Edited by TacoTown
Interlude: The Assassin and the Princess
Kane was restlessly tossing a small plastic red ball against the wall across from his bed, and then catching it as it rebounded. It was a strategy that he’d learned years ago while on a particularly boring job; the target herself was interesting, but the job required him to spend four nights waiting on a cold rooftop, freezing his balls off. On the bright side he’d killed the target, made a clean getaway, and found a new way to pass the time, all in the same night. Silent was asleep in the bunk across from him, but the cat just couldn’t fall asleep. He sighed, there was something that he just couldn’t get out of his mind, but he didn’t even know what it was…
“I would’ve expected a ball of yarn to be of more interest to you.” Luna said jokingly from the doorway.
“Yarn is for kittens.” Kane replied simply as he caught the ball again and then threw it back.
“Tell me what is on your mind Kane; it is my duty to know the feelings of my guards and you seem particularly broody this evening.” Luna said as she took a seat on the bed next to the cat. The cat tossed the ball again before he turned to look at Luna.
“I can’t believe that you didn’t kill Blueblood. You do realize that she’s just going to cause more problems now that she’s been banished, right?” The cat asked before he licked one of his claws.
“Yes, I’m aware.” Luna said with a frown.
“Then why is she still alive?” Kane asked, he caught the ball and put it down beside him before turning to stare at Luna.
“Because it wasn’t my decision, it was Tia’s.” Luna said with a sigh. “She believes that there is still something salvageable within Blueblood’s character. I myself would’ve preferred it if we had just killed him and been done with it.” She added with a shake of her head.
“And turning him into a mare, was that your idea?” Kane asked with a roll of his eyes.
“No, I wanted him gelded, Tia compromised.” Luna told him with a matching roll of her eyes.
“At least tell me that she’s sterile!” Kane said exasperatedly.
“Unfortunately, no. Tia said something about that not being humane.” Luna said with a disserve snort.
“Gah, now she’s going to foster a clan of revenge seeking brats.” Kane said, throwing his paws in the air in frustration.
“I doubt it.” Luna replied.
“Oh, why is that?” Kane asked.
“Because I may have made a few minor illegal changes to her phycology. They were very small, but not unnoticeable. In layman’s terms, I essentially rid her of her need for revenge.” Luna told him. Kane let out a low whistle.
“And you think that that’ll be the end of it?” Kane asked.
“No, which is one of the reasons that I’ve come to you Kane.” Luna told him.
“I see, when should I leave?” Kane asked as he began to rise from the bed; Luna’s insistent hoof stopped him before he could finish rising.
“You are not leaving; your duty is with me now.” Luna said firmly. “I am here because I would like your recommendation on who I should charge with the duty of killing Blueblood should the need arise.” She explained.
“And you came to me for this because?” Kane asked.
“You’re one of the foremost assassins in the world and have taken down top members in the courts of every nation on this side of the world, and some of the others if some of the things that Epona said last time that I saw here were true.” Luna told him.
“But what makes you think that I would know who you should pick; expert assassins don’t all hang around in the same bar and swap stories about the people we’ve killed. That’s the kind of thing that gets you killed in my line of work.” Kane told her with a shrug.
“I’m not going to arrest them Kane!” Luna said sensing the real reason for the cat’s evasiveness.
“Look Luna, I’m sworn to you, but you’re hardly sworn to me. Sure, I know several friends who could easily keep watch over Blueblood and kill her if she ever gets to be a real problem. The problem being that they’re all wanted for murdering royalty of some kind or another and I really doubt that they’d trust anyone who asked them to work for you, even me.” The cat explained with a frown.
“Surely there must be someone out there who would work with us for the right price!” Luna exclaimed in annoyance.
“You asked me for a recommendation, there are plenty of assassins out there who’d risk working with you, but I can’t recommend any of them.” Kane told her with a shrug.
“But surely if you talked to them first then they’d work with me!” Luna exclaimed in frustration.
“I’ve seen several of them watching me from rooftops; they’ve seen me running around in guard armor. At this point I’m not sure how much trust they’d put in my word.” Kane told her. “Although I might be able to get in contact with an old friend who should still trust me, for a small price of course.” He added with a wink
“Kane, what do you want?” Luna asked.
“I was thinking a kiss.” Kane said with a dashing smile, Luna’s eyes widened in surprise.
“But I thought you were only into queens.” She said in surprise.
“Well I haven’t seen many of them here in Canterlot, so I suppose I’ll have to make do with a princess.” Kane continued with a smooth smirk.
“So what kind of kiss would you like?” Luna asked with a small, seductive smirk.
“Oh a little tongue, nothing too extreme.” Kane replied with a grin.
Luna leaned forward and their mouths met, and then Luna’s jerked back suddenly in surprise.
“Ow, ow, ow, what’s wrong with your tongue? It’s like it has barbs on it!” Luna exclaimed.
“That’s because it does. I’m a cat, remember.” Kane replied simply with a chuckle.
“You knew that that was going to happen!” Luna accused.
“Yep. Problem Princess?” Kane asked with a smirk. “I guess I’ll just be the one who got away.” He added. Luna glared at him for several seconds before she took the initiative and leaned forward again.
