Great Power. Great Sorrow.

by Aetherlord_Ignus

Great Power

Trixie woke up, she was ready for the Ursa Major to crush her or chew her whatever it was going to do, but she woke up to see Twilight and Nurse Redheart staring down at her.

“Oh, thank Celestia you’re awake,” said Twilight “you’ve been out for 2 days.”

Trixie sat up and looked around. She saw that she was in a hospital room. There were some stuff on the bedside table. There were some balloons, a cake, a Daring Do, a caramel apple and six get-well cards of get well cards. Trixie saw five other ponies as well as spike in the room with her.

“Yay! You’re awake!” yelled Pinkie, “This calls for a party!”

“But. I thought you guys hated me,” said Trixie.

“Well, we were wrong Sugarcube,” said Applejack, “we never should of said any of that.”

“Maybe this will explain it,” said Twilight.

she summoned Trixie’s notebook with her magic and opened it to a page. The page showed Trixie with the 6 other ponies and a dragon, each pony in their picture was signed by that pony, they had each drawn themselves.

“Guys, I, I just don’t know what to say,” tears were welling in Trixie’s eyes.

“Spike, take a letter,” said Twilight.

Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that no matter what type of pony, no matter what his or her reputation is, everypony deserves to be treated with a little love.
Your Faithful Student,
Twiligth Sparkle.

Spike burned the letter and it went to Celestia.

“Now we can party!” Yelled Pinkie as she wheeled a cannon into the room.

Epilogue: 1 year later

Trixie and Twilight were reorganizing books. Trixie’s magic had improved greatly and she was getting nearly as powerful as Twilight.
“I know I’ve said it a lot before,” said Twilight, “but It’s much better to have a second person working the library.”

“Twilight, I never got a chance to ask, what happened to the Ursa after I blacked out?”

“Zecora told us where you were and we found you against the tree. You were having a seizure and you were shooting powerful blasts of magic. You drove the Ursa away.”

“You rescued me even though I won?”

“Trixie, It doesn’t matter if you can pound an Ursa while having a seizure, you still had much to learn.”

Not for the first time and not for the last time, they laughed together.

Comments

[TheCloudtop]

I would suggest taking some time with your writing. Take some time to flesh the characters out and establish the story. If you were to do this, this story would be much better. This has potential, but only if you slow down and take the time to truly flesh out the story. Hope this helps.

[StormyVenture]

Trixie as powerful as Twilight? I think not! I'm not saying Twilight is all powerful, but I think she's a class or two above the average unicorn. Trixie, based on your depiction, is a bit sub average. I think you should address the time between the hospital and a year later in much more detail. Especially, since you jump around a lot in this story, and don't create much atmosphere or reasons for later events to make sense. For instance, casting that much magic evidently caused Trixie to have a seizure. I would think that if she couldn't cast much magic before, that that kind of outburst would really exhaust her and maybe make it hard to cast magic for a while. I don't really recommend incapacitated Trixie, but if that caused a seizure, might it not happen again?

P.S. The writing in the beginning of the story could use some work. It makes no sense for Twilight to ask Trixie about her 'backstory'. That is kind of an out of character term. You should be more specific, is she asking about her childhood, schooling, etc?

[Herpidty Derp]

Take it slow buddy, don't rush it.

[Aetherlord_Ignus]

1444603 This was to make a quick story, I wanted people to read it quickly. I'm trying to build up an image because I have plans for a really long story.

[Aetherlord_Ignus]

I'll write a longer story next time. I just wanted to get this idea out of the way.