Chapter Only

“Common buddy. I know what she did. I’m her dad now, after all. She said she was sorry and she won’t do it again.” Alex told the owner of the bowling alley. “Trust me, I won’t let her misbehave.”

The owner of the alley looks down at the orange filly, then back at Alex, then noticed Rainbow Dash. Alex only glanced at his wife’s face and noticed the glare. That glare. It spoke a thousand words, and this time it meant ‘you had better not hurt my daughter’s feelings, if you know what’s good for you’.

The older stallion gulped. “Well, if you two are keeping her in order, then I don’t see a problem. Three games at alley fourteen.” He quickly hooves the score-cards to Alex.

Alex grins at the rainbow colored mare and brushes a hand across her mane. “Have I told you that you’re an awesome wife?”

“Lot's a times. Tell me again.” She winked, giving Alex’s hand a kiss.

“I just did.” The human grinned.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes and decided to get her parents out of their luvy-duvy spasm before they embarrass her. “Dash-er-mom,” Scoots paused feeling warm inside. Every time she said that, it felt wonderful. It once made her cry happy tears knowing she had a mom and dad again. “So what ball should I get?” She regained her composure.

Dash grinned. “Okay squirt. Let’s make sure it weighs right and the teeth grip has a good fit.” She blinked. “Wait, uh, big guy. How are you bowling?”

“Oh, don’t worry. I have a custom order I’m getting made. You two get ready. I’ll join you in a sec.” Alex headed to the bowling-ball craftsman. “Hey there!”

The burly-looking stallion looked up from what he was doing. “Been expecting you. Your ball is ready. Just give me a minute to finish what I’m doing and I’ll get your three-holed griffin ball polished and ready.”

Alex nodded curtly and waited until he overheard something...strangely familiar.

“Bucking biped, colt. That guy can roll, colt.”

“Yeah, but he’s an alien, Dude.”

“Yeah.”

“No, I mean out of this realm. Like, his species isn’t of this universe, dude.”

“Oh!”

“Yeah, they say he travels from place to place. Settin’ up shop here now.”

“What’s a…universe, General?”

“Shut up, Chief.”

There were days Alex cursed his hearing for picking up conversations.

“Ball is ready.” Said the burly stallion.

“Thanks dude.” Alex said with a little quoting of Dash.

“No, that isn’t me.” The bowling-smith said.

“Huh?” Alex raised an eyebrow.

“The dude.” The pony replied.

“What dude?”

“No, not me, him.” The stallion pointed a hoof in the direction of three Earth-ponies bowling next to alley fourteen.

“I’m not following you here.” Alex blinked, totally confused what this stallion was getting at.

“Oh, you’re new here. Okay, those three guys next to your lane...oh nevermind. Let me know if your having trouble with the ball.” The colt dismissed Alex.

Alex shrugged and got to his lane. “Okay, my princesses, just F.Y.I., I haven’t bowled in a while, so I’m gonna be pretty rusty. But feel free to laugh at my fumbling.” Alex smiled as he sat down.

Dash grinned. “You can always ask Iron Will to coach you. He’s got fingers like you.” She pointed at a flyer with Iron Will teaching bowling.

Alex blinked and recalled Fluttershy’s story about Iron Will’s so-called motivational speaking, and decided to pass on that. “No thanks. I don’t want to end up breaking the bowling alley.”

Dash chuckled as her adopted-daughter picked up her ball with her mouth and got into position. “Okay squirt, like I showed you, a short dash and let it go.”

Scootaloo took a deep breath and pushed with her hind legs as hard as possible then did an instant stop at the line, there she let go of her ball. It skidded on the lane before it finally achieved friction to begin rolling, veering off slightly to the left and hitting three pins. Scoots face turned as happy and as wide eyed as on the day Alex and Dash signed the adoption papers. “YAY!” She hopped off the ground and slightly hovered in excitement.

Alex and Dash applauded. “Congrats Scoots! Lets see you knock the rest of em down!” Alex cheered his daughter.

