was a comic book, it would be nothing but panels of talking heads and very uninteresting. However, you held their personalities together well enough that it stayed solid. Everyone was pretty in-character despite the source material, so there's that.

I cannot, by any stretch, give this a thumbs up. But its not TERRIBLE in any structural sense, so I can't thumbs-down it either. Ah well.

Tone dissonance so awkward...

There were a couple of things that surprised me here. One, AJ in Cutie Mark Chronicles looks about Apple Bloom's age. Which seems to map to like... 12. Generously. I am a little squicked by the cousin thing, but that's just my hangup. The youth is really the disturbing thing.

Second is that Pinkie was saving her self due to responsibility. You can make her a sex machine or not, no argument here, but responsibility in the sense of planning ahead like that is canonically not Pinkie's strong suit.

Twilight's accidental rape facilitation was a good secret. I was honestly expecting Smarty Pants... glad I was wrong. This was pretty believable, particularly Twilight falling for a colt cuddler - she would, wouldn't she? Her or Rarity.