Twilight and Pinkie's Awkward Date

by Pony-Berserker

The Most Awkward Date

“Cupcakes? Check! Punch? Check! Balloons? Check! A bottle for ‘Spin the bottle’? Check! Phew! That’s the last thing on the checklist,” said Pinkie Pie as she showed Twilight the agenda.

“You see, Pinkie? Twilight said, grinning. "A good checklist makes everything easier."

“I don’t get it, Twilight.” Pinkie was slightly confused. “Why do I need a checklist. I always know what I need to prepare for a party and I keep that in my head.”

“Um...” Twilight felt embarassed but she managed to make an awkward grin. “Yeah... Memorizing can sometimes work too until you forget something.”

“My parties usually need just several things, Twilight. How could I forget about them?” Pinkie inquired.

“You know,” Twilight said, taking the checklist and crumpling it up. “Checklists are usually used by well-organized ponies. You don’t need them.”

Pinkie frowned and stared at her friend for a while. “Do you say I’m not well-organized?” she asked.

“Um... No, no, no. I didn’t say that,” Twilight wished she could teleport out of Sugar Cube Corner. She thought for a while, facehoofed and then teleported out of the confectionery.

Pinkie folded her forelegs on her chest and groaned.

Twilight appeared just next to Sugar Cube Corner but she was out of Pinkie’s reach. She sighed and started to trot home. How many times more was she going to embarass herself in social activities. Apparently, advices from the book did not work well in reality. She read that a good friend should always be ready to give an adivce to smeone else. Either the book was wrong, or the advice was not good.

Twilight arrived at the library. She opened the door and...

“How long shall I wait!?” Pinkie shouted at her.

“Gaaah! How? When? What!?” Twilight was so startled that she flinched and fell on the ground.

“Twilight! You, you, you insulted me! I’m not that stupid. How could you do that!?” Pinkie was on the edge of crying. That confused Twilight as Pinkie was rather angry when she left her in Sugar Cube Corner. The unicorn had always suspected that her friend suffered from a bi-polar disorder she had read about in one book.

“Well, I’m sorry, Pinkie. I’d just thought I could help you,” Twilight felt awful. She looked away from Pinkie and took a deep breath.

“Oh, Twilight. You never learn, huh?” Pinkie was in normal mood again.

“Y’all not gonna believe!” Applejack shouted as she trotted up to her friends. “Big Mac asked Rarity out!”

“What!?” Twilight and Pinkie could not believe and were visibly shocked.

“Yep, he just went to her and did it! Rarity was so shocked she couldn’t say no!” Applejack said excitedly.

“Oh, that’s... great,” Pinkie let a small grin appear on her face but she quickly saddened.

“Well, that was unexpected,” Twilight said.

“Y’all don’t seem to be happy ‘bout that,” Applejack remarked.

Pinkie and Twilight instantly protested and assured her friend that they are happy for Big Mac. Applejack was not so sure about that but she finally shrugged and trotted away.

“You look concerned, Pinkie,” Twilight said. “Don’t tell me you had a crush on...”

“No, no, no, no ,no!” Pinkie suddenly brisked up. “Twilight, please. Me and Big Mac? I wouldn’t date him even if he was the last stallion in Equestria.”

“Well,” Twilight hesitated if she should continue but after a moment she added: “Maybe you like, you know, Rarity?”

Pinkie jumped as if something stung her. “Are you crazy Twilight!? I don’t swing that way!” she shouted at her friend.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I should really stop talking!” Twilight blushed and nervously closed her eyes. She couldn’t look in Pinkie’s eyes. She was ashamed of her behaviour toward her friend this day.

“If you want to know, I’m just jealous,” Pinkie said. “Well, I hope they make a great couple and so on but...” Pinkie sighed and started to bit her lip.

“What’s that, Pinkie?” Twilight was curious.

“It’s that I haven’t dated anyone since, um, I remember,” Pinkie said and started to sob.

“How’s that even possible?” Twilight couldn’t believe her ears. “You party nearly every night. You should have already met somepony you could date!”

“Yeah but I’m always busy with organizing parties and assuring myself that everyone has a good time that I don’t have time to meet anypony,” Pinkie said sadly.

“Oh, Pinkie. You will finally meet somepony at some other occasion. Besides, you are not alone. Spike has never dated anyone as well.” Twilight grinned.