Scoot’s next shot yielded only two more pins this time, much to her disappointment. Still, Alex’s two misses made her feel slightly better, if only for a moment before she felt slightly bad for her dad’s first try. And of course, Dash was pretty good, having picked up the spare on her first.

“Daddy? What are you trying to do when you...twist your hand like that?”

Alex smiled and explained to his little filly. “Well you see Scoots, you and Dash are trying to push that ball into the pins from the right angle. We humans have flexible hands so I’m trying to put a spin on the ball.”

Dash cocked her head. “Okay big guy, you’ve lost me. What do you mean by spin?”

Alex picked up his ball. “When a human bowls, he can do what your doing and just try to hit the pins from the right angle. But some can flick their wrist right before they let go the ball to make it role at a different angle, which will cause the ball to turn a bit while it’s rolling. So if I send the ball that way...” He pointed towards the very right side of the pins, “...then twist my wrist the ball will turn and hit the pins dead center.”

“Um...dad why not just hit the pins...center,” She didn’t want to say the word ‘dead,’ “like we are. Why the fancy stuff?”

“Cause the spin also adds more striking power, so I can smash through those pins.” He had looked this up on his laptop earlier for a better game.

Dash smirked. “You and Twilight came up with this?”

Alex laughed before Scoots began her next. He thought for a moment about the variation back in Canada: five pin; then told Dash about it. He’ll suggest it to the manager before they leave.

Their first round of games yielded improvements from Alex and Scootaloo. Dash, of course, was doing pretty well, though her competitiveness was starting to shine through. Alex reminded her to keep it in check, of course. This was a day for fun, not competing. “Hm...got a 100, not bad. Well Scoots you and your dad are running neck and neck.” He grinned he said and patted her head.

Scoots smiled proudly. “Can I get a soda, daddy?”

Alex nodded. “Sure, pumpkin.” He passed her some bits and she went to the bartender for a soda.

Alex laid back and turned to see their lane-mates next to them, noting they were playing pretty well. He had manage to tune out their conversation, which largely didn’t make much sense. He wondered if these guys were even listening to each other. Still, two of them sounded so oddly familiar, like something he had heard from home. Now he couldn’t tune them out.

“Hey Dude, your white-Stalliongrad and salt.” Said the guy who’s name was ‘Chief.’

The ‘Dude,’ sat down in the seat next to Alex and sipped his drink before taking a bit of salt. Alex forgot he was staring at these guys. He realized now the feeling he was getting from all this was...nostalgia? But from what, ‘John Candy?’ Nope. It’ll come to me.

The Dude then looked in his direction in a seemingly apathetic manner. Alex then realized he had been staring and thought quickly to save himself the embarrassment.

“How you doing, Dude?” The human meant dude as a casual term of endearment but forgot that was apparently the colt’s name.

“Not too good, colt.” Dude said in his same demeanor.

“One of those days, huh?” Alex decided to make some small talk.

“Yeah.” The colt replied.

“When it rains, it pours, huh?” Alex said.

“Bucking right on that, colt. That a thing of your kind?” The Dude nodded and took another shot of salt.

“You can say that.” Alex said. “What do you do for a living?”

“Retired, colt. I bowl, I trot around town, occasional trauma flashback.” He said nonchalantly.

Alex bit his lip and didn’t know how to respond to that. He was still dealing with his trauma but to meet someone else with the same problem? His hesitation was interrupted when the colt spoke again.

“Well colt, I know you bucking stand out around these parts, but I dig your style. Even with those bucking threads you wear.” The Dude looked back.

Alex realized how much this colt was swearing. In fact he pretty much had a dirtier mouth than Dash had when she was angry. Normally he wouldn’t mind but he had a kid coming back with her soda and didn’t want Scoots to adopt such a habit. “Thanks. I like your relaxed nature. Just one thing, since I’m here with a kid, do you have to say so many curse words?”

The colt looked at Alex with a half-smile, his manner hadn’t changed at all. “The buck you talking about, colt?”

Alex sighed and decided not to make an issue out of this. This colt was taking in salt and he had two friends, plus he promised the manager there would be no shenanigans. “Never mind, Dude. Have it your way.” He normally would be more assertive but oh well. They can change lanes.

