Storm Surfing

Just a little scene I wanted to get out of my head. It'll hopefully be part of my OC story and I don't think this chapter gives away too much of the main plot. Most likely very rough and not as 'meaty' as a finished one would be but hey, this is a trial to get it out of my head.

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Comments ( 12 )

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Willow Arqueiro

Willow Arqueiro #1 · Oct 20th, 2012 · · ·

Yes it's rough, I'll add more to this scene whenever I write the rest of the story

Arkenai

Arkenai #2 · Oct 21st, 2012 · · ·

Hrm.

How in the hail does she do that?[i/] wondered Knight Wing. He tried mirroring her moves and clumsily flopped around in the sky, being tossed around by the unpredictable winds.

You broke an italics thing here.

Close Damnit![i/]. As the wind burst died down, Knight Wing snapped his wings shut and plummeted earthwards.

And here.

ome back to me alive and in one piece and there's more where that came from."

I think you missed a 'C' at the start here.

I can't see things other than these three though. I didn't look at it in too much depth, but it seems that your grammar and spelling are solid.

Please do write the rest of this fic though, it seems a tad bit odd to just post a random scene as a standalone, particularly as a lot of the effect is lost through not having buildup.

Thumbs up. Also, I seem to be the second view . Hopefully you won't get too much negativity from people who don't like the standalone thing.