Chapter 34
Chapter 34
There were, it occurred to Ethan, times when having pants would help. This thought struck him at generally the same moment as Sombra’s ball of angry telekinetic energy slammed into his chest and sent the man flying back into the room that he’d just emerged from. Now, it wouldn’t really have been all that big of a deal, the not having pants aspect, but in this case Ethan was at his wits end with the whole bloody Equestria place and he wanted his damned pants back!
“Fuck you!” Ethan shouted as he charged out of the cell and towards Sombra who caught him up in a telekinetic grip and sent him flying head first into a nearby wall. The man felt his lower jaw snap, and then easily slide back into place as the radiation healed the wound. He fell to the ground and let out an angry growl as he once more charged Sombra, this time strafing from the right.
Sombra let out a small chuckle and Ethan suddenly felt his legs become entrapped by some sort of rope that, when combined with his momentum sent him flying forward several feet to land in a heap in front of Sombra. He barely managed to roll out of the way of the stallion’s downward hoof stroke and with a snarl he tried to grab ahold of the leg but Sombra was quicker and jumped back from him.
“You killed the Nightmare’s thrall? And Nightmare herself has apparently given up on using you? What a surprise,” Sombra said with a small chuckle. “I simply cannot wait to use you as a the vanguard of my army, truly, you will make a spectacular champion.”
“Go shove it up your ass,” Ethan groaned as tried to get to his feet only for Sombra, who was still holding him by the legs, lifted him into the air and smashed him into a stalactite that he’d forgotten to get rid of when he was renovating the cave system for his secret underground base. The hard stone shattered upon his impacting, as did several dozen of Ethan’s bones.
“How amusing, you think you can beat me,” Sombra said, a dark smirk on his face.
“Always a possibility,” Ethan croaked before Sombra slammed him into the floor. The stallion walked up to Ethan, who was still wrapped in his red magic, and slammed a hoof down in a very sensitive place. The man let out a surprisingly high pitched scream of pain and Sombra simply chuckled darkly.
“Oh no, it was never a possibility Ethan,” the stallion told him before stomping again. “You see, I am Sombra, the rightful ruler of the Crystal Empire and master of the arts of dark magic. You are a defenseless ape without so much as a pair of claws with which to defend yourself.”
Ethan struggled in the stallion’s grip but only succeeded in flipping him off, and he was barely able to manage that. Sombra took note of the gesture and smiled simply, his horn’s glow intensified, and Ethan’s middle finger snapped in half. The man winced as the bone reknit itself and Sombra let out a dark chuckle.
“Bad dog,” Sombra said almost casually as he picked Ethan up in his magic and began to trot down the hallway back towards the throne room.
“Fucking magic is hax,” Ethan growled under his breath, Sombra appeared to take no notice of the words, but Ethan’s head crashed into the roof of the low cavern with a sickening crunch and the man’s vision flared as pain raced through his skull and blood began to drift down his forehead.
“Bad dog,” Sombra commented again as they continued down the corridor. “You know, you’re the first human that I’ve had the chance to break in?”
“Really, you don’t say?” Ethan groaned and was smashed into the ceiling once more with an equal result as the first time.
“That was rhetorical, bad dog,” Sombra said with an annoyed voice. “Anyways, I think I’ll keep you alive and use you until you die, and then keep on using you after that. Though the question is which way will I make you serve me?”
“How about letting me down, that might wor-” Ethan was cut off by yet another slam into the ceiling.
“Also rhetorical, bad dog,” the stallion informed him. “As I was saying; there are so many possibilities to choose from. That’s one of the ‘bright’ sides to dark magic, so many options, am I right?”
Ethan remained silent and was rewarded for his forethought by being slammed into the wall head first rather than the ceiling. He winced as he lost a tooth and had to spit out a stream of blood on the floor.
“That wasn’t rhetorical, bad dog,” Sombra said, a cruel smirk on his face. Then he smashed Ethan into the opposite wall, this time leading with the legs which broke with a crunch. “And don’t get blood on my floor; do you know how long it takes my zombies to figure out how to use a mop?”
“... a long time?” Ethan hazarded.
“Yes, a long time,” Sombra agreed before he flattened Ethan against the ceiling with a crash. “That was because I felt like it,” he confided.
“Dick...” Ethan moaned.