Alex returned to his lane to find Dash had gone to the bar. No doubt for some sarsaparilla. About a moment after he got a seven-ten split (but hey, he knocked down some pins), he noticed the bigger colt next to their lane: the one called ‘General’ whom wore that shirt and vest and goofy glasses; raising his voice as he returned to his lane.

“That ain’t right!” He shouted and took a gulp out of his tankard of cider and slammed it down, shaking the table.

“What are you talking about General?” The Dude asked.

“What?” The General responded as if he wasn’t even paying attention.

“What ain’t right, colt?” The Dude asked.

“Ain’t right? Telling me Celestia’s Guard ain’t got nothing on Cloudsdale’s guard! That just ain’t right!” The General grumbled.

“Cloudsdale has its own Guard?” Asked what Alex had later concluded was a very absent minded Earth-pony, maybe that Chief fella they mentioned earlier.

“Dammit Chief, you go around criticizing Equestria’s best, that ain’t right! When I think of my brothers covered in pie toppings!” General replied shaking his head.

“I’m not talking about Celestia’s guards, I’m talking about Cloudsdale.” Chief replied.

The Dude then cut in. “Woah, so Cloudsdale has its own guard?”

“What? I’m not talking about Cloudsdale’s guard. I’m talking about drawing a line here. That line has been crossed.” The General replied.

“What’s he talking about?” The Dude asked the Chief.

It was like watching a group of stoners trying to have a coherent conversation, Alex thought. Then a rather annoyed Rainbow Dash rolling her eyes in the direction of those three older colts sat next to him.

“What, pray tell, happened?” Alex whispered.

Dash, not one for subtlety answered. “I was just complementing my home guard, y’know? Then this colt lost his cool!” Alex was pretty sure the General had heard that.

“Hey, keep your voice down. It sounds like you got under somepony’s hide.” Alex knew well tact wasn’t Dash’s strong suits.

Dash flashed an annoyed look, but took a deep breath, seeing as Scootaloo was bowling and didn’t want to be a bad influence. “Alright I might have said the royal guard was better at being statues than actual guards.”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “That’s all?”

Dash rolled her eyes again. “Aaaand I may have said their Flyball team couldn’t play their way out of a cirrus cloud.”

Alex snickered at that one. “First, good one.” Dash grinned, but then Alex got serious. “Second, is that the reason the big guy there is getting angsty?”

Dash shrugged. “Those three hang here all the time. They’re supposed to be retired vets. I got nothing against them. I respect our guards for what they do. But the dude really needs a thicker hide.”

“What, the Dude?” Alex asked for clarification, pointing at The Dude.

“No, that dude.” She pointed a hoof at the group. Hooves just weren’t good for pointing things out in a cluster.

“You pointed to the Dude or that Dude?” He pointed to the Dude first, then the general.

“Huh? The guy in the goofy shirt!” She clarified.

That caught the General’s attention. “Alright, that does it. Nopony makes fun the Chief’s shirts but me!”

The Chief face hoofed, knowing full well the pegasus was actually speaking about the General.

“I think its time we settle this. You got, what, two games? Fine, we’ll match it. Best out of two! Looser apologizes. No, writes a letter of apology. No, uh...a placard! Yeah, funds a placard for that theater place that’s going up. A placard honoring the guard! Hows about them carrots?” The General pointed a hoof at Dash.

“And buys the other team a round.” The Dude said in his persistent demeanor after finishing white-stalliongrad, a twinkle of opportunity in his eye, Alex noticed.

Alex, however, was less willing. “Woah woah, guys. We were actually about to...”

“Dude, General. This is just a family and stuff.” The Chief tried to reason, albeit lazily.

“You got yourself a match! My family versus you three!” Replied Dash before Alex could finish.

“Your out of your element Chief! This is about honor for our brothers in armor!” The General passionately shot his friend down.

Alex looked up, praying Celestia save them from this....no answer. Luna? ...nothing. Cadence?

...Sorry, your Princess of Love cannot come to the divine answer board today. But your patronage is important to me. Please hold your prayer in your heart and the right choice will be revealed to you. Thank you...

