I write songs, comedy skits...and apparently fan fiction. ^_^
Set in a different take on Equestria, the story tells of the Dark Lord Princess Celestia, who is seeking the One Ring. The Ring has found its way to the young filly Apple Bloom. The fate of Equestria hangs in the balance as Apple Bloom and eight companions who form the Herd of the Ring begin their journey to Mount Moon in the land of Canterlot, the only place where the Ring can be destroyed.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Dwarficorn is now my new faveroite word.
Only read the first chapter so far, but a few thoughts:
1. for the most part, this is pretty much just a retelling of the original story with names swapped out. I hope in later chapters you put your own spin on it, because I am not really in the mood to reread LotR (again) at the moment. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt at the moment, because you have some how told it in 9 chapters, so I have to assume that there are plenty of differences.
2. wall of text! Did you just copy paste it in? You may want to go through and separate the paragraphs.
3.
Just my thoughts for now. Onwards to chapter 2!
im making this comment BEFORE i finish the chapter, keep in mind.
Im Ever so slightly disappointed you are basing it on the movies, i shall read on, but i shall not let my hopes flare up.
im giving you a thumbs up for a few things, but i dont think ill finish the story
Commentary for chapter 2:
Well, I was going to point out a few more grammar mistakes (calling Apple Bloom a 'him') when I realised that this reads just like the script of the movie, only with names swapped out.
Which is everything I hate in a crossover- characters must, initially, remain true to their canon selves. Twilight must act like Twilight, not Gandalf, Apple Bloom like Apple Bloom, not Frodo.
I don't mind too much about events staying the same, but in my eyes a crossover should show how different characters would react to events- I want to see how Apple Bloom reacts to receiving the ring, not Frodo. I have already read that story.