“AAAAAH! HOW COULD YOU!?” Spike, who overheard the conversation, shouted from inside of the library. He ran upstairs to his basket and hid under a blanket.

“Do you want to tell me that you have dated somepony?” Pinkie didn’t expect that from Twilight.

“Yes,” Twilight said proudly. “But it was long ago.”

Pinkie gazed blankly at Twilight and then cried loudly.

“Um, Pinkie. Please, stop! Please!” Twilight asked Pinkie and then looked around as if looking for some help. “It’s all my fault! That was not an okay thing to say to you! Stop crying and I will do whatever you want, just stop crying!”

Pinkie stopped crying instantly. “Everything?” she asked.

“Well, yes,” Twilight answered with a smile.

“Ok, then date me!” Pinkie said happily.

“Say what!?” Twilight sat on her hindquarters in disbelief.

“Date me!” Pinkie was till grinning.

“But, but, but, you said you didn’t swing that way!” Twilight tried to refuse on the proposal.

“Well, yeah but you are an egghead who couldn’t help me find a stallion to date but you can actually date me!” Pinkie giggled. “This way I won’t be sad that I haven’t dated anypony. Besides, when was the last time you dated somepony?”

“Um, well,” Twilight tried to avoid eye contact with Pinkie. Because she couldn’t find a good answer, she finally gave up. “All right, Pinkie. I’ll date you,” she said resignedly and added nervously: “But nopony can know!”

Pinkie frowned. “Twilight! How could I date somepony who doesn’t want to be seen with me?”

“So, maybe date Spike then?”

“Please, he is a baby! And a dragon. A relationship between a pony and a dragon would never work out!” Pinkie said as if it was something obvious.

“WHAT DO YOU KNOW!?” Spike shouted angrily from inside of the library.

“What’s got into him?” Pinkie wondered but quickly forgot about the dragon and asked Twilight again: “So, where do you want to go, Twilight?

“Maybe, let’s go indide?” Twilight suggested uncertainly.

“Oh, silly. We can’t do that on our first date!” Pinkie laughed. “Let’s go to the restaurant! I’m gonna pay!”

“Oh, horseapples...” Twilight murmured and followed Pinkie.

Pinkie led Twilight to the restaurant. Both mares sat at a table and waited for the waiter.

“What a lovely place, isn’t it?” Pinkie smiled.

“Uh, Pinkie, we eat here quite often,” Twilight said. She was nervous because she hoped that she won’t be forced to do anything that would reveal the fact she was actually dating Pinkie and not just eating dinner with her.

Unfortunately for Twilight, that fact was revealed very quickly. By Pinkie of course. When the waiter came, he asked what they wanted to eat and then Pinkie exclaimed:

“Something special! This is our first date!” Obviously, many ponies overheard that. Twilight blushed and covered her face with her hooves.

After the waiter had gone, Twilight whispered to Pinkie: “You didn’t have to say that.”

“Oh, silly! What kind of a first date would that be, if we didn’t do something special?” Pinkie asked rhetorically.

Twilight sighed and began overhearing conversations. She couldn’t hear everything exactly and was under the impression that everypony in the restaurant talk about her and Pinkie.

“Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, please make it stop, make it stop,” Twilight murmured with a muzzle under her hooves.

“Twilie, our date has barely started! Oh, look! The waiter is coming!” Pinkie exclaimed.

The waiter brought two plates with a half of a heart made of hay and daffodils on each one. Twilight rolled her eyes and facehoofed. “This is not happening.” She groaned. “It can’t be any...” The unicorn bite her tongue as she realized that every time somepony says that cliche, something worse actually happens.

At that moment Rainbow Dash stormed into the reastaurant. “Dinner time!” Rainbow exclaimed. She saw Twilight and Pinkie. “Hiya, girls!”

“I haven’t finished that sentence!” Twilight yelled. Everypony looked at her. “Don’t look at me!” she said resignedly and covered her muzzle with her hooves.

Rainbow flew up to her friends’ table and what she saw confused her a bit. “Girls? Why are you eating halves of heart?” she giggled. “Are you having a date?” Rainbow waited for her friends’ reaction on her joke but instead of nervous denials, she saw Pinkie Pie grinning and Twilight slowly hiding under the table.

“No way!” Rainbow fell on the ground and began rolling on the floor laughing. After a while she bounced back and asked: “No, girls, are you serious?”

“Yeah! That’s my first date ever!” Pinkie exclaimed and hugged Twilight over the table.

