Responsibilities

by pyrobug0

Chapter 5

The blinding magical light faded as quickly as it had come, leaving Celestia and Nightmare Moon suspended above the floor of a grand chamber. The displacement spell and sudden loss of ground disoriented Nightmare Moon, and her attack failed to connect. She spread her wings to steady her fall while Celestia moved quickly for the ground. As soon as her hooves touched down, the solar princess wheeled about and charged her magic into a blast at Nightmare Moon. The attack connected, sending the mare of darkness tumbling across the stone floor.

With an opening created, Celestia turned her attention to an intricate pedestal in the center of the room. Five golden arms radiated from its central column, atop each of which rested a large jewel. Closing her eyes, Celestia reached out to the gems with her magic. She felt their energy respond to hers as they began to glow: loyalty, honesty, laughter, generosity, kindness. Their spirit filled hers and she felt the power of harmony course into her. The gems levitated and moved to surround her, their magical energies humming in time with each other. As they came to a halt surrounding her, their glow intensified to a blinding white. The light shrank into a small orb of light atop Celestia’s head. With a flash, the light materialized into a golden tiara with a magnificent amythest gem set into its peak. As the Element of Magic came to a rest on her head, Celestia felt the Elements’ power harmonize with her own. She turned back to face Nightmare Moon, who had managed to regain her feet.

“It’s over, Luna. You can’t win. Nothing can stand against the Elements’ power. Undo this magic you’ve brought upon yourself and surrender.”

Nightmare Moon faced Celestia, finally noticing the jewels that surrounded her. The mask of battle lust drained from her face, replaced by fear and confusion.

“The Elements?” she gasped. “This can’t be...”

“Luna, please. I don’t know what the Elements’ power will do to you, but I will do whatever I must to protect Equestria. Stop this now, before it’s too late. We can put this behind us.”

“What they’ll do to me? What they’ll do to me?!” Nightmare Moon screamed as her magic lashed out towards the Elements in curving tendrils. As they approached, the jewels began to shine brightly. The dark magic deflected off the unyielding light, hissing and falling to the floor like wounded serpents. Slowly, Nightmare Moon retracted her energy. She hung her head silently.

“Why?” she finally whispered. “Why do they all choose you? Even the Elements have abandoned me. No one believes I am fit to rule. No one thinks me worthy of my crown. Not even you.”

“Luna, of course I think you...”

“Stop lying! If I am your equal as princess, why do you turn me away? Why don’t you seek my help in imprisoning Discord? Why am I unworthy of helping you?”

“Discord is my responsibility! He threatens my subjects!”

“They are my subjects too! I have every responsibility to protect them that you have. But you don’t see it that way. You’re the one they adore, the one they turn to. You bring them their precious sun. As far as you’re concerned, you are their queen - their sole caretaker. And I am but some vestigial organ, an unneeded relic to be put on display or discarded whenever you please. And now you’ve even turned the Elements of Harmony against me. The very artifacts you and I created together deny my magic because you will it.

“So be it. If everyone stands against me, then I shall teach them all to fear me.” She reared up, her magic once more springing to life and churning around her in a storm of rage. When she spoke again, her voice thundered with unyielding will. “Equestria desires a queen. By the end of this night, they shall have one, one way or another!”

Nightmare Moon charged, closing the distance between her and Celestia in an instant. Her magic surged, striking with its full power to deliver a killing blow. Instinctively, the Elements projected their own magic outwards, forming a wall of light in front of Celestia that deflected the attack and the mare’s charge entirely. The shockwaves from the clash ripped through the chamber, causing cracks to wind through the walls. Nightmare Moon quickly retreated from the shield, and spectral coils of magic shot after her. She tried to weave away, but the counterattack was too fast, and she was overtaken. The light wrapped around her, enveloping her completely.

As Nightmare Moon disappeared into the veil of multicolored light, Celestia focused her attention inward on her magic. She felt the power of the Elements, just as she had felt them a hundred years ago, battling Discord. Just as she had back then, she cast her consciousness into the shroud of magic, seeking out the impurity within. She found it almost immediately - a mass of overwhelming fury and jealousy. She focused the power of the Elements on it, willing the disharmony away. The hum of the Elements escalated sharply into a whine as their power increased. Slowly, the darkness began to shrink.