...did that really happen?!? Alex blinked. After that moment of...divine revelation, Alex felt a tug on his shorts. He looked down to Scootaloo who was smiling pretty gingerly. “We’re gonna win, right daddy?! Come on! Show em your curve ball trick!” Great, first his wife gets into her competitive mode and now his daughter wants him to be a hero. There was no getting out of this now. How can this get any worse?

“Mares and gentlecolts, a competition between the patrons of Lane Fourteen and Fifteen has begun and we are taking bets!” Sounded off the manager.

Alex’s eye twitched.

And so the first round began. A small crowd formed around the neighboring lanes as they watched the bowling competition begin. The Chief successfully picked up the spare, while Dash got a strike, albeit breaking some pins in the process. That was Dash all over, strongest when competing. The General took his turn like a soldier stepping up into the battlefield. It was kinda cool to watch, Alex admitted.

He could understand this guy. He had grown up on military bases, after all. Air Force vs. Army hockey games was the past-time that his dad and his fellow soldiers took seriously. This was serious business to the stallion. The General got a 7 - 10 split but through his cunning managed to pick up the spare. Then came Alex’s turn. Trial and error was all he had to get this right. He sent the ball on its semi-spinning path and managed to get all but one pin.

“Yeah, Alex! You show em!” Dash cheered her husband.

Alex grinned like a fool. Okay, this was kinda fun. He stepped up for his second shot but got distracted by the loudest YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH he heard in his life, shouted from the huge, white muscle-bound pegasus he knew was Snowflake. He stumbled and his ball sailed into the other lane striking out the pins!

The Dude grinned, but didn’t laugh. “Nice shot, colt. Thanks.” Then jotted down a strike for himself.

Oh. Now. It. Is. On. Alex swallowed his embarrassment and picked up the spare on his next shot.

The first game finished with the three Earth-ponies in the lead by five. Alex’s team had to get six or higher next game or loose. Dash spent the time during the break to give a dramatic speech of encouragement to her teammates.

“Never give in! Never give up, said my flight instructor!” Dash paced side to side, wings extended.

Alex listened and officially decided: he was living an episode of the show now. Though, he could see their opponents were just relaxing in their usual demeanor, with the General eyeing Dash like he was sizing up a respected rival commander.

“So are we ready to conquer?!?” Dash asked.

“YEAH!” Shouted Scootaloo as she jumped in excited glee.

Alex took that as his cue to simply salute. “Go us.” He smiled.

Next game began as the cheering crowd got bigger. Pinkie Pie arrived and started cheering her friends. Alex sat down after his first bowl (another spare) before he heard a fog-horn from behind. After the short ringing in his ears ended, he turned towards the pink culprit.

“GAH! Pinkie!” He scolded.

“Oops!” She giggled meekly. “Sorry, figured you three could use some moral support. You’re up against some professionals. Well, technically retired professionals, but still they are-”

“Pinkie,” He gently stopped her before she could continue and pointed to her apparel: Hat, t-shirt, and a flag with the team name “Rainbow Strike” on it. They were very well made, he admitted. “Where did you get these? I mean, they’re pretty cool but...”

“Oh! Well me and Whooves were here investiga...er...browsing for bowling balls,” She looked away innocently, “When we saw you three got challenged by them.” She pointed a hoof to their opponents. “And no team can’t not go without paraphernalia.” She giggled.

Dash bowled another strike. Pinkie cheered. “WOOHOO!” She waved a foamy finger she pulled out from nowhere. “GO TEAM RAINBOW STRIKE!” Where she got a foamy finger Alex didn’t question.

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Where did you...how? Who made...”

“Rarity and Elusive silly! They’re selling them to the crowd right now. Here.” Pinkie put a team ball-cap on his head as Alex looked to see Rarity with the help of Spike selling what no doubt were more merchandise. Elusive on the other side was doing the same, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Alex rolled his eyes but chuckled. Any other developments I should be aware of? He thought to himself.

“It ain’t a delicious hoe-down without some delicious treats! Come an’ get em! Straight from Apple Acres!” Alex overheard his adopted sister calling out.