“Pinkie, please... Ponies are watching,” Twilight whispered.

Rainbow looked around nervously. “Oh, I, I, I didn’t know that you two, you know, um, swing the other way, so, um, I’ll be going now, heh,” Rainbow Dash said as she was slowly going back toward the door. When she was close to it, she abruptly flew out of the door with a panick in her eyes.

“Gah, now everypony will know,” Twilight whined.

“That’s great, isn’t it!”

“Pinkie. That was going to be only one date. Not two, not three! One!” Twilight was getting angry.

“Sure thing! The only date!” Pinkie acknowledged the number.

“So why do you want everypony to know that we dated! They’ll think we prefer mares! How are we going to find stallions then!?” Twilight started to breathe deeply.

“Hm... Well, I haven’t thought about it,” Pinkie said, “you should have thought about it. You are the smart one in this couple!”

“We are not a couple!” Twilight yelled.

Everypony looked at them again. One of the clients said: “Why do you embarass your marefriend in public? You should solve your problems at home.” Other ponies present in the restaurants nodded in agreement. “You should apology to Pinkie no matter if you dump her or not.” Ponies made agreeing noises.

Twilight gnashed her teeths, took a deep breath and said softly: “I’m sorry, darling.”

“Oh, that’s nothing, sweetie!” Pinkie smiled.

Everypony in the restaurant started to applaud. Twilight was embarrased as she had never been before. “Please, somepony kill me...” she murmured and... began to eat her meal.

“Great date, isn’t it? Pinkie asked after a while. “Firstly, you didn’t want to go, then everypony stared at us and then applauded. How cool is that?”

“Yeah. Cool,” Twilight answered coldly.

“I’m so happy you enjoy it, Twilight,” Pinkie said calmly. “I always wanted my first date to be fun-tastic! And it is!”

Twilight grinned awkwardly. Well, she was helping her friend after all. She repeated in her mind that she was saving Pinkie from being depressed. It kept her sane.

“All right. Now tell me what you like in me!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Say what?” Twilight was actually too tired to look confused. She just look at Pinkie in disbelief.

“Well, Twilight, you should compliment me. For example, you could say something about my eyes. Or my coat. Or my mane. Do you like my mane?”

“Meh, I like your mane,” Twilight said coldly.

“Oh, you need to put more heart into it!” Pinkie looked leniently at Twilight.

“Gaah, AAAAAAaay looooooooooooove your mane,” Twilight said sarcastically.

“Well, A for an effort.” Pinkie smiled and stuffed her mouth with hay.

Both friends fnished their meals in silence. Pinkie smiled happily all the time, while Twilight was visibly angry and was giving murderous looks around.

“Well, that was great! Now, I should walk you home!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Might I walk you home instead? You live closer to the restaurant,” Twilight asked indifferently. She knew she’s not going to convince Pinkie.

“No, silly! I asked you out and I gotta walk you home! Let’s go!” Pinkie encouraged her friend to leave the restaurant. After they had went out, Pinke quickly returned to pay the bill.

“That’s my chance!” Twilight thought and galloped away. Unfortunately, Pinkie was already waiting for her hidden behind a wooden crate.

“Where are you going, Twilie? We shall WALK home.” Pinkie giggled.

Twilight sighed. “Okay, let’s get this over with.”

Twilight walked slowly toward her house while Pinkie jumped excitedly around her. At one moment they saw Rarity and Big Mac walking from opposite direction. Big Mac looked like the happiest stallion in Equestria while Rarity, well, was horrified. When both ‘couples’ passed each other, Rarity whispered to Twilight: “Help me!”

Twilight understood her friend. That day was a real nightmare but it was going to end. She decided she was going to think later about probable gossips but they were not important right now. She could alredy see her house what made her feel relieved.

When they finally arrived at the door, Twilight took another deep breath and said: “Well, Pinkie. It was the weirdest date ever. I hope you had a good time. And I hope this was our last date.”

“Okie-dokie!” Pinkie exclaimed. „But there is only one thing left!” Pinkie giggled.

“What now?” Twilight groaned.

“Well. I walked you home, right? Then you we need to kiss each other before I leave! That’s how it usually goes!” Pinkie explained joyfully.

“No way! I agreed on the date, I was embarassed in the restaurant and the whole town is gonna gossip about us for weeks! I’m not gonna kiss you!” Twilight shouted in anger.