A tortured howl made her falter. She tried to steady her concentration as Nightmare Moon cried in pain. Something was wrong - it hadn’t felt like this last time. When they’d battled Discord, Celestia had felt a comforting warmth beside her. At the time, she had felt as though that warmth shared her hopes and dreams. It had made her strong - made the Elements strong, and with that strength they had cleansed disharmony from the land in one fell swoop.

But that warmth wasn’t beside her now. Without it, the Elements felt diminished. They struggled to expunge the darkness. It wasn’t gone - only far away. She could feel it somewhere in the shroud of the Elements’ magic. But, as she continued to channel the elements, the warmth seemed to fade as quickly as the darkness.

It was Luna.

In a chilling instant, she realized her worst fears were true. The warmth she had felt beside her was Luna, and the bond the two of them shared. Without her sister beside her - with the other half of her bond fighting against her - the Elements had lost their power. They could still destroy the darkness, but they could no longer separate it from the light. If she purged Nightmare Moon, Luna would perish.

Celestia’s mind raced, but finally settled into hardened resolve. For the safety of Equestria, it had to be done. Breathing deeply, she focused her magic and redoubled her will. Nightmare Moon screamed louder as the darkness began to fade faster. Celestia tried not to think about the distant warmth that faded just as fast. She tried not to think about the sister she had seen, unchanged, only ten minutes ago, sitting on her throne and demanding answers to her imagined sleights. She couldn’t let eternal darkness befall the land. This had to be done.

Only the voice in the back of her mind remained to deter her.

‘This is wrong!’

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Celestia slowly awoke to a gentle knock at her door. After a moment, Silver cautiously spoke.

“Princess? May I come in?”

“Yes, Silver, come in.” She was unsettled by the cracking unsteadiness of her own voice. She cleared her throat as Silver pushed open the door. The earth pony crossed the room, stopping at a respectful distance.

“I informed the court that you weren’t seeing any more visitors tonight, and I sent Sir Crest on his way.”

“Thank you, Silver.” Celestia was relieved that she was able to steady her voice. “I’m sure he was quite belligerent about it.”

“Actually, no. He seemed all too willing to depart. I think you… scared him, Your Highness. Made him think he was about to be beheaded.”

“I imagine I surprised a number of ponies tonight,” Celestia said gloomily. “Thank you, Silver, is there anything else?”

“Actually, Princess, I was… may we… talk?” Silver was hesitant, but unafraid. She stood her ground and met Celestia’s eyes. After a moment, Celestia nodded and moved to sit on one of the carpets on her floor, motioning for Silver to join her. The two sat in silence for a few moments before Silver finally spoke.

“I can't fault you for what happened tonight,” she began slowly, choosing her words carefully.

“It was disgraceful. A princess should never…”

“It wasn’t your fault. Any pony in your position would have done the same. The night court is so stressful. Everyone there is so used to living in the shadows and being ignored, and they’re used to screaming just to be heard. And you’ve been going through so much recently. You’ve taken so much on yourself.”

“Luna found a way to handle it. She could deal with it.”

“Luna didn’t run two courts. She didn’t have an entire nation on her shoulders alone. And even so, she never liked the night court. I think she thought of every night as a kind of challenge, and she was victorious if she made it through it without having to call for the guard,” Silver admitted with a chuckle. She lowered her eyes, as if lost in thought, but the faint smile remained on her lips. Celestia watched her for a moment, before summoning the courage to ask what she’d been wanting to.

“You miss her very much, don’t you?”

Silver met her gaze for a moment, then looked back to the floor.

“She was a good leader,” she said at last, “And a dear friend. She helped me so much, especially when I became her attendant. My first day, I was so nervous I could barely read from the docket. I’d been one of her hoofmaidens for years, but I’d never had so much responsibility on my shoulders as I did that night. We were standing outside the throne room, waiting to go in. I was mumbling and stuttering and fumbling with everything. And Luna looked at me, and she sighed and said, ‘Very well, Silver. We shall keep tonight simple. Just tell me who to throw into the dungeon and I’ll have it done.’ …I’m still only pretty sure she was joking. But, either way, it made me laugh, and I was able to think clearly afterwards.”

“Luna had a unique sense of humor, but she always had a knack for finding those who shared it. I’m sure she was glad she could help you feel better.”