Eeyup. Should have expected that. He thought and returned to his lane when their daughter finally bowled her first strike. The ball hit the pins center-left but the impact directed it to curve around causing the other pins to fall down.

“CUTIE MARK BOWLERS! YAY!” Sweetie Bell and Apple Bloom as they cheered their friend. Sapphire hopped up with them smiling brightly.

“Daddy! I did it! I got a strike!” She hopped into Alex arms, nearly knocking the wind of out the poor human, but Alex managed to keep his composure and hugged his daughter.

“Proud of you pumpkin!” He hugged her back. What am I getting all weirded out for? He thought. We’re having fun. That's all that matters.

It was near the end of the second game. Each player had their last two-to-three shots. Dash stepped up and did her first. She spread her wings and decided to pull off a trick to guarantee her ball would strike those pins for the triple-X. She grinned hearing Alex and Scootaloo cheer her on and in a single flap of her wings and kicking off her hooves, sent the ball flying forward. It was practically an inch off the lane before it demolished the pins.

“Awe yeah, that was awesome!” Dash did a victory trot to pick up her ball.

Suddenly the General stood. “Wait a minute. Wings? No way. That ain’t in the rules. Mark that a zero.”

“Are you serious?!” Dash scowled. “There isn’t any rule saying I can’t use them!” She stuck her tongue out.

“Miss, you are entering a world of pie. That’s cheating!” The General retorted.

“Woah, General, no pie.” The Chief intervened.

“General, cool it, colt.” The Dude mildly said, but stayed seated.

“Hey now, she’s right. There is nothing saying she can’t do that. You should have-” Alex tried to keep things cool as the crowd was getting a bit anxious at this new development.

“Whats was that? Tell me he didn’t just threaten to pie me!” Dash interrupted Alex snarling.

The General took a pie off the table. “I’m saving that, colt!” Protested the Dude.

“Don’t you be using my pies for that!” Applejack was about to jump in before Alex held up a hand to keep her from escalating this further.

“Am I the only guy here who still follows the rules?” The old colt stepped forward but Alex, being the selfless fool he knew he was being (being pied was far from the most dangerous thing to him in this world, compared to everything else he has been through) stood in between him and Dash.

“With all due respect, sir.” Alex stared right into the General’s eyes like was addressing a superior officer. “The rules do not say she could use her wings, but they do not say she can’t. You challenged us as is, you didn’t specify no wings. Should we ban my hands too?”

“You think you can relate to me son? You can talk like a soldier, but you don’t have the-” The General was cut off when Alex reached behind him and grabbed this trusty knife.

‘PIE.SERVER’, he thought as he pulled it out. The General stood dumbfounded expecting something else, a weapon, but this? He then watched as Alex cut himself a slice of Applejacks crumb-apple pie that he liked so much and bit into the slice, the crowd gasped. He felt pretty silly but whatever the gesture meant to ponykind must be big.

“Delicious, sis, as always.” He grinned. He could see AJ grin at his brother’s audacity. Elusive shared her grin and winked at Alex, assuring him whatever he did was a good idea. Alex then turned back to the General waiting for his response.

You could have heard a pin drop. Even the air conditioning chose this moment to be silent.

“Well...I guess I did overreact.” The General felt this guy had guts, big time. Oh, he acknowledged Dash was headstrong and steadfast, but this guy. He put the pie back on the table.

Alex then looked back at the The General with a smile. “I only like a fair fight in contests. Tell you what, I will ask Dash to not use her wings going forward. Does that sound fair, sir?”

Dash snorted but looking at Alex and recognizing his nature to keep things reasonable, she folded her wings. “Okay, fine. No more wings.”

The General said nothing but nodded and sat back down.

“What the heck, colt? My bucking pie!” The Dude’s voice broke the silence.

“Stuff goes to your flanks anyways, Dude.” The Chief interjected.

“Yeah well, that’s like, your opinion, colt.” The Dude muttered.