“No, I’m afraid you won’t be getting any of that,” Sombra commented smiling wryly. “You’re not my type.”
“Oh go fuck yourse-” Ethan’s curse was interrupted as a bolt of scarlet lightning lanced out of Sombra’s horn and slammed into him, briefly illuminating the man’s bones as it arced around his body. The man writhed in agony, screaming at the top of his lungs.
“Remember those methods I was talking about? That’s one of the more minor ones,” the stallion said with a grin as he turned to look at the sagging man held suspended above him. “I just can’t wait until we get to the more exciting ones!”
“Yeah... you seem like the type,” the man grumbled, receiving another bolt of the lightning.
“Quiet,” Sombra instructed as they entered the throne room where the magic monitor was still projecting the battle above. The stallion took a moment to survey the scene and smiled in delight as he saw that things were still going according to plan. General Falchion was still alive somehow despite the suicidal charge, but he was covered in blood and his armor was dented and stained by gore.
He turned away from the illusion and back to Ethan. “So... Ethan was it? What method should I choose for you eh? I don’t want it to be quick and easy... OH, I know of a great little one that I picked up while I was drifting through the many versions of Equestria in spirit form!” Sombra said with a wide grin.
“What is it?” Ethan asked quietly, a sense of dread filling his stomach with ice water.
“Oh it’s a little thing that I like to call the insanity matrix,” he replied in an almost cordial tone. “It forces you to do my will, and the more you attempt to resist it, the more it hurts you until you begin to do as I order. Then it fills your mind with pleasure at completing my orders until you are left with only the urge to seek pleasure, no matter what the cost!”
Ethan’s eyes widened. “That... doesn’t sound very... nice.”
Sombra turned to him with laughter in his eyes. “No, no I don’t suppose it does. Of course, that’s the point now isn’t it?”
He brought up his horn, which began to glow an even more intense shade of red and shadows started to gather around it as he shaped his foul magic. Ethan struggled feebly in his magical grip but nothing he did seemed to work, he couldn’t break free. Sombra released the spell and it streaked towards Ethan’s helpless form.
A shield of purple light suddenly erupted around Ethan and the spell bounced off harmlessly. Ethan turned to see, Twilight Sparkle, her horn and eyes aglow with magical light stalk into the room, her mane shifting and shimmering around her head as she came forwards.
A scream of inarticulate feminine rage sounded in the room and Sombra was suddenly lifted off of his feet and sent careening into the far wall. Thankfully, the shield that had been erected around Ethan protected him when he fell to the ground. The man didn’t even have a chance to thank the mare before she leapt, yes, leapt over him, propelled by some unseen force of magic and landed several feet away from where Sombra had been knocked back to.
Sombra arose with a coughing chuckle. “Haahaha, it seems that you’ve gotten free Twi-” he was interrupted in mid sentence as Twilight’s horn unleashed a lance of white flames that raced their way towards him. The eldard unicorn’s horn glowed in response and the flames were deflected to either side of him. “Oh look, you’re angry,” he commented. “How adorable!”
Twilight responded by unleashing another river of fire at him but Sombra contemptuously deflected that as well before sending out a lance of red lightning towards the mare who teleported around the blast. The lightning hit the floor where she’d been standing and partially melted the stones making them more closely resemble liquefied plastic then actual stone.
The mare reappeared above Sombra and sent a wave of kinetic force towards him but he matched it with his a blast of his own. They cancelled each other out with an explosion of energy that sent the still airborne mare flying backwards. Twilight landed in a backwards roll and somehow managed to come up on her hooves though she was panting heavily.
“Is that truly the best you have?” Sombra asked her arrogantly. “I simply cannot believe that Celestia of all ponies would send an unskilled novice like you to fight me. Or are you truly the best mage that Equestria has managed to produce these days?”
Sombra regarded the panting mare for a moment before he chuckled.
“Filly, I am a centuries old sorcerer who enslaved an entire nation and it took both Celestia and Luna at the heights of their power to defeat me. What hope do you really think you have of doing so?” he asked, clearly not even winded yet.
Twilight snarled something under her breath in reply and her horn began to glow once more. A tremendous blast of force rocketed out of her horn, more than any save an alicorn could’ve produced, and rocketed into Sombra. The stallion had time to let out a small ‘oomph’ before he crashed into the stone wall of the cavern creating a crater in it.