“She did. And then there was the first time I met Noctus – I mean, Sir Crest…” Celestia waved a hoof and Silver continued. “I’d been her attendant for just a few weeks, and I thought I’d gotten a handle on everything. Then, Sir Crest enters, and he starts making his usual demands and boasts and everything else. And then he started his diatribe about how command of the night guard was his ‘sacred birthright,’ and that Luna should relinquish their oversight to him. It made me mad to see someone speaking to Luna that way, so I spoke up to correct him. I spoke out of turn, without thinking about it. And he turned on me, and started tearing into me. I couldn’t even speak, his anger and his authority were so intimidating.”

“When he left, I was shaking, fighting to hold back my tears. I’d been humiliated and belittled. But, worst of all, I’d disgraced Luna with my insolence. She wouldn’t even look at me. I was about to resign and leave the court forever when she finally spoke. She kept looking straight ahead, but she spoke quietly so that only I could hear. And she said, ‘Silver, Noctus Crest was born into a family of gold and worldly authority. But you are the right hoof of the moon and the stars – of the tides and the shadows and all the world unseen. You have earned your place with toil and dedication. You are a valued friend to me, and your word weighs a thousand times more to me than that stallion’s ever will.’”

“That was the first time she called me her friend. I’d never thought of us that way before, but when she said it, I knew it was true. She was somepony I cared very deeply about, too.”

Celestia said nothing. She only watched the pain on Silver’s face.

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‘This is wrong!’

Celestia steeled her resolve. The Elements continued to whine, and the darkness and the warmth continued to fade as one. Still the voice persisted.

‘Not like this!’

She tried to push it from her mind, but it continued to grow.

‘You can’t do this! Please, don’t do this!’

It grew and grew, until the voice was no longer her own.

‘CELLY!’

Celestia gasped at the sound of the voice beside her. She recognized it from deep within her memory, though she hadn’t heard it in a century. Celestia opened her eyes and found herself in an empty space, surrounded by white. All noise had ceased - the whine of the Elements, the cries of Nightmare Moon, everything. The only thing in the space with her was the image of another pony - a young unicorn mare with a dark grey coat and a mane of pure white. The figure shimmered like a spectral ghost. Her lavender eyes were wrought with grief and fear. Celestia stared in shock at the phantom of her only student - the student she had lost to Discord a hundred years ago. The student whose love had been the key to creating the Elements of Harmony.

“North Star?” she whispered. The mare gave her a sad smile, then closed her eyes. Her horn began to glow. Suddenly, Celestia was surrounded by visions. With a start, she recognized the projections as her own memories. She saw herself and Luna when they were very young, growing up under Discord’s reign. She saw them relying on each other for strength as they grew. She saw them meeting North Star, and taking her into their family. She saw them drawing their plans and steeling their resolve to defeat Discord, saw them grieving for North Star’s demise, saw them forging the Elements. And she saw them defeat Discord, casting him into a stone prison for eternity. She saw them take control of the night and the day, and be crowned rulers of Equestria. Luna was always by her side, and she by Luna’s.

But then the visions continued. She saw herself greeting her subjects, accepting their gifts, and basking in their affection. She saw herself raising the sun to the applause of a thousand onlookers. She saw herself attending parties and hosting gatherings for important nobleponies, and attending a thousand meetings and committees and performing the duties of her crown. And all the while, she saw Luna fading further and further into the background of her life.

Then she saw other visions, memories that weren’t her own. She saw a court full of demanding and ungrateful petitioners. She saw parties and gatherings with no pony closer than twenty feet to her viewpoint - not even herself, who was all the way across the room. She saw the well wishers and party goers dwindle and fade. She saw no gifts, no praise, no appreciation. She saw a festival, a party for their subjects of Luna’s own design, underneath a glorious night sky, with stars and comets and galaxies and all the wonders of the cosmos on display, and with nopony in attendance to see it.

Finally, she saw herself in a meeting a week ago. She saw herself unilaterally decree the fate of Luna’s moon. She saw herself order preparations for the imprisonment magic be prepared, even as Luna’s court members pleaded with her to reconsider.

And she saw herself tonight, screaming at her sister, “He’s my responsibility! He threatens my subjects with his chaos. I must protect them!”