Alex sat and gestured Scoots to take her turn. Dash looked at Alex with grin, but said nothing. Her looks could speak million words. He wasn’t sure what it meant this time. But he’ll ask what she was thinking then when they got home. The crowd resumed their cheering as she and the Chief bowled. Sadly, Scoots was still bowling against a colt who does it on a daily basis. So they were behind. It all fell on Alex. Alex and the Dude were up.

The two looked at each other. The Dude kept that relax demeanor. “You know I’m the one building that theater.” Alex said.

The two grinned at each other. “That so, colt?” The Dude replied.

“Yep. How about this? You guys win or loose, I’ll throw in a bonus. Free admission to the theater.” Alex said as the crowd kept cheering.

The Dude chuckled. “How about free drinks instead?”

Alex laughed. “No can do. Free admission. Win or loose. That acceptable?”

The Dude grinned and picked up his ball. “The Dude abides, colt.” He stepped up and bowled. Two pins, spare, strike. A hard score to beat. Alex would need at least two strikes to get ahead.

Alex smiled back to Dash. Dash wasn’t cheering, just still grinning confidently to him. He turned to Scoots who was cheering with her friends. Time to for moment of truth. First bowl...

...a strike! The crowd went wild!

Alex picked up his ball and tried something new. This time he emphasized more power than spin. If time could slow down for a dramatic finish, this would be ten times more awesome. But oh well. The ball was sent on its course. Sailing towards the pins...the crowds anticipation for the finish was carried into their cheers. For that moment, Alex felt a better, nicer exhilaration. He was having fun, real fun. Not life threatening, but a rush of excitement...and the moment of truth...

…

The crowd fanned out after the game was over. Some walked away with extra bits, others didn’t. Rarity, AJ, and Pinkie Pie along with Whooves, Spike, and Elusive stayed with Alex and his wife and kid.

“Now that placard will be bronzed. Not that fancy gold stuff. Written with our motto. For Harmony and Peace.” Said the General. “You got that?”

Dash grumbled. “It needs to be twenty percent cooler.” She said. “Gold wreath around it. I’m not funding anything lame.” She gave the General a friendly look of defiance.

The General snorted, but smirked. “That’s acceptable.”

“Well, that was certainly fun, eh?” Alex asked everyone.

The Chief simply nodded.

“But we didn’t win.” Scootaloo frowned.

Alex sighed but smiled. “Pumpkin, we just played a great game and are now giving the guys a gift. Its not always about winning. Its about having fun, giving it your best and doing better the next time.” He ruffled her mane a bit. “That sound better?”

Scoots thought a moment, then answered. “Yeah, that’s okay.” She then got a bright idea and went to her friends as they huddled in whisper. A moment later they all nodded. “CUTIE MARK PLACARD MAKERS! YAY!” The four did a leaping high-hoof.

The Dude cleared his throat. “That’ll be twenty bits for our evening round, colt.” He grinned and raised an empty glass.

“You know, this may sound weird.” Alex said counting the bits. “But I feel as if I heard you guys before. And trust me, this my first time meeting you.”

The Dude shrugged. “Maybe there’s like, a Dude in your universe, colt.” He took the money. “C’ya around.” That was the other two’s cue to depart for the bar with a very satisfied manager counting his money.

“Come back anytime you three!” He waved with a stupid grin on his face.

The rest stepped out after bidding farewells for crazy, but fun night. Human, pegasus, and filly returned to Alex’s house. First, they put Scootaloo to bed. With Rainbow Dash giving Scootaloo the biggest hug ever for playing her hardest.

“Alex was right, y’know squirt? I don’t like loosing, but loosing isn’t the end of the fun.” She grinned and kissed her forehead. “Oh yeah, and no cursing like you were hearing.”

Scootaloo giggled. “Yes, mom.” She yawned. “Good night.” The filly closed her eyes, having no more energy to stay awake.

Dash yawned as she saw Alex was downstairs in the living-room on his laptop.

“What are you looking at this time?” She trotted down and with a few wing beats, sat herself on the couch next to him. She put a wing softly against his back, rubbing it to help Alex relax, laying her head against his arm.

Alex smiled and put an arm around her and kissed her cheek, but she preempted him and met his lips. They lingered into that kiss for a moment and looked at each other smiling. “So what were you grinning at me for back then, huh?”

