Twilight sparkle finds a strange stallion in a blue box that appears out of nowhere. He calls himself "The Doctor" and talks in a strange accent. The Doctor takes twilight on an adventure with him, and the journey begins.
Twilight sparkle finds a strange stallion in a blue box that appears out of nowhere. He calls himself "The Doctor" and talks in a strange accent. The Doctor takes twilight on an adventure with him, and the journey begins.
Um... okay, something's wrong.
The descript says
BUT then it says
Now, if it's a man, it should have a 'human' tag and be off my read later list.
If it's a stallion (colt means child, stallion means adult), then it should have the Dr. Whooves tag.
Not trying to upset you, just stating fact.
Looks interesting, will read later.
1435570 I changed it to make more sense now. Thanks for pointing that out. It now says "He"
1435761
Um... you can get rid of the "Other" tag, and put in Dr. Whooves, as well.
'Background Ponies', first row, sixth in from the left.
1436523 oh sorry about that again my mistake i didnt see doctor whooves so i thought he wasnt there
That... was an interesting take on the Doctor Who(oves) thing going on in this site.
Tracking... and following.
Good job Eric we'll make an auther out of you yet.
I personally think the storyline is too fast
exposition seems very forced,
that and the good ole doc doesn't like to talk about his past...
also apparently I am the first reviewer, hunh coo;
Thank Black Jesus you fucking started new paragraphs.
The story runs to fast without closer examination and explanation of what's happening.
Too short, needs to be longer. Like the Tv show.
Too faaasssttt....
I WILL SLAP YOUR SHIT IF YOU DON'T MAKE THESE LONGER
I agree this is to good of a story to make so short
It seems EXTREMELY rushed and not spaced evenly. You have the right idea in my opinion but you need to slow down and space things and explain things better. I also agree with Lord Fowl with the fact that the Doctor isn't really that open about his past. But looks good so far.