“Oh, come on, Twilight! You’ve been through so much today! You’re gonna feel better after the kiss!” Pinkie encouraged her friend.

“I said no!”

“Twilie, Twilie! Pleeeeeease! That’s gonna be my first kiss! I think I should kiss someone special!” Pinkie fell on the ground. Her eyes became wet.

Twilight groaned. “For Pinkie,” she thought and said aloud: “One short kiss. And nopony can know.”

“Sure thing!”

Twilight closed her eyes and leaned forward. She felt disgust. She was not into mares at all. But she was not too assertive as well and now she was about to kiss Pinkie.

She felt even more disgust as she touched Pinkie’s mouth. These few seconds seemed to last forever.

“Gotcha!” Pinkie shouted and began laughing.

“What!?” Twilight opened her eyes. She was touching Pinkie’s elbow with her muzzle. “Pinkie!?”

Pinkie laughed hysterically. “I can’t believe, Twilight! You’re so naive! You really thought I was dating you for real!?” Pinkie giggled. “You are such a crack-up! I had a great time! That was like my est joke ever! Well, see you later” Pinkie trotted away laughing.

Twilight stood in place for a longer while. She couldn’t think of anything.

“T’was a... j-j-joke?” she stuttered and after a few seconds, she went into her house. “Gotta read something before I freak out...” she thought and opened the first book in sight.

THE END

Later at Sugar Cube Corner.

“Pinkie, we need to talk,” Mr. Cake said grimly.

“What’s up, Mr. Cake?” Pinkie asked with a grin.

“Well... Our sales went down recently and, um, how to put it delicate... We need to fire you, Pinkie,” he said.

“Oh, silly. You can’t do that!” Pinkie giggled.

“What? I’m the owner!” Mr. Cake frowned.

“Yeah! But, you know, I’m into mares! Everybody’s seen that! If you fire me, that will mean that you discriminate against me! You know what I mean?” Pinkie said jumping excitedly around Mr. Cake.

"Um, You are ggoing to sue me, if I fire you?" he asked uncertainly.

"Exactly!" Pinkie exclaimed and giggled.

“Oh, horseapples...” Mr. Cake said and closed his eyes.

Comments

[John H]

Weird. I do however like the line, "gotta read something before I freak out."

[Snapple Jack]

brb, reviewing.

said Pinkie Pie and showed the list to Twilight.

And? I think that should be Said Pinkie Pie, as she showed Twilight the agenda.

Twilight said, took the checklist from Pinkie and crumpled the paper.

Twilight said, taking the checklist and crumbling it up.

I can tell English isn't your first language... either that or you didn't go back and change the mistakes.

Eh. Not really exciting. Actually kinda boring. Not what I was expecting.

[MikaPurple]

LOL! Pinkie you troll,

[Scribblestick]

I wouldn’t date him even if he was the last stallion in Equestria

Wow... Pinkie's a bully and a jerk in this. Jokes are one thing, but this is public humiliation and borderline harassment. And with that epilogue, it seems like she just completely disregarded Twilight's comfort and dignity for a little job security, which she also uses as a bully. Kind of a terrible friend if you ask me.

gnashed

How biblical.

In all seriousness, there's nothing wrong with your writing, but I just can't get behind this concept.

[Pony-Berserker]

1443333

Pinkie can behave like a real troll. Remember the episode "A friend in deed?" Besides, it's only a fan-fic here.

[Scribblestick]

1445142 Yes, but she always had Cranky's best interests in mind, at least as far as she could tell. She didn't go about it very well, but her intention was always to help him. This... well, it's just a prank, a prank I feel goes too far.

But hey, that's my opinion. I'm certainly not the one who determines which concepts are good and which ones aren't. I just don't happen to like this one. There's at least five people who say otherwise.

[Pony-Berserker]

And those who favourited but didn't rate up

[Fabulous]

Aw bummer. The one time I get to see at least a glimpse of Rarity/Big Mac interaction on a fic and it has to be in that light. I know it's not the real point of the fic, but still

As for the fic itself, it was decent. I did find it funny, if not a bit cruel for Twilight (but hey, someone always get the short end of the stick in comedy). Then the ending came, and it got too cruel. For just a prank, that was a pretty dick move from Pinkie, and the last bit was completely random, in a bad way.

[Pony-Berserker]

1447278

Hey, The Mr. Cake part is an epilogue or "the scene during credits", if compared to TV series. Such parts tend to be random.