Dash giggled. “Seeing my awesome stallion getting into the game was pretty hot.” She grinned. “And no, its not my week yet, you big goof.” She ruffled his hair playfully, drawing a chuckle from Alex. “But its great when you step out of your shell.”

Alex laughed, albeit not so loud to not wake up Scootaloo. “Well, you got us into it.” He poked her on the nose, as Dash tried fending it off giggling. “But yeah, it was fun, and exciting. A nice change from the danger and all that jazz.” He felt her snuggle closer.

“Heck yeah. Now what are looking at your laptop for?” Dash asked again.

“Oh, something about those guys got me thinking. It felt...nostalgic. Like I met, no heard some folks like them before.”

“You did grow up around the army.” Dash pointed out. “Maybe you met a few vets?”

“I met lots, but not like these guys...I think.” Alex would normally browse mlp:fim-wiki to find out of those three were characters but that could take hours. “Hang on.” He then typed into google: “‘friendship is magic ‘the dude abides.’”

Then suddenly popped up a picture of the three. Oh sure, they were more cartoonish than in real life, but there they were. But the text below got Alex’s attention as he stared in amazement. “No, way.” He said below his breath.

“What? So they’re there. So are the rest of us.” Dash rolled her eyes. “Is there anypony that creepy show doesn’t have?”

“Um...Dash, let me show you something.” The human typed something else into google with a twinkle in his eye, then clicked on the youtube link. (WARNING! FOUL LANGUAGE PRESENT IN THE VIDEO!)

It took a minute listening to John Goodman’s and Jeff Bridges’s dialogue before Dash faced the monitor slack-jawed. “NO BUCKING WAY!”

-fin

OKAY SO NO DOUBT SEVERAL READERS HAVE QUESTIONS. KEEPING ‘THE DUDE’ NAMED ‘THE DUDE’ IS PRETTY OBVIOUS. I MEAN, COMMON ITS THE DUDE, MAN.

BUT WALTER AND DONNY? WHY NAME THEM GENERAL AND CHIEF? DONNY IS A DERIVATIVE OF DONALD. BOTH NAMES HAVE ALTERNATIVE MEANINGS. SO I LOOKED UP WHAT WALTER MEANS, AND IT SAID ‘GENERAL’ (AS IN COMMANDING GENERAL) AND DONALD MEANS CHIEF. SO GIVEN THAT THE ORIGINAL CHARACTER PLAYED BY JOHN GOODMAN WAS SOME CRAZY DUDE ALL ABOUT BEING A FORMER VETERAN FROM VIETNAM, I DECIDED, WHAT THE HECK, MAKE THESE THREE PONIFIED CHARACTERS ‘ACTUAL’ VETS FOR STORY PURPOSES.

THIS STORY WAS PRETTY MUCH A SCENARIO I JUST COOKED UP IN MY HEAD FOR COMICAL PURPOSES AND BECAUSE I LOVE TECHOGRE’S MEMOIRS OF A REALITY JUMPER SO MUCH, WELL, YOU SEE THE RESULT. :-D

ALSO, COLT, IS AN ANALOGUE FOR ‘MAN.’ I.E.: “THAT’S LIKE, YOUR OPINION, MAN” BUT THESE ARE PONIES, NOT HUMANS. SO COLT HAD TO SUFFICE.

ALL THAT BEING SAID:

-THANKS TO TECHOGRE FOR HIS APPROVAL AND EDITING, AS WELL AS HIS FANFIC
-THANKS TO KMCA’S MORAL SUPPORT AND EDITING, AS WELL AS HIS FANFIC
-THANKS TO GRAMERCY PICTURES FOR ‘THE BIG LEBOWSKI’ AND NOT SUING ME FOR WRITING THIS FANFIC
-THANKS TO JOHN GOODMAN AND JEFF BRIDGES AND WHOEVER PLAYED DONNY FOR PLAYING AWESOME CHARACTERS THAT LEFT ME ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING IN A PUBLIC MOVIE THEATER ON OPENING NIGHT
-AND THANKS TO YOU, THE READER!