The visions around her began to blur, and space seemed to fall out of balance. With a disorienting rush, Celestia found herself back in the Elements’ chamber, her magic purging Nightmare Moon and Luna from existence. No sooner had the world settled than the memories she’d seen rushed into her. Her eyes shot open as the emotions sent her mind tumbling. She felt her grip on the Elements disappear. A second later, she heard the gems clatter to the floor, and the crown on her head faded and lost its light. The veil of light surrounding Nightmare Moon disappeared.

The mare of darkness was lying on her side, evidently still in shock. Her legs disappeared past her knees, as if they had simply started to fade from existence one bit at a time. Feeling her pain vanish, she looked to Celestia in confusion. As understanding washed over her, her eyes squeezed shut in concentration. A surge of her magic poured over her, restoring her missing limbs instantly. She rose to her feet slowly, and began to cackle with wicked delight.

“You pitiful fool,” she bit through her laughter. Her aura swelled and undulated maliciously. “You could have won. Now victory is mine.”

“I should have been there,” Celestia whispered to the floor. Desperately, she looked to Nightmare Moon. “Luna, I’m so sorry. You’re right, I should have been there for you. I never should have turned my back on you like that.”

“Ah, so suddenly now you see things my way? Trying to bargain for your life now that you’ve lost your battle?”

“Luna, please. I was wrong. I swear, I’ll make it up to you. I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right, whatever you want. Just, please, put a stop to all of this.” Tears welled in her eyes as she pleaded.

“You think your foolish sentiments can rectify everything I’ve been through. You think you can dispel a century of disregard and abandonment? I demand penance for the wrongs done to me and my night!”

“Then punish me!” Celestia cried. “I’m the one who abandoned you. I failed you as your elder sister. Take your revenge on me, but leave Equestria out of this.”

“No.” Nightmare Moon’s magic began to surge again, tumbling wrestlessly around her. Her eyes flared with renewed hatred. “Your suffering alone will not redress my grievances. The ponies of this nation must learn to love my night, just as they must learn to love me. I shall be their queen, and all shall worship me and the darkness I bring.”

Nightmare Moon’s magic surged to a boil, sending waves of energy through the chamber. Pieces of the walls and ceiling began to crumble and fall to the ground.

“And you will die, because you were too weak to stop me!”

Time seemed to slow as Nightmare Moon charged. Celestia tried to think, but her mind was muddled by confusion and regret. Suddenly, North Star’s voice was beside her again.

“Celly, you have to help her.”

“I tried,” she answered desperately. “She won’t listen to me anymore. I can’t reach her.”

“This isn’t what Luna wants. You can’t let her do it.”

“I can’t destroy my sister. I won’t.”

“Then you have to do something else. Please, Celly.”

“I...” Celestia began, her mind racing. Suddenly, an idea struck her. There was no time to weigh it or analyze it. Even in this state of slowed time, Nightmare Moon had already closed most of the distance between them. She focused her own magic, channeling the spell she’d practiced diligently for the past week. She reached out desperately to the Elements, and they glowed and whined to life, floating back to surround her as time resumed its normal pace. Nightmare Moon leaped into the air as the elements synergized with Celestia’s spell. Just as Nightmare Moon’s magic swooped forward to deliver the killing blow, Celestia released her spell, and a blinding wave of light rushed forth, catching the mare of darkness full on. The energy of the spell washed ahead, obliterating the chamber’s ceiling and revealing the night sky above.

Nightmare Moon screamed in rage, cursing Celestia as her magic disappeared. Slowly, the intensity of the light increased, and she began to fade into it. She continued to howl with rage until she disappeared entirely, and still the light grew. When it finally dimmed, Celestia was back in the empty white space. Luna and North Star stood facing her.

Celestia tried to speak, but no sound came out. The two mares only smiled at her. Luna reached out a hoof towards her. Her face was soft and loving. Then, she began to fade away, and North Star followed. Celestia desperately reached out to them, trying to grab hold of them. But she couldn’t move. She cried out, but her voice still refused to speak. The two mares continued to smile at her as they faded more and more, and finally disappeared.

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When Celestia awoke from the white space, she was standing back in the chamber of the Elements. Looking around, she saw five of the Elements lying beside her, but the once radiant gems were now encased in orbs of stone. The Element of Magic had vanished from her head. She couldn’t feel them anymore. The connection she’d had with the Elements ever since their creation was severed. And a comforting warmth she’d never even realized was there had disappeared completely.