“Bring it on kitty.” She said before she once more locked lips with the cat and began to force him down onto the bed.
Silent, who had just been awakened by Luna’s exclamation, took one look at the scene before him and made a hasty, and surprisingly silent, rush for the door.
“You said you wanted a kiss, how would you like to have a little more?” Luna asked as she looked down at Kane.
“As long as it’s casual with no strings attached, and you don’t expect me to wear a suit then I’m fine with going however far you want to go.” Kane told her with a chuckle.
“But first you’ll give me the name of your friend.” Luna told him.
“Fine. His name is Tennant, he’s a pegasus. I’ve worked with him for years and I trust him with my life” Kane told her. “Now let’s get down to business.”
Watch out Luna, a cat's tongue isn't the only part that's barbed!
the shipping
I do hope Luna knows that cat penii are barbed.
is this cannon?
2143333
Well if she didn't before
2143378
yes
XD
2143477 so sparky is fucking celly, wuna is being fucked by a cat, silence is alone, blue blood is a girl, and ethan is likely going mad for so little "contact" with his wife. oh, and something about griffons and such...
(beat.) encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQjeqL5S-yiDNnXPiR3xlRID29JObVtUq6cvkrNCrPtINRIQiXeLw
2143502
Yep, that about sums it up
2143333 Are they really? Those poor cats...
2143543 lovely.
1483469 hey, read this
1498027 you know, unless ethan is judging by his own standers, that's quite the stretching he's got to do...
2143580
You ever hear a cat just wailing all through the night? Now you know why.
tennant.....if his cutie mark is of a time peice then i will find you and i will ki.....ss you
Er... Tennant?
...
As in David?
Is the Doctor an assassin now?
2143652 Thanks for that wonderful imagery, something i really didn't want.
2143767
Shhhhhhhhh. It will all be over soon.
2143776
2143477 She will now though, say, I wonder if a sex goddess can get STDS anyways?
Shiggy Diggy 2013
2143243 2143333 She's a sex goddess, of course she knows!
2144786 Fake
2145114 Shes a PONY sex goddess.
Though I would still check your green thinggy afterwards to see if shes pregnant.
We've both seen stranger crossbreeds.
I don't really like Kane, but each to their own I guess. Anyway, it's always nice to see an update!
Kane is such a hero right now... Score one for the badass cat assassin.
2143652 that sounds like an Alchestbreach reference please tell me if I'm wrong.
2149689
Oh god, I wish.
Tennant... Is that a David Tennant reference potentially?
2167981
YOU SPELLED HIS NAME WRONG YOU BILBOCONGRATULATIONS ON CORRECTLY SPELLING HIS NAME
2169169 Go fuck a duck, I did not!
2169208
What the fuck are you talking about?
2169208
2169227
Play nice you two
2169227 i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/003/087/clvrgrl.jpg
2170427
I TOO POSSESS THE POWERS OF THE EDIT
Edit: You zoomed in to read this? HAHA! I TRICKED YOU! THIS HAS NOTHING OF VALUE! faggot
2170440 I possess the power of COPY-PASTA! MUHAHAHAHA!
2181890 THANK YOU!!! FINALLY SOMEONE WHO AGREES WITH THE TRUTH!!!!!
Have a moustache my good man
darn you trollestia and your being "humane"!
how can you even use that term,you are a pony,humane refers to humans
I'm starting to like Kane.
2364897 hu·mane
(h)yo͞oˈmān/
adjective
1.
• having or showing compassion or benevolence.
"regulations ensuring the humane treatment of animals"
• inflicting the minimum of pain.
"humane methods of killing"
2.
formal
• (of a branch of learning) intended to have a civilizing or refining effect on people.
"the center emphasizes economics as a humane discipline"
Being humane has nothing to do with humans. It is with sentient life in general. Celestia is a sentient life form. Thus, she can be humane.
Phycology (from Greek φῦκος, phykos, "seaweed"; and -λογία, -logia) is the scientific study of algae
since when does blueblood study algae?
and why would that prevent thoughts of revenge?
3630136 Obviously, the changes Luna made will confuse Blueblood, and she will become gradually more obsessed with understanding them as time goes on, eventually reaching the point of spending all of her money on it in one way or another, after which she will quickly run out of bits and try to take up theft and pickpocketing, only to fail miserably, and finally resort to prostitution after nearly starving to death, only to end up with a child to raise, thus leaving her no time to attempt revenge.
Simple.
2086676 Sorry to burst your bubble, but it doesn't work quite as well as you think it does. There's not much room, and it feels a little strange. Plus, it's a bit awkward to use in public, y'know?
4038133 Perfect
Ugh... Is this going to turn into one of those stories that ships every single character possible?
"How would you like a little More?"
...*zzzzi-* *chapter ends*
...MOTHERFUCKER!
2145676
Like a chaos spirit/pony hybrid?
ALL HAIL PANDORA! PRINCESS OF CHAOS!
Great story, but I think you meant physiology not phycology.
And why do you give a fuck what FemBlood is going to do?
9832129
Because if Blueblood pulls something as a guard it’s fairly likely he’s going to be one of the people sent to deal with the mess