[GreyCapstan]

I thought it was alright to start, and I even chuckled a bit during the restaurant scene, but the ending and epilogue kinda killed it for me. I think this would be better if Pinkie was being genuine and the date was stretched out further to add to the comedic embarrassment Twilight has to endure. That's how this random stranger would have written it, anyway.

[Pony-Berserker]

1452318

Opinions seem to vary a lot with a bit more of readers who hated the ending. I'll be honest - I didn't expect the ending will be so controversial. Looks like bronies do notl like Twilight getting trolled/abused/whatever

[GreyCapstan]

1452430 It's not Twilight getting trolled that I didn't like; it's how massively OOC Pinkie turns here. Remember in Griffon The Brushoff, when Gilda pulls that prank on Granny Smith and Pinkie gets mad at her for going too far with it? This is several shades worse than that: She made Twilight into a laughingstock of the town purely for her own amusement. If this happened in the FiM universe, Twilight probably wouldn't want to be friends with her anymore. I certainly wouldn't.

[Pony-Berserker]

1452485

For me, Pinkie is a chaotic neutral character who could do that if needed (she needed to secure her job ) However, I totally understand your point and agree with that anyway I know Pinkie is a bit OOC here.

[GreyCapstan]

1452501 Would you mind if I wrote my own version of this? I'm not trying to outace you or anything like that, but I like the concept and I'd love to put my own spin on it. I'd give you credit, of course. I'd totally understand if you said no, though.

[Pony-Berserker]

1452641

Well, if you want, go for it

[KartalTheWriter]

Well, the concept was good, however a lot of stuff was worded really awkwardly. I can't even tell if I liked it or not. The transitions from scene to scene also seemed really sudden. The tiny bit of characterization we saw with Rarity and Macintosh was interesting and good; in fact, I'd love to know how their date went if you're ever fishing around for an idea anytime in the future. I won't mention the characterization of Pinkie or Twilight or the cruelness of Pinkie's joke. That's been done. But I will say this. Pinkie called Twilight 'Twilie'. Only Shining Armor calls her that. It seemed really weird for Pinkie to call her by that nickname.
Good luck in future works!

[Pony-Berserker]

1468337

Thanks for your feedback

About 'Twilie' - I wanted Pinkie to call Twilight by some diminutive form of her name. But , to be honest, I didn't realize that this is reserved for Shining Armor

If you could give some examples of awkward wording I used, I'd be grateful. People tend to point out that fact but never write what exactly was wrong. How am I going to know that?

[KartalTheWriter]

1468539 Of course. Let's see...
"that I don’t have a time to meet anypony" would take away the "a". It's just not something that's said.
"Twilight asked Pinkie and looked around as if she looked for some help." This just is worded weridly. I'm thinking you meant to say something along the lines of "Twilight asked Pinkie and then looked around as if looking for some help."
"I was not okay toward you!" I'm not exactly sure what you meant to say but this makes no sense. I get she's trying to apologize from context clues, but what I think she means is "That was not an okay thing to say to you!" but I'm just guessing.
"That’s our first date!" Maybe this is picky, but 'that' sounds strange in this context. "That" is usually used for something that isn't directly right there to be talked about. Like "That thing on the other side of the room." as opposed to "This thing, which is right next to me." There are a couple other instances where "that" should be exchanged for "this" for that same reason.

And I don't actually know Armor is the only one to call her that, but no one's called her that before. It's possible after hearing her brother say it Pinkie liked the name enough to use it herself. I see that happening. It's really a matter of opinion. I thought it was an exculsive just to help define their close sibling relationship.
I hope this helped.

[Pony-Berserker]

1468738

Yes, it helped Thanks!

[Meowcakes]

Heh. This is pretty funny! I don't think the joke was cruel. I mean, it was pretty clever actually. Can't fire me, I like mares! Hahah!

[Drifting Heart]

I really dont know how i should feel about this fic. for one everyone was OOC and two i like this ship so if this was in any way trying to piss shippers off....hey at least you didn't pull a sgt sprinkles to make anyone hate the ship. yeah he wrote it because he was sick of pinkiedash being everywhere.

[Zeyon The Green]

Upvote for the ending. Pinkie suing the cakes, wow she covered her bases....

[Phil Srobeighn]

I enjoyed it. I want you to write the Rarimac story going on at the same time, just so I can know if Twilight is right and she's just having a bad time, or if something tagged dark-mature-sex-gore is about to happen.