The mare approached him, her eyes glowing with intense magical power that radiated off of her in steady waves.
“I am Twilight Sparkle, the Element of Magic, and you will fear me!” she growled through clenched teeth as she held him motionless against the wall.
Sombra’s eyes widened in fear for a moment, perhaps the first real fear that he’d displayed in the last thousand years. However, his horn flashed and Twilight was suddenly blinded by a brilliant blast of light. She reeled back her eyes unseeing and Sombra’s counter blow caught her in the chest. It felt as if she’d been punched by a super mutant behemoth and the mare tumbled backwards through the air, this time crashing into the floor.
“You’ve forgotten the most important rule of unicorn to unicorn combat Twilight, you never get that close,” Sombra called to her as he teleported out of the crater in the wall, apparently none the worse for ware. “Especially when your opposition is protected by more than enough wards to deflect simple kinetic force.”
Twilight tried to rise to her hooves but Sombra smacked her to the side with the magical equivalent of an extremely hard slap to the face that sent her stumbling. Another blow of force lashed out, and Twilight found herself being tossed with almost contemptuous ease into the wall. She let out a shriek of pain as she felt one of her ribs crack and Sombra let out a cooing noise.
“Aww... did I hurt the wittle pony?” he asked her as he held her in the air. “I’m so sowwy but she was being annoy-”
Sombra stopped in mid-taunt and he let out a high pitched squeak and his eyes rolled back into his head as something akin to a sledgehammer hit him in a very sensitive part of his body. Part of it was from the pain, but most of it was from the shock of what had just happened. He fell to his knees and tried to recover but Ethan delivered another kick and he let out another squeak as the last of his breath left his body and he began gasping for air like a beached fish.
The man acted before Sombra had a chance to recover and grabbed him by the rear legs and picked him up before stiffening and smashing him face first into the stony floor, once, twice, three times, four times, five times, six times, seven times, and continued on doing so until the stallion had received the exact number of head splitting bashes that he’d delivered to the man. Then Ethan threw him to the ground and went on one knee on top of the somehow still breathing stallion’s throat.
“NOW SHUT UP!” Ethan yelled into Sombra’s ear.
And for a blissful moment all was silent-
-and then Sombra bean to laugh and vanished from beneath Ethan.
“Hahahahahahaha, good, very good!” Sombra proclaimed. “You will truly make the perfect leader of my forces.”
Then he picked up Ethan in his magic and launched the man into the far end of the room where the man careened into the wall with the sound of a dozen bones snapping. Sombra didn’t give the man time to recover and instead simply grabbed him again and repeated the process, this time throwing him into the obsidian throne. The dragon glass shattered as Ethan’s side slammed into it, embedding large black shards into his still naked side while other simply slashed open wide gashes. Blood flowed freely from the man as he lay limp on the floor.
“What? No more? Really? You’re done? And here I thought that you would pose a greater challenge,” Sombra mocked him. In response, Ethan only moaned painfully. “Bah, what a pity, now where did Sparkle go?”
Sombra’s answer came as Twilight appeared in front of him with the flash of a teleportation spell, however... this time it was not the Twilight that he recognized. Her fur was a shimmering white and her mane and tail were made of fire.
“You! Are! Dead!”
The Crystal Army was on its last legs, they’d fought a good fight, but it was clear, it was now perfectly clear.
They would lose.
General Falchion, bleeding from a dozen wounds, hacked at the zombified remains of one of his subordinates who had fallen earlier, decapitating him. Even as the head hit snow another reared up to stab at him with a long spear. The general was defenseless and out of breath, however, the spear never reached him. Instead it was stopped by a shimmering blue forcefield.
Falchion looked around in confusion and saw that a similar sight was playing out all around him, each of the undead had been blocked. A long moment of absolute silence fell across the battlefield and then a sound that had not been heard in the last five hundred years split the air. It was the sound of Celestia’s sword being drawn from its scabbard for war.
The alicorn of the sun appeared among the first rank of the zombies and before any of them could react her golden blade had slashed through a dozen as a blast of fire lanced out with every swing. Even as the zombies reeled from the first attack a blue streak of darkness appeared beside the elder alicorn and Luna’s silver sword swept out in a flash of moonlight that burned through the hollowed eyes of the zombies causing them to cry out in pain.