Celestia turned her attention to the sky, and the breath froze in her lungs. A dark shadow in the shape of a unicorn’s head was etched into the surface of the moon. It was the sign that her spell had succeeded. Luna was trapped, imprisoned on the moon for eternity.

Celestia fell to her knees as she struggled to breath through the pain that gripped her. Her heart felt as though it were tearing in two. She clenched her teeth as the tension built inside of her, until she finally couldn’t bear the anguish, and she threw back her head and cried to the night sky.

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“There was no other way,” Celestia whispered into the silence. Her chest was tight, and tears burned at her eyes again. Silver looked up in her in surprise and confusion for a moment, before understanding dawned on her and she quickly shook her head.

“No, no, Princess…”

“I tried to reason with her. I tried everything. There was nothing else I could do.”

“I know. You did everything you could…”

“The Elements weren’t strong enough without her.” Desperation crept into Celestia’s voice. “If I’d kept trying to purify her it would have killed her. I had no other choice. She had to be stopped. I had to do it!”

“Princess!” Silver all but pleaded. “You did everything you could. Luna… Nightmare Moon would have covered all of Equestria in eternal night. She would have destroyed us all, and herself. You couldn’t let her do it. This was the only way you could save her.”

“But I didn’t save her! I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t bring her back to the ponies who loved her.”

“Princess, it wasn’t your fault.”

Celestia fought against the tears that were already flowing down her cheeks. The overwhelming guilt she’d carried for the last three months finally crystallized into the single truth she hadn’t admitted to anyone.

“Yes it was,” she finally choked. “I saw what she was going through. I knew she felt lonely, and unappreciated. She needed someone to care about her. But I didn’t try to help her. She was the most important thing in the world to me, but I forsook her for my own affairs and my own fears. I focused all my attention on myself while she fell deeper into hatred and bitterness, until I could no longer help her.”

“And then I banished her into the darkness. I sent her away, and you will never see her again. She’ll never see any of the ponies she loves again. Everything she’s ever known will die and fade away while she sits alone in her prison. I didn’t destroy her, but I might as well have. I ended my sister’s life.”

She didn’t fight the tears anymore. She was tired of fighting them. She lowered her head to the ground and let months of unexpressed anguish and guilt shudder through her.

“I’m sorry, Silver,” she sobbed. “I failed her. I failed you. I’m so, so sorry.” She continued to weep, waiting for Silver’s wrath. She waited for the punishment she knew she deserved. She wept, and she waited, until she felt a hoof gently touch her foreleg. She looked up to see the mare gazing at her sadly.

“It wasn’t your fault alone, Princess,” Silver said comfortingly. “We were all close to Luna. We all should have seen what was happening. But none of us were able to help her, and she didn’t ask us to.”

“But she was my responsibility. I was her big sister…”

“And I was her caretaker. Orion was her personal guard – her knight. Ether Shine was her seer and adviser. We all cared for her, and we all should have been able to stop this from happening. It was all of our responsibility, especially Luna’s. In the end, it was her decision. You can’t blame yourself for it. But you were the only one who could save her. And you did.”

“I didn’t,” Celestia insisted. “I banished her. You’ll never…”

“But she’s alive. You found a way to spare her life. You gave her a second chance. Yes, I miss her terribly, and I’m sad knowing I’ll never see her again. But, even so, it’s not the same as if you’d killed her. I know that one day you’ll find a way to bring her back, and free her from her misery. And then she’ll start a new life, make new friends. She’ll be happy again. I can never thank you enough for that. You might not have been able to return her to us, but we all take comfort in knowing that she can still be saved. Thank you, Princess.”

Celestia lowered her head again, and her tears flowed anew. She didn’t stop when Silver embraced her. She felt the unbearable burden of her guilt lightened by Silver’s absolution, until she cried more for her loss than for her remorse. For the first time since the night of Nightmare Moon, she grieved for her sister.

“I miss her so much,” she said softly. “I’ve never been without her. Not for as long as I can remember.”

“I know. I miss her, too.” A small drop of water splashed onto Celestia’s shoulder, followed by several more. She returned Silver’s embrace tightly as the mare’s tears streaked onto her coat. They stayed that way in silence for a long time.