It was true that the doctor had regenerated many times but this time something felt, different. He would think more on these things later because at the moment the TARDIS was crashing with more force than it ever had before. Plowing though dimension after dimension it finally decided to land in the backyard of what appeared to be a regular home. Thinking now was a good time to figure out why this regeneration had felt so weird. He walked up to his mirror and right of the bat he noticed why it had felt so weird this time. The three most obvious things that were new were these:one, he was a pony; two, he still wan't ginger; and number three, he was a she.
Chapters (1)
Its just a little disjointed, that makes it a little hard to read. Could have used another read through. But I do like the concept.
>title spelled incorrectly
I can see the thumbs down now.
I volunteer too proof read your future chapters.. It seems there are a few grammar mistakes, and I wish to help.
ooohhh boy....that description. God, i haven't even read it and i can predict that this will have a visit from TWE. I wish you luck my friend, I can hear the Hate Stampede from here.
Edit: well. I read about two paragraphs. Something tells me this stories comment area is gonna end up like Pegasister4Life's story comment area....
Doctor Wooves? Is this a Woona-fic?
HOLY SHITTY GRAMMAR, BATMAN!
Okay, first thing: Indent your paragraphs!
Second, This whole paragraph:
Is utter rubbish You need to change things, so this:
Needs to be this:
So I fixed the first paragraph for you. Alterations are shown in red. I also suggest that if you are not a native English speaker to try and find some English classes in your area.
1524669
Says the man with the wrong variant of 'to' and one too many periods.
Bad grammar makes me want to rip my throat out.
Whelp, I just vomited in my mouth a little. That was fast. But anyway, this is Schlippy, giving you my two cents on the situation at hand. But lemme tell ya, you're already winding me up, and I've got ways of making you tock. I'm pretty ticked off, you see, so it's high time I get into minute detail...get it? Because it's a clock...nevermind.
For starters, it seems you've made a mistake with your italics. I don't know how you could've have noticed it, but it's right here.
Now onto the extremely glaring mistakes with grammar and punctuation. Let's find a good example:
Let's fix this up, shall we?
Judging from this paragraph, you've got some major issues with punctuation and word usage (red and green, respectively). All I can say is, find an editor to proofread this. It's just a fuck-load of mistakes that makes this unbearable to read. Without proper writing mechanics, your story will get all the downvotes it deserves.
Also, your story gives off the feeling of being discombobulated and out of sync with each segment. That's not how either show works. And frankly, it's making my head hurt. I don't think the pacing's too fast, it's just that it's...imagine a road with giant speed bumps to bash your face against the dashboard every five feet. That's how it feels.
Thus shall end my two cents review. Take it, and go buy yourself a soda or something. As for me...I'll go buy some aspirin...
~Schlippy
TWE Reviewer, Derpy Trash Pail Person, and Resident Bowtie Enthusiast
SHITLOAD OF UPSIDE DOWN THUMBS INCOMING
GERONIMO!!!
Scribblestick here. I haven't the energy for a full review, so I'll settle with your cover page.
First off: why bother critiquing you cover page (title, cover image, tags, and description)? Because this is the first, and often only, chance you have to impress your potential readers. If there's a problem here, that problem is likely in the story itself, so the more problems we see there, the less likely we are to read your story.
My only question about the title is why you say "Professor" instead of "Doctor." I'm not sure why you picked a different Dr. Whooves, but I can go with it. I'm not sure if you need the "Crossover" and "Alternate Universe" tags, but hey.
The biggest weakness is the description. Since this should be teh strongest, let's see if I can help you out.
Okay, I'm kind of BSing this since I don't know much about Dr. Who, but here's a tip: if you have more than one and, so, or but in a sentence, it's too long, and you should break it up. Mine isn't brilliant, but it is easier on the eyes.
Great, now my brain hurts. I'm going to have to check out for now.
~Scribblestick, TWE's fatigued moderator
Oh, apart from the misspelled title this looks okay...
*reads story*
i43.tinypic.com/33lounb.jpg
I was mistaken.
So this is a gender flipped version of Equestria?
I'm still not interested in touching it until you fix the spelling, grammar, sentence structure and stop recreating the beginning of the 11th Doctor's run.
1524742
.
The dangers of skimming... I thought you had typed, "Dusk was f****d nicely in his bed" and I was like
I don't watch Doctor Who.
Umad? >:3
Anyways, you lack of grammar skills. And when I say lack, I mean that you need to get a GOOD proofreader.
Other than that, it's decent. Except you spelled Hooves/Whooves wrong. Professor Wooves is just... Awkward.
[youtube=VhCfaDrGmBU]
1526609 Please don't spam trains. Please. I may not be a reviewer for the TWE, but I know well enough that those who are want to be portrayed as actual critics who can help authors, not train-spamming trolls.
1526867 I am not a reviewer and should not be associated with legitimate TWE members
1526889 Spamming trains can still get you into some shit, no matter who you are. Just a heads-up.
Thanks guys for all great advice and reviews i have taken all your advice into consideration and redid the story a little bit. so plz review and be honest. i guess i'll see you all again in chapter two
good story; needs some work on the grammar, if you want i would like to be your editor
i accept
Why must you be dead