The two alicorns stood among the first hundred corpses and then turned back to the army as the forcefield dropped. Shining Armor stepped out of the carriage that had landed in front of the soldiers, giving them a speculative gaze for a moment before speaking.
“I hope we’re not running too late boys,” he said, using a spell to amplify his voice. “Now, let’s show these undead abominations what happens when they try to hurt our ponies eh?”
The exhausted army stared at him, and then let out a wild roar and charged forward even as the princesses blitzed through the undead ranks, little more than flashes of gold and blue among the white and red.
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olololololololol first
And I am still disappointed you didn't use "Sombra stopped mid-taunt as he felt something violate him." I was proud of that!
Oh boy, here comes ANGRY! Twilight.
Baton down the hatches!
3206711 He should have used that..
3206755
prepare the shoop da whoop orbital cannon if you have to!
AHAHAHAHA! SOMBRA GOT KICKED IN THE BALLS! AMAZING!
Okay, we should be safe from the magic blast from Twilight, I hope....
taken out of context (and also in context) this sounds really weird:
Well shit. Sunbutt got off her ass and is doing something useful.
Interesting, I wonder what would've happened if Ethan had brought along the MIRV and loaded it with Tiny Tots mini nukes? Something comparable to a nuclear shotgun?
I really hope they don't forget that Sombra's currently riding driver on Cadence/Shining's Son...
Oooh yeah Twilight Motherbucking Sparkle finally got some badass time. Grrrrr!
Well, with Twilight going over 9000 and the pricesses entering the fray.....It seems that an overabundance of fecal matter just crashed into the super industrial sized rotary system.
Btw, lets do a check list:
Mind Splitting: check
Assuming Control: check
Insanity Matrix: check
Little Unicorn harnessing the power of gods becomes one at the end: at this point, check
Thanix Cannon: UNCHECK
Except for the last part everything suggests that this is fic contains references to a very well known fic involving evil gods and serious doses of mindfuck.
Now in refards to said last part I have only have three words: MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!!
For all those who dont know what a "Thanix Cannon" is watch this: Action starts at 1:00
Basicly, very dense matrial in a fluid state shot out at near lightspeed.
Result: epicness
3207534
Heheh, where do you think Sombra learned his spell
(I draw a lot of ispiration from that fic)
3207286
Well, one can hope so.
3207029
Heheheheh, hadn't thought about that
3207764 Wait a secound, does that mean that Titan and Terra are somewhere around in this fic?
Well, its time the two meet the crazy SoB.
3208755
I actually know nothing about guns,,, so thaks for the heads up
"Dick."
"Oh, you won't be getting any of that..."
Done, I'm fucking done, wrap the story up here guys, cause if I laugh any harder my lungs'll burst.
Even though it was Sombra, best fucking line ever.
Postal 2 reference?
"And this is for mom, and this is for dad, and it is for the little John, this is for bobo space monkey, and this is because you're ugly, this one because I can, this one because I still got ammo"
For some reason it made me think about this picture.
fimfiction-static.net/images/story_images/63811.jpg?1353098571
Oh Sombra is screwed now and I hope that the foal can be saved
3206811
Go one further and use THE ION DEATH BEAM CANNON!
3225677
Well, if that specific design was made using Enclave, Pre-War, and Zetan tech, well let me put it this way:
It would probably weather those mininukes thanks to things like advanced composites that utilize Duraframe and modified Saturnite alloys (which, while not as fantastical as Saturnite Prime, is pretty good armor) as armor, zetan shield technology as one of several means to stop enemy fire (still, like the ship version, you can overload a small point to punch through but that takes a lot of focused energy, essentially heavy beam weapons), active defensive systems in the form of an advanced turbo-plasma gun called a 'hybrid blaster' or simply 'blaster', two M2 .50cal HMGs, and has a 25cm gauss gun with a heavy laser cannon coaxial on the standard variant (and another has a giant ass Tesla Cannon (think the endgame weapon of Broken Steel but megasized) instead of a gauss gun).
It's powered by H1-H1 and plasma power plants... so it's range is effectively 'as long as the crew can take it'.
Also, it's going in with powered armored infantry and battle suit (think SUPER!PA) support at a minimum...
Although that was made after mankind climbed into the stars after being united by the TSC...
3226568
no....PREPARE THE DAMN MOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!and sun.
3227340
There is no such thing as overkill, only open fire and reload. :D
3213649 Magic is hax